鬼屋欢乐送

它不会
It wouldn't.
因为他们不是幻想出来的
Because they're not in here.
他们真的存在
They're out there.
巴顿庄园
我们把这卖♥♥了 买♥♥个新房♥
Right, we're selling up. We'll buy a little new-build.
买♥♥个我不喜欢的没有灵魂的小房♥子
One of those soulless little boxes that I've always hated.
一张床就行
One bed's fine.
只要没有过去就行
Just somewhere with absolutely no past whatsoever.
嗯
Right. Yeah.
只是
It's just...
就是
OK, er, well...
-我不希望让你生气 -我会生气吗
- I don't want you to get mad. - Am I going to get mad?
会 我问了贷款方
Yes. I spoke to the loan people and,
提前还款罚金
with the prepayment penalties and...
长话短说 现在反悔
Well, long story short, getting out now
我们可能会破产
would probably bankrupt us.
我加上"可能"只为让你好受点
And I only added "probably" to make it sound better.
你没看合同么
Didn't you read the contracts?!
我大致看了一下
I gave them what I'd call a lengthy skim.
迈克 我想杀了你
Oh, Mike, I could kill you!
好主意
Good idea!
但别在这 因为他可能
Though maybe not here, just because he might...
好吧
Right!
那只有一条路了 对吧
Well, there's only one thing for it, isn't there?
好吧 我看得见你们
Fine! I see you! OK?!
你是不会唱歌♥的少将
I see Major-General Can't-Sing,
你是笨蛋穴居人队长 你们我都能看到
I see Captain Cave-Prick, I see all of you!
你们赢了 好吧
OK? You win!
任务完成
Mission accomplished!
我承认你们的存在
I admit your existence.
你们想干吗
Now what the hell do you want?!
我们想让你们离开这个房♥子
We want you out of this house!
没错 你不属于这里
Yes, you do not belong here!
那就麻烦了 不是吗
Well, that's tough, isn't it?
多亏了我的购♥房♥♥贷款顾问
Because thanks to my resident mortgage advisor,
我们无处可去了
we're stuck here!
你真的吓到我了
OK, you're officially freaking me out.
要不你们走吧
So how about you leave?
-我们走不了 -在哪死的就得待在哪
- We can't leave. - You sort of just stays where you dies.
还要保持死时的样子 过去式
And how you dies... Died!
这里是经典的鬼屋
It's your classic haunted house.
-艾莉森 -嗯
- Er, Alison... - Whoa. Right.
所以我和你们都走不了了
So I can't go and you can't go.
那
So...
我怎么才能让你们离开我的视线呢
what will it take to get you all just out of my face, huh?
你们想要什么 真实目的是什么
What do you want? What do you actually want?!
尤其是 你
Specifically! You?
那我告诉你
Right! I'll tell you what we want.
我们要求
We demand that...
一周可以看一小时坦克
one hour a week of the thing about tanks
和超级武器 谢谢
and anything on superweapons, please? Thank you.
-好 下一位 -我是不是该打个电♥话♥
- Done! Next. - It feels like I should call someone?
打给谁
Who you gonna call?!
你 老太婆
You, Sourpuss.
取下我丈夫的画像 把我墙上的洞填上
Remove my husband's portrait, and fill the hole in my wall!
-好 你呢 -和他离婚 自杀 嫁给我
- Done. You? - Divorce him, kill yourself, marry me.
-不行 -哪样不行
- No. - To which bit?
-你呢 -我只想说句你好
- You? - I just wanted to say hello!!
-你好 -你好啊
- Hello! - Oh, hello.
我代表自己和鬼魂伙伴
And on behalf of myself and my fellow ghosts...
让古歌♥那些诽谤的混♥蛋♥
Listen. I want those slanderous beggars at Goggle
下个版本修改我的条目
to amend my entry for the next edition.
我是受人尊敬的
I am a respectable...
行不通的 那是网络
It doesn't work like that, it's the internet.
那他们的总部在哪
Right. And where are they based?
到处都是 遍布世界各地
It's everywhere. In every house in the country, in the world.
你是说全世界都认为我是
You mean every person on the planet just thinks of me as
死于性丑闻的奇葩下院议员
the weirdo MP who died in some sex scandal?
-那是你啊 -什么 不
- That was you?! - What? No!
其实我没有要求 下一个是谁
I don't want anything, actually. Who's next?
与撒旦断绝关系 女巫
Renounce Satan, witch!
好
Um, ok!
这样就够了
Yeah, yeah, that's probably done it.
那你呢 低配泰山
And what about you, Budget Tarzan?
你想要什么
What do you want?
-木有 谢谢 -没有
- Oh, nuffin', thanks. - Nothing?
所以你
So you just spent...
所以你过去三天
So you just spent the last three days
毫无理由地
hiding in every little tiny little dark corner
藏在这个房♥子的
in this entire house,
黑暗小角落里
scaring me out of my mind,
把我吓个半死
for no reason?!
找点事干吗
Well, it was something to do.
到我了 我觉得我们有很多共同点
My turn! I think we've got a lot in common.
我刚搜了"精神病发作"
OK, so I've just googled "psychotic break"
我没说你是啊
and I'm not saying that this is one,
但这里有篇文章说你应该
but there is an article that I think you should have a...
迈克 我不是 你能跟我过来一下吗
Mike, this isn't... Can you just come with me?
都过来
All of you!
你去哪
Where are you going?
让你们都闭嘴
To shut you all up.
马这样 这样
Horsey to go dooka-dakka-deeko.
这样 这样
Dooka-dakka-deeko.
好 到你了
OK, you go.
我可以把你比作夏日吗
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
莎士比亚十四行诗第18首
再轻柔点
Even more softly.
下次通宵派对是什么时候
When's our sleepover again?
-三月八日 -现在呢
- Eighth of March. - And what is it now?
-六月 -太兴奋了
- June. - Oh! So exciting!
还要播多久
How long's this on for?
我得联♥系♥一下"维基·百科"
I need to contact this Vicky Pedia.
手段很高明
Er, well played.
看来你的确有点巴顿的血统
Perhaps there is some Button blood in those veins after all.
我不完全信服 但我移走了
Well, I'm not sure I buy all this, but I've moved the painting.
墙上的洞填上了吗
And bricked up the hole?
嗯 我把洞填上了
Yeah, I... filled... the hole.
这可不行
Oh, this will NOT stand!
你看起来开心多了
Well, you seem happier.
好消息是我没疯
The good news is I'm not mad.
那我就放心了 坏消息呢
That's a relief. What's the bad news?
他们疯了
They are.
维基·百科
艾莉森
Alison!
将右侧刻度盘水平转动
Turn the right-hand dial horizontal.
然后按下点火开关
And press the ignition.
好吧
Ok.
我相信你
I believe you.
然后
And, er...
谢谢
...thank you?
-他们说不用谢 -他们
- They say you're welcome. - "They"?
你是说有两个人
You mean there's two of them?!
是的
Yes.