好想做一次（2020）

所以你要从告诉安妮莎谣言的人开始 然后倒推？
So you're starting with the person who told Aneesa and working backwards?
对 安妮莎 是谁第一个告诉你谣言的？
Yup. So, Aneesa, who's the first person that told you about the rumor?
我不知道他的名字 但他当时在喝一杯超大的冰卡布奇诺
Um, I don't know his name, but he was drinking a large iced cappuccino
还称赞了我的卡拉·迪瓦伊眉毛
and complimented my Cara Delevingne brows.
乔纳！我们就从乔纳入手！
Jonah! That's where we'll start!
所以你也要加入调查？
Oh. So you'll be joining in on this too?
我的天 我超爱调查 它现在是我的人生大事了
Oh my gosh. I love this. This is my whole life now.
好极了
Great.
嗨 杰克逊医生！ 我很喜欢你的胡子！
Oh, hi, Dr. Jackson! Love the beard!
嗨
Hi.
杰克逊医生 真是令人不悦的不期而遇
Dr. Jackson, what an unexpected displeasure.
是吗？
Oh, it's like that, huh?
我之所以过来 是因为你的病人
I'm only here because your patients
总把车停在我家诊所的预留车位上
keep parking in my office's reserved spots.
首先 你怎么知道 那些车是我病人的？
First of all, how do you know those cars were for my office?
他们可能是 那个奇怪的植发诊所的病人
They could be from that weird hair-transplant clinic.
不会 绝对是我们诊所的病人
No, it's definitely our office.
我告诉大家停在那边
I tell people to park there because I'm embarrassed
因为我嫌弃我们的车位紧挨着浣熊家族生活的垃圾桶
our spots are next to the dumpster where the raccoon family lives.
抱歉 杰克逊医生 不会再发生这样的事了
Sorry, Dr. Jackson. It won't happen again.
-谢谢-谢谢
- Thank you. - Thank you.
这身打扮是怎么回事？
What's with the getup?
你看起来很漂亮
You look very nice.
如果你非想知道 我要去参加莫拉雷斯医生的退休派对
Uh, well, if you must know, I am going to Dr. Morales's retirement party.
她是加利福尼亚大学的皮肤系主任 也曾是我的导师
Uh, she's the head of Derm at UCLA where she was my mentor.
你知道吗？
You know what?
她可能比你待过的学术圈还多
She probably runs in more academic circles than you're used to.
好吧 知道了
Right. Okay.
你确保让那些车 停到自家诊所的恶心车位就好
Well, you just keep your cars parked in your own gross spots.
破解谜团真是激动人心
It's so exciting solving a mystery.
我觉得自己就像 《龙纹身的女孩》里的女主
I feel like the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo,
但是没有厚重的刘海
but without the severe bangs.
嘿 看 乔纳在那里！
Ooh. Hey, look, there's Jonah!
小德
Lil' D.
我需要你帮忙
I need your help.
我今天有生物考试 但我没看抽认卡
My bio test is today, and I never looked over my flash cards
因为我在接力赛上喝得不省人事
because I was blitzed at the relay.
你周日也没看？
我有点宿醉
- You didn't look over them on Sunday? - Well, I was kind of hungover,
然后有一场比赛 特伦特就过来了
and then a game was on, and Trent came over,
我们又醉了一回
and we got blitzed again.
听着 这不重要 你在接力赛上说会帮我复习
Look, it doesn't matter. You said you'd help me at the relay
但你一直没出现 所以你现在得帮我
and never showed up, so you gotta help me now.
我现在手头有点事 我能午餐时去找你吗？
I'm kind of in the middle of something. Could I find you at lunch?
你最好能来 因为没有你 我学不会这些狗屁玩意
You better come 'cause I can't learn this crap without you.
好 知道了
Okay, yeah.
乔纳
So, Jonah,
安妮莎说是你告诉了她那个谣言
Aneesa said you told her about the rumor.
对 因为我不是伪君子
Yeah, because I'm not fake,
大家需要知道别人如何议论自己
and people need to know what other people are saying about them.
之前有谣言说你生下来的时候 有一只蹄子
There's a rumor you were born with one hoof.
是我编的 但你有权利知道
I started it, but you deserve to know.
看吧？你是不是很高兴我告诉你了？
See? Aren't you glad I told you?
没错 乔纳 感谢你的坦诚
Yes, Jonah. Thank you for your honesty.
好了 我们说回安妮莎
All right. Let's get back to Aneesa.
你还记得是从谁那里听到的谣言吗？
You remember who you heard the rumor from?
出于交际和勒索目的 我一直在记日志
I keep a log for networking and blackmailing purposes
以防有人找我兴师问罪
in case anyone ever tries to bring the drama to me.
是艾迪·谭
It was Eddie Tan.
法比奥拉和埃莉诺很是兴奋 她们有了明确的线索
Fabiola and Eleanor were thrilled they had a hot lead.
但德维就不怎么兴奋了
Devi not so much.
她们在预备微积分教室外找到了艾迪
They found Eddie outside of pre-calc,
他告诉她们 他是从超级情侣 德鲁赞娜那里听说了谣言
and he told them he heard the rumor from supercouple Drewzanna,
这俩人被她们发现在露天看台亲热
whom they found making out in the bleachers.
他们说是从汗渍渍塔拉那里偷听到的
They said they overheard it from Sweaty Tara,
后者正在食堂大嚼邋遢乔三明治
who was housing a Sloppy Joe in the cafeteria.
她让她们去健身房♥的重量训练区 找刻薄迪尼斯
She directed them to Mean Denise in the weight room...
后者又让她们去医务室找气喘大卫
... who sent them to Asthmatic Dave at the nurse's office...
大卫把责任推到了 正在剧场的合唱团达斯汀身上...
... who blamed Show Choir Dustin in the theater...
... 我
♪ Me, me, me ♪
... 然后他让我们的侦探们
... who then sent our detectives
去找在西班牙教室的一个熟人 也就是特伦特
to the familiar face of Trent in Spanish class.
我不知道谁跟我说的
I dunno who told me.
我只记得我在搞恶作剧 把马库斯的牙刷
I just remember I was sticking Marcus's toothbrush
插入我的屁♥股♥蛋中间
between my butt cheeks as a prank.
总之 我把他的牙刷 夹在屁♥股♥蛋中间时
Anyway, while I had his toothbrush between my butt cheeks,
有人过来说： "安妮莎是厌食者 很搞笑吧？"
someone came over and was like, "Aneesa's anorexic. Isn't that hilare?"
糟糕！貌似我们走进了死胡同！
Oh no! Looks like we're at the deadest of dead ends!
我去告诉格拉布斯校长调查失败了
I'll tell Principal Grubbs that the investigation's a bust.
等一下 不对 用词是"搞笑"
Wait. No, they said "hilare."
我觉得我们可以告诉格拉布斯校长
I think we can tell Principal Grubbs
我们找到罪犯了！
that we have our culprits!
姑娘们 我不会说
Girls, I'm not gonna say
我觉得你们不至于这样 因为...
I think you're better than this because well...
那是自然
Obvious reasons for sure.
对同学恶意造谣的行为很过分
Starting a vicious rumor about a classmate is unconscionable.
之前我们编过很多更过分的谣言 但一直平安无事
We've gotten away with so many worse rumors.
但这次的谣言不是我们造的
But we didn't start it, I don't think.
那听起来像是我们会说的话吗？ 没错
Does it sound like something we would say? Yes.
但是我们说了吗？或许吧
But did we say it? Maybe.
你俩放学后留堂一个月 而且也被舞会委员会除名了
Both of you have detention for a month. You're off the dance committee.
什么？不行！
What? No!
那你就别想
Then you can say goodbye
让我爸的车行购买♥♥年刊的整版广♥告♥了
to my dad's car dealership buying a full-page ad in the yearbook.
那张支票已经结清了 概不退还
That check is cleared, and it's nonrefundable.
再见了 女士们
Have a great day, ladies.
德维有史以来第一次
For the first time, Devi was thankful
感恩那两个女孩完全不把她放在眼里
that she was so forgettable to these girls.
而且这也不算两个无辜之人代人受过
And it's not like innocent people were taking the fall.
希拉和佐伊把谣言传了半个学校
Shira and Zoe had blabbed the rumor to half the school.
所以 德维的剧烈胃痉挛
So the horrible pit in Devi's stomach
可能只是因为栽赃成功引起的
was probably just the feeling of a job well done.
是吗？
Right? Right?
你好 宝贝 你回来得真是时候
Ah, hello, kanna, perfect timing.
我刚购物回来
I've just returned from shopping.
你买♥♥汽水了吗？我的朋友们今晚要来
Did you pick up any sodas? My friends are coming over tonight.
她没有去杂货店 只是在附近逛了逛
She didn't go to the grocery store. She shopped locally.
-她摘了邻居的水果树 -什么？奶奶 你不能那么做
- She picked the neighbor's fruit trees. - What? Pati, you can't do that.
为什么？
Why?
你觉得隔壁那两个男人 需要这些橙子吗？
Do you think the two men who live next door need all these oranges?
我见过他们一人在上午十点 叫了一盘墨西哥玉米片外卖♥♥
I saw one of them order a tray of nachos at 10:00 a.m.
但你这是盗窃 美国人很在意他们的水果树
But it's stealing. Americans are weird about their fruit trees,
一般都会维护自己的私人财产
and defending their property in general.
真的 这里的每个人都有一把枪 和一台榨汁机
It's true. Everyone here has a gun and a juicer.
没人会抓到我
No one will catch me.
如果被他们抓到 我就装痴呆 用泰米尔语乱说一气
And if they do, I'll pretend I have dementia and babble in Tamil.
这跟你会不会被抓到无关 你这么做就是错的
It doesn't matter if you don't get caught. It's wrong.
某人顿悟了
Uh-oh, someone's having an epiphany.
德维 你真是跟你父亲如出一辙
Oh, Devi, you are your father's daughter.
你们都有一颗无比聪慧的脑瓜 和宽阔的胸襟
Such a good head and such broad shoulders.
嗨 赛特赛格 抱歉我还没回复你
Hi, Setseg. Oh, sorry I haven't responded
激光标签易外特网站的事
to your Evite about laser tag yet.
对 请一定要回复
Uh, yes, please do.
但那根本不是我打来的原因
That's not even why I was calling.
埃文刚把报告发给了 所有的共同撰稿人
Evan just sent the paper to all the co-authors.
太好了！
Ooh! Great!
我马上查看邮件！
I'll check my email right now!
我还没收到
I haven't gotten it yet.
我的电脑里全是我奶奶
But my computer is full of viruses
盗版《印度偶像》带来的病毒
from my grandmother pirating Indian Idol.
不是 卡玛拉 你没收到 是因为你没被列为共同撰稿人