随性（2016）

20或30分钟 因为还得赶去吃午饭
like, 20 to 30 minutes 'cause then we're gonna go to lunch.
-好吗 -好的
- Okay? - All right.
选一件就行
Just pick one.
我找到那篇文章了 看了那项研究
I found the article. I read the study.
我想知道我为什么不想做♥爱♥
What I want to know is the reason that I don't want to have sex.
因为我看到他洗碗 打扫 打扫
Because I'm seeing him do the dishes and clean, clean,
要是我看到他伐木 干男人的活
would I be more into... would I be, like, turned on
我会 我会被激起性♥欲♥吗
if he was chopping wood or being manly?
我会欲♥火♥中烧 想要做吗
Am I gonna be all fired up and want to do it?
还是是因为我们已经相爱15年了
Or is this because we're 15 years into a relationship?
性感主妇
他的性♥欲♥
His libido...
任何即将进入不惑之年的男人 他没法控制的
Any guy who's gonna be turning 40 is-- He can't help it.
他的鸡♥巴♥不能一柱擎天
Like, his cock doesn't get rock hard.
而不是
It's not like--
谁想和一根半硬的鸡♥巴♥做啊
Who wants to fuck, like, a medium-hard cock?
这
It's...
我只是 我
I just, I...
我了解当年20岁的那根鸡♥巴♥
I knew that cock when it was... 20.
和现在很不一样 行 有空打给我
It's... It was a very different-- All right, call me back.
有空打给我
Just... just call me back.
我们说话这会儿她正打♥压♥我的男子气概 我要疯了
She's mapping my masculinity as we speak, and I'm losing my mind.
都是因为你该死的老公
And it's all because of your fucking husband.
-我错了 -他就喜欢嗅你的问题
- I'm sorry. - And he just loves to smell somebody's problems,
嗅你的弱点 然后对其展开攻击
smell your vulnerability, and then go for it.
-是的 -真的
- He does. - He does!
-我很抱歉 -真令人讨厌
- I'm sorry. - And it's obnoxious.
是的
Yes, it is.
他就喜欢捅熊[激怒人]
He pokes the bear.
他不是捅 他是朝熊跑过去
He doesn't poke the bear. He, like, runs up to the bear
然后捏它的奶♥子♥ 再给它一耳光
and, like, tweaks its nipples and smacks it in the face,
然后说 "是那个人干的"
and then says, like, "That guy did it."
嗯 嗯
Yeah, yeah.
天啊 婚姻 就是
Oh, God, marriage, it's, um--
不是 是我的婚姻
No, my marriage.
我疯狂 可爱 美丽 无敌的
With my insane, lovely, beautiful, incredible,
疯狂妻子
insane wife.
对 对 可是你 你不可思议
Right. Right, but your... your marvelously...
-关心人 优秀的妻子 -是的 关心人的妻子
- caring, wonderful wife who-- - Yes, caring wife
放弃了她还未成熟的戏剧演员事业
who gave up her nascent career as a theater artist
去大公♥司♥工作来支持我的戏剧爱好
and got a corporate gig to support my theater habit,
这一直是我们关系中的一个问题
which has always been a problem in our relationship,
我已经需要克服
and I already have to overcome
老婆催我找工作这事
the "get a real job" thing from my wife,
在我们的关系中
and there's already a fucking thing in our relationship
她当男人 她赚钱
about her wearing the pants and her winning the money,
而我照顾小孩 当 你懂的
and me taking care of her babies and being, you know,
家庭主夫
the stay-at-home dad.
我想你懂的 任何时候在一段婚姻中
I think, you know, I think anytime when you have a marriage
一方从事艺术
when you have someone who's staying in the arts
而另一方忙于
and someone who's kind of firmly rooted...
公♥司♥业务
in the corporate community,
你总是得克服那种不平衡
you're always gonna have that battle of imbalance,
不论性别
I think, no matter what the sex.
这在你的婚姻里 你知道
And that's a very delicate, you know...
-没错 -是个很微妙的部分
- Well, exactly. - ...part in your marriage.
-没错 -我懂 可我
- Exactly. - I understand that, but I...
我想目前来说 你把精力集中在了一个
I think right now, you're focusing on something really...
非常棒的东西...
kind of marvelous, which...
-是什么 -你的剧本
- What? - Your play.
《美国之南》
没错
Oh, right.
你想聊聊它吗...
Which, if you'd like to talk about it...
我挺想聊的 因为我已经读过了 还...
I would, because I read it and I...
-当然 就是为了它才见面 -我...
- Sure, yeah. I mean, of course. That's why we're here. - I, uh...
-我还做了批注 -天啊 太好了
- I took some notes. - Oh, my God. Wow.
真的 我真心觉得这个剧本...
I did. I really think that there's something pretty...
非常不错
fantastic here.
你今晚打算干点什么
What are you gonna do tonight?
好激动
Um, I'm actually really excited.
要看一部有关奴隶制的纪录片
I'm gonna watch this, uh, documentary about slavery.
如果这听起来还不够有意思 这片
If that doesn't sound appealing enough, it's supposed to be, uh,
长达三个半小时 学术性可能很强
three and a half hours long and it's supposedly very academic.
宝贝
Oh, honey.
你看这个
Is that for your play
-是为自己的剧本找素材吗 -是的
- that you've been working on? - Yeah, yeah.
据说
Supposedly, uh,
剧中间那部分讲的是19世纪的美国
the middle section's all about 19th century America
解放奴隶宣言以及南北战争
and the Emancipation Proclamation and the Civil War.
我觉得好骄傲
So proud of you.
-我... -谢谢
- I just... - Thanks.
我觉得你真的是
I just think you're really,
一位特别...
really such a special...
而又帅气的演员...
beautiful actor...
人和作家
and person, and writer.
真是太爱你了
And I just love you so much.
这对我意义重大 谢谢你这么说
That means so much. Thank you for saying that.
你被我定住了 警官
You're under my spell now, Officer.
我让你干什么就干什么
You'll do anything I want.
-天啊 -我的天
- Wow! - Oh, Jesus!
-真是部不错的纪录片 -天啊
- This is a great documentary. - Oh, my God.
-这就是那部有关奴隶制的... -不
- This is the slave documentary that you... - No. No.
哎呦喂
Oh, my God!
"我打算看一部有关奴隶制的纪录片"
"Oh, I'm just gonna go watch a slave documentary."
-别说了 -拜托
- Shut up. - Uh, excuse me.
我真打算要看那个...别这样
I really was coming down... No.
凑过来
Come here.
-干什么 -我要看
- Hi. - I need to see this.
-继续播放 -不行
- You need to turn it back on. - No, we are not.
立马给我播
You need to turn it back on right fuckin' now.
-不播 -播
- I'm not turning it back on. - Turn it on.
不要 不要 不要
No. No. No.
-拜托 -不是你想的那样
- Come on. - No, that's not... It's not what you think.
-我并没有... -等下 看我的
- I wasn't... I wasn't... - Wait, wait, wait, watch this.
-什么鬼 -她刚才就是这么甩头的
- What was that? - It was her hair toss.
-你喜欢吗 -再甩一次
- Oh, you like that? - Do it again. Yeah.
这动作好像你耳朵里进了水
It looks like you have water in your ear.
像是你游了泳 想要...
Like you've been swimming. You're, like, tryin' to get...
我...
I just...
我知道你会用这事打♥压♥我
I know that you're gonna lord this over me...
-我不会用这事打♥压♥你 -我只是想...
- I'm not gonna lord it over you. - And I just wanna...
好吧 我甘愿被抓
Okay. I'm... I'll cop to getting caught.
-我把手... -我不会拿这事打♥压♥你
- Literally with my hand... -I'm not gonna lord it over you.
-伸进裤子 -我会用我下面打♥压♥你
- ...down my pants, but... - I'll lord my pussy over you.
都是后台算法搞的鬼
The fucking algorithm showed me that thing instead.
那我给你看看这个
I'm gonna show you this thing.
不 你要知道 这不代表...
No, you see, this isn't...
这根本不是我的喜好
It's not even representative of what I'm into.
我不喜欢大胸 不喜欢
I'm not into, like, big boobs. I'm not...
你...这是要干什么
What are you... What are you doing right now?
给你看我下面
Showing you my pussy.
我...知道她长什么样
I'm well... I know your pussy.
-你喜欢吗 -喜欢
- Do you like that? - Yeah.
"啊 啊 爽"
"Uh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I like it."
我希望以后你别拿这事开涮我
It's just really important to me
这对我真的很重要
that that doesn't become a thing.
你现在这么激动
'Cause you're all fucking hot and bothered right now,
-可明天你就会... -天啊
- but tomorrow you're gonna be, like... - Oh, God.
"你真的是在看纪录片吗 凯尔"
"Are you really watching a documentary, Kyle?"
你可真扫兴
You're, like, really bumming me out.
-好吧 -晚安
- Okay. - Good night.