游侠笑传（2015）

If you took the time to think about it...
你好臭 非常臭
You smell. Really bad.
小公主 我是七国的骑士
Princess, I'm a knight of the seven realms
即将驶入一场载入史册的战争
about to ride into a battle so epic...
哦 天 天啊 对 我们该先找个地方
Oh, God, yeah. Yeah, we should find a place.
我要洗刷刷
I need to wash up.
太好了
Oh. Good.
我还以为我会去澡堂 这是教堂啊
I thought I was having a bath. This is a church.
这不仅仅是个教堂
This isn't just a church.
这是巴伦西亚最负盛名最受人崇敬的修道院
It's the most famed and revered monastery in Valencia.
#嘣吧啦嘣嘣#
# Bum ba-dum bum bum #
#欢迎来到修道院 全境最好修道院#
# Welcome to our Abbey, the best in the domain #
#万能天父邀你来 永恒赞歌♥传久远#
# The order of our father of perpetual refrain #
#我们是修道士#
# And we're the Monks #
#嘿 嘿 我们是修道士#
# Hey, hey, we're the Monks #
-科普一下 好吗 -#嘿 嘿 我们是修道士#
- Back story, please. - # Hey, hey, we're the Monks #
巴伦西亚的修道士用唱歌♥来宣誓
Valencian Monks all take a vow of singing.
-哦 真棒 -杀了我吧 -#嘿 嘿 我们是修道士#
- Oh, bravo! - Kill me. - # Hey, hey, we're the Monks #
#快进屋里来 如果有点倦#
# Come in if you are weary #
#肚内若空空 食物任你选#
# There's food if you would dine #
#美丽好心情 圣酒话团圆#
# Plus 31 varieties of sacramental wine #
#我们是小和尚#
# And we're the Monks #
#嘿 嘿 我们是五萌僧组合#
# Hey, hey, we're the Monks #
#吧啦吧啦吧啦#
# Bum ba-dum bum bum #
#我智慧超群#
# I'm the smart one #
#啊 哈利路#
# Ahh, Hallelu #
#我人见人爱#
# I'm the cute one #
#萌萌哒#
# Boopsy-doo #
#我羞涩腼腆#
# I'm the shy one #
#躲猫猫#
# Peekaboo #
#我霸气侧漏#
# And I'm the bad boy #
#但萌感不减 毕竟我是小和尚#
# But not so bad 'cause I'm a monk #
#保佑你 孩子 哦 哦 哦#
# Bless you, children ooh ooh ooh-ooh #
我们需要一个落脚的地方
We seek shelter...
马要喝点水 还有我朋友要洗个澡
Water for our horses, and a bath for my friend.
#给你圣水和圣皂 让你一次洗个够#
# We'll fetch the holy water and holy soap, as well #
#亲爱的鳄梨色拉啊 他简直浑身散发屎臭#
# 'Cause, holy Guacamole, that one reeks to holy hell #
#我们那么善良#
# And we're the Monks #
#嘿 嘿 我们是助人为乐的五萌僧#
# Hey, hey, we're the Monks #
#哦 喔哦#
# Ooh wee-ahh #
#摇摆爵士僧#
# Jazz hands #
#噢耶#
# Yeah! #
就不能好好说话嘛
Can't we just have a normal adventure?
你们谁能听人告解吗
Is there anyone available to counsel a person
我本是无心之过
who might, through no fault of her own,
但确实施了一场致命阴谋 为此我深感愧疚
be feeling guilty about a fatal plot she's put into motion
这个阴谋可能会把
which could lead to the
让我有点儿心动的人送上绝路
demise of someone she's grown a little fond of?
点头或者摇头
Just nod yes or no.
厨房♥今儿个谁当差啊
Where are the kitchen trolls?
啊
Ah.
参见王后
Hey, m'lady.
哪个贱奴才找死 连口茶都不给我喝
Who do I have to disembowel around here to get a cup of tea?
哦 奴才罪该万死
Oh, a thousand apologies.
我正忙着准备今晚的庆典
I was busy preparing for tonight's celebration.
什么庆典
Celebration for what?
哦 我从何而知呢
Oh, I... I wouldn't know.
我怕我小命儿难保
I-I'm just trying to stay alive,
后来发现还是少说话多做事的好
and I find it helps not to ask too many questions.
你跟国王关系不错吧 是不是
You're close with the king, aren't you?
额 怎么敢说是亲密呢 不过 我们是经常呆在一起
Eh, I wouldn't call us close, but we hang, yeah.
对了 你喜欢格温 我的女仆
And, um, you fancy Gwynne, my hand maiden.
是啊
Sha'!
听着 我知道我老公有事瞒我
Listen, I know Richard's keeping something from me.
你告诉我他葫芦里到底卖♥♥的什么药
You find out what he has up his sleeve,
我就有办法让你跟格温滚床单
and I will help you get Gwynne into your bed.
哦
Ooh.
求之不得 亲爱的王后
A generous offer, My Queen,
但我不太确定我的床睡不睡得下两个人
but I'm not even sure we could both fit into my bed.
你在厨房♥里睡
You sleep in the kitchen?
或者说是 在卧室里做饭
Or... Do I cook in my room?
我怎么沦落到要和穷♥人♥说话呢
Why do I even talk to poor people?
我们成交了吗
Do we have a deal?
我豁出去了
What the hell?
你能帮一点是一点
I need all the help I can get.
我睡够了这破厨房♥
I sleep in a freaking kitchen.
好吧
Okay.
国王正在筹划一场密会
The king is having a secret meeting
为此我要准备些小菜和点心
where I'm to serve snacks and a light refreshment
在夜幕降临蛙鸣响起
as soon as the croaks of the frogs
和最后一声鸦鸣时呈上去
usher in the raven's last call.
所以呢 是九点吗
So, like 9:00?
对 九点
Yeah, 9:00.
你真棒
Excellent.
带我过去
Take me there.
遵命 王后
Yes, m'lady.
理查德大帝说如果我没把宝石
And King Richard said if I didn't bring the jewel
和伽尔凡特都带回去 他就手刃我爹娘
and Galavant back, he'd kill my parents.
所以 我骗了伽尔凡特
So, I lied to Galavant
让他以为王后依然爱着他
and told him that the queen still loved him.
我在亲手将他推入一个陷阱
He's walking into a trap of my own making!
现在怎么办
What can I do?
说人话 要不然我砸了你的哨子
Break your vow, or I break your pipe.
-#吧啦吧啦吧啦# -所以 额
- # Bum ba-dum bum bum bum # - So, uh...
#吧啦啦吧啦啦#
# Bum ba-dum bum bum #
所以 就是说你跟邪恶的国王做了笔交易
So, basically, you made a deal with the evil king,
但是是在你喜欢上那个帅气的骑士以前
but that was before you fell for the handsome knight...
什么 喜欢 喜欢他
Fell... fell for what? Fell for him?
孩子 如果你要跟我争辩 我就没办法
My child, if you argue, I'm never gonna be able
赶上他们这首歌♥的大结局了
to make it back in time for their big finish.
我需要你的建议
But I need your advice.
按计划我应该带着伽尔凡特去见国王
I'm supposed to bring Galavant to the king
就在猎犬的吠声吵醒夜晚的精灵
when the barking of the hounds wakens the fairies in the evening
精灵们相聚于月光下共舞之时
so that they may begin their nocturnal dance.
是九点吗
So, like 9:00?
对 九点
Yeah,9:00.
九点过三分了
It's 9:03
怎么就我一个人准点儿来的呢
Why am I the only one who's ever on time?
应该统一一个以地球的转动为基准的
There should be a standardized system
标准的计时方式
based on the rotation of the earth
再同地球相对于太阳和月亮的位置联♥系♥起来
in relation to its position to the sun and the moon.
你说得真玄乎
You sound like a witch.
管它的 反正就是伽尔凡特太没礼貌了
Regardless, it is very rude of Galavant
连赴个死都迟到
to be late to his own killing.
伽尔凡特要来吗
Galavant's coming?
国王没跟我提过这个人
The king didn't give me a head count.
哦 我想到了一个极好的开场白
Oh, I came up with the most perfect line
我见他第一眼时
for when I first see him.
我要用上我最有震慑力的声音 我要说
In my most intimidating voice, I'm going to say,
哼 哼 好啊
"Well, well, well"...
算了 现在不白费力气
Nope. I'm gonna save it.
哦 他们来了
Oh. Here we go.
哼 哼
Well, well...
-天杀的伽尔凡特呢 -计划有变
- Where the hell's Galavant? - There's been a change in plans.
宝石给你 你也要放了我爹娘
You'll get the jewel and set my parents free,
但伽尔凡特不能死
but Galavant stays alive.
我明白了
I see.
我就知道是这样
How utterly predictable.
公主喜欢上那个所谓尊贵的骑士了
The princess has fallen for the noble knight.
她当然抗拒不了他的魅力
Of course she has.
我才不能让这么个男人留在世上呢