上班族妈妈

Workin' Moms S03E04

Part 2 March 15, 2020, 6:30 p.m.

我订的星座简报
Oh, that horoscope newsletter I signed up for.
天啊真希望它不是日刊
God, I wish that wasn't daily.
好多啊
Oh, it's just so much!
这这是什么
What? What's this?
天啊我嗑嗨以后真不该再网购了
Oh my God, I've got to stop online shopping when I'm high.
实际上那是我的
That's mine, actually.
注射用的
For this.
我一直在考虑
I've been thinking about it a lot,
我想尝试自己生一个宝宝
and I'm gonna try and have a baby on my own.
我知道对吧
I know, right?
-天啊 -对吧
- I mean, wow! - Right?!
真的好棒
This is really exciting!
如果我有勇气扎自己的话
Well, it might be if I could work up the guts
那确实很棒但是我怕针头
to, uh, stick myself. Needles freak me out.
如果我连给自己注射荷尔蒙都不敢
I mean, how am I supposed to handle childbirth
又怎么敢生孩子呢
if I can't even inject myself with some hormones?
-我知道针头确实可怕极了 -对
- I know, they really are the worst. - Yeah.
吉赛尔都得满房♥子追着我跑
Giselle had to chase me around the house
给我打♥针♥
and pin me down.
所以你想选哪个肚子还是屁♥股♥
So what do you want, gut or butt?
你说什么
Excuse me?
你是想在肚子上扎针
Do you want your needle in the gut
-还是屁♥股♥上 -你不会是要...
- or the butt? - Oh, you wouldn't...
-一... -天啊...
- One... - Oh God... uh...
-二... -你是个好朋友我恨你
- Two... - You are a good friend! I hate you!
三我选屁♥股♥
Three! I'm goin' butt!
很好
That works.
我很喜欢你对郊区市场的见解
I love where your head's at with the suburban market.
是啊听我说
Yeah, well, look,
嬉皮士家庭搬离市中心的同时
hipster families are leaving downtown
也带走了他们的素食主义
and they're taking their veganism with them.
谢谢你们两位的到来
Thank you both for coming in.
在你们走之前我想...
before you guys go, I just wanted to...
我觉得有些事我得跟你们说
I feel the need to share something with you guys.
你们的保姆...
It's just that your nanny...
要...提防着她点儿
just... watch out.
听着不对劲
That's ominous.
不好意思我们雇过她一小段时间
Sorry, she worked for us, briefly,
她偷了我的东西
and, um, she stole something from me.
她偷了东西吗
She stole something?
是的我的...我的笔记本电脑
Yeah, my um... my laptop.
是我奶奶的对我来说很珍贵
It was my grandmother's, and it was very precious to me.
那你肯定很难过
That must've been very upsetting.
是的
It was.
感谢你和我们见面
Well, thank you for meeting with us
我们会很快和你联♥系♥的
and we'll be in touch really shortly.
好的
Yes.
瑞雅我们结束了
Renya, we're done!
-嗨 -她在这儿
- Hi! - There she is!
喜欢你的伙伴吗
Love your bubba?
你觉得她怎么样
How's your bubba?
理想情况下你根本不想起冲突
Ideally, you don't wanna engage at all,
但万不得已的话你也别手软来吧
but if they push you, you bring the pain. Come on!
走开变♥态♥
Get bent, pervert?
什么这算什么问个问题吗
What? What is that, a question?
好你要说什么
Okay, what do you say?
住手否则我爸会把你打跑
Stop or my dad'll beat you off!
揍我爸会把你打爆
Up. My dad will beat you up.
但还是...不行
And still... no.
记住你♥爸♥不是你♥爸♥ 你♥爸♥是名警♥察♥
Remember, your dad is never your dad; he is always a cop.
现在怎么办我是个一无所有的少年
Now what, huh? I'm a teenage boy with nothing to lose
我现在靠近你了
and I'm moving in.
去你的我爸是个警♥察♥
Screw you! My dad's a cop!
好多了好了注意听
Better. Okay, pay attention.
你想让人来救你永远不要喊"强♥奸♥"
you want people to come, you never yell "Rape",
你要喊"着火了"
you always yell "Fire".
-着火了 -什么
- Fire! - What?
-着火了 -我听不见
- FIRE! - I can't hear you!
-着火了 -对了
- FIRE! - Yes!
妈求你了我知道
Mom, please! I know!
避免眼神接触别回应大声呼救
Avoid eye contact, don't respond, yell for help,
然后踢他的裆
and kick him in the d.
是吗你能讲为什么不能做给我看
Yeah? Why are you telling me when you could be showing me, huh?
放开我别这么跟我说话我爸是名警♥察♥
GET AWAY FROM ME! Don't talk to me that way! My dad's a cop!
这才是我女儿
That's my girl.
好了再来一遍
Okay, let's try it again.
踩脚趾踢裆抡肚子
Toes! D! Gut!
撞鼻子踢裆
Nose! D!
踢裆踢裆踢裆
D! D! D!
踢裆踢裆
D! D!
如果你告诉身体你要生育
If you tell your body you're fertile,
身体会相信你
it'll believe you.
我真的开始能意识到
You know, it's really starting to sink in.
我要变成一名单身妈妈了
I'm gonna be a single mom.
你会是一名好妈妈的
You're gonna make a great mom.
-哪怕独自一人吗 -是的
- Even alone? - Yeah.
我一个人时当妈妈更称职
I'm a better mom now that I'm alone.
我在感情中投入了太多迷失自我
I put too much into relationships, lose myself.
我曾经就像别人身边的一条狗
You know I was somebody's dog once?
-什么 -下次再说吧
- What? - That's for another time.
好了
okay.
然后撑起来
And up.
你用针扎我之后现在还在疼
That still hurts from when you stuck me with that needle.
这样吧我们不做了
You know what? Let's scrap this.
无非就是思身住对吧
It's all about that MBN, right?
思想身体住所
Mind, Body, Nest.
你得像调整身体那样
Yeah, you gotta start prepping your home
好好装饰你的住所
the same way you're prepping that bod.
你的...你的育婴室准备得怎么样了
What's your... What's your nursery looking like?
你知道你的孩子今后要住这里对吧
You know you're gonna have a newborn in here, right?
也没那么糟吧
It's not so bad.
婴幼儿日常用品店
真想好好捏捏它呀
Don't you just wanna squeeze this?!
我小时候有个一模一样的
I had one just like it when I was a kid.
别分心小比好吗
Eye on the prize, B. Okay?
我们得关注育婴室最关键的东西
We're thinking big picture nursery items here
比如尿布桶婴儿床摇椅
like diaper genies, cribs, rocking chairs,
之类的东西
that sort of thing.
瞧这个换巾台酷毙了
Look at this changing station! Sick.
我的天这玩意居然要一万四
Oh my God! This is like $2000 dollars.
-不会吧 -你看嘛
- What? - Yeah.
这是用本地木材做的可持续利用的...
Yeah, well, it's made from locally sourced, sustainable...
夹板得了吧
plywood. Come on!
吉赛尔和我在为朗达的到来作准备时
Hey, when G and I were preparing for Rhoda
我们对这方面了解了不少
we figured a few things out, okay?
如果想走北欧风格
If it looks Scandinavian,
要花好多的钱
it's gonna cost you a million bucks.
买♥♥太便宜的几个礼拜就坏了
Too cheap and you're gonna be back for another one in,
还得再买♥♥新的
like, weeks.
你真正需要的是
What you're really looking for is -
叫什么来着叫...
what is that called, it's...
怎么了
Hey, hey, hey. What's wrong?
我真天真竟然觉得一个人能全部搞定
I don't know why I thought I could do this alone.
不不你不是一个人
Oh no, you're not alone.
我就是你当时才不是
Yes, I am. You're not.
你说了这么多那时的事
You know, all your stories
和吉赛尔一起打理房♥子
about making your place nice with Giselle
互相帮助共渡难关
and having someone to help you out with everything,
有所依靠
to carry some of the weight?
我现在就已经心神不宁了
I feel completely underwater
何况孩子都还没出生呢