善地

The Good Place S02E01

Part 6 Dec. 11, 2019, 4:10 p.m.

我让她下台了
I got her off the stage.
塔哈妮
Tahani?
-你没事吧 -没事
- Are you all right? - Yes, fine.
非常好状态极佳呢
Never better. Top of my game, actually.
失陪一下我要走了...
You'll have to excuse me, 'cause I've got to go, so...
瞧这里有些虾啊
Look! I've got some shrimp.
塞满了我工装裤的多个口袋里
In one of my many, many cargo-pants pockets.
怎么不按套路演啊
What the fork is happening?
好了来吧
Okay, here we go.
最近好吗老大
How's it going, boss-man?
没时间闲聊了
Enough chit-chat.
第二场戏都准备就绪了吗
Is everything in place for version two?
是滴我已经面面俱到了
Yup, I've thought of everything.
我不会让你失望
I won't let you down.
我希望你能在今晚的迎新宴上说几句话
I was just hoping that you could say a few words at tonight's welcome party.
介绍一下自己
You know, just to introduce yourself.
却之不恭啊
How can I say no?
真... 小巧啊
So... cozy.
感觉在这小窝里我好巨人呢
I feel like the walls are just hugging me.
不如来点特别的吧珍妮特
How about something special? Janet.
两杯牦牛奶
Two yak's milks, please.
为什么空气突然安静
Why isn't anyone talking?
珍妮特能带我去吧台吗
Janet, could you show me to the bar, please?
迈克尔我能跟你单独聊几句吗
Michael, may I please speak with you privately?
当然了
Sure, sure.
我就是感觉我以前是主角 "正牌埃莉诺"
It just feels like I used to be Real Eleanor,
现在就是个龙套丹妮斯
and now I'm Denise.
丹妮斯不错啊很有深度的一个角色
Denise is a good part, with a... a great backstory.
你在街区里开了一家最好的披萨店
You run the best pizza place in the neighborhood.
你有一只猫这点多酷
You have a cat, and that's cool.
我接这份工作是因为趣味十足别出心裁
I took this job because it seemed fun and different,
而且在第一个版本里
and in the original version,
我可以在感情上虐奇迪千百遍
I got to break Chidi's heart, like, 20 times,
超级爽
and it was great.
他很惨
I mean, he was miserable.
而现在安琪莉可有权折磨他了吗
And now, Angelique gets to torture him?
安琪莉可就是个杂务工
Angelique is a hack.
我甩她几条街
I can act circles around her!
但我无法施展
But I have nothing to do!
我就是"王炸"
I am a Ferrari, okay?
你这不是一把"王炸"憋手里了吗
And you don't keep a Ferrari in the garage.
我听明白了
I hear your concern.
真的我保证
I do. And I promise you,
肯定有你这个披萨大姐出场的机会
there is a great arc coming for Denise the pizza lady
八十年后左右吧
in about 80 years or so.
奇迪将会不小心杀死你家猫
Chidi is going to accidentally kill your cat.
到时你影后爆发的时刻就来了
It's gonna give you a great chance to shine.
能不能给我加点特别的戏啊
Can I just have something that makes me stand out?
比如神秘的过去或是跛脚
A mysterious past, or... a limp!
我想要跛脚
I want a limp.
这里是"善地" 你怎么要...
This is supposed to be the Good Place. Why would...
好吧我懂了
Okay, I... no, I hear you.
这样吧
I'll tell you what.
你想怎么演都随你使劲儿演瘸子吧
Go nuts, all right? Limp your heart out.
你是奇迪吧
Chidi, right?
你跛脚吗
Are you limping?
进展如何
How's it going?
埃莉诺那边不太顺利
We're having some trouble with Eleanor.
她不跟人谈话也不喝酒
She's not engaging in conversation, she's not drinking.
埃莉诺没喝酒吗
Eleanor's not drinking?
她考驾照时还随身带了酒啊
She brought a flask in the car during her driver's test!
好吧我们得继续进行下去
Okay, we need to keep things moving here.
我准备让她演讲一个小时
I'm about to make her talk for an hour.
她最后肯定会出言冒犯别人
She'll definitely end up insulting somebody.
演讲时间到了
Speech time!
我们都是好人对吧
We're all good people, right?
我们生前都尽可能行善了
We all did the right thing whenever we could.
-我觉得我们... -那就给我吧
- If we all just... - Well... give it to me!
塔哈妮你没事吧
Tahani? Are you all right?
我没事非常好
Yes, fine. Never better.
失陪一下我要走了...
You'll have to excuse me, 'cause I've got to go.
你搞什么啊
What the fork, man?
我知道那本书
I know that book.
你这是宅男撩妹的套路吗
Is that some kind of nerd pick-up line?
因为有点被撩到的感觉
Because it's only kind of working.
不是你之前给我看的那张字条
No... the note you showed me before.
这页纸来自一本书叫
All right, this is from a book called
《我们彼此拖欠》
"What We Owe to Each Other."
我以前教这门课
I used to teach it.
我生前是个伦理与道德哲学教授
I was a professor of ethics and moral philosophy.
-厉害了你咋不上天 -我是想帮你呢
- All right, brag much? - No, I'm trying to help you.
抱歉继续
Sorry. Okay.
我从没见过你但我觉得...
I have never seen you before in my life, but I think...
冥冥之中我们彼此相识
somehow, that we know each other.
这台词满满撩妹风啊
That definitely sounded like a pick-up line.
我不是说不感兴趣
And I'm not not interested,
但我们得先搞清楚这件事
but we need to figure this out first.
也没那么糟吧
It's not that bad, right?
有人发酒疯演讲了
I mean, we got a drunken speech.
这不错吧
That's good.
不不好
No. It isn't.
塔哈妮发酒疯了不是埃莉诺
Tahani gave the drunken speech instead of Eleanor.
我们不能基于塔哈妮的演讲而制♥造♥混乱啊
We can't build a chaos sequence out of Tahani's speech,
因为她觉得自己属于"善地"...
because she thinks she belongs here...
傻帽
Ding-dong.
好吧还有补救的机会 -埃莉诺呢
Okay, we can still salvage this. - Where's Eleanor?
她不见了
She's gone.
哪里都看不到她
I can't find her anywhere.
也许她跟奇迪走了呢
Maybe she left with Chidi?
他也不见了
He's gone too.
什么
What?
也许她跟杰森走了呢
Or maybe she left with Jason.
你跟杰森分开了吗怎么会这样
You lost Jason? How is that even possible?
你唯一的任务就是紧贴着那个缺心眼儿啊
You're only job is to stand next to that idiot.
失火了我一时分心了
I got distracted by the fire!
我喜欢火
I love fire.
我最主要的职责就是火烧人类
You know, my main job is to burn people with fire.
大家好
What's up, guys?
你怎么来了
What are you doing here?
你怎么没跟埃莉诺在一起
Why aren't you with Eleanor?
我之前跟她说我又去健身了
I told her I was going to the gym again.
宴会上你怎么能说这种话啊
Why would you say that in the middle of a party?
-你下的指令啊 -我没有啊
- You told me too. - No, I didn't.
你说如果埃莉诺想坦白自己不属于"善地"
You said that if Eleanor tries to confess that she doesn't belong here,
就找个借口避开她
find a reason to avoid her,
比如说 "我要去健身了"
like saying, "I'm going to the gym,"
所以我才一直这么说啊
so that's what I've been saying.
我就是给你举个例子你不懂变通啊
That was a suggestion of the type of thing you could say!
真是...
Don't...
"我要去健身"这话
How many times have you specifically told her
你说了多少遍了
you were going to the gym?
五次
Five.
-不九次 -你个二货
- No, nine. - You dimwit!
拜托
Hey, man!
我之前在"扭断"部干得可开心了
I was perfectly happy in my old job in the twisting department.
人们进来我把他们扭成两半
People came in, and I twist them until they snapped in half,
再去扭断下一个人
and I move on to the next one.
但这份工作太奇怪了
But this job... is weird!
不停讲话没有扭断
It's all talk, no twisting.
如果你不喜欢我的处理方式另请高就吧
So if you don't like the way I do it, get somebody else.