好想做一次（2020）

我刚刚向那颗流星许愿
I was just making a wish on that shooting star.
那是直升机
That's a helicopter.
原来 眼力真好
Oh. So it is. Good eye.
我以为艾莉诺要一个人来
I thought Eleanor was coming alone.
小班？你怎么来了？
Ben? What are you doing here?
小班和我是犹太学校的老朋友
Uh, Ben and I are old Hebrew school comrades.
我们以前都戴同款的犹太帽
We used to wear matching Clippers yarmulkes.
抱歉 麦坎没说小班会来
Sorry. Malcolm didn't tell me Ben would be here.
你想走的话我能了解 但我真的不想走
I understand if you wanna leave, but I really don't want to.
奥立佛呢？
Oliver?
各位 这位是新生阿妮莎 这位是小班 这位是麦坎
Guys, this is Aneesa. She's new. This is Ben. This is Malcolm.
嗨 很高兴能在这个恐怖空地见面
Hi! Nice to meet you in this creepy abandoned lot.
你是新生 所以我好心跟你说 你旁边这个人超难聊的
Since you're new, I should tell you that you're hanging out with a social grenade.
你这把年纪还去儿童理发厅
I'm not gonna take social advice
我才不要听你的交友建言呢
from a guy who looks like he gets his hair cut by a children's barber.
赞 阿妮莎 她把小班电得好惨
Yes, Aneesa! She just burned Ben so hard.
也许迪薇真的看错她了
Maybe Devi had been wrong about her.
所以呢？我从五岁起就给安东剪了
So? I've seen Antoine since I was five.
他最了解我的头形 而且还送我糖果
He knows my scalp better than anyone, and I get free candy.
现在你的迪士尼节目结束了
Now that you're done with your Disney show,
接下来呢 麦坎？
what's next for you, Malcolm?
我不知道 我想摆脱儿童节目了
I don't know. I'm ready to move on from that kid stuff.
我想演个烟毒犯或丑八怪
I wanna play like a heroin addict or like an ugly person.
你们知道我想重新诠释哪个角色吗？
Or you know what I think that I would have a fresh take on?
小丑
The Joker.
我的演法是用笑容掩盖悲伤
In my version, the smile is hiding his sadness.
哇 好黑暗又变♥态♥
Uh, wow. That's so dark and twisted.
我知道 我要观众知道我不只是
I know. I want people to see me as more than just a kid
开魔法加长礼车的小孩
who drives around in a magical limo.
你可以学很多童星殴打摄影师
You could do what a lot of teen stars do and punch a photographer.
也可以弄一堆刺青
Or you could get a bunch of tattoos.
这个办法不错
That's a great idea.
我不是说打摄影师那个 是刺青 我今晚就去刺青
Not the photographer one, the tattoo. I'm gonna get a tattoo tonight.
什么？
Oh! What?
等一下 你今晚要去刺青店？
Wait. You wanna go to a tattoo parlor tonight?
靠 今晚一定超好玩
Damn, this night is getting fun as hell!
对吧？
Right?
喂 重逢的感觉真好
Hey, it's really great to see you again.
而且没有你舅妈一直在后面想偷听
And not with your aunt hovering in the back trying to eavesdrop.
她还想给我怎么聊天的笔记
She likes to give me notes on our conversations.
看来我得多脸红几次
Apparently, I need to blush more.
其实我要给你个惊喜 我要搬到洛杉矶了
And actually, I have a surprise for you. I'm moving to LA.
什么？真的吗？
What? Really?
真的啊
Yes!
埃文来电
真的很对不起 我一定要接
I'm so sorry. I need to take this.
喂？
Hello?
喂 抱歉
Hey, sorry.
我知道我今天放你假 但是你必须来实验室
I know I gave you the night off, but I need you to come to the lab.
我晚餐吃到一半耶
I'm right in the middle of dinner.
我模仿《黑客帝国》的尼欧躲子弹时
Yeah, I was doing this spot-on impression of Neo in The Matrix, dodging bullets,
不小心打翻了你的一堆样本
and I knocked over a bunch of your samples,
所以需要你回来重做
so we need you to come back and redo them.
可以明天吗？我跟我男朋友来吃馆子
Can I do it tomorrow? I'm out to dinner with my boyfriend.
其实 我真的了解
Listen, I get it,
但彼得博士觉得 我们应该做出这种牺牲
but that's the kinda sacrifice that Dr. Peters expects from us.
好 我懂了 我马上过去
Yup, I got it. I'll be there shortly.
好乖 再
That's a good girl. See you...
要取消小菜吗？
Should I cancel our little plates?
我们真的可以来这里吗？
Are you sure we're allowed to be here?
别担心 我的替身杰瑞是老板 他从来不看身分证的
Don't worry. My stand-in, Jerry, owns this spot and he never cards anyone.
杰瑞 你好
What's up, Jerry?
我来刺青啦
Your boy needs some ink!
太好了 我喜欢在空白的画布上创作
Wonderful. I do love painting on a virgin canvas.
好耶 帮我刺吧 大哥
All right! Tat me up, brother!
小班那家伙为什么对你这么差？
Yo, why is that kid Ben such a dick to you?
其实是我的错
That's actually my fault.
两位小姐想打洞吗？
You girls thinking about getting pierced?
其实我一看你
For real, just looking at you,
就觉得你很适合穿鼻环
I think you could totally pull off a nose ring.
真的？
You think?
好吧 搞不好我今天就穿一个
Well, who knows? Maybe I'll get one tonight.
最好是 你这么怕你妈 绝对不敢
Right. You're way too scared of your mom to do it.
我才没有 我会穿的
No, I'm not. I'd do it.
是吗？好 你穿鼻环我就刺青
Yeah? Okay. If you get a nose ring, I'll get a tattoo.
你才不会 你老是说 死后要葬在犹太人墓园
You'd never! You're always talking about being buried in a Jewish cemetery.
对 我家族在克拉布维兹家族旁有位子
Yeah, my family has a plot next the Kravitzes.
我还是会葬在那里 因为你不会穿环
I'll still be buried there because you'll never get a piercing.
冷战几个星期后 他们总算跟以前一样斗嘴
After weeks of being iced out, this return to their normal repartee
迪薇心里燃起了希望
gave Devi a glimmer of hope.
只要在鼻子上打个小洞
She could get back in with Ben and impress Aneesa
就能跟小班恢复朋友关系 也能给阿妮莎好印象
just by poking one tiny hole in her nose.
没问题
You're on.
我妈别想管我怎么过活
My mom doesn't tell me how to live my life.
梅根西斯塔莉安才行
Megan Thee Stallion does.
你才没那个胆
You don't have the guts.
麻烦穿一个辣妹鼻环
One hot-girl nose ring, please!
我要来个刺青
And a tattoo for me.
好 坐上来吧
Okay, get in the chair.
你去后面找杰瑞
You go in the back and see Jerry.
他能用上千种方法在你手上刺个"妈"
He's got a million ways to put "mom" on your arm.
各位看
So check it out.
我回来时
When I got back there,
就跟自己说要造福全世界
I said to myself that I wanted to do something good for the world,
所以
so,
我刺了这个
I got this.
"成为肛友"
"Be anally."
什么？上面明明写"成为盟友"的
What? It clearly says, "Be an ally."
我竟然没发现 不过这样可能也好
Huh, I should've noticed that. This could be good for you though.
现在你绝对不能帮迪士尼频道演戏了
You'll definitely never work on the Disney Channel again.
哇 迪薇 你穿了鼻环？你妈会怎么说？
Whoa, Devi, did you get a nose ring? What's your mom gonna say?
不会说什么 我要在她看到前拿掉
Nothing. I'll take it out before she sees it,
她如果看到洞 我就说是飞镖射到的
and if she notices the hole, I'll just say I got hit by a dart.
我刺青了
I got my tattoo.
-你刺什么？-小小的篮球
-What is that? -It's a teeny basketball.
他问我喜欢什么 我就慌了
He asked me what I liked, and I panicked!
裴桑？
Prashant?
现在凌晨2点 你跑来干嘛？
It's 2:00 in the morning. What are you doing here?
我想那些混♥蛋♥应该走光了
I thought all the schlubs might be gone by now,
所以我想到这里跟你约会
so figured I'd bring date night to you.
餐厅都关门了 所以我从加油站
Restaurants are closed at this hour, so I brought a spread
买♥♥了满汉大餐过来
of the finest cuisine from the gas station.
裴桑 我真的很对不起
I'm so sorry, Prashant.
你大老远飞来 我却得帮同事擦屁♥股♥
You flew all the way here, and I'm cleaning up after my lab mates.
没关系
It's okay.
反正我要搬到加州了 以后会有很多时间在一起
Now that I'm gonna be a Cali boy, we'll have plenty of time to spend together.
真不敢相信你要搬来了
I can't believe you're moving here.
你真的高兴吗？
Well, are you even happy about it?
我当然高兴
Yes, of course!
抱歉 我那些实验室的废物同事好烦
I'm sorry, I'm just annoyed about my loser lab mates.
你知道他们在我工作时干嘛吗？
Do you know what they're doing right now while I work?
唱韩国流行歌♥的卡拉OK IG上面有
K-pop karaoke. I saw on Instagram.
他们还带了一样的衣服和小假发
They bought matching outfits and little wigs.
不过赛特西的歌♥喉很赞
Setseg sounds amazing though.
这样吧
Listen.
我跟很多像埃文的人工作过
I've worked with plenty of Evans before.
有时对付这种人唯一的方法 就是陪他们玩 懂吗？
Sometimes the only way to deal with them is just to play the game, you know?
玩什么？
What game?
他们应该不运动 我们有专门装气喘吸入器的柜子
I don't think they play sports. We have a cabinet just for inhalers.
不 我要你假装喜欢他们的宅男活动
No. I just mean that if you pretend to like their nerdy activities,
他们会邀你出去 也许让你负责更多实验工作