黑疯婆子的葬礼

Yes, we're very satisfied. He looks fine.
但是他不满
But he ain't.
没错 他还没满足呢
No, he's not satisfied.
他妈
Mother...
我们很抱歉
We're sorry.
很明显 他生前在吃什么兴♥奋♥剂♥
Apparently, he was taking some sort of stimulant.
我们遇到一些麻烦
We're having some trouble
想让那玩意儿
keeping the thing... It...
萎下去
Down.
啥玩意儿啊 你在说什么
What is "it"? What you talking about?
-棺材盖在动还是 -嗯哼
- The lid on the casket or... - Mmm. Mmm-hmm.
在动
Move.
它还一柱擎天
It's still up.
嗯哼
Mmm.
那玩意儿还能行
And it's still working?
很可能这就是害死他的原因
It's probably what killed him.
等会儿 这个东西关不上了吗
Wait a minute. This thing won't close?
好像一个弹球机
It's like a pinball machine!
好了 试着用绳子什么的绑起来
Okay, just try to tape it down or something,
因为我们可不希望这东西一直开着
'cause we don't want this thing opening like a...
砰砰
Popping...
砰砰
Popping...
别在葬礼上像现在这样响好么
Popping up like that in the funeral. Okay?
你能做什么
What can you do?
如果你愿意的话 我们能把它弄掉
We could remove it, if you like.
你是说
You mean...
哦不 我们可不想你这么做
Oh, no. We ain't finna let you do that.
我们不能像洛蕾娜·博比特一样对他
No, we ain't gonna Lorena Bobbitt him none.
上天堂时候没那玩意儿 似乎不太对劲
That don't seem right. Going into heaven without your stuff.
你好
Hey.
嗯
Hey.
你没事吧 兄弟
You good, man?
我回家后应该就没事了
I will, once I get home.
好吧
Yeah.
我知道这一切对你来说很艰难
I know this is hard for you.
不 对我来说最难的是卡罗尔
No, what's hard for me is Carol.
我想和你谈谈这个
I wanted to talk to you about that.
怎么 她让你来和我谈的吗
What? She sent you down here to talk to me?
不是 西尔维娅让我来的
No. Sylvia did.
啥意思
What?
她想让我和你谈谈吉娅
She wanted me to talk to you about Gia.
吉娅怎么了
What about Gia?
那里有什么事发生吗
Anything going on there?
拜托 你说什么
Come on, what?
她看到你进了吉娅房♥间 然后
She saw you in her room, and...
拜托老兄 放过这件事吧
Oh, man, go on with that.
你确定
You sure?
确定 别再问我了
Yeah, don't ask me that.
好的
Okay.
那建议你去好好洗个澡
Then you might wanna start showering more,
因为你闻起来就像她一样
because you smell like her.
她主动抱得我
She hugged me.
你们想干嘛
Y'all serious?
-那可是我哥哥的女朋友 -是未婚妻
- That's my brother's girlfriend. - Fiancee.
对 是那样
Yeah, that, too.
听着
Look...
你去做你该做的事情
Y'all just go in there, do y'all thing, man.
西尔维娅瞎说罢了
Sylvia's just tripping.
如果你不介意
Now, if you don't mind...
我还得帮我妈安顿葬礼
I have to figure out how to help my mama with this funeral, all right?
好吧
Okay.
你还好吗
You okay?
他表现的像是讨厌我
He acts like he hates me.
我很遗憾
I'm sorry.
我只是想知道真♥相♥
I just wanna know the truth.
听着
Look...
我们的父亲才骤然离世
Our dad did just die suddenly.
在父亲去世前几个月就已经这样了
This has been going on for months before he died.
我不明白
I don't get it.
坚持下去 好吗
Just keep it together. Okay?
你会没事的
You'll be fine.
♪下到河边♪
♪ Down by the riverside ♪
♪下到河边♪
♪ Down by the riverside ♪
-♪下到河边♪ -♪在河边♪
-♪ Down by the riverside ♪ - ♪ By the riverside ♪
-♪下到河边♪ -♪下到河边♪
- ♪ Down by the riverside ♪ - ♪ Down by the riverside ♪
嘘
Shh!
我觉得你该安静点
I think you might wanna be quiet.
把电源关掉 把电源关掉
Turn your battery off, son. Turn your battery off.
♪研究战争不再♪
♪ Study war no more ♪
好了好了 谢谢你们谢谢你们
All right, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
♪学习♪
♪ Study ♪
谢谢你们
Thank you.
我希望那个人坐下
I wish that dude would sit down.
♪研究♪
♪ Study ♪
他们在刺♥激♥我的神经
They're working on my nerves.
你看到这个章程要多久了吗
Do you see how long this program is?
♪研究♪
♪ Study ♪
希思罗我们得在这呆一晚上了
We finna be up in here all night, Heathrow.
-我怎么能让他们停下来 -打断他们
- How I get them to stop? - Cut them off.
♪战争 不再有战争♪
♪ War ♪ No war! ♪
他们还要说多少遍战争
How many times they gonna say "war"?
因为我在不断地回想起参加的战争
Because I'm having flashbacks of being in the war.
♪战争 战争♪
♪ War! War! ♪
停下 嘿 停下 谢谢
That's it, hey. Hey, hey. Hey, thank you.
坐好 谢谢你们
Sit down. Thank you.
他们让我来做牧师
Uh, they asked me to be the minister of service.
她已经好些年没来教堂了
She ain't been to church in years.
首先 纪念一下我喜欢的
First, give an honor to Popeyes
佰百鸡和所有其他的鸡
and, um, all the chicken that I like.
阿门
Amen.
阿门
Amen.
我想说 在这个共聚一堂的场合
I wanna say, thank y'all so much
谢谢你们
for having me here as your mistress of service
让我作为牧师站在这里
as we come for this conspicuous occasion.
谁来读讣告
Who gonna read the obituary?
爸爸 嘘
Daddy. Shh.
我想让你们知道这是我们要走的章程
I want you to know this is our program.
它真的很厚
It's really thick.
非常厚
Really thick.
这还要多久
How long is this service gonna be?
所以我希望每个上来的人
So we want everybody to be limited
限制在二分钟以内
who come up here to two minutes.
请限制在二分钟
Two minutes, please.
别长篇大论就像
Don't sing long as...
他们刚才做的一样
heaven like they just did. Please.
首先 对安东尼还有他的家人
First, I would like to start off
我想用这种方式来开头
with this for Anthony and for the family.
我只是在表演
No, I'm just playing.
这不是葬礼章程里的内容
That ain't in the program for this funeral. Okay.
玛蒂亚我想说几句
Madea, I wanna say something.
希思罗
Heathrow.
他们听不到我 我觉得是我音量不够大
They can't hear me. I guess it's not loud enough.
那个东西没法调大
That thing don't go up.
只有一个音量
It's all one volume.
我太失望了
I'm so disappointed.
为什么
Why, baby, why?
好了
Okay.
因为他的腿不像以前那么性感那么好使了
'Cause his legs ain't fine and sexy like they used to be.
首先 将由
First, we gonna have...
嘘 嘘
Hush, Hattie.
我们的牧师来朗读