寻（2014）

I'm not It's a discussion.
我没有... 我们在讨论而已
I'm not mad, I'm just confused.
我没有生气 我只是不解
I guess I always assumed that we were going to be exclusive.
我一直以为咱俩会对彼此专一的
So it's a little bit of a shock to find out
所以当我在搬家这一天发现
on the moving-in day that
你连忠于彼此的念头都没有
you don't even want to try and be monogamous.
这让我很震惊
Okay, monogamy, Patrick-- monogamy,
好了 帕特里克 你想要专一
why? Why is that so important to you?
为什么你把这看得这么重
Have you ever asked yourself that? Why?
你问过你自己吗 到底为什么
I-- I don't know. I guess
我也不知道
I guess I've always just felt like I wanted to be devoted to someone,
我猜是因为我一直想能属于一个人
and feel like someone is also devoted to me.
也想要有人能完全属于我
Right, okay, well, your own mother doesn't believe in monogamy.
好 但连你妈都不专一地爱你♥爸♥
Oh wow, really? So Okay. Sorry
你是认真的吗 抱歉
You know what? Fuck you very much for a lovely day.
谢谢你给我那么操蛋的一天
You can just buzz me in or
我回来的时候
fob me in or whatever the fuck when I get back.
你可以给我开门 或者随便怎么地
Right now, I just want to go see my friends,
而现在 我只想去见我的朋友们
if I could just find my other fucking shoe!
前提是找到另一只天杀的鞋子
Are you seriously storming out?
你真的要这样一走了之吗
No, no, no. I just want to go to this mural.
不不 我只想去看看那副壁画
I'm actually super into trans issues right now.
我现在满脑子只想着那些变性孩子
You're blowing this so out of proportion.
你真的反应过度了
Oh, please.
得了吧
You bang on about honesty.
你义正言辞地要求我专一
Maybe you should look in the mirror.
怎么不先看看自己
I just did, and I look fine.
我看过了 很好啊
My hair is looking a little middle-aged lesbian, but whatever.
我的头发看着很像中年拉拉的 又怎样
Wasn't it you who wanted to have a little lookie-loo downstairs?
刚才不是你想要留在楼下看看的吗
And wasn't it you who called me up in the middle of the night
不是你在我和男友睡觉时
when I was in bed with my boyfriend
半夜打电♥话♥给我
to drive all the way out to the Russian River
让我千里迢迢跑到俄♥罗♥斯♥河
and fuck you against a redwood?
把你顶在树上狠狠操的吗
Again, that's different. I was single.
重申一次 那不一样 那时我单身
Oh-- oh, you were single? Sorry, yes. No, you were.
你当时单身的啊 抱歉我误解了
You were single. But then wasn't it you who let me fuck you,
那你和里奇在一起的时候
whilst you were still with Richie, without a condom?
怎么还让我无套干♥你♥
You cunt. Yeah. Look, I'm sorry.
你个王八蛋 听着 我很抱歉
I'm just feeling very anxious right now.
我现在觉得特别烦躁
What do I hit to go to lobby?
大厅在几楼
Do I have to get a fob to go down as well?
下去也要感应匙吗
Seriously, you're telling me there isn't a world where you might slip up?
说真的 难道你就不会犯错吗
Of course. Who the hell knows what could happen?
当然会 谁能预知未来会怎样
But the difference is I'm not looking for a hall pass to slip up.
可区别在于我并没有主动去犯错
Right, okay. Well, I'm gonna set the scene.
那好 我只是假设一下情景
The scene? The steam room at Fitness SF.
什么情景 在SF健身房♥的桑拿房♥
Well, I'm a member of World Gym, so whatever.
可我是环球健身房♥的会员 不管了
Whatever. And Zac Efron walks in--
随便了 突然扎克·埃夫隆走进来
Zac Rfron? Chris Pratt, Mark Ruffalo.
扎克·埃夫隆吗 星爵 马克·鲁法洛
One of those guys. They walk in, they sit down next to you
他们中的一人走了进来 坐在你旁边
And they start jerking off. Well, I don't know.
然后当着你的面打飞机 我不知道
Are we talking about real Ruffalo and Pratt
你说的是马克·鲁法洛和星爵本尊吗
or just guys that look like them?
还是单纯长得像而已
Whatever, Patrick, but they've got their dicks out,
随便你 但他们把那活儿放在你眼前
And they're nice, and they're new,
是那么的美妙和鲜活
and they're not like my boring old dick,
不像我这无聊的老鸡♥巴♥
and they want to play a little game of reach around.
他们还想鬼混一下
And you're telling me-- You're telling me
你是说... 难道
you wouldn't join in? You'd just leave?
你不想加入他们吗 扭头就走吗
Yes. That is bullshit.
是的 胡扯
Because I'm with you.
因为我有你在身边
Because I would put what I have with you over some quick thrill.
因为我不会为了一时的快♥感♥而背叛你
But it's just a hand job.
但就是打个飞机而已
It's just your hand on someone else's penis.
不过是把手放在别人的鸡♥巴♥上
It's not going to affect what we feel for each other
这又不会影响咱俩的感情
or our lives together.
或者在一起的生活
I know it's just a hand job,
我知道只是打飞机
but maybe that's what's different about us.
也许这就是你我的不同之处
And before you say anything about me being a prude,
你先别说我假正经
it's not that, okay?
我才不是假正经
I don't care what other people do.
我才不管别人怎么做呢
I only care about what you do and what I do.
我只在乎你怎么做 还有我怎么做
Oh, Jesus Christ, where are we?
老天 这是哪儿
This building is a fucking torture chamber.
这楼简直折磨死人了
Just calm down, Patrick. Listen, all I can hear right now
冷静点 帕特里克 我满脑子都想着
is that you want to fuck other people.
你想操别人
And the reason you want to do that is because I'm not enough.
而你这么做的原因就是 我不能满足你
And I wish I was a more secure You are enough!
我希望我多些安全感 有你足够了
It's nothing to do with that. Listen, I know what you're saying.
这跟那没关系 我知道你的意思
Ask me again in 10 years. Maybe I'll feel differently.
也许十年后我的感受会不一样
But all I know is, right now, I can,
但现在 我只知道 我能够
and I want to make the choice to not fuck other people,
而且愿意下决心不去乱搞
and you can't or won't, or don't even want to try.
你却做不到或者你不愿意 你连试都不愿试
So where does that put us?
那咱俩算怎么回事
And the thing is, now, the fucking cat is out of the bag.
问题是 现在真♥相♥大白
So every time you go to the gym, or get a massage,
以后只要你去健身房♥ 或者去做按♥摩♥
or go get a fucking bagel,
或者只是去买♥♥面包圈
I'm gonna wonder what you're doing, okay?
我就会怀疑你究竟在做什么
And you're such a good liar, Kevin. I've seen you do it.
而且你说谎一流 凯文 你一向如此
Well, I'm not lying now.
现在我没有说谎
I am telling the truth. Yes, I know, Patrick,
我说的是实话 没错 帕特里克
these things are hard to talk about.
我知道谈这种事很不舒服
But-- What the fuck is this fight about?
但... 咱们他妈的到底在吵什么
What do you mean? What is this fight about?
什么意思 咱们在吵什么
Is this a fight to break us up or to keep us together?
是为了分手还是继续在一起
What? Do you actually want to be with me?
什么 你真的想跟我在一起吗
'Cause it feels like you're looking for an escape.
我怎么感觉你在找借口离开我
I mean, literally above your head,
说真的 你头顶上
there's a sign that says "exit."
就有"出口"的标记
Please, what are you doing?
拜托 你到底要干什么
Don't sabotage this before we've even had a chance.
别毁了这一切 给彼此一个机会
I've upturned my life for you.
我为你做出了好大的改变
I want us to be together, if it's possible,
我要我们在一起 如果可能的话
until we're two old miserable cunts sat on a porch.
直到变成两个可怜的老混账 坐在门廊上
But if you don't want that, Patrick,
如果你不愿意的话 帕特里克
if you don't want that,
如果你不要这样
then you should just go, please.
那你就走吧 求你
And go right now.
现在赶紧走
So we're going on a walk?
是要散个步吗
Is this going to be like the "Godfather" or something?
这不会是《教父》之类的情节吧
You have a wreath.
挂圣诞花环了啊
Oh, shit. I do. Weird.
妈的 还真是 好奇怪
How the fuck did that happen?
咋会这样啊
I have reindeer too.
还有驯鹿呢
And he watches football, right?
他看橄榄球比赛
Not just the Niners, but, like, other teams.
不仅看旧金山队的比赛 别队的比赛也看
Which is so weird.
这太奇怪了
Apparently you can, you know, put a Cher wig on a guy
看来就算给他戴个女式假发
and they still end up being uber straight.
他一样不会被掰弯
And he rocked that wig better than I rocked mine.
而且他戴比我戴好看多了
I know. It was confusing.
就是 太让人不解了
Cool.
不错
Dor, I hate this.
小桃 我讨厌这样
You think I don't?
你以为我想这样吗
I was such a fucking asshole.
我那天很混♥蛋♥
Yeah, you were. You totally were.
的确 彻头彻尾的混♥蛋♥
But I should have never pulled the "fag hag" card. You know that?
但我也不该说"基佬腐女"这种话
And that's-- Oh my god,
我的天
that has been playing
过去几周
over and over again in my head for these past few weeks.
我翻来覆去想这件事