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我随时都可以换人
that I can upgrade any time.
我花了很长时间
I've just spent so many hours
才让你有所价值
making you halfway marketable,
我想看看我投资的回报
I'd like to maybe see a return on my investment.
松开我 拜托
Please stop.
抱歉
I'm sorry.
抱歉 我不知道我为什么说...
I'm sorry, I didn't-- I don't know why I say--
我很抱歉
I'm sorry.
原谅我吗
Forgive me?
这样很不对
That was not okay.
不会再这样了 我保证 我...
It won't happen again, I promise, I...
我明天第一件事就是打给我的心理医生
I'll--I'll call my therapist first thing tomorrow.
-皇 -拜托
- Royal. - Please.
我真的喜欢你
I really, really love you.
我不知道我为什么说那些话
I don't know why I say those type of things.
拜托 请原谅我
Please, please say you forgive me.
请说你原谅我
Please say you forgive me.
请原谅我
Please forgive me.
拜托
Please.
我当然会原谅你
Of course I forgive you.
我们会一起解决的
We'll work on this together.
我很抱歉
I'm sorry.
-没事的 没事的 -抱歉
- It's okay, it's okay. - I'm sorry.
但是没有人会像我一样爱你
No one will ever love you like I love you.
没有人拥有和我一样宽厚的心 只容纳你一人
No one has a heart as big as mine that's just for you.
谢天谢地
Oh, thank God, thank God.
你晕过去了
You passed out.
走吧 我们得离开这里
Come on, we gotta get out of here.
欢迎苏醒
Welcome back.
-滚开 别挡路 皇 -不
- Get the fuck out of the way, Royal! - Nope!
我想和小瓦单独谈谈
I was trying to have a private conversation with Val,
但既然我们都在
but since we're all here,
我们来一起聊一聊
we're gonna have ourselves a big group conversation,
像一群文明的成年人一样
like a bunch of civilized adults.
你是成年人吗
Oh, you're an adult?
真可笑 起开
Hilarious. Move.
你从来无法理解我们之间的联♥系♥ 朱莉
You never understood our connection, Julie.
我敢肯定是你给她洗♥脑♥ 让她反抗我
I'm pretty sure you poisoned her against me.
-我给她洗♥脑♥吗 -小瓦
- Oh, I'm the poison? - Val,
我觉得这个小妞喜欢你
I think this chick's in love with you.
-一直如此 -滚开 自以为是的败类
- Always has been. - Fuck off, wannabe Eurotrash.
那她为什么要说服你
Oh, then why else would she try and convince you
我的浪漫很烂俗
that my romantic gestures were bad?
你不浪漫 老兄
You're not a romantic, dude.
你是即将上演的罪案剧
You're a true crime series waiting to happen.
你把她的脸纹在了你头上
You tattooed her face on your head.
-等等 什么 -你融化了她的唱片收藏
- Wait, what? - You melted her record collection.
你躲在她车的后座上 偷袭了她
You hid out in the back of her car and jumped her.
-这是真的吗 -当然不是
- Is that true? - Of course not.
这些就是在她甩了你之后 你做的事
And this was all after she dumped your ass.
别以为我忘了你说你们还在一起
Don't think I've forgotten about all that Looney Tunes shit
那些可笑的屁话
you said while you guys were together.
"宝贝 总有一天我会买♥♥一座
"Someday, sweetness, I'm gonna buy us a mansion
我们都不住的豪♥宅♥
that we won't even live in.
我们就去那里给对方肛♥交♥
We'll just go there to take turns
房♥子里面放着格莱美奖杯"
ass-fucking each other with our Grammy awards--"
滚你♥妈♥的♥
Fuck this.
当我没说
And forget what I said.
-我不需要你的帮助 -帮助
- I don't want your help. - Help?
这么说吧
Here's what's gonna happen.
你把关于我和小珍的每一条帖子都删除
You're gonna take down every post about me and Trez,
不要再可悲地尝试翻盘
you're gonna stop this pathetic attempt at a comeback,
收起你的键盘和你丑陋的朋友
pack up your keyboard and your ugly friend here,
在一生中都不再表演流行歌♥
and you're never gonna play another pop song in your life.
听见了吗
Heard?
如果她不听你的呢
What if she doesn't?
天哪
Jesus fuck!
拜托 这是拍片道具
Oh, come on, it's a video prop.
没错 但很锋利
Um, yeah, but it's really sharp though,
所以小心一点
so please be careful.
我不会用它的
I'm not gonna use it.
除非你们逼我
Unless you make me.
-怎么了 -宝贝
- What? - Babe.
没人逼你
No one's making you.
好吧 没人逼我做任何事
Fine, okay, no one is making me do anything.
我在做出自己的选择
I'm trying to own my choices.
音乐 亲爱的 来点音乐
Musica, sweetness, musica.
你想听什么 宝贝
What you thinkin', babe?
我不知道 来点时髦的
I don't know, something funky.
给初学者的舞曲
太棒了
Perfect.
非常感谢 亲爱的
Muchas gracias, sweetness.
欢迎
Welcome.
像黄♥片♥一样
It's like porn.
你越这样自我作践
The more you dumpster dive like this,
你的品味就会越来越奇怪
the more fucked up and bizarre your tastes are gonna get.
好吧 有你在 我愿意冒险
Well, I'll take my chances with you as my guide.
在我认识的制♥作♥人里
I'm the only producer I know
我是唯一一个喜欢黑胶唱片的人
who hasn't got a vinyl fetish,
所以我想我应该买♥♥一个
so I guess I should probably get one.
小心点
Yeah, well, be careful.
我的品味越来越病态
My tastes keep getting sicker and sicker.
现在的东西都不奇怪 无法满足我
Almost nothing's weird enough to satisfy.
没错
Oh, yes.
我的天 这上面有说明
Oh my gosh, it's got instructions.
你在逗我吗
Are you kidding me?
-你是我的吉祥物 -你是我的梦中女孩
- You're my good luck charm. - You're my dream girl.
我全都想要
你能给我们放一下吗
Can you play this for us please?
当然
Yeah, sure.
-你有地址吗 -有 先生
- Hey you got the address? - Yes, sir.
我来放点音乐
Oh, let me put some music on.
既然我们无法讲道理
So, uh, since we're beyond reasonable conversation?
那么就由我来解决问题
It's up to me to solve the problem.
问题到底是什么呢
What is the problem exactly?
是你
It's that you...
长得太像她了
...look a lot like her.
对吗
Right?
你以前的模样
Old photos of you look
和她现在很像
a little like new pictures of her.
所以你会想"偷了我的造型"
So you think, "Stole my look."
无所谓 都是我设计出来的
Never mind it's all my design.
我真的看不出相似之处
I really don't see the resemblance.
我也看不出来
Neither do I.
我和调音师谈过了
I spoke to the DJ.
没有人拥有和我一样宽厚的心
No one has a heart as big as mine,
只容纳你一人 这颗心永远属于你
and it's just for you, belongs to you for always.
我爱你 皇
I love you, Royal.
我的甜心 你是最甜美的
You, my sweetness, are simply the sweetest.
解决方式如下
So here's the solve.
我可以改变你的模样
I could rearrange your face,
这样的话她还是她 你是全新的你
that way she's she and you're a whole new you.
大家都满意
Everyone's happy.
这是拒绝的意思吗
Is that a no?
但你要记住
Or you could just remember
在你遇到我之前 你什么都不是
that you were nothing before we met
所以不要演唱我的作品
and keep my material out of your mouth.
这是我的诉求
That'd be my preference.
我恨你
I hate you.
她说她恨你
She said she hates you.
-这不友好 -你也不友好
- That's not nice. - You're not nice.
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