瑞克和莫蒂（2013）

Holy shit. That was awesome.
这也很棒
And so was that.
做得好 - 很好
Job well done. - Alright!
幸好你没事
Thank the squirrels you're safe!
这都要感谢瑞克桑切斯 全都是他的功劳
Thank Rick Sanchez. He did everything.
你也帮了很多忙 绝对比我预期还多
You did a lot too. Definitely more than I expected.
瑞克 我想感谢你拯救我
Rick, I wanna thank you for rescuing me.
来 我想把这个给你
Here. I want you to have this.
这是我的一部分 - 谢了
It's a piece of me. - Oh, thanks.
这是你的其中一颗蛋蛋吗
Is this, like, one of your balls?
机器树战队 有个怪视频在社交媒体上爆红了
Robo-Trees, something messed up is going viral all over Twit-Tok.
“你好 地球”
Hello, Earth.
“我是蓟之子”
I'm the Son of Thistle,
“我跟我爸一样 所以我要让末日降临”
and I'm just like my dad, so I'ma Doomsdayin'.
“莎曼莎 告诉大家我们要做什么”
Samantha, tell the people what we're gonna do.
“我们要消灭所有极地冰冠 因为它们逊毙了”
We're gonna wipe out the polar ice caps 'cause they suck!
电影化机还觉得我们在正轨上吗
Does the Movie-lizer still think we're on track?
杰里
Jerry?
“杰里 ” - 重死了
Jerry? - It's fuckin' heavy!
我真后悔没听施奈德的话
Shoulda listened to Snyder.
来得正好 全体杂草 攻击
Right on cue. Weeds, attack!
机器树战队 我们去阻止那个混帐吧
Robo-Trees, let's stomp that prick.
圣诞松在哪里
Where the hell is Tannenbaum?
老兄 他在哪 - 在船上
Dude, where is he? - On the ship.
圣诞松其实人还不错
Turns out, Tannenbaum's an alright guy.
我最爱的角色已经变成他了
He's kinda my favorite character now.
什么 看看我 我都变成仙人掌了
What? Look at me! I'm a fucking cactus!
别紧张 你要相信这个过程
Relax. Trust the process.
我的天啊 你又要改写剧情了吗
Oh my God, you're re-breaking the story again?
我想回家
I wanna go home!
而且我根本不觉得 最新一集“极限树度”有那么糟
And I didn't even think the last Maximum Velocitree was all that bad.
你说过那比不上“公民凯恩”
You said it wasn't Citizen Kane.
我才14岁 我没看过“公民凯恩”
I'm 14! I've never seen Citizen Kane!
仔细听好了 你这个蠢老头
Now, listen to me, you stupid old man!
你得把圣诞松带来这里 然后我会拿枪
You're gonna bring Tannenbaum here,
直接轰掉他的头 如同我们原本的计划
and I'm gonna shoot him in the goddamn head just like we planned!
好啦...我会帮你杀他的
Okay, okay! I'll help you kill him.
你说你要做什么
You're gonna do what?
妈 你竟然跟机器树战队串通
Mom? You're in cahoots with the Robo-Trees?
莎曼莎 听我解释 - 好 你解释吧
Samantha, let me explain. - Okay. Go ahead.
糟了 被她看穿了
Shit, she called my bluff.
快逃 - 抓住他们
Run! - Get them!
爸 帮帮忙 - 你♥爸♥没回应
Dad, help. - Your dad's not fuckin' answering.
“因为他在厨房♥跟他老婆讲话”
That's because he's in the kitchen, talking to his wife.
詹姆斯古恩 - 詹姆斯古恩
James Gunn? - James Gunn?
没错 - 詹姆斯古恩
That's right. - James Gunn?
你就走开吧 老兄 走开 - 但...
Just walk away, man. Walk away. - But...
我看了你写的那本恐龙的书 杰里
I read that dinosaur book you wrote, Jerry.
非常精彩 - 真的吗
Really good stuff. - You did?
我大概翻了一下 或许我们可以合作
Well, I got the gist. Maybe we could do business together?
要不要签两部片的约
Two-picture deal?
爸 不要啊 - 别答应 我们需要你
Dad, no! - Don't do it! We need you!
就是这样 杰里 屈服于好莱坞吧
That's it, Jerry. Give in to Hollywood.
你知道在这里要怎样 才能真正成功吗
You know how to really succeed in this town?
就是背弃家人
By turning your back on family.
我不喜欢
I don't like that.
不 你原本可以拥有一切的
No! You could've had it all!
两位 我回来了
Guys, I'm back.
我的天啊 你们做了什么 故事发展变线性了
Jeez Louise, what did you do? The story's gone linear.
“我们同时激怒了好人和坏人”
We pissed off the good guys and the bad guys.
“瑞克现在喜欢圣诞松了”
Rick likes Tannenbaum now.
我只是觉得他很有意思
I just think he's interesting.
我们需要新的结局
We need a new ending.
我写的剧情真的把我们逼到墙角了
I literally wrote us into a corner.
你得写剧情帮我们脱困 杰里
You gotta write us outta here, Jerry.
我吗 你之前说我文笔很差 最好永永远远不要...
Me? You said I was a terrible writer who should never, ever, ever, ever, ever--
“我话没说得那么重 听着 杰里”
I didn't say that many "evers." Listen, Jerry.
如果不在乎机器会吐出什么结果
Any idiot can plug an idea into a machine
任何笨蛋都可以把点子注入机器内
when they don't care what it spits back out,
但只有特别的笨蛋
but it takes a special kind of idiot
才能用键盘帮我们写出结局
to get on the keys and write us an ending.
“你就是那个笨蛋” - 但我要怎么写
You're that idiot. - But how?
“答案一直都在你眼前”
It's always been right in front of you.
“去我的工作台”
Go over to my workbench.
好 我到了
Alright. I'm there.
“打开右边的第三个抽屉 手伸到最深处”
Open the third drawer on the right and reach way back.
“应该有个小小的橙色瓶子”
There should be a small orange bottle.
这是什么 某种科幻设备吗
What is it? Some sci-fi device?
“这更好 这是魔法”
Better. It's magic.
“不要吃超过两颗 多喝一点水 要记得眨眼”
Don't take more than two, drink lots of water, and remember to blink.
我正式宣告你们两个有罪且死定了
I now pronounce you two both guilty and dead.
天啊 爸 救救我们
Aw, jeez. Dad? Help.
“此时 在命运的安排下”
Then, as fate would have it,
“他们脚下 有个巨大通风口突然开启”
a very large air vent opened beneath them.
“两位英雄从又大又通风的 通风口逃过了一劫”
Our heroes escape execution via the large vented air vent.
“在命运的安排下 这个通风口 直接通到外面 镜头突然切换到...”
As fate would have it, this is a direct path to the outside.
“外景 纽约 白天”
Slam cut to exterior: New York, day.
纽约 我们怎么会到纽约
New York? Why are we in New York?
别再对我管东管西了
Stop micromanaging me!
“然后在命运的安排下”
Then, as fate would have it,
“一辆马力强大的 兰博基尼停在他们面前”
a high-octane Lamborgina pulls up.
糟糕 我忘了怎么开车 拿去 小子 接好
Whoopsie, forgot how to drive. Here, kid, catch.
聪明药的药效起作用了 - 快上车
The Adderall is hittin'. - Get in the car!
好 杰里 快让我们进入故事高♥潮♥
Okay, Jerry, now get us to the climax.
“北‘吉’”
Nerth Pole?
莎曼莎就是在那里建造超级武器的
That's where Samantha built the super weapon!
爸想让我们回到正轨 抓紧了
Dad's trying to get us back on course. Hang on.
好耶 故事有曲线了
Yes! We've got curvature!
我猜这应该就是你的末日武器
Guessing that's your doomsday weapon.
我们已经接近电影结局了
We're nearin' the end of the movie.
天啊 莎曼莎盖得真快
Damn. Samantha built it fast.
看来对属下提供支持...
I guess supporting those beneath you--
他们来了
Here they come!
我们距离极地冰冠融化 到无法挽回的地步还有1.63分钟
We have 1.63 minutes before the melting polar ice caps reach the point of no return.
有人来了 - 阻止那个叛徒
We got company. - Stop that traitor.
该死 莫蒂 我好像想到最棒的结局了
Shit, Morty, I think I figured out the best ending yet.
你好 妈
Hello, Mother.
这交给你来处理 我不懂你们之间是怎么回事
You deal with that. I don't know what that's about.
来杀我啊 你们这群蠢树
Come and get me, trees.
莎曼莎 你好啊 你把武器做得很好
Samantha, hey. Beautiful job on the weapon thing.
我还以为你是真心喜欢我的邪恶计划
I thought you actually liked my evil plan.
但我们就面对现实吧 你不是我妈
But let's face it, you're no mother.
你只是个坏人
You're just a bad guy.
离那个超级武器远点
Step away from that super weapon.
我们轰炸他吧
Let's blast him.
我难得同意你的提议
For once, I agree with you.
住手 不要开枪 他是好人
Stop! Don't shoot! He's a good man!
他救了我
He saved me.
不对 我是坏人
No. I'm bad.
我是为了让你被杀死才救你出来的
I only rescued you so I could have you killed.
我恨你 圣诞松
I hate you, Tannenbaum.
你看起来就像玩具 快受死吧
You look like a toy. Die already!
他有枪
Gun!
明年夏天见
See you... next... summer.
等等 不要
Wait. No.
不
No!
(蓟之子 瑞克桑切斯)
你又杀了一个手无寸铁的人 保护了这个世界
You saved the world from another unarmed man.
不 他们死了
Oh no. They died?
有时候拯救世界 需要做出很复杂的决择
Sometimes, saving the world requires complex decisions.
能做出这种决择的人才是真正的领袖
Decisions made by a true leader.