燃情克利夫兰

脸上的表情很悲剧
something unfortunate happens to your face.
她知道的 我一直在提醒她
She knows. I tell her all the time.
原来你们躲在这里
So this is where you two are hiding.
是啊 我跟我妈说我闻到了煤气味
Yeah, I told my mom I smelled gas.
应该可以让她忙一阵子了
That should keep her busy for a while.
太离谱了
Oh, it's crazy, I know,
我爸在这里才待了两天
but what, my father's been here two days,
我感觉我又变成了那个12岁的没人爱的小女孩
and I'm reverting to this 12-year-old needy little girl again.
知道吗 我成为女演员
Do you know I became an actress
就是以为这样可以让他注意我
because I thought it would get his attention?
你说过是因为电视迷手上的毒品更正点
I thought you said it was because the drama geeks had better drugs.
我没说这是唯一原因
I didn't say it was the only reason.
我妈来了后 就不允许我出门了
Well, my mom hasn't let me leave the house since she got here.
童年噩梦又回来了
It's my childhood all over again.
她只想让我待在家 乖乖吃饭
She just wants me to stay at home and eat.
我妈养我跟养猪似的
I was raised like a veal.
那也比被色猪养大要好
That's better than being raised by a ham...
他见人就想去"拱"
who tries to pork everybody.
你们有什么好抱怨的
I don't know what you two are complaining about.
你们爸妈明天就走了
Your parents are leaving tomorrow.
我那病毒老娘无处不在
Mine's gone viral.
如果这么做有用的话
You know, if I thought it would do any good,
我会好好教训他一顿
I would tell my father off.
他总是不分场合地随心所欲
He just wants what he wants when he wants it
根本不在乎是否会让我难堪
without any regard for how it might affect me.
我也好想告诉我妈我真实的感受
Boy, I would just love to tell my mom how I really feel.
为什么你们老美总觉得说出心底话
Why do Americans always feel that spewing their emotions
就会好受些呢
will make them feel better?
在英国 如果有家庭矛盾
In Britain, if we have a family dispute,
我们会遵循"酒精"考验的传统
we follow a time-honored tradition
采用代代相传的办法
passed down from one generation to another.
什么办法
What's that?
喝得酩酊大醉
We get rat-assed drunk.
我去拿红酒
I'll be back with more wine.
不不 不对
No, no, no. No, no.
不是 应该先喝小杯烈酒
No, you do the shot first,
再喝啤酒
then the beer.
太有才了
Brilliant.
我一定要在园艺俱乐部好好宣传
Wait till I tell the garden club.
你好 乔依
Oh, hi, Joy.
你们慢慢聊 我还有事
I'll leave you two. I've got work to do.
亮片可不会自己贴到运动衫上去
These tracksuits don't bedazzle themselves.
你好 妈
Hello, mum.
亲爱的 别弯腰驼背的
Darling, don't slouch.
我站得可直了
I'm standing perfectly straight.
那就太悲哀了
And that's just sad.
说到悲哀 你有对象了吗
Speaking of sad, are you dating anyone?
拜拜 妈
Bye, mum.
和母亲大人闹不愉快了吗
Having a bit of a dustup with the dear old mater?
你懂的
Oh, you know.
不用说 我的直觉已经告诉我了
You don't have to tell me. I intuit.
我还看出某人渴望着
I also see someone in--in dire need
压力的释放
of some tension reduction.
来吧 我们来好好释放下
Here, let's get the ball rolling.
不用了 蔡斯先生
Oh, that's quite all right, Mr. Chase.
别客气 叫我艾利克斯
Oh, please. Alex.
蔡斯先生是我化妆间门上的名牌
Mr. Chase is what it says on my dressing-room door.
看 我的好朋友来了
Oh, hey, it's my good friend,
你女儿 维多利亚
your daughter, Victoria.
您老这玩笑开得有点大吧
You have got to be kidding me.
我还是去门廊上喝吧
I'll just go drink this on the porch.
维多利亚
Victoria--
爸 我们是时候好好谈谈了
Daddy, I think it's time that you and I had a little talk.
-维多利亚呢 -和她爸谈话呢
- Where's Victoria? - Having a chat with her dad.
不是说用酩酊大醉来解决吗
What happened to getting rat-assed drunk?
对她来说太迟了 我们只能救自己了
It's too late for her. We can only save ourselves.
我到处都闻过了 没有煤气
I've sniffed everywhere--no gas.
不过我有点担心氡气
But I'm a little concerned about radon.
妈 氡气是闻不到的
Ma, you can't smell radon.
所以我才担心
That's what concerns me.
你还是换好衣服 我们出去吃晚餐吧
Why don't you just go get dressed for dinner?
为什么不待在家里
Oh, why don't we just stay in?
妈 我已经说过了
Ma, I already told you
我想带你出去吃饭 位子都订好了
I would like to take you out to dinner. I made reservations.
可天快黑了
But it's getting dark.
多数车祸都发生在黄昏时
And most car accidents happen at dusk.
妈 听我说
Ma, you know what?
你不能再这样了 快把我逼疯了
You got to stop, 'cause you're driving me crazy.
我还是去找个没人的地方喝吧
Oh, uh, I'll just go drink this somewhere where people aren't.
我们得谈谈
I think we need to talk.
老天 我都起鸡皮疙瘩了
Oh, my god. My skin is tingling.
-说出来感觉太爽了 -可不是
- That was such a rush. - I know.
我的肾上腺素猛飙
My adrenaline is really pumping.
你觉得这会消耗卡路里吗
Do you think that burns calories?
我觉得会的 我要点炸薯条
I feel like it does. I'm gonna order fries.
首先 我说他想泡乔依让我很生气
First, I told I was upset because he hit on Joy.
然后数落他如何无视我的感受 贬低我的事业
And that led to how he ignores my feelings and belittles my career.
接着就出口成章了
And then I just went to town.
我也是
Me too!
我让我妈别再弄什么档片锁和防狼口哨
I told my mom no more dead bolts or rape whistles.
战战兢兢的怎么过日子啊
Being afraid is no way to live your life.
然后我将矛头指向她
And then I turned it on her.
我说 "这辈子哪怕一次也好 他妈的冒险一下"
I said, "For once in your life, take a damn risk!"
没错 我对我妈说"他妈的"
Yes, I said "Damn" to my mother.
我也说了
I said damn too.
我说 "听着 老爸
I said, "Listen, daddy.
别他妈的再泡我朋友
"You keep your damn hands off my friends
去勾搭你同龄的女人吧"
and start hitting on women your own age."
好样的 妞
You go, girl!
慢着 现在还流行这么说吗
Wait, do people still say that?
不了 不过变装女王可能会说
No, I mean, drag queens maybe.
但是 我很理解你要表达的感情
But I really appreciate the sentiment.
-哪里弄来的 -吧台
- Oh, where did you get that? - At the bar.
-你俩还在庆祝吗 -是的 感觉好极了
- Are you two still celebrating? - Yes, and it feels great.
知道吗 你也该试试和你妈摊牌
You know what? You should try it with your mom,
如果你不说明白 她是不会改变的
because if you don't tell her how you feel, she's not gonna change.
我一直跟你们说 人是不会变的
I keep telling you people never change.
所以我才懒得跟我妈搞正面冲突
That's why instead of confronting my mum,
报销一瓶红酒更实际
I've consumed an entire bottle of wine.
-你看起来不太醉啊 -英国佬不会醉的
- You don't seem that drunk. - Oh, we English never do.
酒精被憋着的怒气中和了
The alcohol is neutralized by our bottled-up anger.
听起来不利于健康哦
That doesn't sound very healthy.
我知道我会英年早逝
Oh, I'm sure I'll die well before my time.
总好过炮轰我老妈一顿
It's better than seeing the heartbroken look
然后看她那心碎的表情
on my mum's face if I did tell her off.
我离开时 我妈好像崩溃了
My mom did seem a little crushed when I left.
是啊 我爸似乎也很伤心
Yeah, my dad seemed pretty upset,
我能看出是真的
and I could tell it was real,
他没有扮帅装酷 也没展示他上镜的那边脸
because he didn't use any gestures or cheat to his good side.
我好内疚
I feel bad.
我也是
Me too.
我妈可能在家 躺在床上哭泣
My mom's probably at home in bed crying.
我爸可能感觉老了
And daddy's probably feeling old...
没人爱了
and unloved.
我们应该回家道歉
We should go home and apologize.
乔依 这个要给钱吗
Joy, do you need to pay for that?
不用 免费汉堡之夜 我在吧台拿的
No. It's free-hamburger night. I just got it off the bar.
哪有什么免费汉堡之夜
There's no such thing as free-hamburger night.
我应该从这被人咬过的汉堡里看出点名堂
Oh, I suppose the missing bite should have tipped me off.
看来我醉得够呛了
I guess I'm drunker than I thought.