燃情克利夫兰

我的错[坏]My bad.
坏 你已经好得跟童子军一样了
Bad? You're practically a boy scout!
当年那个坏男人到底怎么了
Whatever happened to that bad boy
他曾经把我"撞"得像玩回力球一样
who used to bounce me around like a jai alai ball?
你觉得我现在不行了吗
You think I still can't?
得了吧
Oh, please.
你干脆去扶老太太过马路好了
Why don't you just help some old lady across the street?
早知如此 何必浪费我一番脱毛的心血
God, what a waste of a wax job this turned out to be!
心形的吗
Heart-shaped?
计划的是这样 出来的效果却是三叶苜蓿
Well, it was the plan, but it turned out kind of shamrock-y.
做菜美味可口的那种吗
Is it magically delicious?
这本该是"久别胜当年"的激♥情♥重逢
Well, this is supposed to be a reunion.
那就这么做吧
Then let's make it one.
你觉得你还能一"举"降服我吗
Oh, you think you're up to it?
你觉得你还能承受吗
You think you can still handle it?
-赌城规矩 -不设上限
- Vegas rules? - No holds barred.
-受不了就叫"亨德里克斯" -第一站 餐具柜
- Safe word "Hendrix." - First stop credenza.
怎么了 我捏你的乳♥头♥捏痛了吗
What? Am I pinching your nipple too hard?
-不是 是我的膝盖 -好的
- No, it's my knee. - Okay.
不 去右边 去右边 去右边
No, to the right, to the right, to the right.
好痛 我的腰
Ow, my lower back.
你也腰腿不好
You too?
我的头发 头发卡住了
My hair , my hair is caught on something!
是我的医用手链
It's my medic-alert bracelet.
好了 就这里 快
All right. Here quick,
-等等 -怎么了
- Hold it. - What?
我要在上面
Uh, I need to be on top.
为什么
Why?
因为我是骑师你是... 照做吧
Because I'm the jockey, and you're-- oh, just do it!
痛 等等 住手
Aah! Wait, stop!
今早我拉伤了肌肉
I pulled a muscle this morning.
我刚刚扭伤了肩膀
I just wrenched my shoulder,
我觉得应该做完
but I think we should play through.
不不不 放手 放手
No, no, no! Let go! Let go!
痛痛 痛死了
Oh, ow, ow, oh! Agony!
对不起
Oh, I'm sorry.
妈呀 左胳膊几乎不能动了
My, can't even move my left arm.
既然你的右胳膊还能动...
Seeing as how your right arm's still working...
怎么了 我是坏男人
What? I'm a bad boy.
你是个白♥痴♥
You're an idiot.
天呐 这跟记忆里的差太远了
God, this is so not how I remembered it.
是啊 看来我们以前玩过的那些花样
Yeah, apparently a lot of the things we used to do
-没醉没嗑药时做挺痛的 -20岁也经得起折腾
- are pretty painful if you're not wasted. - Yeah, or 20.
我看我们做场低调的成年人性♥爱♥也不错
I suppose we could just have low-key grown-up sex.
谢了 何必糟蹋美好回忆呢
Uh, thanks, but why ruin the memories?
我们当时可真够劲 是吧
We were something together, though, weren't we?
没错
Yeah.
至少有段堕落的记忆 可以让我们回首
At least we'll always have something degrading to look back on.
没有也许更好吧
Aw, maybe it'd be better if we didn't.
不曾拥有 便不会怀念
I mean, you can't miss what you never had.
我还是很庆幸拥有过
I'm still glad we had it.
我也是
Me too.
我的骨科医生教了我一个小窍门
You know, my orthopedist showed me a little trick.
是吗
Yeah?
妈呀 好舒服
Oh, God, that's good.
搞什么名堂
So what's the deal?
动都没动 就拉伤了肌肉
I mean, you barely move and you pull a muscle?
可不是嘛
I know, right?
有一天 我穿袜子搞出了背部痉挛
The other day I got a back spasm putting on a sock.
我们在这里享受健康的周日清晨
Here we are having a wholesome Sunday morning,
维多利亚可能正鬼鬼祟祟溜出酒店大堂
and Victoria's probably skulking through some hotel lobby
内♥裤♥塞在手袋里 衣服也是穿反的
with her knickers stuffed in her purse and her blouse inside out.
幸运荡♥妇♥
Lucky trollop.
她哪里比得上我丢人
Well, she's got less to be ashamed of than I do.
我只希望海莉看到我的纸条 能原谅我
I just hope when Hailey gets my note, she forgives me.
什么纸条
What note?
我贿赂酒保塞给她道歉纸条
Oh, I paid the bartender to slip her an apology
和请她签名的CD
and a CD to autograph.
这样的话 如果我收到寄回的CD
So that way if I get it back in the mail,
就说明她原谅我了
I know she's forgiven me.
如果收到限制令 就知道她没有原谅你
And if you get a restraining order, you'll know she hasn't.
不会吧
Oh, no.
限制令没想的那么糟糕
Oh, they're not that bad.
你无法想象隔着90米 骂脏话骂得有多爽
You'd be surprised how much trash talking you can do from 300 feet.
幸运荡♥妇♥回来了
Oh, here comes the lucky trollop now.
谁去把天上那讨厌的光关掉吧
Somebody please turn out that hideous light in the sky.
你看起来堕落过了 也荒淫过了
You're looking properly debased and debauched.
你期待的无情蹂躏是否都实现了
Was the insensitive mauling everything you hoped?
他体贴细心 在床上可为我着想了
He was thoughtful and caring and very unselfish in bed.
可怜的东西
You poor thing.
你还好吗
Are you okay?
岂止是好
I'm more than okay.
虽然没有做全套
You know, we didn't do our whole catalog,
但却挑了精选重温
but we managed a medley of greatest hits.
今天早上 他在我的背上享受了
And then this morning he ate his egg whites and turkey bacon
蛋白和火鸡培根
off the small of my back.
梅兰妮
Melanie?
呼吸 看来没有限制令
Breathe. I don't see a restraining order.
有我这个大明星做她最好的朋友
Ah, you'd think being best friends with a famous celebrity
不料她见到名人还是这德性
she'd be over this by now, but...
你的衣服穿反了
Your blouse inside out?
失陪了
Excuse me.
我还是上去帮她吧
I better go and help her.
她昨天穿个胸罩就把肌肉拉伤了
Yesterday she pulled a bra muscle.
你们一起住吗
You all live here together?
是啊 跟大型睡衣派对似的
Yeah. It's like a big slumber party.
真不敢相信你亲自来了
I can't believe you're here.
请进来 请坐
Please, come in and sit down.
太疯狂了 我...
Wow, this is crazy. I mean, I just--
我的梦想成真了
this is like a fantasy come true for me.
你要我签名的CD我拿来了
I, um, brought that CD you wanted me to sign.
你的纸条很感人
Your note was very sweet.
每个字都是心里话
Oh, and I meant every word of it.
你 你真的太优秀了
You are...You're just amazing,
而且好漂亮
and you're so beautiful.
我心中的千思万绪真不知从何说起
I mean, I can't even begin to tell you everything that's in my heart,
不过我希望你明白我的意思 因为我...
but I hope you know what I mean because I...
没想到会这样
Did not see at comin'.
是的 我知道 我...
Yeah, I know. I...
通常我不会和粉丝纠缠不清
I don't usually get involved with my fans,
可你昨晚 那么笨手笨脚 那么可怜兮兮
but your passes last night were so clumsy and pathetic...
其实还是挺可爱的
It was actually kind of adorable.
我知道说这话你肯定很惊讶
This is clearly gonna come as a surprise to you,
可我不知道你是同性恋
but I had no idea you were gay.
当真吗
Seriously?
不是说这有什么关系 因为我很赞同搞这个
Not that it matters, 'cause I'm like totally down with that.
我是说 我很赞同其他人搞这个
You know, I mean... I'm down with other people being down with that.
我不赞同自己搞这个
But that's nohow I get down.
等等 我不明白 你怎么可能不知道
Wait, I don't get it. How could you not know?
我为什么会知道
Well, why would I?
首先 你拿的专辑名为《我喜欢女生》
Well, for starters, that CD you're holding's called I like girls.
你那首歌♥ 《爱我的蜜罐》
Oh, so your song "Love my honey pot"...
等下 你写给我的纸条
Wait, so the note that you wrote me
说什么我的音乐给了你勇气
that said that my music had given you the courage,
让真实的你走了出来[出柜]you know, to let the woman inside you come out...
是哦 明白了
Ohh, right. Yeah.
的确是很容易让人误解
I can see how that would be misleading.
那么你楼上的朋友
Yeah, but your friends upstairs,
帮忙穿胸罩的
helping each other with their bra--
也不是女同
Not gay, either.
享受音乐吧
Well, you joy that CD.