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I wanted to save you.
没事了 老哥
Hey, it's okay, bud.
这个夏天太嗨了 各位
This is the best summer ever, you guys.
迈克尔 我们从未质疑过你
Michael, we never doubted you for a moment.
谢谢你 塔哈妮 但你是骗我的吧
Thank you, Tahani. You're lying, though, right?
是 我强烈质疑你了
Yes, I am. I doubted you very strongly.
但然后我看出暗示了 基克格德 真行啊
But then I figured it out. Kierkegaard, baby!
放手一搏
Leap of faith.
最好翻译成"跃入信仰"
It's better translated as a leap into faith.
你记得我的话啊
You remembered!
有人能跟我解释一下是怎么回事吗
Can somebody please explain what happened,
还有 你们能小点声吗
and--and can you guys just be a tiny bit quieter?
因为我被磁铁拷了一天 一直醉着
Because, I've been drunk on magnets all day,
我能听到全宇宙每一个细微的声音
and--and I can literally hear every sound in the universe.
故事梗概就是 迈克尔暗中向我们发密语
Basically, Michael sent us a code,
我们得破解密语
and we had to crack it.
我破解了第一条线索
I figured out the first clue--
才不是你 明明是我
No, you didn't, I did.
但我当时在场
I was there, though!
布莱克·鲍托斯是个很帅的名字
Blake Bortles is a cool name.
而德里克·鲍托斯这个名字很二
Derek Bortles is a dumb name.
没错
Yes...
德里克·鲍托斯
Derek Bortles is indeed
确实是个很二的名字
a very dumb name.
这是条线索
It's a clue.
迈克尔绝不可能忘记德里克·鲍托斯的名字
There's no way Michael would've forgotten the name Blake Bortles.
你每天念叨无数次
You say it a million times a day.
因为他最厉害
'Cause he's the best.
不 他不厉害 这点连我都知道
No, he's not, and even I know that.
迈克尔是想告诉我们利用德里克
Michael was telling us to use Derek,
珍妮特的德里克 来干点什么
Janet's Derek, for something.
吐槽大会里都是线索
There were clues in the roast.
各位 我们赶紧悄悄溜去火车站
Everybody, quietly but quickly head to the train station,
未免让人起疑 我们分开行动
but let's split up, so we don't draw attention.
你们真是一群猪队友
You guys are the worst conspirators.
迈克尔在吐槽大会上还说了哪些有言外之意的话
Okay, what else did Michael say in the roasts that might be meaningful?
塔哈妮 你记得吗
Tahani, do you remember?
他说我这辈子活得空虚 毫无意义
Well, he said my entire life was pointless and empty.
对 但他有说一些我们不知道的事吗
Yeah, but did he say anything we don't already know?
有什么不太平常的事吗
Anything that stood out?
你们知道塔哈妮这一生最糟心的时刻是什么吗
You know what the worst moment of Tahani's life was?
当她所承办的一次宴会 最后一支歌♥曲响起时
When the last song played at one of her parties,
她会哭着逃跑
and she would run off and cry,
因为她还是没有得到父母的认可
because she still hadn't won her parents' approval.
这点很奇怪
That was odd.
主办人从来都不会在最后一曲时离开
A host never runs off during their last song,
因为宴会结束
because after it's over,
大家会邀你上台 你要假装很惊讶
you're supposed to act surprised when everyone drags you on stage
接受大家的喝彩
and showers you with applause.
也许迈克尔想让我们等这个送别宴结束时
Maybe Michael wanted us to wait until the end of the party,
趁大家都分心了
when everyone was at their most distracted.
利用德里克来开火车
And use Derek to drive the train,
因为他也有一点珍妮特的超能力
because he has some of Janet's powers.
珍妮特
Janet!
-珍妮特 -什么事
- Janet... - Yeah?
你得把德里克从虚空里找出来
We need you to go get Derek from your void.
好
Okay.
该死 我的虚空在哪来着 我忘了
Shoot, where's my void again? I forget.
对了 无处不在
Yeah, it's everywhere.
好 我去去就来
Okay, hang on to your butt cheeks.
他人呢
Where is he?
我永远都找不到... 找到了
I'm never gonna find-- there he is.
德里克
Derek.
德里克 你得帮我们开火车
Derek, we need you to drive this train
带我们去明迪·圣克莱尔的家
and take us to Mindy St. Claire's house.
-你能做到吗 -德里克
- Can you do that? - Derek.
等下 大家都别上车
Wait... nobody get on that train.
-德里克 -为什么
- Derek? - Why not?
因为迈克尔对我说的话
Because of what Michael said to me.
你觉得你理应待在中间地带吗
You thought you deserved a Medium Place?
你是个烂人 埃莉诺
You're bad, Eleanor.
你就属于这里
This is exactly the place you should be.
德里克
Derek...
迈克尔不知为何想让我们待在这里
Michael wants us to stay here for some reason.
埃莉诺 我们有火车 有开火车的人
Eleanor, we have a train, a conductor,
还有一个安全的目的地
and a safe destination.
我要说一句
I'm going to tell you the same thing
我对皮帕·米德尔顿[王妃妹妹]说的话
I told Pippa Middleton
就在我们去直布罗陀海峡玩滑翔伞的时候
right before we went paragliding in Gibraltar.
"走吧"[开始吧]"Let's go."
这不是显摆 这是事实嘛
What? That's what I said.
各位 放手一搏
Guys, leap of faith.
迈克尔不让我们上那辆火车
Michael said we shouldn't get on that train.
那些恶魔很快就会来找我们了
Any minute now, those demons are gonna come looking for us.
我们要藏到哪里
Where are we supposed to hide?
我勒个去
No.
你教大家"电车难题"时
Now, when you taught the Trolley Problem,
你有没有私下希望
did you secretly wish that
被压在电车之下的人是你啊
it could be you who wound up under the trolley?
因为你的学生都这么想的
Because all your students did.
上车吧
All aboard!
火车来了
The train is here.
火车来也
It's a train!
上车吧
Get onboard?
-是这样 德里克 -德里克
- Actually, Derek... - Derek.
你要等到今晚的最后一曲放完时
You're gonna wait until the last song of the night...
德里克
Derek.
而等你离开时
And when you do leave,
你要单独去完成一个任务
you're gonna be flying a solo mission.
德里克大冒险
Maximum Derek.
德里克先开走 等新火车来了以后
Derek headed off, and when the new train arrived,
趁那些酒鬼恶魔没发现
the four of us crawled underneath
我们四个就爬到车下面
before any of the drunk demons saw us.
这样邪恶版珍妮特扫描这里时
That kept us from being detected
就检测不到我们了
when Bad Janet scanned the neighborhood.
把那群低能恶魔耍得团团转
We fooled those mofos like the chumps they are.
你留下的四条线索 我们都接收到了
We got all four clues you left us.
给你们点赞
That's great.
我其实留下了一千两百多条线索
Well, I mean, I actually left you more than 1,200 clues,
因为毕竟人类的智力有限
because of how primitive your brains are,
但我很高兴你们找足线索 琢磨明白了
but I'm so glad you got enough to figure it out.
等下 你怎么做到神不知鬼不觉啊
Wait, how did you escape detection, though?
这事从道德上说 很不光彩
Well, I'm not ethically proud of this,
我陷害了薇琪
but I framed Vicky.
其实很容易
It was pretty easy.
我一直在珍妮特耳边说悄悄话 引起她的疑心
I just kept whispering things into Janet's ear to make her paranoid.
抱歉 你对我说了什么啊
I'm sorry, wh-what did you whisper to me?
我不记得了
I don't remember.
什么薇琪什么的
Something, something, Vicky, something, something.
迈克尔一直对你说什么悄悄话
What does Michael keep whispering to you?
什么薇琪什么的
Something, something, Vicky, something, something.
欲知详情 她就会想解开珍妮特的手铐
And that made her try to take Janet's bracelets off,
从而陷害她是助你们逃跑的帮凶
which framed her for the escape.
你真坏
You...
小伙伴们 我想为之前吐槽大会上的事道歉
Guys, I-I want to apologize for roasting you earlier.
我不得不狠一点 因为大家都瞧着呢
I had to sell it, because everyone was watching.
但很好笑吧
It was funny, though, right?
-一点也不好笑 -吐槽塔哈妮的那段绝了...
- Absolutely not. - Tahani's stuff was perfect--
嗯对 不好笑
I mean, no.
小伙伴们 冷静一下
Guys, let's just take a moment here.
他们走了
They're gone,
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