金色年代

The Goldbergs S05E03

Part 3 Dec. 7, 2019, 5:57 p.m.

但对我姐来说一切照旧
but it was business as usual for my sister.
我这个舍监来做晚间查寝了
Hi! Just doing my nightly RA check-ins.
今晚有什么大计划吗
Any big plans tonight?
有特别大别给我留门了
Oh, yeah. Huge. Don't wait up.
我懂你准备好时自然会信任我
I get it -- you'll trust me when you're ready.
与此同时读读这个
In the meantime, read this.
"抑郁不只是周一症候群"
"Depression: More Than A Case Of The Mondays"?
很多像你这样孤独避世的宅女都会抑郁
It happens to a lot of lonely, isolated shut-ins, like you.
我不抑郁斯里尼
I'm not depressed, Srini.
当然
Of course not.
"否认现实你就是这毛病"
"Denial -- De Thing Dat You Have."
老天啊这些垃圾都是谁写的
Dear Lord, who writes this crap?
如此愤怒
Such anger.
幸好我有对症的小册子
Luckily, I have the perfect pamphlet for that.
说真的什么情况你都有小册子吗
Okay, seriously, do you have a pamphlet for everything?
没错
Big-time.
他给了我一个父母离异的小册子
He gave me the one for divorced parents
还有个我已经不需要的小册子
and something else that's totally cleared up now.
听好我不抑郁不愤怒也不否认现实
Look, I am not depressed or angry or in denial.
我只是有个异地男友
I'm just in a long-distance relationship.
就是这样所有迹象都符合
Of course. All the signs were there.
你是个教科书般的恋排生
You're a textbook BORF!
没错彻头彻尾的恋排生
For sure. Total BORF.
好吧恋排生是什么玩意
Okay, what the hell is a BORF?
全称是"只迷恋男友遭人排挤的新生"
It stands for "Boyfriend-Obsessed Reject Freshman."
就是你
That's you.
我才不是恋排生
I am not a BORF!
那也不是坏事爱丽卡
It's not a bad thing, Erica.
你不过是个可悲的女孩守着电♥话♥
You're just that sad girl that stays on the phone
守着很逊的高中男友
with her loser boyfriend from high school
因为你的生活乏善可陈
'cause she has no life.
那听起来糟透了
That sounds very bad!
我不想做恋排生我该怎么办
I don't want to be a BORF! What do I do?
跟我去兄弟会派对
Come with me to the Delta Nu party.
肯定会很疯狂
It's gonna be bonkers.
好疯狂我去
Yes! Bonkers! I am there!
我先给杰夫打个电♥话♥
I'm just gonna call Geoff --
恋排生才会说这种话
...is something that a BORF would say.
我需要帮助
I need help.
我会给你个小册子的
I'll get you a pamphlet.
烫头发吗
Crimp?
女士们先生们比赛时间到
Okay, ladies and gentlemen, it's game time.
今天滑板手球的队长金伯格对金巴巴
Today's scooter ball captains -- Goldberg versus Goldfarb.
教练我们已经讨论过了
Uh, Coach? We went through this already.
我真的需要再请出我妈妈吗
Do I really have to get my mom involved again?
就这样金巴巴
It's happening, Goldfarb.
像个男人一样登上小小的滑板车
Now, get on that tiny scooter, like a man.
但那天
But that day,
教练必须爷们起来
Coach would have to man up
面对他的大哥
and face his older brother.
瑞克教练
Yo! Coach Rick!
尼克教练
Coach Nick.
我们要商谈单膝跪下
We need to powwow. Take a knee.
这是我的体育课你单膝跪下
This is my gym. You take a knee.
不行我先说的
Can't -- I said "Take a knee" First,
根据教练法则
so, according to the laws of coaching,
你必须跪下
you got to take it.
孩子们看梅勒与梅勒
Boys, watch Mellor and Mellor
一解几十年的恩怨这得感谢我
sort through decades of anger, all thanks to me.
没错
It's true.
金发妞那天来我上班的地方
Blondie came by work the other day
告诉我你很伤心
and told me you were sad,
所以我想我要过来
and so I figured I'd just come by here
亲自告诉你我很抱歉
and tell you personally I'm sorry...
你失去了你的...
that you lost your .
你就没那么没种吗得找漂亮妈妈
Are you that gutless that you got to get some hot mom
过去帮你发牢骚
to come by and whine for you?
过奖
Thank you.
我这辈子都在等着说这句话
I've been waiting to say this my entire life.
你是个刻薄粗鲁的人
You are a mean and rude person!
-你说什么 -你嫉妒
- Excuse me? - You're just jealous
因为我是真正的教练而你沦落此地
'cause I'm a real coach and you're stuck here.
这不是我的错
That's not my fault,
但你表现得好像是这样这很伤人
but you act like it is, and that is hurtful.
好了够了
All right, that's it!
你给我走
You're outta here!
你刚冲我吹口哨吗
Did you just blow your whistle at me?!
是的
Yeah, I did!
根据教练法则
And according to the laws of coaching,
就是说你要跑圈
that means you got to take a lap!
不你跑圈
No. You take the lap!
你居然胆在我的课堂上对我吹口哨
How dare you blow your whistle at me in my gymnatorium?!
-你没这个权利 -我有
- You have no right! - But I do.
这是嘟嘟X2000 口哨中的香槟
This is the Blare-X 2000, the Champagne of whistles,
只有大学教练才能用
given only to college coaches.
所以我的口哨赢了
So...my whistle wins.
所有人都能拥有口哨
Anybody can get a whistle.
真正重要的是这里
What really matters is what's in here,
你和我都知道我总是110%努力
and you and I both know I always give 110%.
所有人知道我总是111%努力
And everyone knows I give 111.
这不可能
That's not possible!
所有人都知道110%是极限
Everybody knows that 110% is the maximum!
孩子们想想你们可怜的亲爱的妈妈
Boys, think of your poor sweet mother.
你们是家人必须用正确的方式来解决
You're family. You have to settle this the right way.
用体育比赛
With sports.
我想的是好听的话或者抱抱
I was thinking kind words and maybe huggies and snuggies.
决不我们像男人一样在球场上解决
Never! We settle this on the court, like men.
滑板手球
Scooter ball?!
你不选择一个你不烂的运动吗
Shouldn't you choose a game you don't suck at?
我们来
Let's go.
二对二
Two-on-two.
哥哥对弟弟
Big brothers versus little bros.
胜者成为全宇宙最棒的兄弟
Winner takes the title of best brother in the universe.
不我的宝贝们不希望参与其中
No! My babies want no part of this.
太好了这次我和吓人的巨人是一队的
Yes! I'm on the scary giant's team now.
我是巴瑞·金伯格
Barry Goldberg.
试着跟上我
Try to keep up.
我被迫参加兄弟死亡对决
While I was forced into a brotherly death match,
我爸死心塌地想让爱丽卡
my dad was dead set on keeping Erica
一心扑在电♥话♥上
occupied on the phone.
你不如过来舒服地坐在我的沙发上
Why don't you come on down and get comfy cozy in my chair
-给爱丽卡打电♥话♥ -真的吗
- and call Erica. - Really?
因为你说过如果我胆敢靠近你的沙发
'Cause you said if I came within 5 feet of your chair
你就揍我爹
that you'd punch my father.
没错我这个搞笑爸爸说搞笑话
That's me -- the funny dad havin' fun.
电♥话♥在这里
Here's the phone.
我给你准备咖啡
I'm gonna get you a cup of joe
你可以和爱丽卡聊一晚上
so you can talk to Erica all night long.
她去参加兄弟会派对了
Actually, she's at a frat party.
什么为什么
What? Why?
她32岁的二年级舍监管她叫恋排生
Her 32-year-old sophomore RA called her a BORF,
所以她要多体验一下大学生活
so she's gonna experience college a bit.
这是能躺下的吗
Does this recline?
滚下我的沙发
Get out of my chair!
爱丽卡和一帮喝醉的兄弟会男生在华盛顿寻欢作乐
You're okay with Erica cavorting around Washington, D.C.,
你没意见吗
with a bunch of drunken frat boys?
-没事我相信她 -不
- Yeah, it's fine. I trust her. - No!
你必须确保她的安全
You have to make sure that she's safe
她忠于你而且只有你一人
and she's committed to you and only you.
现在快出去
Now get out of here!