善地

The Good Place S02E08

Part 3 Dec. 11, 2019, 4:14 p.m.

Do not avoid me by going to the void.
-别别啊 -别啊
- No, no! - No, no, no!
贱得也是没谁了
What a little bench!
剧情发展不妙
Things are falling apart here.
奇迪
Chidi...
我知道这牵涉到伦理道德
I understand the ethics involved,
但我们得阻止那场婚礼
but we need to stop that wedding.
我们拆散杰森和塔哈妮
We break up Jason and Tahani.
珍妮特就不会难过了
Janet stops being sad.
德里克就会消失
Derek goes away.
行但是...
Fine, but--
有一个理论叫"双重效应原则"
There is something called the Doctrine of Double Effect.
判断具有双重后果的行为是否具有道德合理性的准则
为了保证道德
In order to remain ethical,
不能带着要杀德里克的想法去实行此事
you can't just go into this with the intention of killing Derek.
而是要带着这样的初衷拆散杰森和塔哈妮
Your only goal has to be to spare Jason and Tahani
是为了让他们知道杰森结过婚而不那么痛苦
from future pain by filling them in on Jason's past.
懂了懂了
No, I got you, I got you.
就是...
So, it's like...
道德上我们该告诉杰森他和珍妮特结过婚了
ethically we should tell Jason that he used to be married to Janet,
而那样很糟糕
and it sure would be terrible
最终会导致德里克的死亡 "眨眼示意"
if that ultimately led to Derek's death, wink.
不眨眼示意很恶劣
No, the winking is bad.
你不该眨眼示意或用这样的词
You should not be winking or saying the word "wink."
好我们真得消灭...
Okay. We really need to kill--
我们真得消灭掉我要杀掉德里克的这种猜疑
We really need to kill any suspicion that I want to murder Derek.
厉害吧
Boom!
-眨眼示意 -不
- Wink. - No.
塔哈妮你冰雪聪明
Tahani, you're so smart.
你每天都教我一些...
Every day you teach me something new about...
文学和历史知识
art...and history...
以及为什么不该吃闻着香香的东西
and why you shouldn't eat everything that smells good
因为有时候闻着香的东西是蜡烛
because sometimes, it's candles.
你就像是个集智慧与美貌于一身的老师
You're basically, like, a hot genius teacher
时而和我这个学生滚床单
who sometime has sex with me, your student.
我在林纳史金纳合唱团高中上学时也常这样
That used to happen a lot at Lynyrd Skynyrd High School,
但这次你不会被警♥察♥抓走了
but this time you won't be arrested.
我爱你塔哈妮
I love you, Tahani.
杰森
Jason...
我真想不到我们会走到今天这一步
I'd never guess we would be where we are today,
我一个杰出的英国大慈善家身材超绝
me, a prominent British philanthropist with award-winning legs
会屈就嫁给你一个小屌♥丝
set to marry you, a swamp dweller
还曾经问过我
who once asked me
总统石像的另一边有没有屁♥股♥
if the Presidents on Mount Rushmore have butts on the other side.
我们在一起完全不科学
We don't make any sense together,
而我和你在一起时我可以做自己[把头发放下来]and yet, when I'm with you, I can really let my hair down,
当然只是个比喻了
metaphorically speaking of course,
因为我从没把头发扎起来过
because I'd never have it up in the first place.
我又不是工厂工人
I'm not a factory worker.
但你让我意识到
But you've helped me to see that
生活不只流于表面
there is more to life than just appearances,
我不敢相信自己会这么说...
and I can't believe I'm about to say this but...
-我爱... -等一下
- I think I love-- - Wait!
先别结婚
Stop the ceremony!
不能让你们成婚
This wedding cannot happen.
我说句废话
This is not helpful,
我一直都想参加一场
but I have always wanted to be a part of
中途被阻止的狗血婚礼
a wedding that was stopped dramatically.
我们为什么不能结婚啊
We can't get married? Why not?
因为...
Because...
因为...
Because...
等一下我做不到
Hang on a second. I can't do it.
我被死书生影响了
Professor Buzzkill got in my head.
我一直在想为了保持道德要遵循的规则
I'm just thinking about all the rules I have to follow to stay ethical.
换个人来说吧
Someone else is going to have to do this.
-我不行 -好了好了
- I can't, no-- - All right, all right.
我也不想当"带来坏消息的人"
I hate the be the bearer of bad news--
你想说《坏消息熊熊》[动画片]吗
I think you mean "Bad News Bear."
我们被重启之前杰森和珍妮特结婚了
Before all the reboots, Jason was married to Janet. Okay?
所以珍妮特才一直出故障
That's why Janet's been glitching
因为她想念杰森所以很难过
because she's sad 'cause she misses Jason,
实际上她特别难过
In fact, she was so sad she...
于是... 德里克
Well... Derek.
哎呦喂
Well, well, well.
杰森·门多萨
Jason Mendoza.
我们终于见面了
At last we meet.
你这小子好大的胆子啊
You've got a lot of nerve buddy.
不不我是埃莉诺
No, no. I'm Eleanor, man.
各位这是德里克
Everybody, this is Derek.
珍妮特造出了德里克当备胎
Janet made Derek as a boyfriend
来疗愈杰森带来的情伤
to try and rebound from Jason.
我遭到暴击有点晕
I feel quite light-headed.
珍妮特把我的慌张椅变出来
Janet, fetch my tizzy couch please.
要做决定了
Decision time.
很快就会有人发现我们都不见了
Any second now someone is going to realize we're all missing.
不如你再重启我们吧
Why don't you just reboot all of us?
塔哈妮和吉森会忘记曾经相爱
Tahani and Jason will forget they were ever in love.
这是个偶然事件
It was a flukey thing.
可能不会再发生
It probably won't happen again,
我和奇迪可以忘记...
and Chidi and I can forget...
我们想忘记的事
anything we want to forget.
就像是...
You know, just like...
我们当众出洋相丢脸的事...
personal bloopers that were embarrassing or...
我们经常放屁的日子之类的
days we were very gassy, et cetera.
然后我们再在你的办公室会合
And then, we'll meet back in your office.
你给我们补下剧情我们再从头开始
You bring us up to speed, and we go from there.
不不我们不能重新开始了
No, no, no, we are not starting over.
都已经有这么多进展了
We've come too far.
我们就只有重启着珍妮特或德里克
Our only options are to reboot either Janet or Derek.
选哪一个都不行啊
Neither one is permissible as your primary intention.
记得双重效应原则吗
I mean, the Doctrine of Double Effect, remember?
我运用的是"不彻底搞砸一切"的理论
Well, man, I'm working with a doctrine of not being completely effed, okay?
我不懂你为什么会看上杰森
I don't understand what you even like about Jason.
他有什么我没有啊
What does he have that I don't have?
灵魂
A soul...
还有生殖器
and genitals.
又开始拿"没有生殖器"说事了
Here we go with this whole "no genitals" thing again.
是你给我装了风铃而不是小鸡鸡珍妮特
You're the one that gave me wind chimes instead of a penis, Janet.
原因不是你的风铃小鸡鸡
This isn't about your wind-chime penis.
事实是原因不是你
In fact, it's not about you at all.
我也不知道原因所以很困惑
I don't even know what it is about which is very confusing
而我应该是无所不知的存在
because the whole point of me is that I know everything!
珍妮特我们单独聊几句
Janet, can I speak to you alone for a second?
你说你因为杰森而难过时
Okay, look, when you said you were sad about Jason
我建议说 "找个备胎男友疗伤"
and I suggested, "Hey, find a rebound guy,"
我以为你只是像小女生追星一时心动
it's 'cause I thought it was some sort of schoolgirl crush,
就像是那种在布鲁格甜品店的小冷库里
like, just some guy you made out with a couple of times
跟你亲热过几次的男人
in the walk-in freezer of a Bruegger's Bagels.
-非真人真事 -就是真事
- Not based on a real example. - Yes, it is.
他叫马可斯·比茨伯格
His name was Marcus Bitsburger.
马可斯我一直叫他本来着
Marcus? I always called him Ben.
听着我给你出了个馊主意
Look, I gave you bad advice, okay?
杰森显然对你很重要
Jason was clearly important to you,
真正的情伤没那么容易疗愈
and real heartbreak doesn't have a simple cure.
等过一段时间以后你会感觉好点
I mean, you will feel better after some time goes by.
我感受不到时间流逝这回事
I don't really experience the passage of time.
我倒是偶尔用来作乳液
I do use it as lotion occasionally.
很奇葩
I mean, weird,
但继续用因为你的皮肤非常好
but keep doing it because your skin looks amazing.
谢谢这不是皮肤
Thank you. Not skin.
重点是
The point is,
从情伤中走出来