燃情克利夫兰

坎贝尔 再给我这样傻笑
Campbell, I see you smirk like that again,
我就赏你一个大暴栗
I'll knock your block off.
集♥合♥ 单膝跪下
Okay, bring it in and take a knee.
听好了
Listen up.
周五就是首场演出
We got our first show on Friday,
你们爹妈花钱可不是
and your parents aren't paying
为了看一帮半吊子二货耍花枪
to see a bunch of amateur ragtime grab-ass up here.
所以必须好好演
So let's execute!
手放一起 数到三喊"莎翁万岁"
Hands in, "Shakespeare" on three.
每个人 牢记台词兼震翻全场
Everybody, know your lines and be awesome.
-一二三 -莎翁万岁
- One, two, three. - Shakespeare!
我知道你有多惨了
I see what you're dealing with here.
嘘 别让他发现你跟我说话
Shh! Don't let him catch you talking to me.
他会罚我做俯卧撑的
He'll make me do push-ups.
男生的俯卧撑
Boy push-ups.
打扰下 这里有人坐吗
Excuse me, is this seat taken?
抱歉 帮朋友留的
Sorry, I'm waiting for my friend.
没事
No problem.
这里有人坐吗
Is this seat taken?
-他就是单身汉吗 -只是这一季的[真人秀节目]- So that guy's the bachelor? - For this season.
一脸欠揍样
Looks like a guy you want to punch.
安静 玫瑰仪式要开始了
Shh! They're about to start the rose ceremony.
这些女人知道他是基佬吗
Do the women know he's gay?
好"意外"哦 他选了胸器最大的那个
Oh, big surprise. He chose the one with the biggest breasts.
她是个律师助理
And she's a paralegal.
他和另外两个女人约会的那晚
And they made a beautiful connection
这女人和他很来电
that night he dated those two other women.
是哦 他分别对那两个说"你是唯一"
Oh, yeah. Told them both they were the one.
知道吗 你这个陪看观众 比乔依还差劲
You know what? You're worse than watching this with Joy.
妈呀 乔依
Oh, my god, Joy!
我们约好看电影的
I was supposed to meet her at the movies!
打扰下
Excuse me,
看来我朋友不会来了
it appears my friend isn't coming after all.
谢谢 坐这里挺好的
Thanks, I'm good.
即将上映
Coming soon...
她们曾经亲如姐妹
They were as close as sisters,
直到那个夏天到来 改变了一切
until the summer that would change everything.
如果你没有朋友 你便一无所有
If you don't have friends, you have nothing.
一无所有
Nothing!
这两片嘴唇 含羞的信徒
My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand
愿意用一吻乞求你的宥恕
to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.
信徒 莫把你的手儿侮辱
Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much
这样才是最虔诚的礼敬
which mannerly devotion shows in this--
巴克 你又站错位了
Barker, you're out of position again.
来20个俯卧撑
Drop and gimme 20.
这是活生生的恶梦
This is a waking nightmare.
大家都害怕得没法演了
Well, everyone's just too scared to act.
除了你 扎克 你就是茂丘西奥
Except you, Zack. You are Mercutio.
这是我朋友 吉娜
This is my friend, Gina.
我的女朋友 吉娜
My girlfriend, gina.
是嘛 很高兴认识你 吉娜
Really. Well, nice to meet you, Gina.
你也是演员吗
And are you an actor also?
发型兼化妆师
Oh, hair and makeup.
我一直跟她说 我需要加个胡子
I keep telling her I should have a beard.
「男同胡须」是指同性恋
通过和女人交往 来掩盖同性性取向
加不加都一样
Oh, I wouldn't bother.
好了 各位 加快速度
All right, guys, pick up the pace.
无聊的戏份赶紧过
We need to motor through the boring parts.
教练 我知道一些演技训练技巧
Actually, coach, I know a couple of acting exercises
可以让大家放松下
I think might loosen everyone up.
这些小家伙不需要放松
These kids don't need loosening up.
他们需要把皮好好紧紧
They need a swift kick in the ass.
话说 我曾和像你这样专♥制♥的导演合作过
You know, I have worked with tyrannical directors like you.
不会出效果的
It's not helpful.
表演是团队协作
Performance is a collaboration.
女士 我只想快点到比剑的戏
Lady, I'm just trying to get to the sword fight.
《罗密欧与朱丽叶》可不是讲什么比剑的
Romeo and Juliet is not about a sword fight.
如果是的
Well, if it was,
可能会有更多人知道有这么个东西
maybe more people would have heard of it.
你是个差劲的导演
You are a terrible director,
我可是知道一两点执导演巧的
And I know a thing or two about directing.
我上过"一两点导演技巧"的课
I took a class called "A thing or two about directing."
好吧 如果你觉得你更牛逼你就上
Fine, if you think you can do better, go for it.
别让他们脱水就行 我们吃过官司
Just don't dehydrate them. We've had lawsuits.
不 你就...
No, but you d--
这是什么
What's all that?
我答应梅兰妮帮她修眉
Oh, I told Melanie I'd do her brows.
她那样对你 你居然
I'm surprised you're even speaking to her,
还跟她说话
the way she's been treating you.
没什么啦
Oh, it's okay.
她放了我几次鸽子
So she stood me up a few times.
人家新交了男朋友 我理解的
She has a new boyfriend. I get it.
这可不是借口
That's no excuse.
在波兰 修女有句话
In Poland, the nuns had a saying,
意思是 重闺蜜轻...
It means, "Chicks before..."
Chicks before dicks
重闺蜜轻鸡♥巴♥
你知道的
You know what.
修女会说这种话
The nuns said that?
当时还没有《音乐之声》
It was no Sound of Music.
女主为志愿修女 后嫁给男主
好吧
Right.
再次谢谢你帮我修眉
Thanks again for doing this.
昨晚的事 也再次向你道歉
And again, I'm so sorry about last night.
别再道歉了 我都忘了
Stop apologizing. It's all forgotten.
我没了时间概念
I just lost track of time.
只要和皮特在一起
Whenever I'm with Pete, I just--
我就忘了一切
I forget about everything else.
我有没有跟你说
Oh, did I tell you,
今天早上 他说了句好有爱的话
this morning, he said the cutest thing.
不好意思
Oh, my bad.
冷冻曲奇饼
Raw cookie dough?
你邮购的减肥秘鲁绦虫终于到啦
Did you finally get that Peruvian tapeworm you ordered?
没有 走私的又被海关抓了
No. The mule got caught at customs again.
今晚是首演 我需要能量
Look, it's opening night, and I need this.
不是进展顺利吗 出什么问题了
I thought everything was going great. What's the problem?
朱丽叶就是问题
The problem is Juliet.
跟死鱼似的
She's a lox.
最后她死的时候 都没人看出来
When she dies at the end, no one can tell,
因为她整出戏都是副死人样
because she's been so lifeless all along.
不是有候补吗
Doesn't she have an understudy?
没错 特里莎 提醒我给她送花
Ah, yes, Theresa. Remind me to send her flowers.
她今天下午生下了一个孩子
She had her baby this afternoon.
老天 我该怎么办
God, what am I gonna do?
可能她只是太害怕了
Maybe your actress is just scared.
你刚起步时难道不害怕吗
Weren't you scared when you started?
怕什么 奉承话太多吗
Of what? Too much adulation?
很明显 你没法理解没有天赋的人
Okay, clearly it's hard for you to relate to the untalented,
可是想象下 哪怕只是一瞬间
but imagine, just for a second,
你也跟他们一样会如何
what it would be like if you were one of them.
有灵感了 我知道怎么教育她了
Inspiration has struck. I know just what to say to her.
维多利亚·蔡斯的《罗密欧与朱丽叶》
Oh, Victoria Chase's Romeo and Juliet
将会取得巨大成功
is going to be a triumph!
应该是莎翁的《罗密欧与朱丽叶》吧
Isn't it William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet?
我改了些台词
Uh, well, I tweaked a few lines,
莎老头将和我共享殊荣
so Will and I are gonna share credit on the program.
-脱毛蜡很烫 准备好了吗 -好了
- The wax is hot. Ready? - Yeah, yeah.
这次眉弯能高点吗
Can you give me a little bit of a higher arch this time?
因为我明晚要和皮特的朋友们吃晚饭
Because I'm meeting Pete's friends for dinner tomorrow night,
我希望他们觉得我是美女
and I want them to think I'm pretty.
还有聪明啊什么的
Well, you know, and smart and stuff.
-明晚吗 -是的
- Tomorrow night? - Yeah.