流金岁月（2015）

她昏头昏脑的
and she lost, so.
你怎么敢这么粗暴地对待我
How dare you treat me so roughly?
- 这是怎么回事 - 绑♥架♥你啊
- What the hell was that? - An abduction.
不然你以为绑♥架♥是什么样的
What do you think a kidnapping is, huh?
一次短暂的休假 且随之而来的是国际上广泛的赞誉
A short sabbatical followed by international acclaim.
我是前巴伐利亚州（前联邦德国州名）地位仅次于前女公爵的人
I'm the former Under-Duchess to former Lower Bavaria!
你现在是我泥地面上的女公爵
Well, you're the current duchess of my dirt floor.
现在 您想来些茶吗 夫人
Now, would you care for some tea, Madam?
终于有小服务提供了
Finally, a little service around here.
我不小心把水撒了
I spilled.
打扫干净 蠢猪
Clean it up, piggy.
然后当你开始清理的时候
And while you're at it...
顺手把这边也弄弄
clean that up too.
如果你觉得我会靠近那个
If you think I'm going anywhere
你称为阴♥茎♥的化脓生疖
near that festering mass
的团状物 你就大错特错了
of boils you call your penis,you're wrong.
你怎么知道化脓了
How do you know that they're festering?
你一直在想我的大鸡鸡吗
You been thinking about them?
哦 等着我家人看到我写的赎金勒索信吧
Oh, you just you wait until my family finds my ransom note!
你会后悔的 啊
You'll be sorry!Ah!
我会割断你的脖子 小公举
I'll slit your throat, princess.
也许我对她有些苛待了
Maybe I was being a little rough on her,
不过嘛 是她自己要求体验要真实些的
but, hey, she said she wanted it to seem real.
还有 现在回想起来
And also, in retrospect,
可能我不该把滚烫的开水倒在我的丁丁上
I probably shouldn't have poured boiling water on my genitals.
马克·吐温先生
Mr. Mark Twain.
杜杜 能再次见到你真是太荣幸了
Dodo! What a pleasure to see you again.
上一次见到你 还是在你女婿的假葬礼上
Last I saw you,I had the sour-mash shits
喝了那泛酸的破酒
at your daughter's husband's fake funeral.
事实证明 那是件糟糕的事
Nasty affair that turned out to be.
你指的是葬礼还是那破酒
The funeral or the shits?
这是我的丈夫 海军准将
This is my husband,The Commodore.
哦 布兰奇
Oh, Blanche,
我想你可能是我拥有过的最好的朋友了
I think you might be the best friend I've ever had.
除了我的床床 大卫以外 不过他更像我的家人
Except for my bed, David,but he's more like family.
过去的半小时对我来说简直棒呆了
Well, the last 30 minutes have been really amazing for me too.
- 我能告诉你一个秘密吗 - 说吧
- Can I tell you a secret? - Yes.
我们有过一个仆人 她的名字叫安娜
We had this servant.Her name was Anna.
那是我姐姐 的名字
That's my sister--'s name.
哦 有趣
Oh! Funny.
安娜逃走了
Well, Anna ran away.
只有她没逃走
Only she didn't run away.
她在一个箱子里 就在我床底
She's in a box, under my bed.
至少 我是这么认为的
At least, I think she is.
我有好一阵子没检查过了
I haven't checked in a while.
哦 啊
Oh! Uh--
每个人都需要有些小嗜好
everyone needs hobbies.
加菲猫 让布兰奇去给我的朋友拿个三明治
Garfield, have Blanche fetch my friend a sandwich.
哦 但是碧翠丝小姐 这就是布兰奇啊
Oh, but Lady Beatrice,this is Blanche.
我刚说的是布兰奇
I just said Blanche.
你太笨了
You're so stupid!
看到没 有时候你必须对他们恶劣点
See, sometimes you have to be mean to them.
这样他们才会有更好的表现 哦 试下呗
They respond better that way.Ooh, try it!
呃 我不确定我能否做到
Well, I'm not sure that I can do that.
你可以的
You can do it.
加菲猫
Garfield.
什么
Mm-hmm?
你看起来像有佝偻症
You look like you have rickets.
哦 你怎么知道的啊
Oh. How did you know?
不是这样 加菲猫
Not like that! Garfield.
我在 小姐
Yes, ma'am?
你被解雇了
You're fired.
我什么
I'm a what?
- 你被解雇了 - 我被解雇了
- You're fired. - I'm fired?
我 这是我人生中最糟糕的一天
I-- This is the worst day of my life!
哦 天呐
Oh, God!
我不能被解雇
I can't be fired!
我只是在开玩笑 你没被炒鱿鱼
I'm just kidding.You're not fired.
哦 很好
Oh, very good.
我特爱看他们眼里的希望之光熄灭
I love to watch the light go out in their eyes.
哦 你让我好一阵紧张
Oh, you got me good--
但你得给她拿三明治去
But get her that sandwich.
好的 我这就去
Yes, right away.
我等会儿让你看看安娜
I'll have to show you Anna later.
好的
Yes, please.
好的
Yes.
这才是乖小猪
That's a good little piggy.
清理干净
Clean it up.
知道吗
You know what?
给我做顿晚饭
Cook me dinner.
那是什么
What's that?
是个土豆
It's a potato.
你把银盘放哪里
Where's the silver tray?
还有黄油白沙司在哪儿
Where's the beurre blanc?
拿去煮就行
Just cook it.
别用你的手
Not with your hands.
用牙
Teeth.
首先 让我们以饮尽苦艾酒作为开场
Now, let us begin with an absinthe toast!
举杯致意
Raise your glasses.
嗯
Mmm.
一滴都不许剩 准将
Drink up, Commodore!
请允许我向你们介绍今天的贵客
Allow me to introduce today's guests.
披头散发的苏联马♥克♥思♥主义先驱 列夫·托洛斯基
The wild-haired superstar of Russian Marxism, Leon Trotsky!
我来这里是为了进一步推动工人阶级的进步事业
I am just here to further the cause of the working class.
我们下一位贵宾是个律师
Our next guest is a lawyer
他让我摆脱了好几起诈骗罪指控
who's gotten me out of many a fraud charge.
圣雄甘地 大家鼓掌欢迎
Mohandas Gandhi, everyone!
我来这儿是为了白人女性
I'm just here for the white women.
你这邪恶的东方小淘气
You wicked Oriental elf.
你在干什么 小伙
What are you doing, man?
你打算让我们用西班牙冻汤勺
Are you attempting to serve a warm bisque
来喝热浓汤吗
with a gazpacho spoon?
你以为这是哪儿 啤酒屋吗
What is this, the beer hall?
海军准将对于 对于镀银餐具这方面要求极其苛刻
The Commodore is a--a stickler for silverware.
我对男管家最基本的礼节
I am a stickler for the barest standards
要求极其苛刻
of propriety from a butler!
为什么布兰奇装得好像自己不是个仆人那样
Why is Blanche acting like she isn't one of us?
我是说 今天肯定是个变身日啊
I mean,it must be switcheroo day.
变身日这种东西根本不存在
There is no switcheroo day.
碧翠丝真是太蠢了 因为布兰奇穿着她的裙子
Beatrice is such an idiot, she can't tell Blanche is a servant,
她就不知道布兰奇是个仆人了
because she's wearing her dress.
但碧翠丝不可能是个傻蛋
But Beatrice can't be an idiot.
她可是住在楼上的主人
She lives upstairs!
听起来你该给你的态度变变身了
Sounds like you need to switcheroo your attitude,
椅子
Chair.
做好打扫的准备了吗 艾琳
Ready to clean, Eileen?
“是的 加菲猫”
"Yes, Garfield!"
别嫉妒 毛巾
Don't get jealous, Towel.
我一直都说
I always say,
“仆人的数量应该足够迎合你每一个心血来潮的念头
"Have enough servants to satisfy your every whim,
但又不会多到足以谋杀你的家人”
but not enough to murder your family."
新颖的观点 夫人
Excellent point, Madam--
妻子 妇人♥妻♥子
wife-- madam wife.
世家只有在闹革命的时候才该被谋杀
Families should only be murdered during revolution.
- 甘地 哥们 你想反驳吗 - 无意冒犯
- Gandhi, boy? A rebuttal? - Well, no offense,
但你的话听起来像是婊♥子♥种姓的人说的
but you sound like you belong to the bitch caste.
我曾在古♥拉♥格♥（集中营）被哥萨克人强♥暴♥过
I was raped in a gulag by Cossacks.
你以为我会在意你这种小儿科的侮辱吗
Do you think your insults mean anything to me?
我不知道古♥拉♥格♥是什么
I don't know what a gulag is,
但我会马上把你送回去
but I will send you right back there!