好想做一次（2020）

- He did? - Hmm.
Oh.
跟他说我也向他问好
- Tell him I said hi back. - Mmm.
卡梅拉脸红了吗？哇！
Is Kamala blushing? Whoa!
如果库老师向我问好，我才不会脸红
If Mr. K had said hi to me, I would not have blushed.
* We are nothing more Than strangers, after all... *
哇，真的挺有气氛啊
Wow, this is a real vibe.
现在是要抓我勒戒吗？
Is this an intervention?
我已经不吸奇异笔了 那次是因为我累了整个礼拜
I don't sniff Sharpies anymore. That was just one tough week.
不是啦！我们只是要歌♥颂你的心灵
No! We're just celebrating your spirit.
要来点洋甘菊和能量水晶吗？
Some chamomile and charged crystal?
好吧
Okay.
我们可能也要告诉你 麦坎可能脚踏两条船
And maybe we're here to also tell you that Malcolm might be cheating on you.
什么？
What?
对不起，小艾
I'm sorry, El.
我在他的手♥机♥上看到可疑讯息
I saw some pretty suspicious texts on his phone.
可能只是误会，麦坎很爱传讯息
Well, maybe it was a misunderstanding. Malcolm's a very passionate texter.
他为《美国偶像》简讯投票时 还加了茄子图示
He added eggplants on his text votes for American Idol.
他传的讯息不是问题
What he texted isn't the problem.
（伊莎贝拉）
那个笨蛋！
That cretin!
伊莎贝拉这个骚货是谁？
Who's this harlot Isabella?
我不知道，但绝对不是艾莉诺王！
I don't know, but she's no Eleanor Wong!
麦坎很烂，你该找个好一点的对象
Malcolm sucks, and you deserve someone better.
丹尼尔戴路易斯才配得上你
You deserve Daniel Day-Lewis
他为了入戏，逼太太 让他在家时也演林肯总统
making his wife live with him in character as Abraham Lincoln.
我的理想伴侣
My ideal.
我们会帮你，忘了麦坎吧 我陪你参加舞会
We got you. Forget about Malcolm. I'll be your date to the dance.
告诉我你要用什么精油？
Now tell me, which essential oil do you need?
檀香，谢谢
Sandalwood, please.
门没关
It's open.
喂！阿妮莎在哪里？
Oh. Hey! Where's Aneesa?
她去帕沙第纳踢足球 所以今天只有我们，阿迪
Oh, she has a soccer game in Pasadena, so just you and me today, David.
好，没问题
Oh, okay, cool.
其实也没多少事好做了
I mean, there's really not much left to do,
而且我已经挑好黛西的衣服
and I already picked out my fit for Daisy.
灵感来自琳赛萝涵酒驾出庭穿的衣服
It was inspired by what Lindsay Lohan wore to her DUI trial.
不错嘛！我觉得我们没问题了
Nice! Yeah, no, I think we're in good shape.
希望你不会觉得 跟我和阿妮莎同组很尴尬
Hey, I hope things haven't been too weird for you working with me and Aneesa.
Oh.
不会，没事
Nah, it's chill.
我觉得你跟阿妮莎两个人很配
I think you andxa0Aneesa make a really good couple.
她超酷的，你嘛...
She's super cool, and you're...
要超酷的人才配得上你
someone who deserves someone super cool.
谢谢
Thanks.
对啊，不，我真的很喜欢她
Yeah, no, I... I really like her.
说实话，谁都比席拉好
And honestly, anyone's better than Shira.
也比我好
Or me, for that matter.
我真的是很烂的女朋友
I was a real bad girlfriend.
很对不起你
I'm sorry about that.
你下次会变好的
You'll do better next time. Just...
也许这次专情一点
maybe stick to one guy.
我尽量，可是你也了解我 我就是欲求不满
Huh, I'll try. But you know me, I'm just so insatiable.
现在审理检方起诉黛西布坎南
We are presiding over the case of the People versus Daisy Buchanan,
杀害杰伊盖兹比先生的案子
in the case of the murder of one Mr. Jay Gatsby.
请检方发表开场陈述
Let the prosecution begin with their opening statements.
法官大人，黛西布坎南 正是我们今天出现在这里
Your Honor, Daisy Buchanan is the reason we are here today,
但是盖兹比先生无法出现的理由
and the reason why Mr. Gatsby is not.
至少他的肉身无法出现
Well, at least not in his corporeal form.
反正，如果黛西没有撞死梅朵威森
Anyway, if Daisy had not run over Myrtle Wilson
并且让盖兹比先生顶罪
and allowed Mr. Gatsby to take the blame for it,
乔治威森就不会以为 盖兹比先生是他老婆的情人
then George Wilson would not have thought Mr. Gatsby was his wife's lover,
也就不会因此杀了他
and therefore, would not have killed him.
谢谢
Thank you.
谢谢检察官
Thank you, prosecution.
辩方的开场说明呢？
Defense, your opening remarks?
"她开口闭口都是钱"
"Her voice is full of money."
杰伊盖兹比就是这么形容黛西
That's how Jay Gatsby described Daisy.
检察官简单几句话就讲述了案情
Now, the prosecution has given a rather simple assessment of the case.
请别见怪
No offense.
因为盖兹比会死并不是黛西的错
For it's not Daisy's fault that Gatsby is dead.
不是，错就错在1920年代 猖獗的阶级歧视和唯物主义
No, no, the fault lies in the rampant classism and materialism of thexa01920s,
黛西所在的社会 让她别无选择，只能拒绝盖兹比
and the society in which Daisy existed gave her no choice but to reject Gatsby,
最终导致盖兹比的死
which ultimately led to his demise.
所以被告完全无罪...
Thus, the defendant is incontestably...
无可置疑
innocent.
报告完毕
Mic drop.
好
Mmm, okay.
检方可以传第一个证人
Prosecution, you may call your first witness.
我们要传唤本书叙事者：尼克卡拉威
We call Nick Carraway, the narrator of the book.
尼克，你为什么觉得黛西有罪？
So, uh, Nick, tell us why you think Daisy's guilty?
因为她老把我朋友当空气
Because she like blew my boy off,
明明盖兹比帮她办了一场超狂派对
even though Gatsby threw, like, sick parties for her,
还有超赞的豪♥宅♥那些
and had a dope mansion and shit.
可是连你都承认盖兹比的死 是社会病态造成的
But even you acknowledge the societal ills that led to Gatsby's death.
所以你最后才搬回中西部
That's why you move back to the Midwest at the end.
有吗？
I do?
好逊，我才看了电影前半段
That sucks. I only watched the first half of the movie.
川特，老师就在这里！ 你不该承认这种事的
Trent, I'm right here! You should not be admitting to that.
辩方，轮到你们质询证人了
Defense, it's time for your witnesses.
我们传唤被告：黛西布坎南
We call the defendant, Daisy Buchanan.
法官大人，不好意思
May it please the court,
我只是时代的牺牲品
I am but a victim of my circumstances.
身为这个年代的女人 有没有本事，就看能不能嫁得好
As a woman of this era, all I have is my ability to marry well.
各位可能记得 女人到了1920年才有投票权
You may remember that women only just got the right to vote in 1920.
说得好，布坎南小姐
Well said, Miss Buchanan.
那我们开始结辩好吗？
How about we move on to some closing arguments?
辩方可以开始了
Defense, you may start.
所以，我们的结论是
So, in conclusion,
针对这些罪名 黛西布坎南完全无罪，因为...
uh, Daisy Buchanan is innocent of these charges because...
Um...
对不起
Sorry.
我不知道放到哪里了
I don't know where I put it.
好，找不到，但就是社会之类的问题
Okay, well, I can't find it, but, uh, basically, society and stuff.
我的同事都说过了
Just like my colleague said.
因为如此
So because of that, uh,
所以她肯定...
she had, has,
无罪
to be not guilty.
谢谢
Thank you.
"社会之类的问题"？
"Society and stuff," huh?
那边的人只会一直搬出藉口
Look, all I'm hearing from that side is excuse after excuse.
这个女人现在 该为自己的行为负起责任了！
It's time for this woman to take responsibility for her actions!
黛西布坎南也许不是开枪的那个人
Daisy Buchanan may not have fired the gun,
但她绝对是杀害杰伊盖兹比的凶手
but she is certainly guilty for killing Jay Gatsby,
因为在她选择汤姆而不选他时 盖兹比的心就停了
because when she chose Tom over him, she stopped his heart.
所以他早在那颗子弹 穿透身体前就死了
Therefore, he was dead long before the bullet ever entered his body.
检方报告完毕
The prosecution rests.
Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo!
妈呀！太精彩了，托勒斯小姐
Damn! Excellent work, Miss Torres.
虽然在真的法庭无效
It wouldn't hold weight in a court of law,
但是这种讲♥法♥在文学法庭很有份量
but it certainly holds some weight in the court of literature.
本庭认同检方的说法！
The court sides... Boom! With the prosecution!
黛西布坎南 我判你杀害杰伊盖兹比有罪
Daisy Buchanan, you are guilty of the murder of Jay Gatsby.
什么，我输了？
Wait, I lost?
-我在课堂上输了？ -对，没错
- I lost in an academic competition? - Yeah, you did.
耶，我们赢了！
Yes, we won!
你写笔记的卡片呢？
What happened to your note cards?
我不知道，我就丢进背包里
Oh, that... I don't know.
大概混在一起了
I threw them in my backpack, and I guess they got mixed up.
抱歉啦
Sorry about that.
你没生气吧？
Uh, you're not mad, are you?
没有！当然没有
Uh, no. No! No, of course not.
好吧
Okay.
妹子，我这次输得心服口服 因为你的结辩太劲爆了！