好想做一次（2020）

Oh. So handsome. Just like his grandfather.
我等你一个人时再过来
I'll come back when you're alone.
乖乖 花心大少
Damn, player.
你还好意思讲这种话？我都看到石膏上的心心了
Well, look who's talking. I noticed all those hearts on the cast.
你也知道 我跟你学的
Yeah, you know. I get it from you.
最好是
Yeah.
-爷爷？-怎样？
-Hey, Ojichan? -Yeah?
-可以问一个问题吗？-问吧
-Can I ask you something? -Sure.
你觉得我笨到上不了大学吗？
Do you think I'm too stupid to go to college?
什么？谁讲的？
What? Who told you that?
基本上每个人都这样说 包括爸妈
Basically everyone, including my parents.
他们懂什么？
Oh, what do they know?
别搞错意思 我很爱他们
Look, don't get me wrong. I mean, I love them,
但是他们晒太多太阳 脑袋烧坏了
but they spend too much time in the sun. It cooks their brains.
你当然有上大学的脑袋
You are smart enough to go to college.
你才五岁就能讲流利日语
You were fluent in Japanese by the time you were five.
我觉得你是个天才
I think you are a genius.
谢谢 爷爷
Arigato, Ojichan.
派克斯顿 每个人对你会有不同想法
Paxton, people are going to think all sorts of things about you.
觉得你很笨 不属于某个圈子
That you're not smart, that you don't belong,
但你是整个安养中心最帅的男人
that you're the handsomest man in the whole assisted living center.
什么事？
Yeah?
泰德 我帮你准备了烤鸡
Oh, Ted. I made you a chicken.
葛芮蒂 我在忙
I'm busy, Gladys!
派克斯顿 真正重要的 是你对自己的想法
But, Paxton, the only opinion of you that truly matters is yourself.
所以要为自己争取荣耀 好吗？
So make yourself proud. Okay?
现在 我要把这个给你
Now, I want to give this to you.
在这儿
Here.
你每次都想送我 这只是一箱你不想看的书
You try and give this to me every time. It's a box of books you don't want.
不对 这些是传家之宝 有的已经非常古老
No, they're family heirlooms. Some of them are very old.
真的？里面还有《阿凡达》电影小说
Really? Because this is the novelization of Avatar.
等我死了以后 你要珍惜这本书
And you will cherish it when I'm dead and gone,
把纳美人的智能传给你的孙子
and you will pass on the wisdom of the Na'vi to your grandchildren.
-谢谢 -现在想不想吃点烤鸡？
-Thank you. -Now, how about some chicken?
嗨 我觉得你应该做自己的木工作业
Oh. Hi. I think you should do your woodshop homework on your own.
里面是鸟饲料 所以很重
It's heavy because it's filled with birdseed,
可是我忘了做鸟的出入口
but I forgot to put a hole in it for the birds.
其实我不要你帮我做功课了
Yeah, I actually don't want you to do my homework anymore.
因为这个鸟窝很烂吗？我懂
Is it because of how bad the birdhouse is? I get it.
没有 跟鸟窝无关
No, no, it's not the birdhouse.
等一下 你在下面也做了屋顶？
Wait a minute. Is there a roof on the bottom of it too?
我一慌就乱做
I panicked.
其实我想了很多
Look, I've been thinking about it,
我不想用作弊的方式上大学
and I don't want to cheat my way into college,
所以你可以当我的真家教吗？
so can you tutor me, like, for real?
那当然
Of course.
太好了 "面对历史"课星期五要考试
Awesome. Well, we have that Facing History test on Friday.
可以从那边开始吗？
Maybe we can start there?
好啊 我很乐意
Yeah, sure. I'd love...
哇
Whoa.
好 谁在1945年10月的英国报上 发明了"冷战"一词？
All right, who coined the term Cold War in the British press in October 1945?
我不知道 俄♥国♥吗？
I don't know. Russia?
不对 是乔治欧威尔
No. George Orwell.
你觉得全俄♥国♥人
You think the whole country of Russia
都坐在打字机前写文章吗？
sat down at a typewriter and wrote an essay?
我不知道 这种东西好难
I don't know. This stuff's hard.
不能想办法让历史变有趣吗？
Can't you at least try and make it more interesting?
像《汉密尔顿》音乐剧 用饶舌曲唱出历史？
Like, rap all the facts like they did in Hamilton?
我不行啦 我不会 唱
I can't do that. I don't know… how.
对
Yeah.
死了 拜托别唱了
Oh no. Make it stop.
苏联发射史普尼克 但他们该去吸鸡鸡
Soviets put out Sputnik But they can suck a dick…
我不行 我不玩了
I can't. I'm bailing. I'm bailing.
你刚才叫人造卫星吸鸡鸡？
Did you just tell a satellite to suck a dick?
你记得史普尼克是人造卫星？
And did you just remember what Sputnik was?
真的耶
Oh, I did.
有人学到东西啰
Someone's learning.
你房♥间里怎么有男生？还把门关起来
What is a boy doing in your room with the door closed?
妈 我只是当他的家教 别紧张
Mom, I'm just tutoring him. Relax.
他要你当家教？
He wants tutoring?
好 但你当家教 可以离远一点吧？移开
Fine, but you can tutor him from further away, right? Move!
-好啦 -你们在用功 不是教探戈舞
-Okay. -It's studying, not tango class.
里面有男生？
There's a boy here?
你好帅喔
Oh, you're handsome.
你是什么种族的？让我猜三次
What's your ethnicity? Let me have three guesses.
不行 不要这样 走吧
No, no, no, let's not do that. Come, come.
迪薇 门要打开
Devi, door stays open.
这就是我成绩好的原因
That… That right there is why I'm good at school.
我跟一群很烦的印度女人住
I live with an army of badgering Indian women.
我妈说只要成绩低于"A"
My mom will threaten me with bodily harm
她就会体罚 给我学习动机
if I make anything below an "A." It's highly motivating.
天啊 我知道了 我当你的印度虎妈
Oh my God, I've got it. I will be your overbearing Indian mother.
这样也许有用
That could work,
可是你当我妈不是有点乱来吗？
but isn't it a little messed up for you to act like my mom?
为什么？
Why?
我不知道 因为我们交往过
I don't know, because we used to hook up.
派克斯顿 拜托 住手
Paxton! Boy, stop.
你的这双蒙胧电眼会迷死人
You know what you're doing with those bedroom eyes.
好耶
Oh, nice.
苏联和几个东欧国家
What's the name of the military alliance
组成的军事同盟叫什么？
between the Soviet Union and several Eastern European countries?
华沙公约组织 铁铮铮的事实 看吧 我也会饶舌乐
The Warsaw Pact, and that's a fact. See? I can rap too.
一流的饶舌曲 好 第一个美国太空人是谁？
Quality rapping. Okay, who was the first American man in space?
等一下 这个有口诀
Wait, we had a trick for this one.
太空 月球 数羊 羊皮"靴" 是亚伦"薛"帕德
Space, the moon, counting sheep, shepherd. Alan Shepard!
-古巴导弹危机持续了几天？-12天
-How long was the Cuban Missile Crisis? -Twelve days.
搞什么？
What the hell?
你刚刚丢你全家人的脸
You just brought shame to your whole family.
为什么不学你表哥？
Why can't you be more like your cousin?
我表哥在大♥麻♥店工作
My cousin works at a weed dispensary.
让我把一点知识 呼到你的大脑里 13天啦
Well, let me just dispense some knowledge into your brain. It was 13 days.
靠
Shit.
没关系 你一定没问题
Hey, it's okay. You got this.
-喂 "买♥♥鸡排" -跟你说过不要这样叫我
-Yo, Maxi-Pax. -Told you not to call me that, bro.
我知道 不过
No doubt, but look,
我趁夏皮罗老师出去吃巴西莓果时 偷了考试答案
I snuck the answers to the test while Shapiro was out eating an açaí bowl.
现在全写在大腿上
Look, I wrote them on my thigh.
来 你想抄吗？
Here. Do you want to copy them down?
不用了 我没问题 我有念书
Nah, man, I'm good. I studied.
什么？你有念书？
What? You studied?
你为什么不能学你表弟卖♥♥大♥麻♥？
Why can't you be more like your cousin, the weed dealer?
好 他写名字了 这下有望了
All right. He wrote his name. We're on a roll.
糟糕 简答题？选择题死去哪里了？
Oh no. Short answer? Where's the multiple choice?
好 我们一定能过 派克斯顿 你还记得北约是什么
Okay. We can do this, Paxton. You remember what NATO is.
就是北大西洋公约组织
It's the North Atlantic Treaty Organization.
北大西洋公约组织
The North Atlantic Treaty Organization.
拜托 孩子 先写"北"吧
Come on, kid, just write "North."
只有混♥蛋♥才会笑着考试
Ugh! Only an asshole would smile during a test.
快动笔啦 小派 写什么都好
Just start writing, Pax. Write anything.
不行 别慌 深呼
No, no, no. Don't panic. Take a deep...
糟糕 他闪人了
Oh damn.xa0He gone.
你还好吧？怎么回事？
Hey, are you okay? What happened?
我不知道 刚才超级扯的
I don't know. It was the craziest thing.
我心跳加速 好像无法呼吸
My… My heart was racing, and I felt like I couldn't breathe.
考个历史科也会这样 我怎么了？
I mean, all over a history test. What's wrong with me?
你应该是惊慌过度
I think you had a little panic attack.
我以前在游泳比赛前会紧张
I… I used to get nervous before swim meets,
但一下水就不会 因为我知道我很强
but, I mean, once I hit the water, it went away because I knew I was good at it.
你也可以功课好 只要练习就行了
Well, you can be good at school too. You just need to practice.
你第一次游蝶式就很厉害吗？
Were you good at the butterfly the first time you tried it?
对啊 还打破学校纪录