极品老妈

Mom S05E14

Part 1 Jan. 3, 2020, 9:58 p.m.

我是克丽丝蒂我是酒瘾者
Hi. My name is Christy. I'm an alcoholic.
克丽丝蒂
Hi, Christy.
然后
And, uh...
我就说这么多
that's all I got.
我觉得还没完
I think there's more.
我的计划是当律师你们支持了我并且说
The plan was to be a lawyer, and you guys supported me and said,
去追梦吧克丽丝蒂你能做到
"Oh, go for it, Christy. You can do it."
结果我申请的每所法学院都不同意
Turns out every law school I applied to disagrees.
我无法形容你们让我相信自己
And I can't tell you how mean it was
是一件多么刻薄的事
of all you people to make me believe in myself.
我不知道你们晚上怎么安睡的
I don't know how you sleep at night.
所以非常感谢
So, thanks a lot.
还没完
Still no.
总之那些说
Anyway, for all of you who say,
"戒酒后充满奇迹"的人
"Oh, sobriety's full of miracles..."
抱歉我应该以正能量结尾所以
Sorry. I should end on a positive note, so...
吉尔酒瘾者
Hi. Jill, alcoholic.
吉尔
Hi, Jill.
适应现实世界非常难
Well, transitioning back to the real world has been really tough.
在康复中心时健康饮食很简单
Eating healthy was so easy at the wellness retreat.
那里禁止吃碳水化合物
I mean, carbs weren't allowed on the premises,
有一位内在力量教练24小时待命
and I had a inner strength coach on call 24 hours a day.
但在冷冻甜点过道
It's just not the same
用颤抖的手拿着莎拉李蛋糕
FaceTiming her from the frozen dessert aisle
和她视频连线是不一样的
with a Sara Lee strudel in my trembling hand.
我周围充满了诱惑
I mean, temptation's all around me.
每次我打开谷歌♥地图它都会提醒我
Every time I open Google Maps, it reminds me that I live
我家边八分之三英里有一家帕金斯煎饼屋
three-eighths of a mile from a Perkins Pancake House.
他们整晚营业
And they're open all night.
在你心烦意乱的黑暗时刻
You know, during those dark hours when you can't stop your thoughts.
比如现在
Like right now.
你们也听到冰激凌车的声音了吧
Wait, you all hear that ice cream truck, too, right?
瞧瞧
Hey, look at that.
前面正好有车位
A spot right in front.
这就是向停车之神祈祷的好处
That's what you get for praying to the parking gods.
你唯一信的神
The only god you believe in.
不对我也信乐透之神
Not true. I also believe in the lotto god.
该死
Son of a bitch!
小个子大摩托
Little guy, big motorcycle.
鸡鸡小
Tiny wiener.
妹子我们先来的
Hey, buddy, we were here first.
你们曾是先来的
You were here first.
你们有过机会但你们没抓住
You had an opportunity, but you didn't take it.
得到教训了吧
Lesson learned.
瞧瞧这小布偶觉得我还有的教
Check it out, this Muppet thinks I'm teachable.
米兰达你来了
Miranda, you're here!
吉尔
Oh, Jill!
你认识她
You know her?
当然了
Of course.
她是我在康复中心的内在力量教练
She's my inner strength coach from the retreat.
她是个混♥蛋♥
Well, she's a dick.
你一定是邦妮
Oh, you must be Bonnie.
很多人都听说过我你没什么特别的
Many people have heard of me; you're not special.
非常感谢你来
Thank you so much for coming.
当我的迷途小兔叫我时我一定来
When one of my little lost bunnies calls me, I'm here.
能量拥抱
Energy hug.
我想留下取笑这鬼玩意
I'd like to stay and mock whatever this is,
但我们还得停车
but we still got to park.
试试拐角我给你占座
Ah. Try around the corner. I'll save you a seat.
邦妮记住看到车位就停进去
Hey, Bonnie, remember, see the space, take the space.
看到我的脚就挨踢吧
Hey, see my foot, watch your ass.
极品老妈第五季第十四集
天啊你在这里我感觉安全多了
Oh, my God, just having you here, I feel safer.
我觉得我终于不会再梦见甜甜圈了
I think the donut dreams are finally gonna stop.
吉尔唯一能让你有安全感的是你自己
Jill, the only person that can make you feel safe is you.
消防队员呢
What about a fireman?
他们总是让我有安全感
They always make me feel safe.
但你跟他们其中一人在储藏室里亲热以后
Except when you fool around with one of them in the supply closet
下次他们带来烧伤者时
and the next time they bring in a burn victim,
会装作不认识你
it's all, "Do I know you?"
那让你有什么感觉
And how does that make you feel?
我习惯了
I'm used to it.
温蒂生气是可以的
Wendy, it's okay to be angry.
你有自己的声音我们需要听到
You have a voice and we need to hear it.
好
Okay.
试试这样
Try this.
我会被听到
I will be heard!
我会被听到
I will be heard.
她声音竟然更小了
Wow, she actually got quieter.
最近的空位是家得宝停车场
Turns out the closest spot was the Home Depot parking lot,
四分之三英里远
three-quarters of a mile away.
我必须买♥♥了这个以防他们拖走我的车
I had to buy this so they don't tow me.
我错过了什么
So, what did I miss?
米兰达在帮温蒂找到她的声音
Miranda is helping Wendy find her voice.
你确定想点燃那根引线吗
You sure that's a fuse you want to light?
别管闲事
Hey, back off!
狮子温蒂出现了
There's Wendy the Lion.
好吧锤子给我
All right, give me the hammer.
好这更明智
Yeah. That's probably smart.
米兰达告诉我们
So, Miranda, tell us,
你在康复中心到底做什么
what exactly do you do at the retreat?
其实很简单
Oh, it's simple, really.
每个人都有未开♥发♥的力量源泉
Everyone has an untapped reservoir of strength,
我的任务是帮他们插入开♥发♥
and it's my calling to help them frack their way into it.
"插入"
Frack.
真不错
That's wonderful.
这个女人救了我
This woman saved me.
我在康复中心待了三周
I'd been at the retreat for three weeks
只减了半磅直到米兰达
and only lost half a pound when Miranda looked me
直视我的双眼说
straight in the eyes and said...
我看到你了
I see you.
-你真看到了不是吗 -是的
- You do, don't you? u202d- Yeah.
她在我身旁支持了我12周
She stood by my side for the next 12 weeks,
砰瞧瞧发生了什么
and bam, look what happened.
我又变成了这里最性感的女人
I'm back to being the hottest one here.
吉尔我们谈过这个
Jill, we talked about this.
抱歉
Sorry.
每个人都有自己独特的美
Everyone's beautiful in their own peculiar way.
好些了
Better.
这怎么能算好些了
How is that better?
你一定要记住
It's important for you to remember
你一直都有改变的力量
that you had the power to change all along.
我一直心心念念奶油芝士糖霜
I've been obsessing over German chocolate cake
德国巧克力蛋糕
with cream cheese frosting
认为它能解决我的所有问题
and how it would solve all my problems.
别想你的问题想想你的力量
Get out of your problems, get into your power.
我觉得我在康复中心做得更好
I think I could do that better back at the retreat.
这意味着米兰达要离开吗
Aw, would that mean Miranda has to leave?
好吧再见
Oh, well, off you go.
吉尔不
Jill, no.
正念仙人掌确实是个好地方
The Mindful Cactus is a wonderful place,
但你要学会在现实世界生活
but you need to learn to live in the real world.
在现实世界中会有蛋糕
And in the real world, cake happens.
所以我能吃吗
So I can have some?
有节制地吃当然可以
In moderation, sure.
你拥有咬一口然后推开♥盘♥子的力量
You have the power to take a bite and push that plate away.
好吧米兰达我们不是那种
Uh, yeah, Miranda, we're not really
节制的女人
a moderation bunch of gals.
我曾经喝过地板清洁剂
I once drank floor cleaner.
锤子给我
Give me the hammer.
你没搞错吧