流金岁月（2015）

男人不可能被强♥暴♥
Men can't be ravished.
当我还在福利机构的时候
When I was at the institution,
那里的员工强♥暴♥了除我以外的所有病人
the staff ravished all the patients except for me.
太伤我自尊了
It really did a number on my self-esteem.
那么你听着 虽然我很享受野餐
Well, see, as much as I enjoy picnicking,
但我不想误导你
I don't want to lead you on.
我不知道你是否适合做我的妻子
I don't know if I can pick you to be my wife.
亲爱的 我才是拥有选择权的那个人
Sweet boy, I'm the one who does the picking.
但你是个女人 我 我才是做出选择的那个人
But you're a woman. I'm-- I'm the one who does the picking,
因为我有
because I have the geni--
哦 你们好
Oh, hello.
你来这儿干什么
What are you doing here?
哦 别管我 我只是想拥有私人的 别出心裁的野餐
Oh, don't mind me. I'm just having my own, different picnic.
也许我不想让你挑选我
Maybe I don't want you to pick me.
我想要成婚的唯一理由是
The only reason I would be getting married
确保家族遗产不落入外人之手
is to ensure our family's legacy
还有 让我母亲别用鞭子抽打我的美臀了
and get mother to stop flogging my bottom with a switch.
如果让我说这一点都不有趣 那就太违心了
Well, I can't say that's not intriguing.
我们去我的房♥间吧
Let's retire to my chambers.
玩的开心吗 席琳
Having fun, Celine?
我想你把我错认为其他人了
I think you've mistaken me for someone else.
我的名字是椅子
My name is Chair.
别废话了 成吗
Cut the crap, hmm?
你知道的 起先我会来到这里
You know,you're the whole reason
完全是因为你
that I'm here in the first place.
在遇到你以前 我是个钢琴演奏者
Before I met you,I was a piano player.
我办过个人黑人说唱团演出（由白人扮成黑人）
I had my own minstrel show.
懒惰的黑人哈米什和他的黑鬼骑士
Lazy Black Hamish and his Negro Knights.
"我确信最梦寐以求的工作叫做睡觉觉"
"I sure does wish job was spelled S-L-E-E-P."
就是这样
Yeah.
我曾被很多妓♥女♥抛弃过
You know, I've been left by a lot of strumpets,
但你是最有种的一个
but you were the only one with big enough balls
你卷走了我所有的钱
to clear out my bank account.
你到底想干嘛
What do you want?
我想知道你来这里的目的是什么
I want to know what the hell you're doing here.
为什么一个高价站街女
Why does a high-priced woman of the night
会放弃她的一切 只为了来这拔鸭毛呢
drop it all just to pluck fowl?
我需要一份工作
I needed a job.
我不能这么做
I can't.
我另有心上人
My heart belongs to another.
我并不想得到你的心
It's not your heart I'm after.
你太咄咄逼人了
You are so forceful.
这样太不淑女了 这是我所不能容忍♥的
That is very unladylike,and I won't stand for it.
你回来这里干什么
What are you doing back there?
你是 哦 我的天
Are you--Oh, my!
这种感觉太陌生了
That is an unfamiliar sensation.
你喜欢吗
Do you enjoy it?
尽管理智告诉我不应该
I feel as though I shouldn't,
但我确实很享受
but I-I do.
人的身体有很多敏感区域
The body has many pleasure centers.
你只需找到它们在哪里
You just have to know where to look.
- 等会儿 - 如果我现在就要呢
- Later. - What if I did?
- 如果我就做了呢 - 待会儿
- What if I did? - Later.
鸡肉鞑靼
Chicken tartare?
哦 没错
Oh, yes.
我的天 你看起来好像被强♥暴♥过一样
My dear boy, you look as though you've been ravished.
事实上 先生们 我的确是被强♥暴♥了
Well, in fact, sirs,I have been ravished.
哦 我真心喜欢这种黄暴笑话 难道你不喜欢吗
Oh, I do love a good ravishing joke, don't you?
你不觉得它们有些令人不快吗
Don't you find them a bit distasteful, though?
有的人觉得强♥暴♥
Some people feel that ravishing
并不是一个能轻描淡写一笔带过的话题
is not a topic that should be made light of.
哦 我不属于这种人
Oh, not me.
你听过那个老掉牙的笑话吗
Do you know that old chestnut--
为什么你朋友里最丑的那个
Why is it always your ugliest friend
永远最担心自己被人强♥暴♥
who's the most afraid of being ravished?
太好笑了 你是对的 你说得对
That is amusing. You're right.You're right.
- 并不是指你 - 并不是
- There is no line. - There's no line.
过来 过来 步履轻快点 小伙子
Come on. Come on,step lively, boy.
尊敬的阁下 请同意我的离婚请求
Dear Lord, please let me get a divorce.
尽管我无数次的幻想着把维克多
Although I have dreamed of strangling the life
勒到断气 或者让他被火车撞死
out of Victor's body or having him get hit by a train
或者溺死在自己喝完白兰地吐的一滩呕吐物里
or drowning in a bath of his own brandy vomit,
我想让他因为殴打罪被逮捕 这样仁慈些
I think it's kinder to have him arrested for battery.
很抱歉 但维克多 你马上要进监狱待着了
Sorry about this, Victor,but you're going to jail.
然后他就打了我
And that's when he hit me.
为您受到的伤害感到难过 夫人
I'm so sorry for your pain, ma'am.
只要你告诉我们是哪个黑鬼干的
Ay, you'll tell us who the black fella was who did this,
我们立马就把他丢进监狱
and we'll throw him in the pokey right quick.
哦 不 是 是我的丈夫
Oh, no,it-- it was my husband.
呃 那就是另一回事了
Well, that's another matter entirely.
结案了
Case closed.
给我听好 我的丈夫对我施行家暴
I'm telling you,I was abused by my husband
只有离婚才能解决这件事
in a manner that only a divorce would settle.
那么 让我问你些事情 亲爱的
Well, let me ask you something, dear.
你是个小贱♥人♥吗
Are you a bitch?
什么
What?
让我们换种方式来表达
Let's go about this in a different manner.
在这件事发生的同时 你的大姨妈来看你了吗
Were you menstruating at the time of the incident?
你去了红河吗
Were you riding the red river?
你是不是去了覆盆子灌木丛了
And do you have a raspberry bush?
你怎么敢这么说 我遭受了非人的虐待
How dare you?I was very abused!
在我看来 你是自己撞到门上成了熊猫眼的
Looks to me like you walked into a door.
你的言外之意太过离谱了
Well, that's an outrageous implication!
这是由于你们这种怀着恶意的假设
And precisely the sort of assumption
才会使女人们即使遭受了家暴
that makes women feel unsafe to report their abuse
也不敢第一时间将情况报告给警方
to the police in the first place!
经验法则（也有拇指法则之意）明确告诉我们
Well, the rule of thumb clearly states
一个男人可以用任何不厚于
that a man can discipline his wife
他拇指的物体来惩戒他的妻子
with anything no thicker than his own thumb.
这是我有生以来听过的最愚蠢的规定
Well, that's the dumbest rule I've ever heard of!
我亲爱的 这就是你丈夫打你的原因
And that, my dear, is why your husband hits you.
如果你是我的妻子 我会让你撞上一些柔软点的地方
If you were my wife, I'd smack some softness into you.
而我会打你 让你身高变高些
And I'd have hit ya to be a bit taller.
或者让你胸部变大些 既然我们已经解决了这件事
Perhaps some larger bosoms.Now that we've settled that,
甜心 你介意离开一下
would you mind running along,sweetheart,
去给我们取杯茶来吗
fetch us a spot of tea?
也许还能带我们四处参观一下
And perhaps a tour of the premises.
我们听说百乐园里有座纯糖果打造的屋子
We hear there's a room made entirely of candy.
私通和家暴看起来是没戏了
Well, infidelity and abuse were a bust.
我猜如果我真的想离婚的话 我就不得不杀了维克多
I guess I'm going to have to kill Victor if I want a divorce.
# 现在 现在 现在 #
now, now, now
# 属于我 属于我 #
it's mine, it's mine
不 不 不 不 不 不 不
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
碧翠丝 你在干什么
Beatrice, what are you doing?
我正准备去砍下猫咪的脑袋
I'm off to behead Pussy.
你说我是用伐木斧好呢 还是谋杀短柄斧好
Should I use my logging axe or my murder hatchet?
父亲拒绝再包庇另一宗谋杀案
Father refuses to cover up another murder.
我们不能再在伯纳德修道院待一个周末
We can't have another Weekend at Bernard's!
你从来不允许我做我想做的事情
You never let me do anything I want!
我有个更好的主意 我们别杀猫咪了
I have a better plan.Let's not kill Pussy.
- 我们把我们的丈夫杀了吧 - 但我挺喜欢艾伯特的
- Let's kill our husbands. - But I like Albert.
他是唯一能给我做蓬松刘海的人
He's the only one who can make my bangs fluffy.
不 我说的不是真的杀死他们
No, not kill them kill them.
我们让他们消失一段足够长的时间
Let's just have them disappear for long enough
直到他们被宣告死亡 这样我们就能想嫁谁就嫁谁了
to be declared dead, and then we can marry whoever we want.
等等 这意味着我能嫁给弗雷德里克啦
Wait. Does that mean I can marry Frederick?
我很确定就是这样
I'm sure that's what it means.
所有人都围拢过来 聚集过来 动作快点
Everybody gather round.Gather round, quickly now.
我听说了一些令人痛心的流言
I've heard some very distressing rumors.
你们这些仆人中 有谁被强♥暴♥了
Which among the staff has been ravished?