善地
The Good Place
第二季
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善地
The Good Place S02E04
Part 1
Dec. 11, 2019, 4:13 p.m.
《善地》前情提要
我们的立场一致
We're on the same page.
我想换队友 跟你们组队
I wanna team up with you guys.
啥 为什么 是吗 不是吧
What? Why? You do? What?
我陷入困境了 需要队友支援
I'm in a bit of a bind and I could use some backup.
你们意下如何
So, what do you say?
结成新队友呗
New best friends?
你想跟我们结盟
You wanna team up?
你一直折磨我们 欺骗我们
You've been torturing us and lying about it.
我们就不要太在意"谁骗谁
Let's not get all caught up on who lied to who.
谁创造出一个虚假的现实
Which one of us created an entire fake reality
只为永世折磨别人"这种细节了
in order to cause eternal misery for the others.
这都是"陈年往事"了
That's ancient history.
20秒之前的事 你是徒手断片儿啊
It was happening until 20 seconds ago.
重点是
The point is that...
情况有所不同了
circumstances have changed.
目前 我们结盟是最好的选择
And now, all of us teaming up is our best option.
我喜欢结盟
I love being on teams.
我们得起个队名
We need a team name.
"山猫队"[NBA球队]The Bobcats.
-很棒 -先别激动 "缺心眼儿"
- Great. - Slow down, ding dong.
他才不会无缘由跟我们组队呢
He wouldn't offer us a deal for no reason.
他需要我们
He needs us.
为什么
Why?
因为如你所说
Because, as you said,
你们一直完虐我
you keep beating me.
我建立这个地方
Look, I built this neighborhood
是为了精神上折磨你们四个
as a way to torture the four of you... psychologically...
折磨上千年
for thousands of years.
而你不断识破骗局
And you keep figuring it out
所有乐趣都被你给毁了
and taking all the fun out of it.
乐趣
Fun?
今天 又出来了棘手的新情况
Today, there was a new development that really chapped my nips.
我被手下的一个员工要挟了
One of my employees is blackmailing me.
薇琪
Vicky.
她在中♥央♥广场开了一家蛤蜊汤馆
She runs the clam chowder place in the main square.
"来点海鲜杂烩汤"馆
A Little Bit Chowder Now.
杂烩汤泉那边吧
The place with the... the chowder fountain.
不 那家是"蛤蜊补气"馆
No, that's Pump Up the Clam.
"来点海鲜杂烩汤"馆有一个缓缓流入的杂烩河
A Little Bit Chowder Now has the lazy river of chowder.
我们怎么会觉得这里是"善地"啊
How did we ever think this was the Good Place?
薇琪觉得她比我更能胜任这份工作
Vicky thinks that she can run this neighborhood better than I can.
三十分钟后 她想开始导演她的剧本
And she wants to start her version in 30 minutes.
我本该重启你们
I am supposed to reboot you,
消除你们的记忆 将大权移交给她
erase your memory and turn control over to her.
如果我们的记忆被消除了
How are we supposed to team up with you
我们还怎么跟你结盟
if you wipe our memories again?
放心 我不会这么做
Easy. I'm not going to.
你们要装出一副被重启的样子
You're going to act like you've been rebooted
假装被薇琪和其他人折磨
and pretend that Vicky and the others are torturing you.
但是私下里
But then, on your own time,
你们可以学习伦理道德 花痴性感邮递员
in private, you can study ethics, ogle mailmen,
随心所欲
do whatever you want.
我能玩iPad吗
Can I play iPad?
-当然可以了 兄弟 -棒哎
- Sure you can, buddy. - Yes.
各位 这都无需争论了
Guys, there's no debate here.
我上司给了我两次机会做成这事
My boss gave me two chances to make this work.
这么说吧
Suffice to say,
我不止导演了两场
I tried more than two times.
如果被他发现 我们就都要"被开水烫"了
If he finds out, we're all in hot water.
不是比喻 是真会被"煮了"
Literally. They will boil us.
我们就会被熬制成"痛苦浓汤"了
We will be the main ingredient in a chowder of pain.
全体人类 卧室开会
Human meeting. Bedroom. Now.
没有阶梯这事
Yeah, that no stair thing,
是折磨人的方式之一
that was part of the torture.
让我...
Let me...
我顶你个喵啊
Son of a bench.
善地
第二季 第四集
大家有什么想法
Anyone have any ideas?
说出来你们都不信
You know, believe it or not,
我几年前经历过类似的事
I actually found myself in a very similar situation a few years ago,
只是那次
except in that instance,
迈克尔的角色是哈维尔·巴登Michael was Javier Bardem
《加勒比海盗5》中扮演萨拉查船长
而地点是瓦妮莎·雷德格瑞夫的避难室
and the Bad Place was Vanessa Redgrave's panic room.
演员 《霍华德庄园》
行了 你别说话了
Okay, stop talking.
一百个小时 不准再说话
Do not talk again for 100 hours.
我们怎么办
What do we do?
我们跟迈克尔结盟
We team up with Michael.
好 很冒险 但我欣赏你的自信
Okay, hot take, but I like your confidence.
-说说原因 -他戴了领结
- Tell me why. - He has a bow tie.
天
No.
我一直都相信戴领结的人
I always trust dudes in bow ties.
有一次 一个戴领结的家伙
Once, this guy in a bow tie came up to me
在杰克逊维尔市靶场的公交站找上了我
at the gun range in a Jacksonville bus station
他说他会给我六百块
and said he'd give me $600
只要我把这些海龟装进我的行李袋
if I put these weird turtles in my duffle bag
带到代托纳海滩
and brought them to Daytona Beach.
于是我偷了辆浅水船去了代托纳
So I hotwired a swamp boat to Daytona
那个人就给了我六百块
and the guy paid me the $600.
我的重点是 戴领结的人 绝对信得过
My point is, you always trust dudes in bow ties.
迈克尔是个骗子
Look, Michael's a liar.
我了解骗子
I know liars.
我生前的工作就是骗人买♥♥假药
It was my job to trick people into buying fake medicine
我连续七年都是最佳销♥售♥王
and I was the top salesperson seven years in a row.
你不是只在那家公♥司♥干了五年吗
I thought you only worked there five years.
所以说姐骗术高啊
Proves my point!
这是个骗局
This is a trick.
-我们决不能信他 -同意
- There's no way we trust him. - I agree.
这整件事都可能是他的骗局
He could be lying about this whole thing.
根据我们所知 你们三个在"恶地"
For all we know, you three are in the Bad Place
而我在"善地"
and I'm up in the Good Place,
我真正的归属 接受考验
where I belong, being tested.
-这怎么可能... -不知道 但有可能啊
- How would that even... - I don't know, but it's possible.
我们行动之前
Before we do anything,
需要掌握更多信息
we need more information.
我们该问他一下所有能想到的问题
We should ask him every question we can think of.
-对 -我们可以像烤小猪仔一样拷问他
- Yes. - Yes, we shall grill him like the flank of a Niberian piglet.
谁让你说话了 到一百小时了吗
I'm sorry, has it been 100 hours?
好了 我们有几个问题
Okay, man. We got questions.
首先 我们怎么能信任你呢
First off, how can we possibly trust you?
没法信任 但你们不得如此
You can't. But you have to.
逻辑上 你们不该信我 但你们别无选择
Logically, you shouldn't but you have no choice.
如果我是你们 我就不会信
I mean, I wouldn't, if I were you.
这么做太疯狂了
It's a crazy thing to do.
但你们必须如此
But you gotta.
如果我们不这么做呢
What happens if we don't?
那样 我再重启你们一次
Most likely, I reboot you once more,
你们再一次识破
you figure it out again,
薇琪向我上司举报我
Vicky tells my boss,
他叫停一切
he shuts everything down.
我因此受罚
I get punished,
你们最终将在真正的"恶地"永世受煎熬
you end up spending the rest of eternity in the real Bad Place,
待在全是蝎子的火山里受尽折磨
up to your necks in a volcano full of scorpions.
我们进行下一步之前
I'll tell you what I want to know right now
我想知道一件事
before we go any further.
杰克逊维尔美洲虎队
Did the Jacksonville Jaguars
去年赢了超级碗吗
win the Super Bowl last year?
你不是说笑啊 没有
You're serious. No.
他们会赢下超级碗吗
Will they ever win the Super Bowl?
杰森 我无法预知未来
Jason, I can't predict the future.
但是不能 他们赢不了
善地
The Good Place
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