我即黑夜

缺心眼儿
You stupid!
该死 没脑子
Shit. Stupid girl.
"我爱他 他最闪耀"
"I love him. My stars."
你得眼光高一点 不能找穷小子
Need to do better than this little Podunk town.
竟然跟路易斯·弗格森好上了
Goddamn Lewis Ferguson?
我怎么眼光高一点啊 妈妈
And how am I supposed to do better, Mama?
我就是这样的出身 这里是我的归宿
This is where I belong. This is my home.
你的归宿
Where you belong.
你才不知道你的归宿在哪里
You don't know nothing where you belong.
妈蛋
Shit.
归宿个鬼
You belong-- shit.
妈妈
Mama...
我又看到那个白人男子了
I saw that white man again.
我之前跟你提过的那个人
The one I told you about.
我今天又看见他了
Yeah, I seen him again today.
你烦恼他干什么
Why-- Why you worrying about him, huh?
有个白人男子盯着你 这有什么可烦恼
Worrying about some white man looking at you.
你该担忧自己的人生
You need to be worrying about your life.
这才是你该烦忧的事
That's what you need to be worrying about.
而不是谁盯着你看
Not worrying about somebody looking at you.
你该担忧怎么过自己的人生
Worry about doing something with your life!
我这不正好好生活吗
I'm trying.
该死
Shit.
我本来会成为一代歌♥后 可恶
I was supposed to be Lena Horne, goddamn it.
♪曾在萨米·戴维斯面前一展歌♥喉♪
♪ Sammy Davis heard me sing ♪
♪曾在首都唱片公♥司♥约谈♪
♪ Had me a meeting at Capital Records, too ♪
♪曾精心打扮♪
♪ Had my dress on ♪
但我选择了你
But I chose you.
我尽心保护着你
I tried to protect you.
抚养一个跨种族混血孩子多么艰辛
It is hard raising a mixed-race child,
期待着她的肤色变黑
waiting on her skin to darken.
但这根本没可能了
It ain't never gonna darken!
怎么 你还委屈了啊
What you gonna do, gonna cry about it?
你还想哭啊
u202dYou gon' cry about it, baby?
你有什么脸哭啊
What you got to cry about?
你有什么脸哭
What you crying about?
你什么都不知...
You know nothing about...
妈妈 什么意思
Mama, what is this?
我不懂
I don't understand.
你到底想说什么
What are you saying?
没什么
Nothing.
你啥都不知道
You don't know the first thing.
出生证明
芳娜·霍代尔
Fauna Hodel?
出生日期 1949年 八月一号♥
母亲姓名 塔玛·霍代尔
父亲姓名 信息保密
母亲 白人
父亲 黑人
塔玛
Tamar...
芳娜
Fauna.
赶紧换衣服
You better get dressed.
芳娜·霍代尔是谁
Who is Fauna Hodel?
你说什么
What did you just say? What?
芳娜·霍代尔是谁 妈妈
Who's Fauna Hodel, Mama?
你翻我的东西了吗
You been sneaking in-- in my stuff?
你从我这里偷钱吗
You stealing from me?
你就这么不孝啊
You gonna respect me like that?
别骗我
Don't lie to me.
你翅膀硬了啊
How dare you.
我为你付出了这么多 你竟还敢翻我的东西
How dare you come into my stuff after all I done.
真是翅膀硬了
Okay, how dare you.
赶紧 还给我
Now come on. Gimme that back.
这不是你的东西 给我
That ain't yours. Give it to me.
给我
Give it to me!
妈妈 我会报♥警♥ 别逼我
Mama, I will go to the police. I will.
贼喊捉贼 你还报♥警♥
Yeah, you would, too, huh?
-妈妈 -缺心眼儿
- Mama... - Stupid.
没长脑子 你就是个缺心眼儿
You stupid. That's what you are. You stupid.
妈妈 求你告诉我吧
Mama, please tell me.
行 你想知道
Fine, you want to know?
你想知道 我就告诉你
You want to know? I'll tell you.
我一直不喜欢那个名字 芳娜
I always hated that name. Fauna.
像童话故事里 很傻很天真的名字
It's like a stupid-- stupid fairy-- fairy-tale name.
什么
What?
你
You...
你就是芳娜·霍代尔 缺心眼儿
You-- you Fauna Hodel, stupid, you are.
你就是芳娜
You're Fauna.
我吗
I am?
对 有人在洗手间里把你交给了我
Yeah, you was given to me in a goddamn bathroom.
一个白人女性在赌场洗手间把你给了我
White woman in the restroom at a casino.
一副落寞的样子 絮叨个不停
Lonely, talking my damn ear off, so, you know,
于是我就跟她说了我和格林韦德牧师的事
I tell her about me u202dand the good Reverend Greenwade.
我说我们结婚了
Yeah, I tell her we was married.
她出手很大方 所以我就添油加醋地吹捧了一番
You know, she was a big tipper, so I laid it on thick.
我说 "我们膝下无子"
Says "Lord didn't bless us with no children."
她问我能不能收养她女儿的孩子
She asked me if I would adopt her daughter's child.
我本以为她是醉酒说胡话
I thought she was drunk, crazy.
正常人谁会当真啊
I mean, who would've thought she wasn't?
所以...
So...
我回答她 "乐意效劳 女士"
I says, "Wonderful, ma'am."
她给了我50美元小费
She tipped me $50.
她15岁的女儿 就是...
Her 15-year-old daughter, that's--
打开吧 那就是塔玛
Go on, open it now. u202dThat's the Tamar right there.
这个名字也很滑稽
Another stupid name.
被一个黑小子搞大了肚子
Pregnant by a Negro boy.
于是我就落到了这般田地
Here I am--
没有孩子 下嫁牧师
childless, married to a preacher,
沦落为了一个虔诚的良家黑人妇女
decent Negro God-fearing woman.
她问我愿不愿收养那个孩子
So, she asked me u202dif I would take that baby.
我脑残回了一句 "感恩耶稣" 她又给了我50美元小费
Shit, I said, "Praise Jesus," and she tipped me another $50.
六个月后 我收到了这封电报
So, I get this-- u202dI get this-- this telegram about six months on,
我当时看过后不知所云 手足无措
and I didn't know what it was, what to make of it.
于是就扔进了垃圾桶
So, I threw the damn thing in the trash.
靠
Shit.
结果那个白人♥大♥姐找上门了
Now here comes this white lady, okay,
站在楼梯上
you know, on the floor,
大喊 让我遵守诺言
hollering about keeping my word.
你能想象到吗
You know?
她大吵大闹 差点害我丢饭碗
Making a scene, about to get me fired.
她抱着孩子去找了修女们
And she bring that baby up here to Sisters.
然后她遇见了克里斯托弗
Well, then she meets Christopher.
这下 克里斯托弗也见到那个孩子了
Now Christopher's seen the baby.
于是他说 "我们该收养这个孩子"
Now Christopher says, "I-- you know, we should keep the baby."
他以为孩子能让我安定下来
He thinks it's gon'-- gon' settle me down,
我们一家就圆♥满♥了
make us a damn family.
于是就落到这般境地了
Well, here we are.
瞧瞧我们"美满"的一家
Here we are,
不就是少了良善的格林韦德牧师吗
without the good u202dReverend Greenwade, of course.
那个混♥蛋♥
Asshole.
我把最好的一切都给了你
You know I did the best I could.
你总是学校里穿着最得体的孩子
You was always u202dthe best-dressed girl in school.
你的衣服向来精良华美
You always had the best clothes.
我要迟到了
I'm gonna be late.
但有件事你得知道
But you know this-- this is the important thing.
看着我
Okay, you look at me.
你的白人家庭
Your white family?
十分富裕
They rich.
你外公...
Okay, your-- your-- your grandfather,
他在洛杉矶是个名医
he a famous doctor in Los Angeles.
你将来也会很富有
You gonna be rich one day, okay?
你就改回他们给你取的名字吧
So, you keep that name. You keep that name legal.
芳娜·霍代尔
Fauna Hodel.