瑞克和莫蒂（2013）

会这样也是理所当然
What did you expect?
听着 我知道怎么说故事
Look, I understand story.
让我把你们删掉的所有东西加回去...
Let me just put everything back that you took out and--
杰里 住手 这样只会把情况搞得更糟
Jerry, stop. You'll only make things worse. You're a terrible writer,
你的文笔很差 你永远不该碰键盘
and you should never, ever get on the keys.
好喔 真抱歉我还活着
Well, excuse me for living.
好 我们刚刚把反派杀了 我们得逆转这件事
Alright, we killed the villain, gotta undo that.
他们在“极限树度3:绝不说谎”中
Didn't they use lightning to bring George Washington back to life
不是用闪电让乔治华盛顿复活过吗
in Maximum VelociThree: Tell No Lies?
等等 机器的反应还不错
Hold on. The machine doesn't hate that...
看吧 这一定行得通
See? This is going to work.
我们会让蓟男爵复活 让这部蠢电影有个结局
We'll bring back Baron Thistle and give this stupid thing an ending.
要打方向灯 闪边去
Use your blinker! Fuck off!
(蓟男爵长眠于此)
好 我们接下来只需要一点闪电就好
Okay, all we need now is a little lightning.
我们回到正轨了 宝贝 - 成功了
We're back, baby! - It worked.
小心 有丧尸
Look out! Zombie!
老兄 我们才刚让他复活
Dude. We just brought him back.
那王八蛋咬了你
Fucker bit you.
等等 电影化机 好像侦测到了新的反派
Wait! The Movie-lizer is detecting a new antagonist.
我没看到什么...
I don't see any--
两位 这个新角色
Guys, this new character has given you
让电影结束的几率 增加了百分之20点5
a 20.5% better chance of ending the movie.
但我好痛
But I am in pain.
所以我们回到正轨了吗
So we're back on course?
算是吧 你们还是需要第三幕
Sort of. You still need a third act.
在原本的草稿中 蓟男爵会在机器树战队面前
In the original draft, Baron Thistle was gonna
杀掉圣诞松
kill Tannenbaum in front of the Robo-Trees...
这结局其实蛮酷的 - 该死
That would've been a cool ending.
或许蓟之子可以帮爸爸达成目标
Maybe Son of Thistle could finish what his father started?
你看起来确实有点像他
You do kinda look like him.
你们要我杀圣诞松吗 - 只要能行得通就好
You want me to kill Tannenbaum? - Whatever works.
好 我会帮助圣诞松越狱
Okay, I'll break Tannenbaum out of jail,
让他跟机器树战队团圆 然后莫蒂就杀掉他
reunite him with the Robo-Trees, and then Morty will kill him.
机器认可这个结局吗
Does the machine recognize that as an ending?
等等
Hold on.
成功了 但是感觉有点凄凉
It does! Kinda bleak, though.
闭嘴 我要去帮忙越狱了
Shut up. I'm off to a jailbreak.
那我该做什么
What the hell am I supposed to do?
你是新的反派 去找你的杂草手下
You're the new bad guy. Hook up with the Hench-Weeds
让机器树战队有点事做
and give the Robo-Trees something to stop.
“有点事做” 这什么意思
Something to stop? What's that mean?
第三幕见了
See you in the third act!
(蓟男爵长眠于此)
(华纳兄弟员工餐厅)
请帮我多加一点肌酸
Extra creatine, please.
你好啊 詹姆斯古恩 - 你好 扎克施奈德
Yo, James Gunn. - Oh. Hi, Zack Snyder.
我刚看了你剪的“超人”
Just saw your new cut of Superman,
给你个忠告吧 他是“钢铁之躯”
and word of advice, he's the Man of Steel,
不是“对话之躯” - 好喔
not the Man of Conversation. - Okay.
多剪一些他揍人的画面 我教你一个秘密妙招
Do more shots of him punching. And here's a secret move.
先让他用正常速度出拳 然后再把速度调慢...
Start the punch at regular speed, and then you're gonna ramp it down.
这才不是秘密
It's not a fucking secret!
抱歉 扎克施奈德 我不该对你发脾气的
I'm sorry, Zack Snyder. I shouldn't be lashing out at you.
你的二头肌跟我的头一样大
Your biceps are the size of my head.
没错 但我心地也很善良
Yes, but so is my heart.
你怎么了
What's going on with you?
有些“极限树度”系列的粉丝 今天闯进了片厂
Some fan of the Velocitree franchise got onto the lot today.
他用了传送门 然后...
He used a portal, and he just...
查克 我们没有跟观众脱节吧
Zack, we're not losing touch with the audience, are we?
我今天早上还给了 巧克力麦片吸血鬼的电影建议
I mean, I gave notes on the goddamn Count Chocula movie this morning--
是绿色传送门吗 那个人是瑞克桑切斯
Was the portal green? That's Rick Sanchez.
古恩 他就是把诺兰封在大书柜里
Gunner, that's the guy that sealed Nolan in the giant bookcase
说要为了“星际穿越” 惩罚他的那个人
to quote-unquote punish him for Interstellar.
他并不代表真正的粉丝
He doesn't represent real fans.
他就只是全宇宙最聪明的人而已
He's just the smartest man in the universe.
别太担心 他是干不了我们这行的
Don't sweat it. He can't do what we do.
应该啦
Probably.
我要去重训了
Gonna go crush some weights.
你总有一天会很后悔 自己没像我这样健身 詹姆斯古恩
One day you're gonna wish you hit the gym like I do, James Gunn.
不好意思 这里是蓟男爵的邪恶基地吗
Hello? Is this Baron Thistle's evil base?
现在不是了 我们正在收拾东西
Not anymore. We're packing it in.
我会试着把这些东西 放到我女友的手工艺买♥♥卖♥♥网站上卖♥♥掉
Gonna try to sell all this stuff on my girlfriend's Etsy site.
大家听我说
Everyone, listen up.
我是来重启这个基地的
I'm here to get this place back up and running.
我是蓟之子
I am the Son of Thistle!
他们的外套确实很像
He does sorta have the same jacket.
而且他的头也是仙人掌
And his head is also a cactus.
这样对我来说就足够了 告诉我们该做什么吧
That's all the proof I need! Tell us what to do.
蓟男爵去世前 你们都在做什么
Well, what were y'all doing before Baron Thistle died?
你知道的 就是末日计划 我们原本打算要融化冰冠
Oh. You know. Doomsday plan. We were gonna melt the ice caps.
光是画草图就花了好几个月
Spent months on the blueprints,
但你♥爸♥从来没有道谢过
not that your dad ever said, "Thank you."
你叫什么名字 - 莎曼莎
What's your name? - Samantha.
老板从来不表达谢意 感觉真的很糟 莎曼莎
It sucks when your boss never says thank you, Samantha.
但在我的领导之下 所有人都会感到自己被重视
But under me, everyone will feel appreciated.
- 好耶... - 好耶...
莎曼莎 我决定指派你负责
Samantha, I am putting you in charge of Operation:
彻底摧毁极地冰冠行动
Complete and Total Polar Cap Destruction.
谢谢你 长官 我最近一直情绪很低落
Thank you, sir. I've been feeling so low lately.
我想是因为我妈忘了我的生日
I think it's 'cause my mom forgot my birthday.
莎曼莎 这种事再也不会发生了
Samantha, that will never happen again.
从现在开始 我就是你妈
I'm your Mom now.
我们一起让冰冠融化吧
Now, let's melt some ice caps!
看吧 我的蓟之子点子奏效了
See? My Son of Thistle idea did work.
那王八蛋办到了 他做出了一台电影机
Son of a bitch did it. He made a movie machine.
名字写得清清楚楚
Says it right on the side.
(未显示号♥码来电)
喂 - “你好 我是你老婆”
Hello? - Hi, there. It's me. Your wife.
这是你的监狱食物 菜鸟
Here's your prison food, new guy.
你怎么会进来 - 我犯了我最快就能犯下的罪
What you in for? - The fastest crime I could commit.
你们有看到一棵很烦人的圣诞树吗
Any of you see an annoying little bitch of a Christmas tree?
拜托 拜托别打我
Oh, please. Oh, please, don't beat me.
我不会打你 我是来救你的
I won't. I'm here to rescue you.
我不值得拯救
I'm not worth rescuing.
我很烂 我只会讲一些很蠢的口头禅
I suck. I say dumb catchphrases.
我看起来很像设计给小孩玩的玩具
I look like a toy designed for kids.
我是大笨蛋
I'm a fucking idiot.
天啊 没想到你这么有自知之明
Wow. More self-aware than I thought.
别这样 大家一开始都很烂 之后就不烂了
But come on, everyone sucks until they don't.
每个精彩故事的走向都是这样
That's the arc of every good story.
是吗 - 计划如下
It is? - Here's the plan.
我会引发暴♥动♥ 然后我们就偷溜出去 我知道你不擅打斗 但...
I'll start a riot and we sneak out. I know you're not a fighter, but--
什么时候开始
When do we start?
好喔 就现在 - 好
Right now. - Good.
收回这句话 混♥蛋♥
Take that back, asshole.
等我上完你妈才会收回
I'll take it back when I stop fucking your mother.
我们也要揍人
Save some punching for the rest of us.
我的午餐毁了
Lunch is ruined.
真酷
Whoa. Cool.
全都给我动起来
Get your fucking rear in gear.
“我很想你 我好想老公”
I really miss you. I miss my hubby.
“你来一下厨房♥吧”
Why don't you come into the kitchen?
好 但你怎么会用 不同的号♥码打给我
Sure. But why are you calling from a different phone number?
这是预付费电♥话♥ 我在躲诈骗电♥话♥
It's a burner phone for spam calls.
快来厨房♥喝柠檬汁吧
Come into the kitchen for some lemonade.
天啊 我无法抗拒柠檬汁
Oh, wow. Can't pass up lemonade.
电影化机是我的了
The Movie-lizer is mine.
没有人的创意能比得过詹姆斯古恩
No one's more creative than James Gunn.
该死 我们被困住了
God damn it. We're stuck.
才没有呢 瑞克
No, we're not, Rick.
抓住我的树墩 很好
Grab my stump. Yeah!
我的天啊 刚刚真是太棒了