第二十二条军规

谁能帮帮我
Hey, can somebody help me here?
救他 救救他
Help him! Help him!
该死
Oh, shit!
别担心 我在调...
Don't worry. I'm turning--
飞机不对劲
There's something wrong with the plane!
天呐 只能继续下去
Man, just got to keep going.
你到底还是帮助地面上的人了
So you're helping the boys on the ground after all.
-你去死吧 -得跳了 约塞连
- I hope you die! - Got to jump, Yossarian!
不 回来
No, come back!
我就在你身后 我得把它弄出去
I'm right behind you. I've got to get it out...
你们这群没用的 要是以为我会让你们
You goddamn spastics think I'm gonna let you
像巴斯利·伯克利的伴唱那样在这里乱蹦
prance around here like a Busby Berkeley chorus line,
你们就想错了
then you've got another think coming to you.
我让你们比其他中队都花更多时间练习齐步走
I make you practice marching more than any other squadron
好在周日阅兵时出色表现
so you'll be better for the Sunday parades,
结果呢
and what happens?
我们更差劲了
We look worse.
你们更差劲了
You look worse.
走到中点来 跟我妥协一下吧
Just meet me halfway.
我每次不都跟你们妥协 走过中点吗
Don't I always meet you more than halfway?
或许就是因此 我们才碰不上
That may be why we never meet at all.
这怪我吗
Is it my fault?
这一切能怪我吗 我想知道
Is any of this my fault? I want to be told.
我不会惩罚对我实话实说的人
I won't punish the man who tells me the truth.
-我发誓 -他会的
- I swear. - Oh, yes, he will.
我会感激告诉我实话的人的
I would be thankful to the man who tells me the truth.
你们为什么走不了直线
Why can you not walk a straight line?
训练11周了 你们为什么不能转直角
Why can you not turn a 90-degree angle after 11 weeks?
你们为什么都似乎不在乎 还有九天
Why do you not seem to care that we are nine days
就是跨中队阅兵大会了
from the Inter-Squadron Parade Jamboree?
你看什么看呢
What the fuck are you staring at?
我们怎样才能终于 我求你们了
How can we finally, finally--I beg you--
想办法把这事做好
find a way of getting this thing right?
我还真知道这问题的答案
I actually know the answer to this.
-不 你不知道 -天呐 克莱文杰
- No, you don't. - Oh, my God, Clevinger.
不 真的 我看了阅兵手册
No, really, I was looking at the parade manual...
闭嘴
Shut up.
首先要把我们分成更小的组
About breaking us into smaller groups to start.
-你真得闭嘴了 -最重要的问题是
- You really need to shut up. - And the $100 question--
为什么把你们胳膊的摇摆控制在
why is it so hard to restrict the swing of your arms
最大7英寸侧摆弧线范围内
to a maximum seven-inch lateral pendulum arc
手腕到大腿最大距离控制在4英寸内那么难
with a maximum four-inch distance from wrist to thigh?
皮尔 请示范
Peele, if you please!
7英寸侧摆弧线
Seven-inch lateral pendulum arc,
手腕到大腿距离4英寸
four-inch distance wrist to thigh.
-谢谢 皮尔 -是 长官
- Thank you, Peele! - Yes, sir!
为什么那么难办到
Why is that so hard?
为什么那么难办到
Why is that so hard?
7英寸摆动 4英寸距离
Seven-inch swing, four-inch gap.
那样我们看上去才紧绷
Then we look tight.
才威猛
Then we look fierce.
那样我们才跟现在特流行的
Then we stand out from all the goddamn free-swinging arms
自♥由♥甩臂一族区分开
that seem to be the goddamn fashion these days.
那样我们才能赢得锦旗 因为你们的手
Then we win the goddamn pennant because your goddamn hands
到大腿中♥央♥往两个方向
ought never move more than three and a half inches
前或后的距离
in either direction, north or south,
不应超过3.5英寸
from the center of your thigh!
但看来我们都是一群蠢蛋
But apparently we're all a bunch of mongoloids.
他说你呢 克莱文杰
He's talking about you, Clevinger.
无赖
Reprobates!
我整夜没睡
And I've been staying up at night.
一直对自己说
I've been saying to myself...
"我们要怎么能赢呢 小伙子们"
"How are we gonna win this thing, boys?"
知道怎么能行吗
And you know what'd do it?
我有个朋友有家金属片店
I got a friend in the sheet-metal shop,
他能给我做小镍合金钉
and he'd make me little pegs of nickel alloy,
我可以把钉子打进你们的大腿骨里
and I could sink each one of them into your thigh bones
再用铜线跟你们的手腕连上
and connect it to your wrists with strands of copper wire
只留3.5英寸的长度
with exactly three and a half inches of play,
因为你们似乎就是一群基佬
because apparently we're all a bunch of pansies!
所以我问你们 谁能告诉我
So I'm asking you, somebody tell me,
我到底哪里做错了
what is it that I am doing wrong?
谁能说说 任何人都行
Somebody, anybody tell me,
我到底哪里失败了
where have I failed?
不 那是反问
No, it's a rhetorical question.
长官
Sir!
-什么事 士兵 -天呐
- Soldier? - Jesus Christ.
长官 我其实思考了此事
Well, sir, I've actually been thinking about this.
你瞧 我觉得解决办法很简单
And, you see, I think it's quite a simple solution.
你叫什么 士兵
What's your name, soldier?
克莱文杰 长官
Clevinger, sir.
空军学员蒂莫西·克莱德·克莱文杰
Air Corps Cadet Timothy Clyde Clevinger.
我在想 问题是出在
So I was thinking, the problem lies
整个方队的同步性和单排同步性
in the relationship between the synchronization of the whole unit
之间的关系上
and synchronization of the individual lines, you see?
如果从小往大做
You start small rather than big,
让整支队伍分组练习
you divide the unit into practice groups,
比如说 六到十人 人的天性
say six to ten men, well, it's just human nature
就是在小组的情况下更容易牢记信息
to take in information more concretely in smaller groups.
所以 长官 我认为您的错误在于
So, sir, I would suggest your error--
克莱文杰 闭嘴吧
Clevinger, stop fucking talk--
你觉得这分组够小了不
This group small enough for you?
我还是不能理解
I still can't understand it.
有什么好理解的
What is there to understand?
他们恨你
They hate you.
你来到这儿之前他们就恨你了
They hate you before you got here.
你在这里时他们也恨你
They hate you while you're here,
你走了之后 他们还会继续恨你
and they're gonna keep on hating you after you leave.
对不起 伙计
I'm sorry, buddy.
作为中队的长机轰炸员
As the lead bombardier in the squadron,
其他人都看你行动
everyone else is following your cues.
所以 在此次练习中
So, with this practice run,
把你的瞄准角设置为70度
set your sighting angle to 70 degrees.
接上离合器 打开速度和机动开关
Now, clutch in, turn your rate and motor switch on.
速度和机动会控制在选定速度
The rate and motor runs within five RPMs
每分钟5转内
of the chosen speed.
他们来了 内特利 是红男爵
Here they come, Nately. It's the Red Baron.
干掉它
Take him down.
你看得懂速率指示吗
You know what's happening to your rate index?
你要在整个范围内找到一个点
You're trying to find just one point on that scale.
但注意指标
But watch the indices.
你要靠它确认自己的位置
That's the only way you keep track of where you are.
现在就习惯吧
So get in the habit now.
你都对准了 接下来呢
So, you're lined up. What's next?
打开炸♥弹♥舱门
Open bomb bay doors.
好的 做吧
Okay, go ahead.
打开炸♥弹♥舱门
Opening bomb bay doors.
小心保持水平 以便保持住垂直基准线
Level carefully so you can keep the vertical reference line.
计算必须绝对精准
Every calculation must be precise.
接下来呢
And next?
投弹吗
Bombs away?
对
Correct.
投弹
Bombs away.
天呐 天呐
Oh, God. Oh, God.
我敢说 你每说一样值得感激的东西
You know, I bet I could name two things to be miserable about
我就能说出它两样讨厌的地方
for every one you can name to be thankful for.
为你的健康感到感激
Mmm, be thankful you're healthy.
但你无法永远健康 因此而怨愤
Be bitter you're not gonna stay that way.
为你还活着高兴
Be glad you're even alive.
为你将死而愤怒
Be furious how you're gonna die.