离婚

而且 亨利这周末要带我去迈阿密
Besides, Henry is taking me to Miami this weekend.
-挺好啊 -嗯
- Nice! - Mm-hmm.
跨越州界
Crossing state lines.
我们要跨越州界
We're crossing state lines.
好吧
Well...
是的 敬我前夫
Yes. To my ex-husband...
在他婚礼的前夜
on the eve of his wedding.
愿你拥有你应得的一切幸福
May you have all the happiness you so richly deserve.
一段充满爱的婚姻
A marriage filled with love...
还有健康
good health...
和信任
and trust.
谢谢
Thanks.
等等 我刚想到了
Wait, it just hit me.
这是我的单身汉派对
This is my bachelor party.
就这样
This is it.
跟我前妻一起
With my ex-wife.
我没叫脱衣舞♥女♥
I didn't order strippers
因为我知道她们会让你很害怕
because I know how much they scare you.
对了
Right there.
你知道我绝不会对你撒谎
You know I could never lie to you.
我不知道我在做什么
I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
真的吗
Really?
我要结婚生子了
I'm getting married and having a baby
而我认识女方不超过一年
with somebody that I haven't even known for a year.
有人会觉得这是疯了
Some people would think that was psychotic.
但你似乎沉浸爱河
But you seem so happy in love.
是啊 也许是婚礼前的神经过敏
Yeah, maybe it's just pre-wedding jitters.
会没事的
Yeah, it's... It'll be fine.
我们结婚前你有这种感受吗
Well, did you feel that way before we got married?
没有
No.
又是你俩 每周都是
Oh! You two again! Every week!
我要告诉丹你们偷了他的桌子
I'm telling Dan you stole his table!
什么情况
What?
我不知道
I don't have a clue.
我快准备好了
I'm almost ready.
不好 快好了吗
Oh, no. Almost?
天啊
Oh boy.
好吧
Okay.
你好
Hello.
-你肯定是弗朗西丝 -是
-You must be Frances. -Mm-hmm.
我是厄苏拉 亨利的前妻
I'm Ursula, Henry's ex.
你好
Oh, hi, yeah.
-很高兴认识你 -我也是
- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
他在 我不知道
Oh, he's, um... I don't know.
我不需要找他 工资单
I don't need him. Payroll.
好
Okay.
你俩要出去玩吗
You two going away?
-是的 迈阿密 -真聪明
- Yeah, Miami. - Smart.
你们该趁早享受
You should enjoy it while it's still there.
厄苏拉
Ursula?
对 是厄苏拉
Yeah, it's Ursula.
你应该带上防晒霜
You should pack some sunscreen.
他会像一捆干草一样烧起来
He burns like a bale of hay.
好
Oh. Okay.
我知道
Yeah, I knew that.
祝你玩得开心
Have a good time.
艾拉说莱拉还没到沙龙
Hey, Ella says Lila's not at the salon yet.
什么 我给她打电♥话♥
What? I'll call her.
-嗨 -好啊
- Hi. - Oh, hey, man.
放厨房♥吧
Uh, yeah, you can just put those in the kitchen.
莱拉
Lila.
你在哪里 给我回电 谢谢
Where are you? Call me. Thank you.
好
Oh, hey, yeah.
放哪儿都行
Yeah, you can just set those anywhere.
抱歉 请问你有纱布和抗菌软膏吗
Sorry, do you have some gauze and some antibacterial ointment?
我受伤了
I'm in bad shape here.
波比 能把我的裙子给我吗
Bobby, can you bring me my dress?
我想准备好一切
I want to get everything all set.
不
No.
我完全忘了 那还在车里
Oh, man, I, I totally forgot. It's still in the truck.
我就要你做这一件事
That was the one thing I asked you to do.
公平来说 不止这一件事
In all fairness, it wasn't just the one thing.
你觉得我喜欢安排你做一切吗
Do you think I like asking you to do everything?
老娘巴不得自己去干洗
I would kill to drop off my own dry cleaning!
抱歉 你能穿另一条裙子吗
I'm sorry. Can you wear a different dress?
那是我怀孕那晚穿的裙子
It's the dress I wore the night we got pregnant.
我想在婚礼日穿
I wanted to wear it on my wedding day.
这是唯一一件
It is the one thing
依然跟我想象一样的东西
that was still gonna be the way I pictured it.
-对不起 -听着 罗比
- I'm sorry. - Look, Robby.
我知道你之前结过婚 但我没有
I know you've been married before, but I haven't.
这对我来说还是件大事
And this is still a very big deal to me.
比我以为的还要重大
Even bigger than I thought it would be.
稍等
Wa-- wait a second.
我之前结过婚
Yeah, I was married before.
然后我经历了地狱之火和酸浴般的
And then I had to go through a hellfire, acid bath
离婚
of a fucking divorce.
现在我又要结婚了
And now I'm getting married again.
所以是的 这对我来说是件大事
So, yeah. Shit, yeah. This is a big deal to me.
这次的婚姻必须长久
This one has to be forever.
给你
Here, man.
-抱歉 我不该开车的 -老兄
- I'm sorry, I shouldn't drive. - Dude!
滚
Get the fuck out!
能把我的脏裙子拿来吗
Could you please get me my dirty dress?
好 办公室 妈妈家 机场
All right-- office, Mom's, airport.
是 但我们得动起来
Yeah, but we gotta, gotta keep it moving.
我们要在机场待三小时
What the hell are we gonna do for three hours
干什么
at the airport anyway?
有充裕的时间会让我更舒服
It just makes me feel more comfortable to have time.
我喜欢早点到
I like to get there early,
买♥♥《室内设计世界》杂♥志♥
buy my World of Interiors magazine,
油腻的肉桂卷
my greasy Cinnabon.
这让我感觉很好
Just makes me feel good.
那么
So, does, um...
厄苏拉
does Ursula just...
一直出入你的公♥寓♥吗
walk in and out of your apartment all the time?
不 我告诉她我在和你约会
No. I told her I've been dating you.
她这样做就是为了搞我
She did it just to screw with me.
你知道
Oh. Well, you know,
俗话说 和一个人旅行
they say that you can learn so much about a person
能了解他的很多方面
by traveling with them.
我已经了解了
I already have.
得换掉锁 别让你前妻进来
Gotta change the locks on your ex-wife.
-没问题 -好 把杂货给我
- Done. - Okay, here, give me the groceries.
实际上 我一直想提一件事
Uh, been meaning to mention something, actually.
厄苏拉和我不算是离婚了
Ursula and I aren't technically divorced.
什么
What?
天啊 我喜欢你的造型
Oh, my God! I love your look!
很有趣 但是很冷静
It's fun but pulled together.
非常感谢
Oh, well, thank you very much!
是瑞贝卡·泰勒的
It's Rebecca Taylor.
别告诉别人 是三季前的老款了
Don't tell anyone, but it's from three seasons ago.
你该帮我
You know, you should help me.
我想进行完整的风格改造
I'm thinking of a complete style makeover.
-是吗 -是的
- Is that right? - Yeah.
好嘛
Well, well, well.
我要让你改头换面
I am gonna break you down
焕发新生
and build you back up
从头到脚
stitch by stitch.
我叫黛安
I'm Diane.