极品老妈

Mom S05E12

Part 1 Jan. 3, 2020, 9:58 p.m.

好了宝贝
And... here you go, babe.
你煮了咖啡吗
You made coffee?
更好科纳[夏威夷咖啡]
Better. Kona.
我更想喝咖啡
I was really looking forward to coffee,
但我会尝尝
but I'll give it a shot.
-我能按下去吗 -等鸭子叫完
- Can I push the thing down? - Not until the duck quacks.
现在按
And now.
别哭
Oh. Oh. Don't cry.
你做得很好
You did good.
不只是
No, it's just...
我一辈子都是看别人在电视广♥告♥里这样生活
all my life, I've seen people in TV commercials living like this.
我从没想过这种事会发生在我身上
I never thought it would happen to me.
这发生了而且不会停
Well, it's happening, and... it's not gonna stop.
-真的吗 -嗯
- Really? - Mm-hmm.
以后会有一辈子的毛绒长袍毛绒狗狗
There's gonna be fluffy robes, fluffy dogs
和手压式咖啡吗
and push-down coffee forever?
你想让我骗你吗当然
You want me to lie to you? Sure.
我希望我今晚不用回家
I wish I didn't have to go home tonight.
我也希望但你知道
Yeah, me, too. But, you know,
那还有好几个小时呢这样吧
it's... it's hours away. I'll tell you what.
我们何不在沙滩上散散步
Why don't we take a walk on the beach,
在码头上热热身子喝点蛤蜊浓汤
and then we'll warm up on the pier with some clam chowder.
盛在酵母面包里吗
In sourdough bowls?
面包总是令人失望但当然是的
Well, they're always disappointing, but sure.
那是什么
What's that?
我们的司康饼好了
Our scones are ready.
司康饼
Scones?
亲我让我知道这不是梦
Kiss me, so I know this is really happening.
我又变回我了
And I'm me again.
极品老妈第五季第十二集
《汉密尔顿》我们有《汉密尔顿》的票
Hamilton. We had tickets to Hamilton.
那是高中排演版邦妮
It was a high school production, Bonnie.
票依然很难搞到
Still a tough ticket.
抱歉我知道这很过分
I'm sorry. I know it's an imposition,
但我的车完全坏了
but my car is completely dead.
你为什么叫我们不叫帕特里克
Why did you call us instead of Patrick?
因为他是新男友一切都很完美
Because he's a new boyfriend and everything's perfect.
我不想让他知道我是一团糟
I don't want him to know what a mess I am.
你和老妈一起住还是个酒瘾者
You live with your mom and you're an alcoholic;
线索已经很明显了
those are fairly large bread crumbs.
修车工说什么
What'd the mechanic say?
我买♥♥到车以后
That I should have changed my oil
应该至少换一次机油
at least once since I got the car.
你从没换过机油吗
You never changed your oil?
我想换的我甚至在车上贴了张便利贴
I meant to. I even put a Post-it in my car
写着换机油
that said Change oil.
然后我用它包了口香糖那是五年前的事了
And then I put my gum in it, and that was five years ago.
你没车怎么生活啊
How are you gonna get by without a car?
-我想也许我妈妈... -不行
- I thought maybe my mom... - Nope!
-求你了 -我的车跑了40万英里
- Please? - My car has 400,000 miles on it.
让你的繁忙行程折腾一周我之后会把你
One week with your crazy schedule, and it'll just be me
挂在五十个气球上任你自生自灭
taping you to 50 balloons, hoping for the best.
那我能至少搭你的车去互助会吗
Well, can I at least hitch a ride to meetings?
当然可以
Of course.
但我在听西班牙语磁带
But I am listening to Spanish language tapes,
所以你必须闭嘴
so you'll have to shut-o El trap-o.
克丽丝蒂我愿意把面包车借你
Christy, I'd lend you my van,
但那车已经布置成专供我开了
but it's all set up for me to drive.
谢谢我会想办法的
Thanks. I'll figure something out.
-当心 -非常抱歉
- Watch it. - Oh, I'm so sorry.
对不起
I'm sorry.
对不起
I'm sorry,
我不得不把东西都放包里我的车坏了
I-I have to carry all my stuff in my bag; my car broke down.
没人在乎
No one cares!
拜托快点
Oh, man. Come on, come on, come on, come on.
-别 -干嘛
- Nope. - What?
勇士队落后两分还有三分钟
The Warriors are down by two with three minutes to go,
你每次进这房♥间斯蒂芬·库里都投偏
and every time you come in this room, Steph Curry misses.
我起来是给你做三明治去了
I got up to make you a sandwich.
你刚一走他就进了三分球
And the minute you left, he nailed a three-pointer.
-你疯了 -斯蒂芬无人盯防投篮啊
- You're insane. - Steph's open. Take the shot!
你害死我了
Oh, you're killing me!
你们知道有多少婴儿在公交上吐吗
Do you know how many babies throw up on the bus?
所有婴儿
All of them.
他们应该把歌♥词改成
They ought to change the song.
婴儿在公交上吐吐吐
The babies on the bus throw up, up, up.
你吃晚餐吗
Are you having dinner?
不我有十五分钟冲澡解乏
Nope. I've got 15 minutes to wash this day off of me,
换衣服然后去帕特里克家
change my clothes, and head out to Patrick's.
公交转货车转公交但值了
It's a bus to a train to another bus, but it's worth it.
是吗你看起来压力很大
Is it? 'Cause you seem a little stressed out.
真的吗你看出来了啊菲尔博士
Really? You picking up on that, Dr. Phil?
还有谁会觉得
And, by the way, who goes,
我在公交上该刮老茧了
Ey, I'm on a bus, time to shave my calluses?
要不我送你去车站吧
How about I give you a ride to the station?
要不你们去厨房♥说吧
Oh, man. How about you have this conversation in the kitchen?
因为他又投偏了
'Cause he just missed another shot.
抱歉斯蒂芬她们现在有两个人
I'm sorry, Steph, there's two of them now.
谢谢妈妈那就太好了
Thanks, Mom. That'd be great.
你可以站我旁边了中场休息
You may stand near me; it's a time-out.
她看起来很糟
She looks awful.
她能这样坚持多久啊
How long can she keep going on like this?
我不知道她很坚强
I don't know. She's pretty tough.
她曾在抽屉里睡了一整年
For one whole year, she slept in a drawer.
- 很多婴儿睡在抽屉里 -不她当时十三岁
- A lot of babies sleep in drawers. - No, she was 13.
她十三岁时能睡进抽屉里吗
She fit in a drawer when she was 13?
她现在依然能
She fits now.
听着
Listen,
我给克丽丝蒂借钱付买♥♥车首♥付♥怎么样
what if I lend Christy the money for a down payment on a car?
你真好心
That is so kind of you,
但如果你借了我会一拳打爆你的喉咙
but if you do, I will punch you right in the throat.
-为什么 -因为我爱你
- Why? - Because I love you.
-什么 -你给她借钱
- What? - You lend her money,
她还不起钱她开始回避你
she can't pay you back, she starts avoiding you,
你开始向我抱怨我去找她沟通
you start complaining to me, I bring it up to her,
她让我去死吧我对你生气
she tells me to go to hell, I get mad at you,
咱俩分手然后我只能去找
you and I break up, and I'm stuck with my backup guy
我在好市多轮胎部的备胎男
at the tire department at Costco.
你有个备胎男吗
You have a backup guy?
拜托好像你参加完我葬礼不会直接开车
Please. Like you wouldn't drive straight from my funeral
去乔氏超♥市♥接路易丝一样
to Trader Joe's to pick up Louise.
什么
What?
她是叫这名字吗
Is that her name?
别装了
Oh, shut up.
没有人会问那么多关于奶酪的问题
Nobody has that many questions about cheese.
你想要人帮忙吗
You need some help with that?
你想被睫毛笔戳眼吗
You need a mascara wand in your eye?
-你来了 -嗨
- There you are. - Hi.
我好担心你
I was so worried about you.
我给你发了三个小时短♥信♥
I mean, I was texting you for, like, three hours.
-是啊对此我很抱歉 -没关系
- Yeah. Sorry about that. - That's okay.
电♥话♥没电了坐公交来的开干吧
Phone died, took a bus, let's get it on.
等等
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
-你为什么坐公交 -车坏了
- Why were you on a bus? - Ah, car died.
没换机油去搞吧
Didn't change the oil. Let's get it on.
等等稍等
Oh, wait, wait. Hold on.
你从纳帕谷坐公交来的吗
Y-You took a bus all the way down from Napa?
还转了火车和公交
And a train and another bus.
-你裤子为什么还穿着 -好我脱裤子
- Why are your pants still on? - Okay, I'm taking my pants off.
脱了但是
Taking them off. But hey, but, uh,
明天我们去给你买♥♥车