好想做一次（2020）

小班：早安
派克斯顿：早
小班和派克斯顿传消息？
A text from Ben and Paxton?
各位观众 这不是作梦
No, people, this is not a dream.
就算在迪薇最奔放 卵子冲脑的性幻想里
Even in Devi's wildest hormone-driven fantasies,
都没有臭屁到想像自己有两个男朋友
she'd never been cocky enough to imagine having two boyfriends…
或者聪明到能左右开弓
…or smart enough to juggle them.
我这辈子毁了
My life is over!
-好 待会儿见 -好
-Yeah, I'll see you later. -Okay.
-嗨 -嗨
-Hi. -Hi.
1823年以人为名的外交政策
The 1823 eponymous foreign policy...
门罗主义是什么？
What is the Monroe Doctrine?
3 2 1 开始
Three, two, one, go!
小班：晚安
派克斯顿：晚安
我通常反对偷吃的
I don't usually condone cheating,
但这个书呆子的双打技巧太专业了
but this nerd's playing doubles like a pro.
对 你最好冰敷嘴唇 迪薇
Yeah, you better ice those lips, Devi.
好想做一次
第二季 第二集
你跟两个情夫怎么样？好难相信你没被抓包
Dude, how's it going with your two paramours? I can't believe you haven't gotten caught yet.
我知道 还好他们上的课 或者社交生活没有重叠
I know! Luckily, they have no academic or social overlap,
"面对历史"课除外 可是那堂课让人性冷淡
except for Facing History, which is a sexual dead zone.
其实我很担心你全身而退的统计概率
I was actually worried about the statistical improbability
所以我算了一下
of you getting away with this, so I ran some numbers.
平时会注意你的人很少 少到吓人
The amount of people that pay attention to you is low, like, shockingly low.
你几乎就是隐形人
Like, you're basically invisible.
好 我懂 法碧 继续
Yeah. I get it, Fab. Move along.
这是小班的数据
And then there's Ben.
你也看得到
As you can see,
没人屌♥他
no one care.
但是每个人都会死盯着派克斯顿
Now Paxton is someone people can't take their eyes off of…
除非他跟着你
…except when he is with you.
喂 你的演示文稿很伤人耶
Hey, this slideshow is very hurtful.
什么？不 这好消息耶 你永远不会被抓到
What? No! This is great news. You'll never get caught!
如果你是佐伊梅泰格就完了
If you were Zoe Maytag, you wouldn't stand a chance.
大家现在还在讲她边走边吃香蕉的事
People still talk about the time she ate a banana on her way to third period.
我觉得很刺♥激♥ 就像闹剧版的莫里哀喜剧
I think it's exciting, like a farce-y Molière play!
一个爱人在阳台上 另一个走出大门
One lover out the balcony whilst the other comes through the door.
我压抑不了我对他们的感情
I mean, I can't help that I like both of them.
小班吸引我超知性的那一面
Ben gets my super brainy side,
派克斯顿吸引我超色的那一面
and Paxton gets my mega horny side.
只要在几周内不让他们碰头 接下来
I just have to keep them separated for a few more weeks, and then, boom.
我就要搭一整天飞机去印度了
I'm on a 24-hour flight to India.
趁你妈不在 我们应该帮你办送别趴
We should throw you a going-away party while your mom's out of town.
对喔 要盛大豪华点 摆香槟 生蚝
Oh yeah! Something classy. We're talking champagne, oysters.
这个好
I love this idea.
卡梅拉每天都在实验室待到半夜3点
And Kamala's been working at her lab until 3:00 every night,
所以不必担心她
-so we don't have to worry about her. -Perf.
太好了 我们办个小型成人聚会
Let's make it a small adult soiree.
只有我和奥立佛 法碧和夏娃 你还有
Just me and Oliver, Fab and Eve, and you and, um…
你的哪个男朋友最适合带去聚会？
Hmm. Which one of your boyfriends seems most soiree approps?
小班喜欢精美的东西
Well, Ben has an appreciation for fancy things,
可是派克斯顿有假证件 能买♥♥到酒
but Paxton has fake ID and can buy us alcohol.
我会邀派克斯顿
I'll invite Paxton.
迪薇：我的送别宴在周五 ‎要来吗？
派克斯顿：笑死 当然
你不去体育馆吗？
Aren't you coming to gym?
不要 我还有事要做
Nah. I got some errands to run.
而且我的体育学分一定不会转到印度
Plus, I'm pretty sure PE credits don't transfer to India.
所以干嘛运动？
So what am I even exercising for?
迪薇 你怎么跑来了？
Devi, what are you doing here?
医生好
Hey, Doc.
我只是来道个歉
I just wanted to say I'm sorry
我上次见到你时太欠扁了
for the way I acted the last time I saw you.
好 感谢 我接受你的道歉
Okay, I… I appreciate that. Apology accepted.
不过我也要来道别 因为我好多了
But this is also a goodbye, because I'm all better now.
送你一包糖
So here are some See's.
-谢谢你帮的忙 -不行
-Thanks for everything. -Nuh-uh.
坐下
Sit.
跟我说说印度的事
Tell me about India.
那是我最想住的地方吗？
Is it my first choice on where to live?
不 我想住卡戴珊家族 隔壁的卡拉巴萨斯
No. That's in Calabasas next to the Kardashians,
可是我妈很想去 所以我会跟去
but it means a lot to my mom, so I'm going with it.
所以我要压缩美国高中的约会时段
Which is why I have to cram in all of my American high school dating now.
-所以我有两个男朋友 -什么？
-That's why I have two boyfriends. -What?
两个男生都知道这是开放式关系吗？
Do both these boys know they're in open relationships?
说实话
Don't lie.
不知道 可是我学期末就要走了
Not exactly, but I'm leaving at the end of the semester,
等他们发现 我早就一溜烟跑了
so by the time they figure it out, I'll have busted out town like Road Runner.
迪薇 我担心这种行为的压力
Devi, I worry that the stress of this move
会让你做出不明智的决定
is causing you to make some questionable decisions.
你真的喜欢这两个男生吗？
I mean, do you even like both these boys?
我真的喜欢他们
I really like them.
小班很聪明 虽然多半在吵架 但我们能聊好几个小时
Ben's smart, and we talk, mostly argue, for hours,
派克斯顿帅到爆
and Paxton's so hot,
跟这种人约会 另一半都能谅解
he basically counts as a celebrity hall pass,
而且他对他妹妹超好的
but also, he's really sweet to his sister.
如果你关心他们
Then if you care about them,
干嘛做出可能让他们伤心的事？
why would you do something that could hurt them?
真正的感情 必须以诚实与信任为基础 迪薇
Real relationships are built on honesty and trust, Devi,
我知道你以为自己有两个男朋友
and I know you think you got two boyfriends,
但是根据这种标准
but by those standards,
孩子 你一个也没有
girl, I think you got zero.
娜莉妮坐了整天飞机后
After a full day of flying,
本来以为她会在
Nalini was expecting more fanfare
父母位于钦奈的家受到盛大欢迎
when she showed up to her parents' house in Chennai.
可是她抵达后得到的待遇 就跟亚马逊的包裹差不多
Unfortunately, her arrival was given all the celebration of an Amazon package.
妈妈
Hi, Amma!
你这丫头 吓死我了
Kannamma! You scared me!
你是今天来吗？大概吧
Is today the day you visit? I guess so.
欢迎光临
Welcome.
谢谢 妈妈 你这样好漂亮
Thank you, Amma. You look so beautiful.
穿这样看♥房♥♥子可能太夸张了
Might be a little too much for condo shopping.
他们看到你的首饰一定会涨价
They will definitely raise the prices when they see your jewelry.
对不起 我们不能陪你去 我跟你♥爸♥要去喝喜酒
Oh, I'm so sorry. We can't go with you. Your father and I are off to a wedding.
等一下 为什么不能早点跟我说？
Wait. Uh, why didn't you just tell me this earlier?
我可以下礼拜来
I could've come next week.
下礼拜是排灯节 下下礼拜我们约好要去果亚
Next week is Diwali, and the week after, we booked a trip to Goa.
我订了一件无袖装要给你♥爸♥惊喜
I ordered a sleeveless dress to surprise your father.
妈妈 喝喜酒哪会比帮我和你外孙女
Amma, how is going to a wedding more important than finding a roof
找房♥子还重要？谢谢你
for me and your granddaughter? Thanks, ma.
我很关心你和迪薇 但我也很重视个人社交生活
I love you and Devi, but I also value my social life.
这就叫女性主义
It's feminist!
好吧
Fine.
那你大概也不帮我找诊所店面了
And I assume you can't help me find a space for my medical practice either.
你来印度后还打算工作？
You still plan to work when you come to India?
你都这把年纪 也许不该这么有企图心了
At your age, maybe it's time to be a little less aspirational.
照顾自己也是女性主义 葛妮丝派特洛的公♥司♥杂♥志♥有写
Self-care is also feminist. I read that on goop.
你怎么把我当空气？
I hope you don't ignore me like that.
我降落后 妮玛拉每五分钟就打一次
Nirmala has been calling me every five minutes since I landed.
你婆婆真烦人
Your mother-in-law is exhausting,
不过你最好跟她吃顿饭
but you should probably have a meal with her.
我知道 可是她的话好无聊 妈妈
I know, but her stories are so boring,xa0Amma.
她每次都讲自己怎么智取商店老板
There's always one about how she outsmarted some shopkeeper
多拿一点扁豆
to get some extra lentils.
你说什么？你要扁豆？
What did you say? You want some lentils?
拉米雅 我们做扁豆糊给你
Ramya! We'll make you some paruppu.
奥立佛 你觉得在成人聚会上 供应土豆皮代表什么？
Oliver, what about an adult soiree screams potato skins to you?
可是我会做得超好吃 我是气炸锅的厨神耶
But I make them really good though. I'm full MasterChef with my air fryer.
迪薇的送别趴必须是高雅的场子
Devi's going-away party is an elegant occasion.
开胃菜要取悦人的嘴巴
Bouches need to be amused!
你在筹备迪薇的送别趴？
You're planning Devi's going-away party?
我不是要摆架子 但我是她男友 理应要帮忙的
Not to pull rank, but as her boyfriend, I should help throw it.