黑疯婆子的葬礼

泼在你的皮草上
and throw it all over your fur.
你让人在我的皮草上弄点颜料试试
You let somebody put some paint on my fur.
敢弄脏我的小兔子
Paint my rabbit.
不知道为啥我有点性奋
I don't know why that just turned me on.
我好想给你的小兔子上弄点白颜色
But I sure would like to put some paint on your rabbit.
我勒个去
Oh, my God.
你♥他♥妈♥好变♥态♥
You're sick.
咱还会角色扮演
I'll make it hop.
你们够了 车已加满了油哈
Okay! All right, we got the car all gassed up, all right?
-咱们走吧 -孩子
- So, let's go. - Hey, boy.
你♥他♥妈♥的怎么只讲她们
How the hell you gonna talk about them,
她们看上去怎么样 而没讲
how they look, and not say...
你没看到我也坐在这儿吗
You don't see me sitting here?
我看上去怎么样
How do I look?
你看上去就和往常一样
You look like you always look.
没一句好话
Boy, you're a hater.
我看上去很好
I looks good.
爸爸 在我进房♥子以前
Daddy, I smelled you
就闻到你的味道了
before I walked in the house.
不 你没闻到我的味道
No, you didn't smell me.
我来告诉你你闻到了什么
I'mma tell you what you smell.
那边的那个家伙
That dude right there.
我闻起来就像新鲜的浆果味以及
I smell like fresh berries and springtime
有肉桂香的春分时节
with a little sprinkle of cinnamon across the middle section.
我看更像是腊猪臀和烤坚果味
More like old ass and roasted nuts.
我被你们打败了
Okay, all right, all right.
布莱恩 谢谢你能开车送我们去那
Brian, thank you for driving on over there. Thank you for driving.
你知道吗我哪儿都不能开车
You know I can't drive nowhere.
我的驾照不行
My license ain't right.
我一直都告诉你说 我可以帮你
I keep telling you, I can help you with that.
没错 但你也告诉我说我必须上法庭
Yes, but you also told me I would have to go to court.
是的 玛蒂亚 你有罚单
Yeah, Madea, you got tickets
传票 牌照
and warrants and license and everything.
法♥院♥拘票 该有的都有了
Bench warrants, all the stuff.
是的 你必须去法庭
Yeah, you have to go to court.
我不去法庭的好吧
I don't go to court, okay?
法庭强迫我去的
I'm dragged to court.
怎么可能法官让我去法庭我就去呢
I don't just go to court 'cause the judge said to go to court.
我是个恶棍啊
I'm a thug, hell.
这些年轻的小孩根本不知道什么是恶棍
These new kids don't know nothing about being no thug.
我是真的恶棍 黑 疯 婆 子
I'm a real thug. I'm a O-G M-A-D-E-A.
42年来你妈妈试着带我去法庭
Your mama try and take me to court for 42 years,
我态度坚定 不去法庭
I was like, "I ain't going to no court."
不给抚养费
No child support.
改了我的地址
Changed my address.
我一直用的是你的社保号♥
I was using your social security number.
所以她找不到我
That's why she couldn't find me.
每次他们试着追踪并找我在哪时
Every time they tried to track and find out where I was,
都会找去你家
went right back to your house.
真抱歉我降低了你的征信
I'm sorry I jacked up your credit.
劳驾各位 可以走了吗
Can we go, please?
小子 我们要开多久
Look here, young blood, how long this drive?
大约三个小时
About three hours.
我希望中途有厕所
I hope there's a bathroom on the way
因为我可能要撒尿 就一点点
'cause I may have to tinkle. Just a little drop-drop.
就一次 或许两次
Just a drop-drop. Maybe two.
跟我想的一样 大小孩们
Just what I thought, kids.
好了 我们走吧
Okay, come on, let's go.
走吧 我们走吧 坐车去
Come on, y'all. Let's go. Get in the car.
-快起来 -走吧
- Let's get on up here. - Come on.
走吧 你们大家 动起来
Come on. Come on, y'all, come on.
-我们来了 梅布尔 -好 海蒂
- Here we come, Mabel. - Come on, Hattie.
我们准备出发了
We getting ready to go. Gotta go on the road.
我们最好先去下厕所
We'd better go to the bathroom first.
你瞧他们
Aw, look at them.
爱意缠绵啊
They are so in love.
是啊 这就是执子之手啊
Look, they're still holding hands.
你们在说谁啊
Who?
爸妈啊
Mama and Daddy.
什么情况 他们怎么过来了
What? Wait, they are not supposed to be here.
啥意思 哦 对啊
Wait, what? Oh, that's right.
我的天
Oh, my God.
嗨
Hi.
妈 你们不应该在这啊
Mama, y'all are not supposed to be here.
还有爸 你也是
And neither are you, Daddy.
我和她说了啊
I told her.
你们快走吧
Y'all gotta go.
好吧
Fine.
我可以去教堂帮忙
I can do some work at the church.
是啊 我可以去买♥♥点东西
Yeah. And I can do some shopping.
你是不是忘了和妈的结婚纪念日了
You forgot you and Mama's anniversary, didn't you?
-没有 我没忘 -不 你忘了
- No, I did not. - Yes, you did.
你最好庆幸那个商场还开着
Oh. You better be glad that mall is still open.
别这样嘛
Oh, come on.
对了 7点之前别回来哦
And don't come back till 7:00.
我没给你安排点什么你就知足吧
Be glad I didn't put you on no schedule.
-这可真几把远啊 -是啊
- This is a long-ass way. - Oh, yeah.
确实
Yes, it is.
你能不能不要说 真几把远
Could you please stop saying "long-ass way"?
每次你说 真几把远
Whenever you say "long-ass way,"
我就又想上厕所了
it makes me have to go again.
我求你了别再停车了
I wish to hell you wouldn't have to stop one more time.
每五分钟我就要停下来
I've been stopping every five minutes,
因为你要上厕所
talkin' 'bout you have to go to the bathroom.
我们已经停了9次了
We've done stopped nine times.
布莱恩 我们走了多远了
Brian, how far we done went?
9英里
Nine miles.
你每走一英里就要停下来尿尿
You stop to piss at every mile.
你知道 我憋不住啊
Well, you know I can't help it.
好吧 我建议你最好穿上这个
Well, I suspect we better get you one of these here.
呃 这是啥呀
Ugh. What is that?
她拿了个他妈的尿不湿呀
That girl done pull out a damn diaper.
要不是布莱恩开的这么慢的话
And I wouldn't have to go so much
我也不会上那么多次厕所
if Brian wasn't driving so slow.
好吧 快点开
Right, speed up here.
我在限速开啊
I am doing the speed limit.
这叫遵纪守法
It's called obeying the law!
他天天限速开 老混♥蛋♥
He always drive the speed limit, old bitch ass.
咱给你加加速
Oh, I'll get you to speed up.
-搞毛呢 -乔
- Hey! - Joe!
-我去 -玛蒂亚 别那么做
- Damn! - Madea, don't do that.
在这加速
Speed up here.
有条子 把所有东西都扔出窗外
That's the po-po. Hey, throw all the stuff out the window.
把它给我 乔 我又没犯法
Give it to me, Joe. Hell, I'm legal.
好的 贝蒂 拿着我的
Okay, Betty, hold mine.
是仅有1根 还是30根哟
It's just one blunt. Or 30.
别告诉我你在我车上带了大♥麻♥
Please don't tell me you have marijuana in this car.
我是合法持有 咱有处方
I'm legal. That's why I got a prescription.
等等 让我补补妆
Hold on, let me fix my makeup.
补妆干嘛
For what?
和警♥察♥调情啊
I'mma flirt with him.
你要勾引警♥察♥吗
You gonna flirt? Hell,
你是想把我们都送进监狱吧
you finna send all of us to jail.
你♥他♥妈♥在干什么
What the hell is you doing?
-我在停车 -不
- I'm pulling over. - No!
停啥车 你♥他♥妈♥啥意思
Pulling over? What the hell you mean
你停车要干嘛
You pulling over for what?
-因为警♥察♥吗 -你疯了吗
- The police? - Are you insane?
看见红灯了
If you see red lights,
才要停车好吧
that means stop, okay?