第二十二条军规

你想赌钱吗
Do you want to put money on it?
好啊
Sure.
五美元
$5.
-怎么了 -五美元
- What? - $5.
你是小气鬼吗
What are you, cheap?
-一百美元 -我才不要赌一百美元
- 100. - I'm not putting $100.
-你都没有一百美元 -我用不上
- You don't have $100. - I won't need it.
-你用的上 -不
- Yes, you will. - No.
你真傻
You're silly.
我才不
No, I'm not.
我喜欢你脖子的气味
I like the way your neck smells.
我喜欢你头发的气味
I like the way your hair smells.
我喜欢你肩膀的气味
I like the way your shoulders smell.
开始攒钱吧
Better start saving your pennies.
早上好 约约先生 我们给你带来了礼物
Buongiorno, Mister Yo-Yo. We have a gift for you!
各位 怎么回事
Hey, fellas. What's the rumpus?
是迈洛先生送的
Is from, uh, Mister Milo.
他回来了吗 我需要跟他谈谈
Oh, is he back? I need to talk to him.
不 迈洛先生在多哥
Eh, no, no. Mister Milo in Togo.
他什么时候回来
When is he back?
-周六 -周六
- Eh, Sabato. - Saturday.
你们能用无线电联♥系♥他吗
Well, can you get him on the radio?
我需要跟他谈 他说要给我份工作的
I need to talk to him. He offered me a job.
我拒绝了 但我现在觉得我该接受
I said no, but now I think I need to say yes.
不 他在船上
Eh, no, no, he on a ship.
他给你寄来了这个
He send you this.
这是为你的睾丸准备的
This for your testicolo.
非常宽松
Is very big room.
为了你的睾丸
For testicolo, no?
是啊 因为可不想...
Yes, because no want, eh...
那不好
Is very bad.
为你的蛋蛋
For your balls.
看这里 亲爱的
Over here, tootsie!
裤子真棒
Nice pants!
科恩中校
梅杰·梅杰少校
我被告知这里现在是卡斯卡特的办公室了
I'm told this is Cathcart's office now.
是的 长官
Yes, sir.
-梅杰少校呢 -他也在里面 长官
- Where's Major Major gone? - He's in there, too, sir.
-他们都在里面吗 -是 长官
- They're in there together? - Yes, sir.
-我可以进去吗 -看情况了
- Can I go in? - That depends.
什么情况
Depends on what?
看你是来见谁的
Depends on who you're here to see.
-卡斯卡特 -可以
- Cathcart? - Fine.
我说了 协议取消 约塞连
I told you, the deal's off, Yossarian.
我知道协议取消了 好啊 梅杰
I know the deal's off. Hiya, Major.
-约塞连 -你好吗
- Hi, Yossarian. - How you been?
挺好的
Pretty swell.
那你想要什么
Well, then what is it that you want?
我想回家 你欠我的
I want to go home. You owe me.
我都说了 协议取消了
I just told you the deal is off.
谢斯科夫决定的 你当时也在场
Scheisskopf saw to that. You were there.
但我又不是跟谢斯科夫做的协议
But I didn't make the deal with Scheisskopf.
我是跟你做的
I made it with you.
他解除了协议 我也没办法
And he unmade it. My hands are tied.
我的蛋蛋都被打掉了
I've had my balls blown off.
我要你送我回家
I want you to send me home.
我做不到
I can't.
什么叫你做不到
What do you mean you can't?
-你当然做得到 -我就是做不到
- Yes, you can! - I mean that I can't.
我也想 相信我
And I'd like to, believe me.
我跟你一样希望你离开这里
I'd like to see you gone from here as much as you would.
-那就做吧 -我做不到 孩子
- Then do it! - I can't, son.
你是说你没有送人回家的
You mean to tell me that you don't have the authority
权利吗
to send people home?
我是有权送人回家
Oh, I have the authority to send people home.
我就是不能送你回家
I just can't send you home.
我有严格命令 没有他的批准
I am under strict instructions not to send you home
绝不能送你回家
without his prior approval.
-他那么说的吗 -是的
- He actually said that? - He did.
但我的蛋蛋都被打掉了
But I've had my balls blown off!
还需要什么 这是紧急医疗情况
What more does it take? This is a medical emergency.
如果是紧急医疗情况
Well, if it's a medical emergency,
那我建议你去找德尼卡医生谈
I suggest you go talk to Doc Daneeka.
你看我像个蛋蛋医生吗
Do I look like a ball doctor to you?
-你明白吗 -是 长官
- You understand? - Yes, sir.
每两小时注射两剂
That's two doses every two hours.
医生 我需要你帮忙
Okay. Doc, hey, I need your help.
你得告诉谢斯科夫
You got to tell Scheisskopf
我的蛋蛋被打掉了
that I've had my balls blown off.
但你的蛋蛋并没有被打掉
But you haven't had your balls blown off.
无所谓
Doesn't matter.
得让他以为我的蛋蛋被打掉了
He needs to think that they've been blown off.
你是叫我向一个我们都知道
You're asking me to lie to a guy
不好惹的家伙撒谎
that we both know is trouble.
不 我不是叫你撒谎
No, I'm not asking you to lie.
我是叫你用用你的想象力
I'm asking you to use your imagination.
你知道如果我留在这里 谢斯科夫会坑死我
You know that if I stay here, Scheisskopf is gonna fuck me.
我失去了所有朋友
I've lost all my friends.
我飞的任务数比基地任何人都多
I've flown more missions than anybody on this base,
每次我接近飞满任务量
and every time I get close to reaching the quota,
他们就再提升 就为整我
they raise it on me to fuck me.
我受不了了
I can't do this anymore.
我知道你不能以精神病为由禁飞我
I get that you couldn't ground me for insanity.
我知道你不能以不存在的肝病为由
I get that you couldn't ground me for liver problems
禁飞我 但现在我终于有了
that never existed, but now I finally have
正当真实的医疗问题
a legitimate, actual medical complaint.
你保证过在重要的时候会帮我的
And you promised to help me when it counted.
我没叫你撒谎
I'm not asking you to lie.
我叫你做个好医生
I'm asking you to be a doctor.
长官 约塞连上尉患上了
Sir, Captain Yossarian suffered
严重的睾丸梗塞
a catastrophic testicular infarction.
什么
A what?
严重的睾丸梗塞
A catastrophic testicular infarction.
那是什么
What the hell is that?
长官 就是阴囊袋软组织创伤
Well, sir, it's a soft tissue trauma to the scrotal sack.
怎么了
And?
我认为约塞连上尉应被送回家
And I believe Captain Yossarian should be sent home.
那么严重吗
It's that bad?
他可能生不了孩子了
He may never have children.
你是说他的蛋蛋被打掉了
You're saying he's had his balls blown off.
差不多 长官
Approximately, sir.
我不知道 医生
I don't know, Doc.
如果我的蛋蛋被打掉了
If I'd had my balls blown off,
我恐怕是不能像这样站在那里的
I can't imagine I'd be standing there just like that.
还是立正站好
And at attention, no less.
他现在打了不少药 长官
Well, he's heavily medicated right now, sir.
我想看看
I want to see.
什么 长官
E-excuse me, sir?
我想看看
I want to see.
我要理解这...
I want to understand this...
"梗塞"
"Infarction."
脱裤子 士兵
Drop your pants, soldier.
这恐怕不好吧 长官
I-I'm not sure that's such a good idea, sir.
他下面很敏感
He--he's very tender down there.
我想看看
I want to see.
脱裤子 士兵
Drop your pants, soldier.
拆掉绷带
Take the bandage off.
我数下面有俩睾丸 医生
I'm counting two testicles down here, Doc.
拆掉缝线 该死的
I want these stitches out, God damn it.
带着你的蛋蛋回天上去飞任务
I want this nut sack back in the air flying missions