布偶秀50周年特别节目（2026）

[♪ classical music playing]
[electricity buzzes]
[♪ piano playing]
[snoring]
（科米）
-[chair creaks] -Mmm.
[breathes heavily] Mmm. Hmm.
什么事？
Oh. -What?
罗夫？ -什么事？
Rowlf? -What?
你这段时间都在弹琴吗？
Have you been playing this whole time?
你以为是什么？
Well, what did you think it was?
你脑海中的怀旧集锦吗？
Some kinda sentimental montage in your head?
我们又要表演了，青蛙
[mutters] -We're doing the show again, frog.
对哦
[gasps] Oh, that's right. Uh…
斯库特，时候到了
Scooter, it's time.
没问题，老大
You got it, boss.
莎宾娜卡本特，30秒后开演，卡本特小姐
Sabrina Carpenter. Thirty seconds to curtain, Ms. Carpenter.
卡本特小姐？
Ms. Carpenter?
谢谢你，斯库特
Thank you, Scooter.
天啊，是你，我好爱你的衣服
Oh, my God. It's you. I love your outfit. [chuckles]
我也是，你得换衣服
So do I. You're gonna have to change.
是，女士
Yes, ma'am.
那是我的假发吗？
Is that my wig?
我不戴假发的，这是我的真发
I don't wear wigs. This is my real hair.
我也一样
Oh. Yeah. Same.
不，我…我知道 -不，我知道你知道
No, I… And I know that. -No, I know you know.
很好 -好
Great. -Okay.
[trumpet blares]
《大青蛙布偶秀：特别场》
欢迎观赏《大青蛙布偶秀：特别场》 特别嘉宾是莎宾娜卡本特
It's The Muppet Show with our very special guest star, Sabrina Carpenter. [cheers]
[audience cheers]
[♪ "The Muppet Show Theme Song" playing]
该演奏音乐，该点亮灯光
♪ It's time to play the music It's time to light the lights ♪
该见见今晚登场的布偶了
♪ It's time to meet the Muppets On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
该化好妆容，该好好打扮
♪ It's time to put on makeup It's time to dress up right ♪
该揭开今晚《大青蛙布偶秀》的序幕了
♪ It's time to raise the curtain On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
我们干嘛老是来这里？
♪ Why do we always come here? ♪
这个问题大概永远无解
♪ I guess we'll never know ♪
被迫看这场秀
♪ It's like a kind of torture ♪
有点像酷刑
♪To have to watch the show ♪
[music continues]
但现在让我们开演吧
♪ But now let's get things started ♪
你们快开演吧
♪ Why don't you get things started? ♪
该开演了
♪ It's time to get things started ♪
最令人惊叹、鼓舞人心 欢欣喜悦、布偶天成
♪ On the most sensational, inspirational Celebrational, Muppetational ♪
这就是我们的《大青蛙布偶秀》
♪ This is what we call The Muppet Show ♪
[trumpet screeches]
[audience laughs]
[screams]
[audience cheering]
谢谢…谢谢
Thank you. Thank you. [mutters] Uh, thank you. [chuckles]
大家好，欢迎观赏《大青蛙布偶秀》
Hi-ho, and welcome to The Muppet Show, everybody.
[audience cheering]
我们很高兴能回到这个舞台 一切就是从这里开始
You know, we are so excited to be back on the very stage where it all started,
然后结束，然后
and then ended, and then,
可能会再次开始，看今晚表现如何啰
is maybe starting again depending on how tonight goes.
他们居然要重演老戏码
Hmph. I can't believe they're doing the old show again.
好好的何必改
Well, if it ain't broke.
不，他们是好穷，所以才会来表演
No, they are broke. That's why they're doing it.
-[laughs] -[audience laughs]
好，为我们开场的是
Okay. Now to kick us off,
我们的特别来宾
it's our very special guest,
轰动乐坛的创作歌♥手，世界级的巨星
a sensational singer-songwriter and global superstar,
独一无二的莎宾娜卡本特
the one and only, Sabrina Carpenter. Yay! -[audience cheers]
[laughing, clamoring]
安静点，一群混混
Ugh. Quiet. [groans] Hooligans.
快点，丢他
Do it. Do it. Toss. [laughs]
[yelps, grunts]
[laughing]
住手，否则赶你们出去
Stop, or you'll be removed.
别担心，山姆，交给我
Don't worry, Sam. I got it.
[♪ "Manchild" playing]
[laughing]
你说手♥机♥坏了，其实是忘了充电
♪ You said your phone was broken Just forgot to charge it ♪
你这身行头，天啊，希望你是在搞笑
♪ Whole outfit you're wearing God, I hope it's ironic ♪
你刚说你完事了？ 我都不知道我们开始了
♪ Did you just say you're finished? Didn't know we started ♪
这一切都太熟悉了，宝贝，是什么来着？
♪ It's all just so familiar, baby What do you call it? ♪
愚蠢 -咕咕
♪ Stupid ♪ -♪ Cluck-cluck ♪
还是迟钝？ -咕
♪ Or is it slow? ♪ -♪ Cluck ♪
也许是没用？ -咕咕
♪ Maybe it's useless? ♪ -♪ Cluck-cluck ♪
但有个更可爱的词
♪ But there's a cuter word for it ♪
咕？ -我知道
♪ Cluck? ♪ -♪ I know ♪
巨婴男
♪ Manchild ♪ -[chickens vocalizing]
你为什么总是跑来找我？
♪ Why you always come a-running to me? ♪
我还要过活
♪ It's my life ♪
饶了这个无辜的女人吧
♪ Won't you let an innocent woman be ♪
从没听过“自我照顾”
♪ Never heard of self-care ♪
[yells]
你的脑容量只有一半
♪ Half your brain just ain't there ♪
Whoa.
巨婴男
♪ Manchild ♪ -[exclaiming]
你为什么总是跑来找我？打消我所有的
♪ Why you always come a-running Taking all my ♪
我喜欢男生搞点欲擒故纵
♪ Oh, I like my boys playing hard to get ♪
也喜欢男人软弱无能
♪ And I like my men all incompetent ♪
我发誓是他们选了我，不是我选了他们
♪ And I swear they choose me I'm not choosing them ♪
阿们，男人们 -咕咕
♪ Amen, hey, men ♪ -♪ Cluck-cluck ♪
巨婴男
♪ Manchild ♪ -[laughing]
你为什么总是跑来找我？
♪ Why you always come a-running to me? ♪
[vocalizing]
我还要过活
[Carpenter] ♪ It's my life ♪
饶了这个无辜的女人吧
♪ Won't you let an innocent woman be? Oh ♪
我喜欢男生搞点欲擒故纵
[singers] ♪ And I like my boys Playing hard to get ♪
也喜欢男人软弱无能
♪ And I like my men all incompetent ♪
[laughs]
[clucking]
阿们，男人们
♪ Amen, hey, men ♪
-[shrieks] -[audience laughs]
-[clucking] -[audience cheering]
真厉害
Great talent! -Whoo-hoo!
我喜欢，再来 -对，太棒了
Love it! More! More! -[chuckles] Yes, it's great.
好令人兴奋的开场，科米叔叔
Wow, what an exciting opening, Uncle Kermit.
做得好，鸡群，风扇的事真的很抱歉
Great job, Chickens. Again, I'm sorry about the fan.
我好羞愧
[grunting] -[Sam] I'm mortified.
斯库特，过来 -好
Scooter. Come here, come here, come here. -Uh. Yeah.
后台怎么这么拥挤？
Why is it so crowded back here?
这些都是表演名单上的人，老大
Well, uh, these are all the acts in the show, boss.
你确定我批准那名单了吗？
What? Are you sure I approved all of that?
还有更多呢
And more.
[whistle blows]
我们快走，该上台了
[Muppet 1] Let's go already. We gotta get on stage.
记得大家多期待参与我们首场回归秀吗？
Remember how excited everyone was to be on our first show back?
你还一直跟他们说 他们的表演听起来很有趣
And you kept telling them that their acts sounded fun.
斯库特，大家都知道“听起来很有趣”
[scoffs] Scooter, everybody knows that "that sounds fun"
是一种委婉拒绝的方式
is just a polite way of saying no.
对，还蛮隐晦的，老大
Yeah, that feels pretty indirect, boss.
这可能会造成问题
Hmm. -You know, this could be a problem.
好，下一个找我谈的人一定会被删掉
Okay. Well, the next person who talks to me is definitely getting cut.
科米
Mm-hmm. -Oh, Kermie.
[audience laughs]
[humming]
不好意思，艺人要过
Excuse moi, talent walking. -Hmm?
哪里有艺人？
[gasps] Oh. Oh, where's the talent?
我，我就是… -谁？
Me. Me. I'm the t… [sighs] -Who? [grunts]
科米，重回剧院 为人们送上他们真正想看的
Oh, Kermit. Isn't it wonderful being back in the theater again,
是不是很美妙？
giving the people what they truly want?
也就是我
Moi. [chuckles]
祝你好运
[sighs] -Good luck.
斯库特？
Scooter? [stutters]
是啊，猪猪，说起来这场秀…有点长
Yeah. Um, Piggy, uh, you know… [chuckles] …the show is, uh, it's running kinda long,
而且你似乎有两场表演
and, uh, you know, it looks like you're doing two acts.
没错，关于音乐表演
Exactly. Now about the musical number,
当我以爱神造型从巨型贝壳中现身
when I emerge from the giant seashell dressed as Aphrodite,
那三百个跳舞的斯巴达人一定要知道
let's make sure our 300 dancing Spartans know to exit the Trojan horse
冲出特洛伊木马的时机就是我的降B高音
precisely on my [singsongy] high B flat.
对，我只是随口提一下
Right. Uh, just thinking out loud here,
但你认为那些精确的历史考据 会抢你的风头吗？
but, uh, you think maybe all that historical accuracy might upstage you?
[laughing] No.