好想做一次（2020）

Zero?
我也这么觉得
That's what I thought.
卡梅拉来了 你真好 裴桑
Here comes Kamala. You're a good guy, Prashant.
如果你需要什么建议 欢迎发问
Let me know if you ever need any advice.
我在很多方面都很成熟
I'm really mature about tons of shit.
我想也是 谢谢迪薇
I'm sure you are. Thank you, Devi.
走开
Move.
交给你了
He's all yours.
嗨 我一直在想 等我过几周后跑去找你时
Hey, so I was brainstorming things we could do together
要做什么
when I visit you in a couple of weeks.
要不要去看吉米金莫的现场节目？
What do you think about going to see Jimmy Kimmel?
我超爱吉耶莫的
I just love Guillermo.
对喔 你要来了 真是太好了
Right, you're visiting. That'll be cool.
好 你的高兴程度感觉起来就像是
Okay, that feels like the same level of excitement you'd reserve
看见你 该怎么说？
for someone you, what's the word?
讨厌的人
Detest?
对不起 裴桑 我看到你是很高兴
I'm sorry. I am excited to see you, Prashant.
我今天换实验室第一天 感觉却很差
I had the first day of my new rotation, and it didn't go great.
可是彼得博士 在干细胞领域是天王 怎么了？
But Dr. Peters is the LeBron of stem cell research. What happened?
我根本就没办法跟他讲话
I didn't even really get to talk to him.
我帮一堆宅男科学家
I had to spend most of the day cleaning beakers
洗了整天的烧杯 他们还不跟我讲话
for a bunch of nerdy scientists who barely talked to me.
前几天总是比较尴尬
First days are always weird.
等你们混熟了 情况一定会变好
I'm sure it will get better once you all get to know each other.
而且怎么可能有人不喜欢你？
Besides, how can anyone not like you?
谢谢你 裴桑
Thank you, Prashant.
也许明天会好一点
Maybe tomorrow will be better.
而且我订了《吉米金莫》节目的票
Oh, and I already booked us Jimmy Kimmel tickets.
我也很爱吉耶莫
I, too, love Guillermo.
第二天早上 迪薇列出
The next morning, Devi was recounting
昨晚跟派克斯顿和他朋友
the excruciating details of her
一起"非约会"的惨痛细节
non-date with Paxton and his friends.
没有烛光晚餐？
No candlelit dinner?
没用玫瑰花瓣铺满通往卧室的路上？
No rose petals in a little trail leading to the bedroom door?
也没在超大的心形床上铺更多花瓣？
Where he's arranged more petals in a giant heart in his California king bed?
如果以前够明显了还看不出来
If it wasn't obvious to you before,
听好了 这两个女生都是处♥女♥
these two girls are both virgins.
他的朋友还不肯走
His friends didn't even leave.
等到川特吃披萨吃到吐后 我就闪人
I finally took off when Trent ate way too much pizza and barfed.
派克斯顿大概只想当朋友吧
I guess Paxton just wants to be friends.
也许这样最好 毕竟他的阴♥茎♥太大了
Maybe it's for the best. His penis is too big.
对 他前几天在接送区穿灰色运动裤
Yeah, he was wearing gray sweatpants the other day at drop off.
结果我妈看到撞校车
My mom rear-ended a bus.
这样也好 小班喜欢我 我也喜欢他
Well, this is great because Ben's into me, and I'm into him.
所以我就跟小班交往 然后去印度
So I'll just chill on the B train until I have to go to India.
搞定
Problem solved.
对啊 而且小班的阴♥茎♥好像比较正常
Yeah, and Ben's penis seems more normal.
-宝贝 -嘿
-Hey, babe. -Hey.
我们几个人明天晚上 想参加《拉字至上》猜谜活动
A bunch of us were thinking about going to an L Word trivia night tomorrow.
-你想去吗？-好啊 没问题
-Do you want to come? -Sure. Yeah.
我看过那部剧 "拉"代表女同志
I watch that show. The "L" stands for lesbian.
太强了 小法
Good work, Fab.
一听就知道你是最潮的年轻女同志
You really sound like a hip, young, gay woman.
名作家亨利大卫梭罗说过
Henry David Thoreau once said,
"我到这座森林是为了过严谨的生活
"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately,
不想在死前才发现自己从来没活过"
and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."
对 可是他讲的是瓦尔登湖
Yeah, but he was talking about Walden Pond.
这里是一堆垃圾的帕科马空地
This is a field full of trash in Pacoima.
好酷 有保险套
Aw, cool! A condom!
没错 川特 避孕措施很酷
That's right, Trent. Contraception is cool.
避孕让妇女得以加入职场
It's what allowed women to join the workforce.
这个东西 就是自♥由♥
This right here is freedom.
好 大家分组
All righty. Everybody partner up.
小班 要跟我一起捡垃圾吗？
Hey, Ben, want to pick up trash with me?
我负责水坑 免得你的球鞋脏掉
I'll do puddles so you don't stain your sneakers.
好 但是不要拖慢我的速度
Deal, but just don't slow me down.
我想在午餐前捡满十袋
I'm trying to fill ten bags by lunch
这样才能接受记者采访
so I can be interviewed by the local paper.
这是大头照？
Is this a headshot?
洛杉矶的垃圾好让人难过
Wow, LA trash is depressing.
对啊 我好像看到隆胸用的硅胶
I know. I think I saw a silicone breast implant.
所以 关于昨天的事
So, about yesterday,
我考虑过你说的话 我答应
I thought about what you said, and… I'm in.
我想当你的女朋友
I'd like to be your girlfriend.
只要我们不自相残杀 应该会不错
As long as we don't kill each other, I think it could be nice.
-真的？-对
-Yeah? -Yeah.
好 太棒了
Okay. That's awesome.
A片奖？年度最佳人母女♥优♥
An AVN award? For MILF performer of the year.
太惨了
That's bleak.
-嗨 -嗨
-Hey. -Hey.
你要找川特的话 他在那边朝臭鼬尸体尿尿
Uh, if you're looking for Trent, he's over there peeing on a dead skunk.
其实我是要找你
Well, I was actually looking for you.
可以跟你讲一下话吗？
Can I talk to you for a sec?
你为什么不跟我一组？我以为我们是一对
Why didn't you pick me to be your partner? I thought we had like something going on.
你在说什么？你只是把我当一般朋友
What are you talking about? You clearly don't like me like that.
没这回事 我不喜欢你的话 干嘛邀你去约会？
Yeah, I do. Why would I take you on a date if I didn't like you?
那不是约会 你的朋友在场
That wasn't a date. Your friends were there.
我每次约会都找朋友啊 他们会在亲热时闪人
My friends are always on my dates. They leave when it's time to hook up.
我们昨天本来可以亲热的 可是川特一吐你就跑了
Like, last night we could have hooked up, but then Trent barfed, and you left.
对 我跑了
Yeah. I left
因为川特在我们约会时呕吐
because Trent was barfing on our date.
好 你说得对
Okay, you're right.
呕吐的确很煞风景
The barfing wasn't ideal,
可是我不知道你想要一对一约会
but I didn't realize you wanted it to be like a one-on-one thing.
约会的定义就是一对一
That's what a date is by definition.
好啦 我就跟你来一场真正的约会
Fine. Okay. I… I will take you on a real date.
现在太晚了 而且我要搬到印度去
It's too late now. And besides, I'm moving to India.
你要搬到印度 永远不回来？
You're moving to India? Like, forever?
对 大概一个月后
Yeah. Like, in a month.
那就得把握时间了
We'll have to make this time count.
知道吗？因为我的谈判技巧高明
Guess what? Due to my negotiating savvy,
所以用高价把我的病患名单 卖♥♥给杰克森医生
I was able to sell my patient roster to Dr. Jackson for a king's ransom.
太棒了 妈 可是杰克森医生有给你试用品吗？
That's awesome, Mom, but did Dr. Jackson give you any samples?
你的白♥痴♥试用品在这里 其实没多好
Here are your stupid samples. They're not that great.
哇 玻尿酸 大丰收
Whoa, hyaluronic acid. Score.
所以你的无聊捡垃圾活动怎么样？
So, how was your useless trash picking day?
我缴税送你上学 结果你去
I love that I pay taxes to send you to school
做政♥府♥收税该做的事
to do another thing I pay taxes for.
还可以啦
Uh, it was fine.
你最好别再亲别的男生
You better not be kissing any more boys.
你为什么要用复数？
Why would you say "boys" plural?
因为现在一个男生都不行
Because they are all off limits.
跟唐娜上♥床♥后 唤醒我内在的情欲
Making love to Donna awakened something in me.
《拉字至上》 你看新版还是原版？
Ooh! The L Word. Are you watching the new one or the old one?
还有原版？
There is an old one?
到底有几个小时？
How many hours is that?
管那么多干嘛？我的新闻才劲爆
Guys, who cares? I have bigger news.
派克斯顿在公园吻我
Paxton kissed me in the park.
什么？
What?
我要怎么办？
What am I gonna do?
我不想跟小班分手 他让我超有干劲
I don't wanna break up with Ben. He really pushes me.
我今天捡了15袋垃圾
I filled up 15 bags of garbage today.
所以你要跟派克斯顿分手？
So you're gonna break up with Paxton?
当然不要 我每个帐号♥的密♥码♥ 都是"派克斯顿69"
Of course not. Paxton69! is the password to all of my accounts.
你一定得做个选择啊 不然还有什么办法？
You definitely have to choose. I mean…
在搬到印度前同时交两个男朋友？
…what's the alternative? Date two guys until you move to India?
就是这个 迪薇就是要听这句话
And that was it. That was all Devi needed to hear.
他们发现的话一定会气死
If they found out, they'd be so pissed.
不过你到时在印度 所以也没差
I mean, you'll be in India, so you'll kinda be off the hook but…
这办法解决了她的难题
A way out of her predicament
既不必反省 也不必做出成熟的决定