燃情克利夫兰

I do wanna move forward, not backward.
正是时候
Perfect timing.
坚强些 相信自己的直觉
Okay, now stay strong and stick to your guns.
肯定好难的
This is gonna be really hard.
也许特容易
Or incredibly easy.
谁知道呢
Who can say?
再见了 安德斯
Good-bye, Anders.
我真的觉得这样对我们两个都好
I really do think this is the best for both of us.
你看起来好痛苦的样子
You really do look like you're in a lot of pain.
不骗你 是真痛
I can honestly say I am.
怎么样了
What's happening now?
她在说些伤感的傻话
She's making some sappy speech
他的演技浮夸到极点
and he's overplaying like crazy.
简直就像《欢乐合唱团》里的煽情场面
It's like one of those warm moments on Glee.
她来了
She's coming!
装得自然点
Act natural.
我好难过
Well, I feel terrible.
他崩溃了
He was crushed.
他崩溃好过你崩溃
Well, better him than you.
那么 谁想喝杯莫吉托酒
So... who's up for mojitos?
我知道你们讨厌他
You guys, I know you don't like him,
可这次他是真心的 他都哭了
but he was really sincere this time. I mean, he cried.
我从来没见他哭过
I have never seen him cry before.
也许他真的改变了
Maybe he has changed.
也许他是新的安德斯 而新的梅兰妮犯了个大错误
Maybe he's new Anders, and new Melanie just made a big mistake.
没有 没有错误
Noo. No, no, no, no mistake.
新梅兰妮很正确
New Melanie, good.
也许这就像我喜欢的那些电影
Maybe this is like those movies that I love so much.
我追他到机场 在最后一刻
And this would be the scene where I Chase him to the airport
终于留住了他
and I catch him at the very last minute.
那些电影很弱智
Those movies are stupid.
你得停车 得追飞机
I mean, by the time you park, get the shuttle,
跑来跑去 反正很弱智
all that running... they're just stupid, okay?
也许他见到我会欣喜若狂 将我高高抱起
What if he's so happy to see me, he just lifts me up in his arms.
好浪漫哦
Oh, it'd be so romantic.
我这就去
I'm going.
梅兰妮 别去
Melanie, stop.
安德斯和金姆复合了
Anders and Kim got back together.
什么
What?
他不知道该如何告诉你
He didn't know how to tell you,
所以我们让他保证 这次由你来甩他
so we made him promise to let you break up with him this time.
这样你就不会再次受伤了
So you wouldn't get hurt again.
开什么玩笑
Are you kidding me?
你们怎么能这样对我
How could you guys do this to me?
是乔依的馊主意
It was all Joy's idea.
我是无辜卷入的
I just got swept up.
你和我是她邪恶游戏里的无辜棋子
You and I were both innocent pawns in her little game.
你去哪儿
Where are you going?
在他上飞机前追上他
To catch him before he gets on that plane!
我们要跟着她吗
Should we have gone after her?
不用 你也知道那些电影的桥段
No. You know how these movies work.
要等她嫁给白马王子时 闺蜜才会
The well-meaning best friends don't show up again
再出来露个面意思下
until she marries the right guy,
那一般都是在电影快要结束的时候了
and that's way, way, way at the end of the thing.
最终我们两个 一个陪新娘臭脾气的姥爷跳舞
One of us winds up dancing with the bride's randy grandfather,
另一个勾搭上了帅气的婚宴服务生
and the other one hooks up with the handsome cater waiter.
-婚宴服务生归我 -好吧
- I call the cater waiter. - Fine.
我有没有提到那个臭脾气姥爷是个亿万富翁
Oh, did I mention that the randy grandfather is a billionaire?
好的
Fine.
我有没有提到婚宴服务生其实是个落难王子
Did I mention the cater waiter's a secret prince?
我有没有提到那个姥爷是越活越年轻的
And did I mention that the grandfather is aging backwards,
就像皮特的那部电影
like Brad Pitt.
《本杰明·巴顿奇事》
安德斯
Ooh, Anders!
安德斯 安德斯
Anders, Anders!
女士 持票乘客才能过去
Ticketed passengers only, ma'am.
我知道 但那个穿蓝色衬衫卡其裤的男人
Oh, I know, but that man in the blue shirt and khakis,
我得追他回来
I gotta get him back.
我听了好友的劝 可我不该听的
See, I listened to my girlfriends, and I shouldn't have.
我得在他上飞机前和他说清楚 求你了
So now I just have to make it right before he gets on that plane, please.
真像是爱情电影的
This is just like the last scene
浪漫大结局片段
in all of those romantic comedies.
是啊 分秒必争的时刻
Yeah, where time is of the essence.
珍妮弗 有个穿着蓝色衬衫
Jennifer, there's a guy wearing
卡其裤的男人过去了
a blue shirt and khakis headed your way,
麻烦你叫他回来
Could you send him back please?
谢谢 太谢谢了
Thank you. Thank you so much.
我只想有个机会告诉他我的真实感受
I just need one more chance to tell him how I feel.
我来猜猜
So let me guess.
你们是同事 可你却从未
You worked with him, but you never saw him
觉得他是你的菜
as the kind of guy you would go out with.
或者 你们彼此看不顺眼
Or... or you were complete opposites,
直到你要嫁给一个势利的有钱佬
until the stuck-up rich guy you were about to marry...
梅兰妮
Melanie...
出什么事了
What's going on?
安德斯 乔依和维多利亚已经告诉我了
Anders, Joy and Victoria told me everything.
可在你上飞机前
But before you get on that airplane
我一定得告诉你我的感受
I really need to tell you how I feel.
你这个大@$%&....
You are the biggest...
我们还是夫妻时你就#$%*出轨了
You...cheated on me while we were married,
现在又利用我 背着你的*&%$未婚妻乱来
and then you used me to cheat on your...fiance
因为你#%@&不知道自己要什么
because you don't know what...the you want?
你是个自私的*@%$
You are a selfish...!
你只会考虑自己
Who doesn't think about anybody else but himself,
知道吗 你干脆#$@*自己好了
so you know what, you can just go...yourself!
我期待的是完全相反的版本
Really saw that going another way.
我擦
Puppy tails!
你好 麦克斯
Oh, hello there, Max.
爱尔卡在吗
Is Elka here?
她不回我的推特消息
She isn't returning my tweets.
进来吧
Come in.
你好
Hello,
我来找穿着运动衫的绝世美女
I'm looking for a little bit of heaven in a track suit.
她应该在这里的某个地方
She should be around here somewhere.
你来这里做什么
What are you doing here?
我来这里做什么
What am I doing here?
我来见我相好的
I came to see my girl.
你相好的
Your girl?
爱尔卡
Oh, Elka...
有人找你
You have company.
尼克 麦克斯 这真是太意外了
Nick, Max, what a colorful surprise.
我说了我不去"夏威夷风情夜"
I told you I wasn't going to the luau.
你背着我跟这蠢货偷♥情♥吗
You've been cheating on me with this putz?
蠢货 爱拼才会赢 秃蛋
Putz? What the heart wants the heart gets, cue ball.
只是跳了支波尔卡
It was one polka.
精神上没出轨 纯身体接触
It was just physical, it didn't mean anything.
你得承认我们之间的吸引力是
You have to admit what we have between us
原始兼强大的
is raw and powerful.
我让你见识什么叫原始兼强大
I'll introduce you to raw and powerful.
出拳吧 你还能抬起拳头不
Put 'em up, if you can still get them up.
-来真的吗 -来吧
- Really, huh? - Come on.
看我把你打得满地找牙
When I get through with you, you're gonna
让你吃个大饼还得用吸管
be eating your bran muffin through a straw.
先生们 先生们 冷静 冷静
Gentlemen, gentlemen, Please, please...
决斗可没办法让爱尔卡做出选择
Fighting isn't gonna help Elka make up her mind.
当然可以啦
Sure it is.
这是怎么了
What's going on in here?
他们在为争夺爱尔卡而决斗呢
They're fighting over Elka.
你和安德斯怎么样了
So what happened with Anders?
感觉太爽了
Ah, it was wonderful.
过去的梅兰妮 是个烂好人 不懂得发泄
The old Melanie, she was too nice to let it out.