第二十二条军规

不会的
No, we won't.
第10步兵团正在前往博洛尼亚
10th Infantry is headed to Bologna right now.
他们会替我们打掉高射炮
They'll clean out those artillery guns for us.
天呐 你是真不理解这里面的门道啊
Oh, man, you really don't know how this works.
我看到图表了 第10步兵团只有两天就到
I saw the charts. 10th is less than two days out.
你真是不理解这里的门道啊
You really don't know how this works.
我不知道什么的门道
I don't know how what works?
一切 约塞连
Everything, Yossarian.
-这就是重点 -什么重点
- That's the point. - What point?
-你想说什么 -没错
- What's your point? - Exactly.
这都是数字游戏
It's all a numbers game,
等你的命数到了 那就是到了
and when your number's up, your number's up.
去你的数字 麦克沃特
Screw your numbers, McWatt.
约塞连
Hey, Yossarian!
上来
Jump in.
这是什么
What the hell is this?
我在威尔士找来的
I picked it up in Wales.
找到了满满一仓库呢
I found a warehouse full.
65辆在路上 35辆在水上
65 on land, 35 on water.
等战争结束 我就把它们运去明尼苏达州
When the war is done, I ship 'em to Minnesota.
我有事问你
Hey, I got a bone to pick with you.
他们还是要派你们去博洛尼亚
They're still gonna send you to Bologna.
所以昨天有什么意义
So what was the point of yesterday?
等士兵们不再拉肚子了
As soon as the men can hold their guts in,
你们就还得再去博洛尼亚
you're gonna go back to Bologna.
是啊 但这次我们就有地面支持了
Yeah, but this time, we got ground support.
我有坏消息告诉你 朋友
I got bad news for you, my friend.
你的地面支持改道了
Your ground support has been rerouted
不去博洛尼亚 而是去阿詹蒂
from the Bologna road to the Argenti road,
就是因为皮亚诺萨空军基地大面♥积♥爆发疾病
due to a mass illness on the Pianosa Air Base,
但没事的 伙计
but it's gonna be all right, pal.
我得见少校
I need to see the Major.
你现在不能见他 长官
You can't see him right now, sir.
那我什么时候能见他
Well, when can I see him?
等他去吃午餐时
When he goes out to lunch.
那时你就能进去了
Then you can go right in.
抱歉 你再说一遍
I'm sorry, say that again?
梅杰少校在办公室时
Major Major never sees anyone in his office
是不在他办公室见人的
while he's in his office.
那你说我什么时候能见他
So when are you saying I can see him?
基本上见不到 长官
Pretty much never, sir.
-梅杰 -我得请你离开 长官
- Hey, Major! - I'm gonna have to ask you to leave, sir!
-梅杰 -拜托 长官
- Major! - Come-- Sir!
约塞连
Yossarian.
你的手下真是疯了
Your man has lost his mind.
他吗 他就是...
Oh, him? He's--he's just--
天呐
Oh, God. Jesus.
你到底有什么进展
So what's this progress you say you've made?
-什么进展 -进展
- What progress? - The progress.
你在翻看行动手册
You were going through the operations manual,
你那晚告诉我你有进展
and you told me the other night that you made progress.
我没有任何进展
I haven't made any progress.
-你读了吗 -很不好读的
- Did you read it? - It's very difficult to read.
我们不能飞博洛尼亚
We can't fly Bologna.
这十天里 其他中队已经掉了
36 planes from other squadrons have already gone down
36架飞机
in the last ten days.
那里简直是B-25坟场
It's a B-25 boneyard down there.
你如果不害怕就不正常了
Well, you wouldn't be normal if you weren't afraid.
就连最勇敢的人也会害怕
Even the bravest men experience fear.
我问你件事
Let me ask you something.
你为什么参军
Why did you join up?
因为这是正确的做法 做好事
Because it was the right thing--to do good.
没错 你在这里就能做好事
Exactly, and you can do good from right here.
你在这里就能拯救生命
You can save lives from right here.
我不懂
I-I don't understand
你究竟以为我能做什么
exactly what it is that you think I can do.
你是个少校 你是梅杰·梅杰·梅杰少校
You're a Major. You're Major Major Major Major.
-你可以签署东西 -签署什么
- You can just sign things. - Sign what?
-表格 -什么表格
- The form. - What form?
让我们停飞的表格
The form to stand us down.
为什么要你们停飞
To stand you down, why?
让我们停飞
To stand us down, you know,
因为对生命和肢体有不合理威胁
for unreasonable risk to life and limb.
我没有停飞一个中队的权利
I don't have the power to stand down a squadron
连一个机组都不行
or even a crew.
那就我一人 让我停飞
Then just me. Stand me down.
那要是人人都这么想呢
Oh, s-suppose everybody felt that way.
那我要是不这么想不是太傻了
Then I'd certainly be a damn fool to feel any other way,
是不是
wouldn't I?
那么 你要我让你停飞
So you want me to stand you down
而你的朋友去飞博洛尼亚
while your friends fly Bologna?
为什么不行
Why not?
这个决定并不会比
It wouldn't be any more or less arbitrary
任何其他替我做出的决定更武断
than any other decision that gets made on my behalf.
我不怕德国人
I'm not afraid of the Germans.
我怕卡斯卡特认为
I am afraid of Cathcart deciding
我还得飞更多任务
that I need to fly more missions.
我怕那个决定地图上
I'm afraid of the person who decides
轰炸线该画在哪的人
where the bomb line goes on the map.
那人是谁
Who is that person?
我们现在就是这样
And that's what it's come down to for us.
我们怕地图上的线
We're afraid of a line on a map.
你知道那是什么感觉吗
Do you know what that feels like?
害怕一条线
To be afraid of a piece of string?
抱歉打扰你 长官
Sorry to disturb you, sir.
我们拿下博洛尼亚了 长官
We've captured Bologna, sir.
谁拿下博洛尼亚了
What-- Who's captured Bologna?
我不知道 长官
I don't know, sir.
我去了简报室 长官
I was in the briefing room, sir.
轰炸线现在在博洛尼亚以北60英里了
The bomb line is now 60 miles north of Bologna.
谢谢 列兵
Thank you, Private.
长官
Sir.
长官 是我 科恩
Sir, it's me, sir--Korn.
-怎么了 科恩 -抱歉叫醒你
- What is it, Korn? - I'm sorry to wake you.
但您应该想知道
But I thought you'd like to know.
我们拿下博洛尼亚了
We captured Bologna.
-什么时候 -夜里时 长官
- When? - Overnight, sir.
轰炸线现在在城市以北60英里处了
The bomb line is now 60 miles north of the city.
-简直太棒了 -我也觉得
- That's goddamn terrific. - I thought so too.
我要去取消任务吗
Yeah, so should I go ahead and cancel the mission?
你当然应该取消任务
Of course you should cancel the mission.
我们总不能轰炸自己人
We're not gonna bomb our own men, are we?
当然 当然不能 长官
Of course-- of course not, sir.
当然不能
Of course not.
约约
Yo-Yo!
约约 醒醒
Yo-Yo, wake up now!
你想听点消息吗
Hey, you want to hear some news?
-第10步兵团拿下了博洛尼亚 -什么
- The 10th Infantry took Bologna. - What?
他们晚上时拿下了那里
They fucking took it overnight.
我去 我去
Holy shit. Holy shit.
我可以见我的姑娘了 我可以去罗马了
I get to see my girl! I'm going to Rome!
你们谁是迈洛·迈德邦德
Which one of you is Milo Minderbinder?
你好 少校 是我
Oh, hello, Major. That'd be me.
羊排先生
Oh, Mr. Lamb Chops.
没错 长官
That's right, sir.
小子 为什么他们告诉我所有
Well, now, why is it, son, that they tell me that all
非战斗飞机都得向你征用
non-combat planes have to be requisitioned through you?
指挥链 长官
Chain of command, sir.
伊曼纽尔 快点
Emanuele, rapido, rapido.
-我需要架飞机去博洛尼亚 -博洛尼亚
- I need a plane to Bologna. - Bologna?