燃情克利夫兰

我想你有兴趣知道
It may interest you to know
今晚我和强尼·里维尔
that tonight Johnny Revere and I
会共赴巫山云雨 其狂野程度
are going to have the kind of smoking hot sex
小孩子只在故事会里见过
that children only read about in story books.
拜托 他铁石心肠 视女人如草芥
Come on, he's callous and misogynous,
我看他今天连澡都没洗
and I don't even think he showered today.
没关系 我会帮他舔干净的
That's okay, I'll just lick him clean.
维多利亚 这是个错误
Victoria! This is a mistake!
别做被人用完就甩的擦鞋垫
Don't be a holla back girl.
这词能这么用吗 感觉挺对的
Am I using that right? 'Cause it felt right.
随她吧 梅梅
Oh, let it go, Mel.
闺蜜绊脚石是绊不住坏男人的诱惑的
There's no girlfriend block for bad-boy sex.
没错 男人不坏 女人不爱
You're right. Its power is too strong.
和坏男人在一起的内疚罪恶感就够刺♥激♥的
That guilty thrill you get just being with him.
无可救药地想要改变他
That desperate desire you have to change him.
知道无法改变他
And that delicious little tickle
却欲罢不能的虐心纠缠
that comes from knowing you never could.
怎么 三十年代的波兰也是有坏男人诱惑的
What? You think there weren't bad boys in Poland in the '30s?
遇到强尼前 我根本不知道什么叫堕落
You know, before I met Johnny, I didn't know the meaning of depravity
不知道"酒店黑名单"
or hotel blacklisting.
我们在餐具柜上做过
There was this one time on a credenza.
天呐 炮场几乎覆盖了一切地方
Oh, my god. I mean, no surface was safe.
咖啡桌 单人沙发
Oh, we did it on coffee tables, club chairs,
还有那个难以忘怀的感恩节
and this one really memorable Thanksgiving,
盛满甘薯和肉汁的浴缸
in a bathtub full of sweet potatoes and gravy.
在说到你如何妙用火鸡腿之前 想想吧
Okay, before we get to what you did with the turkey legs, think.
如果你和他上♥床♥ 他会再次甩了你
If you sleep with him, he'll just dump you again,
然后他会再次溜之大吉 不用负任何责任
and then he'll be the one that got away again.
谁在乎啊 我要的不是他
Who cares? He's not the man that got away.
我要的是他的床技 今晚我要再次享受到
He's the sex that got away, and tonight I am getting it back.
做归做 别唤起对他的感觉就行
Well, just make sure none of those old feelings come back with it.
得了吧 我可不是当年一心想嫁
Oh, please, I am not that nubile little ninny
整日在他阳台上裸着的小傻妹了
who used to prance around naked on his balcony--
妈呀 他上次见我光着的时候 我才20来岁
Oh, my god! He hasn't seen me naked since I was in my 20s!
谁说钻石是女人最好的朋友
Ooh, forget diamonds.
一旦过了40 衣服才是
After 40, covers are a girl's best friend.
相信你一点就通
Word to the wise.
聪明的骑师总是直直地"坐"在马上
A smart jockey always sits straight up on the horse.
-你是骑师 他是... -行了 我们懂
- See, you're the jockey, and he's... - Yes, yes, we understand.
这样你的奶♥子♥就不会耷拉到两边去
It's so your boobs don't flop to the side
与背部赘肉融为一体
and get lost in your back fat.
你是否和我一样有性趣了
Are you as turned on as I am?
这下完蛋了
Oh, this is a disaster.
连内衣都不够挑逗
I'm not even dressed for sex.
-跟我换内♥裤♥ -等等
- Trade underwear with me. - Wait!
你怎么一上来就问乔依不问我呢
Why do you automatically ask Joy and not me?
棉质内♥裤♥是你的心头好 不是我的
Because cotton is the fabric of your life, darling, not mine.
-棉的才透气 -好吧
- Cotton breathes. - All right.
我是不会跟你换内♥裤♥的
I am not swapping knickers with you.
好的 可我绝对需要紧急脱毛
Okay, okay, but I am definitely gonna need an emergency wax.
你眉毛挺好的
Well, your eyebrows look fine.
我急着要处理的可不是眉毛
It's not my eyebrows I'm worried about.
你觉得我会带着脱毛工具箱吗
Do you think I carry a portable waxing kit?
乔依 求你了
Joy, please.
80年代经典剧集
主角能用简单材料造出需要的工具
好吧 我只能学玉面飞龙大显神通了
Okay, fine. I'll MacGyver it.
天呐 你们疯了吗
Oh, my god, are you guys crazy?
知道会有多痛吗
Do you know how much that's gonna hurt?
可是值得啊
But it's worth it,
因为今晚我要重温1979年的疯狂
because tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1979.
需要车回家吗 威利把豪华轿车借我了
You want a ride home? Willie loaned me the limo.
谢谢 不用了 我还得待会儿
Oh, thanks, but no, no. I have to stick around.
我得向海莉·纳西道歉
I have to find Hailey Nash and apologize to her
因为我把脸埋进了她的乳♥沟♥
for sticking my face in her boobs.
话说 威利会认识她吗
Hey, I don't suppose Willie knows her.
现在 威利连自己是谁都不知道了
By now, Willie doesn't know his own name.
-帅哥 -美女 进来
- Hey, you. - Hey, sexy, come on in.
你没事吧
You okay?
我很好
No, I'm fine.
今晚的派对 美女多了去了
You know, there were a lot of hot women at that party tonight,
但她们的"烛火"之光岂能与你的日月光争辉
but none of them could hold a candle to you.
就你这样想吧
That's what you think.
真的不用来杯带劲点的吗
Sure I can't get you something stronger?
不用了 我需要保持清醒
No, no, no, I have to keep my wits about me.
我不小心冒犯了海莉·纳西 我得向她道歉
I accidentally groped Hailey Nash, so I need to apologize to her.
机会来了
Well, here's your chance.
她就在你身后
She's right behind you.
又是你
You again?
对不起
I'm sorry!
纳西女士 太对不起了
Oh, Ms. Nash, I'm so sorry!
纳西女士 太对不起了
Oh, Ms. Nash, I'm so sorry!
只是苏打水 不会留污迹的
It's just seltzer, so it won't stain.
所以真的...
So there's really
不需要我...
no reason for me to be doing...
这样做
this.
我的胸部和你到底有什么过节
What is it with you and my breasts?
我是你的超级粉丝
I'm just a really big fan.
我猜也是
So I gather.
我是说 我是你的粉丝
I mean, I'm a fan of you,
不是粉你的胸
not your breasts.
并不是说我不喜欢你的胸 只是...
But not that I'm not a fan of your breasts. It's just...
我完全喝高了
I am so toasted.
想喝什么
So, what are you drinking?
-你给什么我喝 -我不喝
- What are you pouring. - Well, nothing for me.
吃了药可不能喝酒
The booze doesn't mesh with the drugs.
你以前可是嗑药喝酒两不误
That never stopped you before.
是啊 所以原来的肝完蛋了
Yeah, that was my old liver.
你还是喜欢波旁酒吗
You're still a bourbon girl?
可以先来一杯
It'll do for starters.
这沙发不咬人
You know that couch doesn't bite.
我现在更想坐餐具柜
Oh, you know, I think I'm more in a credenza kind of mood.
天呐
Mercy.
你在红木上总是显得特别漂亮
You always did look good on mahogany.
我和上等实木 总是很合衬
Well, I've always been partial to good solid wood.
我还记得
I seem to remember that.
我还记得满身鲜奶油和鱼子酱
I seem to remember been covered in creme fraiche and caviar.
今天有什么好菜
So, what's on the menu tonight?
烤鸡胸肉和蒸蔬菜
A grilled chicken breast and steam vegetables.
你已经飘到什么程度了
How stoned are you?
飘
Stoned?
你磕的什么药
What drugs are you on then?
骨正胶囊和降血脂片
Celebrex and lipitor.
-你开玩笑的 是吧 -没有
- Ah, you're joking, right? - No.
我已经改头换面了
I'm a different guy now.
我今晚邀请你来的原因就是
In fact that's why I invited you up here tonight.
向你道歉
To apologize.
道歉
Apologize?
是的
Yeah.
当年我们在一起时 我是个自私的人♥渣♥
I was a selfish bastard when we were together,
我很后悔过去那样对你
and I really feel bad about the way I treated you.
我明白了
I see.
那么 你原谅我了
So, um, are we good?
你可真够不要脸的 伙计
You have got a lot of nerve, pal!
什么 我只是道歉而已
What? All I said was I'm sorry.
没有女人想听这种废话
Well, no girl wants to hear that!
当年你的确是渣男 可这样才有坏男人的魅力
Of course you were a bastard, that's what made you so exciting.
那你为什么现在生气
So why are you mad now?
我以为你请我来是要疯狂地做上一场
I thought you invited me up here for some high-octane sex,
谁要低胆固醇小菜 和涕泪交加的道歉
not a low-cholesterol snack and some crybaby apology!
我不知道 对不起
Whoa, I didn't know. I'm sorry.