极品老妈

Mom S05E16

Part 1 Jan. 3, 2020, 9:59 p.m.

-大家好我是吉尔酒瘾者 -你好吉尔
- Hi, Jill, alcoholic. - Hi, Jill.
一切都很顺
Things are good.
我昨天得到了三十天纪念牌
I got my 30-day chip yesterday.
你们有些人当时不在
Some of y'all weren't there,
所以我现在给你们机会鼓掌
so I thought I'd give you a chance to applaud.
拜托卡拉不和她姐夫上♥床♥
Oh, come on! Carla got more applause
获得的掌声都比我热烈
for not sleeping with her brother-in-law.
好多了
Better.
总之我唯一的抱怨是现在我又是新人了
Anyway, my only complaint is, now that I'm a newcomer again,
所以一年都不该约会
I'm not supposed to date for a year.
这辆兰博基尼加满了油装饰一新
I mean, the Lamborghini's gassed up and fully detailed,
但玛乔丽都不让我出车♥库♥
but Marjorie won't let me take it out of the garage.
等等吧
Give it time.
嗡嗡玛乔丽嗡嗡
Vroom-vroom, Marjorie! Vroom-vroom!
我就说这么多
That's all I got.
-大家好我是邦妮酒瘾者 -你好邦妮
- Hi, Bonnie, alcoholic. - Hi, Bonnie.
你们有些人可能还记得
Some of you may recall my recent share
我最近分享过我未婚夫十七岁的狗
about my fiancé's 17-year-old dog
跨过了"彩虹桥"
crossing over the rainbow bridge.
我当时不在发生了什么
I wasn't here. What happened?
狗出柜吗
Dog went gay?
它死了
He died.
哦
Aw.
"哦"对了 "哦"得好 "哦"得没错
Yes “aw,” total “aw,” justified “aw.”
幸运的是参孙平静地在睡梦中死去
Thankfully, Samson died peacefully in his sleep
肚子上还放着一大块猪排
with a big ol' pork chop in his belly.
老天啊我也想这样死
God knows that's how I want to go.
问题是那是三周前的事了
The problem is, that was three weeks ago,
而亚当依然很难过
and Adam is still devastated.
这种事对我来说比较陌生
I am relatively new to this--
怎么叫来着感同身受
what's it called, empathy?
但他哀悼的五个阶段不是早该完了吗
But shouldn't he be through the five stages of grief by now?
他不刮胡子不洗澡穿着同一件运动衫
He's not shaving or showering; he's wearing the same sweatshirt
因为闻起来有他狗的味
because it smells like his dog,
也就是说我未婚夫有狗的味
which means my fiancé smells like a dog.
我想继续支持他但是...
I mean, I want to continue supporting him, but...
所以我要对你们说我无法对他说的话
So I will say to you what I can't say to him.
所有狗都会上天堂翻篇吧
All dogs go to heaven. Move on!
谢谢
Thanks.
大家好我是克丽丝蒂酒瘾者
Hi, Christy, alcoholic.
你好克丽丝蒂
Hi, Christy.
我和男友遇到了一点问题
So, I've been having some trouble with my boyfriend.
不他们是我心中的凯特和威廉
Oh, no. They're my Kate and William.
他的生日周末过得不是很好
His birthday weekend didn't go well,
所以我什么事都在过度考虑
so I've been overthinking everything.
他给我发短♥信♥问 "你好吗"
He texted me “How ya doin'?”
我吓坏了给他回了个奶牛的表情
and I panicked and sent him an emoji of a cow.
我都不知道那是什么意思
I have no idea what it meant.
今晚他想视频聊天
Tonight, he wants to Skype,
我不知道是性感聊天还是分手聊天
and I don't know whether it's a sexy Skype or a breakup Skype.
我是说我该穿什么
I mean, what do I wear?
我不想穿着激凸胸罩坐在那里
I don't want to be sitting there in my nipple-less bra when...
被他甩
he dumps me.
亲爱的
Oh, honey.
天啊
Oh, God!
这是感同身受对吧
This is empathy, right?
极品老妈第五季第十六集
亲爱的
Hey. Honey.
不好意思
Excuse me.
你是我未婚夫的儿子吗
Are you my fiance's son?
因为我现在涌起了禁忌之情
Because I'm having some forbidden feelings.
对对对我洗澡和刮胡子了
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I showered and shaved.
干净的头发牙齿和内♥裤♥
Clean hair, clean teeth, clean underwear.
等等这是什么味道
Wait, what's that I smell?
嗯没有味道
Mmm. It's nothing!
我觉得我准备好洗狗碗然后收起来了
I think I'm ready to wash the dog bowls and put them away.
有进步太棒了我喜欢不如你让我做吧
Progress. Awesome, I love it. Why don't you let me do it.
你去看电视放松一下
You go watch some TV and just relax.
谢谢宝贝
Thanks, babe.
我想着也许晚些时候我们可以出去吃晚餐
Hey, I was thinking maybe later we could go out for dinner.
我们可以去那家
We could go to that place
把虾丢进你嘴里的餐厅
where they flip the shrimp in your mouth.
好我喜欢那餐厅
Yeah, I like that place.
记得我用乳♥沟♥接虾那次吗
Remember when I caught one in my cleavage?
嗯每个人都很享受
Ah, everybody enjoyed that.
这个必须泡泡
This one's got to soak.
它不只是一只狗
He's more than a dog.
它是你最好的朋友
He's your best friend.
你在看什么你在看什么
What are you watching? What are you watching?
只是一个愚蠢的广♥告♥
Ah, it's just a stupid commercial.
他们是最好的朋友他们一起长大
They're best friends. They grew up together.
但它现在太老了跳不上卡车了
But now he's too old to jump in the truck.
我不在亚当家过夜了
Well, I'm not spending the night at Adam's.
哭唧唧又回来了
Weepy Sue is back with a vengeance.
我发誓这辈子的悲伤都让我见识完了
I swear I've had all the sadness I can take for a lifetime.
不发生了什么
Oh, no. What happened?
那不是性感聊天是分手聊天
It wasn't sexy Skype. It was breakup Skype.
亲爱的
Oh, honey.
我很遗憾
I'm sorry.
至少你穿得很得体
At least you dressed appropriately.
我做了两手准备
I was ready for both.
挺美的
Oh, that's pretty.
谢谢新买♥♥的
Thanks. It's new.
帕特里克说什么
What did Patrick say?
他要我去和他同居
He asked me to go live with him.
他说他会照顾好我
He said he would take care of me,
我不用再做那么多工作
that I wouldn't have to work so much.
这样我们能花更多时间共处
That way, we could spend more time together.
但我拒绝了所以他和我分手了
But I said no, so he broke up with me.
好的
Okay.
你为什么拒绝啊
Why the hell would you say no?
我不能搬去三小时车程的地方
I can't move three hours away.
我的生活在这里
I have a life here.
这还叫生活
Ish.
听着这也许不是好生活但也是生活
Look, it may not be a great life, but it is a life.
我没准备好放弃这一切
I'm not ready to just give all that up.
不管怎样我都支持你亲爱的
Well, I support you no matter what, sweetie.
谢谢妈妈
Thanks, Mom.
不如我给你泡些茶
How 'bout I make you some tea,
你去看电视分分心吧
and you go watch some TV and-and get your mind off it.
好的
I'd like that.
你在对我做什么
What are you doing to me?
请继续收看《真爱至上》
We now return to Love Actually.
不
Nope.
-亚当情况如何 -不太好
-So how's Adam doing? - Not great.
昨晚我给他做了热狗他突然哭了
Last night, I made him hot dogs and he burst into tears.
这关联也太薄弱了吧
I mean, that is a whisper-thin connection.
邦妮每个人哀悼的时长都不一样
Bonnie, everybody takes a different amount of time to process grief.
我知道他很受伤我爱他
I know the guy's hurting, and I love him,
但是王母娘娘啊这太难了
but sweet mother of pearl, this is hard.
我给他纸巾我抱着他我给他熬汤
I give him tissues, I hold him, I make him soup.
为什么伤心的人总要喝汤
And what is the deal with sad people and soup?
他一直想喝汤
He can't get enough soup.
动物死时太令人沮丧了
It's too depressing when animals die.
所以我才当不成兽医
It's why I couldn't become a vet.
但你当了急诊室护士
And yet you became an emergency room nurse.
你想说什么
What's your point?
我觉得表达情感的男人很性感
I think it's sexy when a man's in touch with his emotions.
我的三花猫詹尼斯·乔普林死时维克托哭了
Victor cried when my calico Janis Joplin died.
我们那晚开着灯做的爱
We made love with the lights on that night.
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