燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S01E01

Part 2 May 4, 2020, 8:50 a.m.

I'm gonna order chili fries.
这里的辣薯条好吃吗
Are your chili fries good?
勒布朗·詹姆斯会跳吗
Can Lebron James jump?
谁会什么来着
Can who do what now?
很好吃
They're good.
来三份还有...
We'll have three orders and...
三杯高度啤酒
three not-light beers.
马上就好那边桌子的几位先生
Coming right up, and the guys at that table over there
想邀你们加入
would like for you to join them.
多么招人喜欢的直男啊
Look how adorably heterosexual they are.
在洛杉矶这话就得问着说
In L.A., it's always a question.
好了姐♥妹♥们♥
Okay, girls.
我们去开心一下
Let's go have some fun.
-为什么不呢 -等等
- Oh, why the hell not? - Wait, wait, wait.
确定要这样吗
Are you sure?
看来我们降落的空间
We appear to have landed in a dimension
男人会搭讪同龄的女人
where men hit on women their own age.
为了科学我们也要一探究竟
We owe it to science to investigate.
你们要离开吗
Oh, are you guys leaving?
不我们只是为你们拉出椅子
No, we're just pulling your chairs out for you.
-这里还有绅士 -很好
- They have gentlemen here. - Nice.
-太谢谢了 -来点洋葱圈吧
- Thank you so much. - Have an onion ring.
吃点也无妨
I might do that.
你好我叫汉克
Hi, my name is Hank.
你好汉克我叫梅兰妮
Hi, Hank. Melanie.
-我叫比尔 -我叫詹姆斯
- I'm bill. - James.
这位是乔依我是
And this is Joy and I'm--
我们认识你
We know who you are.
维多利亚·蔡斯
Victoria Chase.
有一年夏天我卧病在床就迷上了《明日边缘》
I got addicted to Edge of Tomorrow one summer I got laid up.
那一季你扮演欧娜·圣瑞雯
It was the year you were Honor Saint Raven
还有她的邪恶姐姐丝莉·圣瑞雯
and her evil sister Silver Saint Raven.
还有她更邪恶的姐姐木兰·圣瑞雯
And her even eviler sister Magnolia Saint Raven.
很多日间秀女演员都曾经分饰两角
You know, many daytime actress have done dual roles,
可我是第一个分饰三角的
but I was the first one to tackle a triple.
日间艾美奖最佳女主角是...
And the Emmy goes to...
苏珊·露琪
Susan Lucci.
终于啊
Finally!
梅兰妮你也是演员吗
So, Melanie, are you an actress too?
不不是
Oh, no, no.
你可以是啊
Oh, well, you could be.
你让我想起那个非常漂亮的女明星
You know, you remind me of that really pretty actress
就那部电影里的我不记得名字了
who was in that--that movie. I can't remember her name.
没关系
It doesn't matter.
你们怎么会来这里
So what brings you guys here?
其实我们是要去巴黎
Well, actually, we're on our way to Paris.
没错梅兰妮写了本书
Yes, Melanie wrote this book called
《女人死前必做的两百件事》
200 things every woman should do before she dies,
她觉得自己至少也应该做一件
and she figured she really should do at least one of them.
是的第122件事与好友飞去巴黎
Yes, and number 122 is fly to Paris with your best friends.
天呐作家与明星
Wow. A writer and an actress.
你做哪行
So what do you do?
我可是比弗利山的修眉女王
You're looking at the eyebrow queen of Beverly Hills.
我给很多名人修眉
I do a lot of celebrities.
大多数是女人
Mostly women.
奥普拉雪儿瑞安·西克雷斯特
Oprah, Cher, Ryan Seacrest.
我瞎猜哈
Shot in the dark.
几位女士都单身吗
Are you ladies all unattached?
目前是的
At the moment.
梅兰妮正在经历离婚
Melanie's going through a divorce
维多利亚已经结过二十次婚了吧
and Victoria's been married, like, 20 times.
在洛杉矶相当于五次
Which in L.A. is, like, five,
对女演员来说顶多算一次啦
and for an actress is barely one.
上菜了女士们
Here we go, ladies.
只点了辣薯条
Only cheese fries?
你们吃得真秀气
You girls are light eaters, huh?
敬克利夫兰
To Cleveland!
老天我们是疯了吗
God, what were we thinking?
酒精盐再加反式脂肪
Alcohol and salt and trans fats?
就是啊
I know.
炸薯条的油花儿正从我的毛孔里渗出来
French fry grease is literally sweating from my pores.
不知道梅梅起来了没
I wonder if Mel's up yet.
我打给她
I'll call her.
请接梅兰妮·莫雷蒂的房♥间
Melanie Moretti's room, please.
是吗
Really?
她没入住
She never checked in.
该担心吗
Should we be worried?
不用梅兰妮从来不会做出格的事
No, it's Melanie. She never does anything crazy.
我要搬到克利夫兰来
I'm moving to Cleveland.
你这个小荡♥妇♥
You're such a little slut.
可不是嘛
I know, right?
我的妈呀
Oh, my god.
我跟你们说汉克又有魅力又温柔
You guys, Hank is so amazing and sweet.
他说我美味
He told me that I was luscious.
他说我可口
He said I was delicious.
我跟你说那是炸薯条的油花味儿
I tell you, it's the french fry grease.
他是个水暖工
He's a plumber.
不错吧不错吧
Right? Right?
我们幻想过多少次
I mean, how many times have we fantasized
有一个真正会修理东西的男人
about a man who could actually fix things?
他带我在克利夫兰转了转告诉你们
He showed me all around Cleveland and I'm telling you,
和我们想的完全不同
it's nothing like we think.
这里有交响乐博物馆还有歌♥剧
They have symphonies and museums and light opera.
虽然没人真喜欢这些可这里都有
Okay, so nobody really likes those things, but they have 'em!
你说的我们都听到了
Listen, we hear what you're saying,
但你真的失心疯了
But you've lost your freaking mind.
我告诉你们我就要搬来克利夫兰
I'm telling you, you guys, I'm moving to Cleveland.
梅兰妮真朋友是不会让朋友搬到克利夫兰的
Melanie, friends don't let friends move to Cleveland.
看看租♥房♥♥广♥告♥好吗
Just take a look at this listing.
"出♥售♥出租均可带客房♥维多利亚式建筑
"For sale or lease, Victorian with guest cottage,
七千平方英尺..."
7,000 square feet--"
这价格绝对写少了一个零
That price has got to be missing a zero.
我的妈呀
Oh, my god.
可不是很棒吧
I know, right? It's amazing, huh?
不是这是奥普拉的照片
No, it's a picture of Oprah.
看看这眉毛
Look at those brows.
这眉弯不是我的风格
That's not my arch.
她被别人拔过毛了
She's being plucked by someone else.
照片可能修过了
It was probably retouched.
我所有的照片都...
I mean, I get all of my photos--
我听说过有人会这么做
I mean, I hear that people do do that.
我开的美容沙龙
I've built my business
就是以「奥普拉御用修眉师」为卖♥♥点的
on being the salon that does Oprah's brows.
这是罗迪欧大道的那个俄♥国♥妞弄的
This is the work of that Russian chick on Rodeo.
该死的老外
Bloody foreigners.
去看看便宜房♥子能让你高兴吗
Well, would looking at cheap real estate cheer you up?
可能不行
Probably not,
但我也不能躺在这里舔伤口啊
but I just can't lie here licking my wounds.
不过这味儿...
Although...
我喜欢租下了
I love it. I'll take it.
你在做什么
What are you doing?
明天我们就飞巴黎了
We're getting on a plane for Paris tomorrow.
我是去巴黎找浪漫的
I was going to Paris to find romance,
但我在这里找到了飞行里程可以继续攒着了
but I've found it here, and I get to keep all my miles.
梅兰妮这太疯狂了
Melanie, this is crazy.
这是按月租的
Look, it's a month-to-month lease,
一月房♥租只抵得上巴黎的一晚
and a month here costs the same as a night in Paris.
-给你 -给你
- Here you go. - And here you go.
谢谢
Thank you!
关于这房♥子只有一件事
Now there's just one thing about this place
我需要提个醒