流金岁月（2015）

- 来啊 - 甘地先生
- Come here! - Mr. Ghandi!
甘地先生 托洛斯基先生 别动手
Mr. Ghandi, Mr. Trotsky, please!
激烈的争论是一回事
Spirited debate is one thing.
动用武力就是另一回事了
Violence is quite another.
非暴♥力♥政策
Non-violence.
我怎么就没想到过呢
I had never thought of that.
因为我不是个小婊砸
Because I'm not a little bitch!
啊
Ah!
亲爱的上帝 请让我自♥由♥
Dear God, please free me.
如果你还有时间的话 让我声名鹊起吧
And if you have time,make me really famous.
如果你顺手的话 上帝 你介意
And while you're at it,God, would you mind
把我所有的敌人们都烧死吗
killing all my enemies in a fire?
哦 最好是在他们沐浴过后 这样他们头发还湿着
Ooh, but hopefully after they bathe, so their hair's still wet
就能让他们被火烤熟要花的时间长点
and the fire takes longer to cook them.
啊
Ah!
正在向上帝祷告吗
Praying to God, huh?
你这个蠢蠢的小猪仔
You silly little piggy.
关于我被绑♥架♥这回事 人们近来都是怎么说的
What's the latest gossip in town about my kidnapping?
人们大范围的开始搜寻我的踪迹了吗
Has a search party been sent out?
银行倒闭了吗
Are the banks closed?
事实上 人们都欢欣鼓舞
Well, actually, there's a real pleasantness in the air.
像是某些挥之不去的屁的臭味终于消散了
Like some horrible lingering fart just left the room.
刚开始我勉强忍♥受你的虐待
You know, at first I was able to accept your abuse
是怀着把它当做被绑♥架♥的真实体验的心态
as a realistic detail in a curated kidnapping experience,
但是 你太粗鲁了
but-- you're just rude,
我受够了你的虐待 我想回家
and I've taken enough abuse from you, and I want to go home!
好吧 你可以走
Fine! You can go.
我不会阻拦你
I won't stop you.
不过我想 媒体应该会对你花钱雇我绑♥架♥你这件事
But I imagine the newspapers will be very interested to know
非常感兴趣吧
that you hired me to kidnap you.
你这个怪兽（还有巨大的之意）
Ugh, you're a monster!
我的巨根 没错
Penis-size-wise,you're correct.
你的嘴里有肉汤的味道
Your breath smells like broth.
那么你选择留下吗
So you'll stay?
我想我没有其他选择 是吗
I don't suppose I have any other choice, do I?
不 没有选择
No. No choice.
一点选择都没有
No choice at all.
如果没有工人阶级 生命将无法延续
Life is not possible without the working man.
该犹太人说观点了
Point for the Jew!
如果没有富人
Without the rich,
仆人们将整天无所事事 只会赌博
the serving class would have nothing to do but gamble,
吃太妃糖 还有喝汽油
eat taffy, and drink gasoline!
但仆人们承受着巨大的痛苦
But the serving class suffers!
这是我们的使命
As we should!
呃 他们的使命
Uhh-- they should!
这是他们的使命
As they should!
想象一下吧 只是想象 诸位
Just imag-- a thought.A thought, everybody.
如果每个人都有了充足的食物来源 会发生什么
What would happen if everybody had enough food?
呃 我们都有吃的了啊
Uh, we would all have something to eat.
不对 呃 也许是吧
No! Well, yes, probably.
但是然后呢
But then what?
懒惰
Laziness.
懈怠
Sloth.
很快 没有人乐意劳动
Soon, nobody would do anything.
总要有人从事那些
There are always people who have to do the jobs
其他人不想做的工作
that nobody else wants to do.
如果天朝人有足够的食物
If the Chinamen had enough to eat,
就不会愿意扎电♥话♥线了 不是吗
he wouldn't want to string the telegraph wires, would he?
听着 我也不喜欢天朝人 但这依然不公平
Look, I don't like Chinamen either, but it's still not fair.
世界上有种东西叫生物链
We have such a thing in this world as order.
强者统治弱者
The strong rule the weak.
如果只有强者 就会产生人口过剩的问题
If there were only strong,overpopulation ensues!
很快就会繁衍出十亿人口
Soon there will be one billion people on this planet.
你们认为我们的星球能够负荷十亿人口吗
Do you think our planet can afford one billion people?
当然不是 这个星球
Of course not! The planet
将会沉入宇宙中 然后炸开来
itself will sink down into space and explode.
我度过了一段愉快的时光
I'm having a great time.
我就是海军准将
I am The Commodore.
- 干杯 干杯 - 来吧 来吧
- Hear, hear. - Hear, hear.
表现得很棒
Well played.
- 啊 - 啊 要我
- Ah! - Ah! Take me!
好的
All right.
我会上你的 我想
I'll take you, I guess--
啊 对 啊 没错
Ah, yeah. Ah! Yeah--
哦 对不起
Oh, sorry.
对不起 你的头发还好吗
Sorry. Is your hair okay?
- 干我 - 好的 好
- Take me! - Okay, yeah, sure.
- 我会的 我会上你 - 给我
- I'll-- I'll-- I'll take you-- - Give it to me!
我马上就上你 不 等一会会儿
I'll take you.Yeah, no, just one second here,
我们马上就做
and we are off to the races--
- 给我那个 - 稍等 稍等
- Give me it! - One second, and-- one second.
- 啊 啊 好 - 稍等一下 好的
- Uh-huh. Yes. - Just one sec-- okay.
哦 不 哦 哦 哦 我们来啦
Oh, no-- oh, oh, oh, oh!Here we go.
- 没错 不 是那儿 等会 - 噢哦
- Yeah-- No. There. One second. - Ow.
糟啦
Oops!
我不小心掉了我的餐叉
I dropped my fork.
哦 不 没关系 加菲猫
Oh, no, that's okay, Garfield.
我想让椅子来捡
I'd like Chair to do it.
你会后悔的
You're going to regret this.
糟糕 我的餐叉也不小心掉了
Oops! I dropped my fork, too.
椅子 别让我再掉东西了
Chair, stop making me drop things!
哦 我想要一个牡蛎 谢谢
Oh, I would like an oyster, please.
嗯
Hmm.
事实上 我改主意了
Actually, I changed my mind.
我不想吃牡蛎了
I don't want an oyster.
哦 我想要
Oh, I do.
当然 现在我在想
Of course,now that I'm thinking about it,
我也许想要个牡蛎
I would like an oyster.
我感觉我得先来一个
I feel like I should have one first.
谢谢你
Thank you.
你能喂我吗
Will you feed it to me?
谢谢你 椅子
Thank you, Chair.
天呐
Oops!
我的餐叉又掉到地上了
I dropped my fork again.
哦 哦 糟糕
Oh. Oh, whoops.
我知道我不该喂小动物的
I know I'm not supposed to feed the animals.
天哪噜
Oops!
肉脸 肉脸 肉脸
Meat Face! Meat Face!Meat Face!
她们会知道惹错小婊砸是多么可怕的事情
They chose the wrong bitch to throw meat at.
我通常不会这样
This doesn't usually happen to me--
不 不 我知道
No, no, I know.
- 是因为我吗 - 不 不是因为你
- Was it because of me? - It wasn't because of you.
我猜是因为你跟我说你自愿跟我啪啪啪才坏了事
I guess it kind of ruined things when you said you were into it.
不是因为我不想让你愿意跟我啪啪啪 但是
Not that I didn't want you to be into it, but--
我只是不想从你口中听到这个事情
I just didn't want you to tell me that you were into it.
这破坏了我的快♥感♥
It ruins it for me.
下次我一定会反抗而且大喊大叫的
Next time I'll be sure to cry and vomit.
- 我要走了 - 我想你该走了
- I'm gonna go-- - I-- I think you should go.
你今晚的表现太耀眼了
You were marvelous this evening.
所以他们喊你海军准将
That's why they call you the Commodore.
- 我是你的男管家 - 我得奖励你
- I'm your butler-- - I must repay you
今晚出色的表现
for your brilliant performance this evening.
我帮你吹♥箫♥
I'm going to blow your bellows.
哦 不 不 不 我拒绝 这种事情太逾矩了
Oh, no, no, no. No, no,I cannot allow such a thing.
不 不 不
No, no. No.
夫人 我不能允许这样的事情发生
Madam, I cannot allow such a proposition.
解开扣子
Unbutton!
这是个命令
That is an order!
如你所愿 夫人
As you wish, Madam.
哦
Ohh!