好想做一次（2020）

which meant she had to beast the shit out of this mile.
11分钟后
好 也许迪薇不是世界级的运动员
Okay, so maybe Devi wasn't a world-class athlete.
说到世界级的运动员
And speaking as a world-class athlete,
参加接力赛还拼命化妆真是诡异
weird choice to wear full-face makeup to this event.
天啊 阿迪 你是没运动过喔？
Jesus, David, you never exercised before?
没有刻意运动过
Not intentionally, no.
我大概因为慢跑得了盲肠炎
I think I have jogging-induced appendicitis!
医务兵
Medic? Medic!
你是抽筋了啦 拿去
You have a cramp. Here.
我示范一下我爸的健身好友 巨石教他的方法
Let me show you this trick my dad's training buddy Dwayne showed him.
巨石强森啦
Dwayne Johnson.
好
All right.
"克氏循环"
"The Krebs cycle."
克氏的循环？
The cycle of Krebs?
差得远了
Not even close.
好
All right.
克氏循环 我这辈子哪时候 会需要知道克氏循环啊？
Krebs cycle. When am I ever gonnaxa0have to know the Krebs cycle in my life?
有够白♥痴♥
It's so stupid!
好了
All right.
克氏循环
Krebs cycle.
靠
Shit.
科学真白♥痴♥
Stupid science!
我以为跟游泳相反
I thought it was the opposite of swimming.
跑步30分钟前尽量吃
Thirty minutes before you run, you're supposed to eat as much as you can.
完全错误
That is extremely incorrect.
抽筋好了吗？
Has the cramp gone?
应该吧
I think so.
干嘛对我这么好？
Why are you being nice to me?
这是慈善活动 你毕竟是慈善个案
Well, this is a charity event, and you are, after all, a charity case.
吐槽我
Banter.
你们觉得每圈距离太短吗？我心跳都还没加速
Did the loop feel short to you? I didn't even get my heart rate up.
阿妮莎 去玩沙包吧
Aneesa, let's go play cornhole.
尽量别死喔
Try not to die.
小班看起来是没那么气她了
While Ben did seem less furious at her,
但是浇熄不了他跟阿妮莎之间的火花
it couldn't extinguish the red-hot sparks sizzling between him and Aneesa.
拜托 你看看他们
I mean, Christ, look at them!
他们用同一支护唇膏耶
They just shared ChapStick.
这就等于高中生版的喝白兰地助"性"
That's like the high school equivalent of a glass of brandy before sex.
深呼吸和语♥音♥留言都去死吧
Screw deep breaths and voicemails!
迪薇该让这两只爱情鸟
It was time for Devi to put these two lovebirds
变成濒临绝种动物了
on the endangered species list.
好耶
Yes!
哇 我从来没在20分钟内 解完星期六的谜题
Whoa, I've never finished the Saturday puzzle in under 20 minutes!
你怎么懂这么多怪知识？
How do you know so many weird facts?
我花很多时间编辑维♥基♥百♥科♥
I spend a lot of time editing Wikipedia.
嘿 你想到比较隐密的地方吗？
Hey, do you wanna go somewhere more private?
例如四下无人的树林里？
Maybe the woods where there's no people around?
听起来很浪漫 但又有点恐怖
That sounded romantic, but also creepy at the same time.
太好了 我们去树林吧
Great! Let's go to the woods.
迪薇下定决心要拆散小班和阿妮莎
Devi was hell-bent on keeping Ben andxa0Aneesa away from each other,
谁也别想阻止她
and nothing was going to stand in her way...
-嘿 -派克斯顿？
-Hey. -Paxton?
你怎么来了？你应该用功的
What are you doing here? You're supposed to be studying.
本来有 但是念书好无聊 没有你更无聊
I was, but studying is kinda boring, and it's less boring with you.
可恶 这个猛♥男♥刚刚说 他喜欢跟她在一起？
Damn. Did this hunk of beef just say he likes spending time with her?
因为你教得很有趣 好像儿童节目
You know, because you teach me stuff in a fun way, like a Muppet.
好 不能因为这种交互就期待过高
Okay, we gotta stop letting this kid get our hopes up.
别忘了 他说你们两个在一起很怪
Remember, he said you two don't make any sense.
而且你还是欠我一份情
Also, you still kinda owe me.
如果我上不了大学 你一定会内疚
You're gonna feel real bad if I can't get into college.
对啊 我一定会帮你
Yeah, I'll help you study,
但是我要赶快处理一件事
but I have to take care of one thing really quick.
-马上回来 -好
-I'll be right there. -All right.
嗨 小班 好像该你跑了
Hey, Ben. It seems like it's your turn to run.
真的？我以为我在罗莎莉亚后面
Really? I thought I go after Rosalia.
小班说得没错 我发明了口诀方便记住顺序
Yeah, Ben's right. I made up an acronym to help us remember the order.
迪阿罗班夏艾法
DARBEEF, as in,
"迪阿罗他们班夏天爱法国" 好记吧？
"Dar, who beefed?" Isn't that helpful?
不好记 你的口诀超逊的 艾瑞克
No. Your fart-related acronym is not helpful, Eric,
因为小班在夏娃后面 她快跑完自己那圈了 好吗？
because Ben goes after Eve, and she's finishing up her loop, okay?
不好 你不可以这样对我讲话 我现在有女朋友了
Not okay! You can't talk to me like that. I'm a boyfriend now.
没关系 我跑
It's fine. I'll go.
反正我没练腿 结果让训练师生气了
My trainer's pissed at me for missing leg-day anyway.
不行 好
Oh! No! Okay.
换你
You go.
又轮到我？你确定？
It's my turn again? Are you sure?
对
Yep.
真的太
Literally, it was so...
我不喜欢这样
Yeah, I don't like this.
我了解
Fair enough.
给你
Here.
先驰得点
Game, set, match.
我虽然没看过比迪薇还逊的跑者
Devi might've been the worst runner I've ever seen,
但她绝对是电灯泡界的短跑世界冠军
but she truly was the Usain Bolt of cockblocking.
这两人绝对赶不上晚上9点的
No way were these two making it to Trent's tent
川特帐篷温存之旅
for their 9:00 p.m. hookup sesh.
迪薇
Devi!
老师别担心 我去跑
Don't worry, Miss Dubs. I'm all over it.
什么？迪薇
What? Devi!
有打到你老二吗？
Yo, did I get your dick?
没有
No.
好 想嗨吗？我有大♥麻♥食品
Okay. Want to get zooted? I got edibles.
好
Yeah.
迪薇得到凯♥旋♥而归的资格 这是她有史以来第一次
Devi had earned her victory lap, and for the first time ever,
喜欢运动的感觉
she was enjoying the feeling of exercise.
微风吹拂她的秀发 脚踩嘎吱作响的柔软树叶
The wind through her hair, the soft crunch of leaves underfoot,
小班和阿妮莎走向川特的帐篷了
the sight of Ben and Aneesa going to Trent's tent!
什么？怎么会？青少年真的好色
What? How? Man, teenagers are horny.
晚上8点53分
跑的时候不准停 就是你 迪薇
No stopping on the course! That means you, Devi.
只剩七分钟可以阻止他们
Only seven minutes to stop them.
这绝对是迪薇威舍库玛一生中 跑得最快的1.6公里
This was gonna have to be the fastest mile of Devi Vishwakumar's entire life.
我错了
Or not.
什么？
What?
好 所以她非作弊不可
Okay, so she was gonna have to cheat.
靠
Shit!
有没有搞错？
Really?
要喝水吗？
Do you need water?
可恶
Damn it!
我要手♥机♥
I need my phone.
我的手♥机♥呢？
Huh? Where's my phone?
你有看到我的手♥机♥吗？
Have you seen my phone? Have you seen my phone?
嘿 你是阿妮莎吧？你整天都能在六分钟内跑1.6公里
Oh, hey! Um, Aneesa, right? You've been running sub-six-minute miles all day.
想参加越野跑步校队吗？
Any interest in joining the cross country team?
错了 你种族歧视 我不是阿妮莎
No, you racist! I'm not Aneesa!
我跑不快 我也不酷
I don't run fast, I'm not cool,
我连一块巧克力蛋糕都不吃 因为我有厌食症 好吗？
and I don't eat one crumb of brownie because I'm straight-up anorexic! Okay?
迪薇 我不想阻止你精神崩溃
Hey, Devi. Not to get in the way of your little meltdown...
对了 你崩溃起来超赞的 脸上的刮伤更是爆笑
Which is going great, by the way. The scratches on your face are hilare.
可是你刚刚说阿妮莎有厌食症？
But did you just say that Aneesa is ano?
大概吧 我没看过她吃东西
Yeah! Probably! I've never seen her eat a damn thing!
天啊 阿妮莎好可怜喔
Oh my God! That's, like, so sad about Aneesa.
我们最好别说出去 因为这是个人隐私
We probs shouldn't tell anyone, because it's, like, private.
24小时接力赛到目前为止 都逊到最高点
So far the 24-hour relay had sucked a big fat one.
小班和阿妮莎可能正打得火热
Ben and Aneesa were probably hooking up,
更惨的是 迪薇永远搞丢爸爸的语♥音♥留言
and even worse, Devi had lost her dad's voicemails… forever.
怎么了 迪薇？
What's up, Devi?
-派克斯顿？-你去哪里了？
-Paxton? -Where you been?
我本来想念书 可是川特害我嗨了
I was trying to study, but Trent got me loose.
但是别担心 我会跟这些鬼字卡拼了
But don't worry. I'm ready to learn the shit out of this shit.
阿妮莎 你在哭吗？怎么回事？