善地

The Good Place S02E05

Part 2 Dec. 11, 2019, 4:14 p.m.

身体的每一个组成分子
and every molecule of my body
都会散落在无尽个炙热的太阳上灼烧
would be placed on the surface of a different sun.
点赞
Sure.
你上司发现你换队友了
So is that what would happen
你就会经历这一切吗
if your boss found out that you defected to our side?
是的
Yeah.
好吧这可能真会发生
Okay, so that might actually happen,
如果真发生了那就没有...
and if it did there would be no more...
迈克尔了
Michael.
你好好想一下
Think about that for a second.
想象你被迫退休了
Imagine being retired.
大家还在这里
Everyone else is here.
而你消失了
But you? Poof.
没了
Gone.
化成一缕烟了
Nothingness.
消失在虚空之中
Inky black void.
不存在了
Done.
好
Okay.
我来想象一下
I'll think about that.
这么说
So...
你是说我会...
you're saying that I would be...
不要啊
No...
我吗
Me?
很好
Okay!
有进展了
Now we're getting somewhere.
大哥你把迈克尔玩坏了
Dude,you broke Michael.
不不这是好事
No, no. This is good.
他正面临"生存危机"呢
He's having an existential crisis.
人们顿悟万法无常空空无大千之时
It's a sort of anguish people go through when they contemplate the
都会经历这番苦痛
silent indifference of our empty universe.
好消息是
Look, the good news is,
如果他能开悟
if he can work through this,
这就是迈向理解人类道德的第一步
it's the first step towards understanding human ethics.
如果他开悟不了呢
And what if he can't?
那他将会永生永世受尽心灵煎熬
Then, he'll be a lifeless shell of misery forever,
我们就全死翘翘了
and we're all doomed.
我马上回来
Okay, I will be right back.
得拿些卡缪[作家哲学家]的书过来
Gotta go grab some Camus.
小迈迈
Hey, buddy.
你怎么样啊
How you doing?
你想吃零食吗
Can I get you a snack?
你吃东西吗我总记不住
Do you eat? I can never remember.
你吃什么呀小宝宝吗
What do you eat? Babies?
你想让我给你拿个胖宝宝过来吗
Do you want me to get you a big fat baby?
什么口味的宝宝
What flavor baby?
"清凉农场"口味怎么样
How about a Cool Ranch baby?
寻找生命的意义就是哲学上的自杀啊
Searching for meaning is philosophical suicide.
了解生命转瞬即逝之后
How does anyone do anything...
哪还有什么力气再去做什么啊
when you understand the fleeting nature of existence?
很简单大哥
It's pretty easy, man.
你从小就明白了死亡的意义
I mean, you learn about death when you're a kid,
没什么大不了
and it's just not that big of a deal.
埃莉诺
Eleanor,
宝贝我有个悲伤的消息
baby, I have some sad news.
你的小狗麦克斯不在了
Your doggie, Max, has passed away.
你知道是什么意思吗
Do you know what that means?
有时候狗的年纪大了
Well, sometimes when a dog is very old,
比如五六岁了
like, five or six or something,
他就会越过彩虹桥
he crosses a long rainbow bridge,
桥的另一边
and at the end of that bridge
是一个树木成荫绿草遍地的美丽农场
is a beautiful farm with lots of grass and trees and,
怎么说呢还有马车啊彩虹啊
I don't know, wagons and a rainbow.
我已经说过"彩虹"了
I already said "rainbow."
重点是
The point is:
麦克斯就在那里
that's where Max is.
我们能去农场看它吗
Can we visit him at the farm?
不能因为农场非常远...
Nope, because it's very far away...
关岛
in...Guam.
在关岛
It's in Guam.
-那至少能... -好了行了我骗你呢
- Can we at least... - Okay, look. I'm lying, okay?
被你识破了你真棒
You caught me. Congratulations.
农场是我瞎编的
The farm is made up.
彩虹桥也是
The bridge is made up.
"关岛"这个地方不存在[其实存在]There's no such place as Guam.
你的狗麦克斯死了被放在一个旅行袋里
Your dog, Max, is dead in a duffel bag under the deck.
它怎么死的
How did he die?
简言之就是我不知道
The short answer is: I don't know.
再加点内容就是
And the slightly longer answer is:
我不知道有时候车里温度可以那么高
I didn't know how hot it gets in cars sometimes.
重点就是别伤心
The point is: don't be sad.
老实说如果你伤心我会很闹心
Honestly, I'll get kind of annoyed if you do get sad
因为我今天过得够折腾了
because it's been a very long day
我同事那个小婊砸卡罗尔
and that bitch Carol from work
因为一件破事跟我没玩没了
was really on my ass about some stupid thing
我都不知道那件破事是啥
that I don't even know what it was.
工作一天下班后
And at the end of that long day,
我还得用我最喜欢的旅行袋
I had to use one of my favorite duffle bags
装一只死狗烦死我了
to do something very gross that I did not like.
你去给妈妈拿瓶白葡萄酒
Now, let's celebrate that dead dog's life
我们来庆祝一下这条狗去世了吧
by bringing Mommy another bottle of white.
我会说我超越了自己
I would say I outdid myself,
但我一直都这么厉害
but I'm always this good.
所以我只是正常发挥而已
So I simply did myself.
一切都如此完美
Everything is perfect.
警报警报需要帮忙
Red alert, red alert. We need help.
迈克尔怎么了
What's wrong with Michael?
我熟悉这表情
I know that look.
他刚吸了一堆打印机碳粉
He just snorted a bunch of printer toner.
大量吸入碳粉大脑会缺氧
小迈听我说你不用担心
Mike, listen to me, you have nothing to worry about.
你还有70%的大脑好用呢
You still have around 70% of your brain left.
不不他这是"哲学吸收过量"了
No, no, this is more like a philosophy overdose.
基本上迈克尔吸了一大碗"无趣味"知识
Basically, Michael just smoked a big bowl of ennui,
他出现"生存危机"了
and now he's having an existential crisis.
所以我们得哄他开心
So, we need to cheer him up.
瞧着餐厅多漂亮啊
Look at how pretty the restaurant is.
塔哈妮真棒吧
Didn't Tahani do a good job?
宴会只是让人暂时忘却一切都将毁灭的幌子
Parties are mere distractions from the relentlessness of entropy.
我们都只是还未开始腐烂的尸体而已
We're all just corpses who haven't yet begun to decay.
是但...
Yeah, but...
有气球哦
balloons!
我们全都得去薇琪举办的生日宴
Okay, we all head over to Vicky's party together.
我们轮流照看迈克尔
We babysit Michael in shifts
以免别人出他精神崩溃了
so that no one sees he's a catatonic blob.
你们也可以留在这里
Or you could just sit tight.
大家很快就会转移宴会地点到这里了
The entire party are going to be heading over here soon.
除非我大错特错了
Unless I am sorely mistaken.
加纳生日快乐
"真熊"制♥作♥坊
我真大错特错了
I was sorely mistaken.
小迈迈不管你此刻什么状态
Okay, bud, whatever is going on right now,
把所有感觉都隐藏到内心深处
just shove your feelings way down deep,
挤出一张笑脸
plaster on a fake smile,
假装我们很开心
and pretend you're having fun. Okay?
就像我以前听别人谈论他们家孩子那样
Just like I used to do when someone started talking about their kids.
欢迎你们啊
Hey, welcome, guys.
真是精心打造的宴会啊
Wow, this is... elaborate.
加纳是动物权益保护者
Gunnar was an animal rights activist.
所以我们生日宴的主题就是"动物"
So the theme of the party is "animals."
如果你想体验一下猎鹰的感觉就去飞行小站吧
Flying station's over there if you want to fly like a falcon.
那边有"海洋球"场把球换成了小动物
And over there we filled a ball pit with puppies.
很有趣
That's fun.