爸爸好尴尬（2021）

So, no sushi?
所以 不吃寿司了
Yeah. For sure. I'll be there later. I promise, okay?
不是 当然要吃 我过会儿去 我保证 好吗
Just like you promised to pick me up from the airport?
就像上次你保证会来机场接我一样
Stop bringing up old stuff.
别在这翻旧账了
Y'all from South Korea or North Korea?
你们来自北♥韩♥还是南韩
All right.
好吧
I'm sorry your dad didn't make it to dinner.
真遗憾 你♥爸♥不能陪你吃晚餐
Do you want some ice cream?
想吃冰淇淋吗
That's mine, now.
那是我的了
I got the munchies in the Uber
刚才我坐优步 司机拒绝
when the driver refused to stop at the DQ.
在冰雪皇后停车 把我饿坏了
Now, how hard is it to make a U-turn on I-75?
在75号♥州际公路上掉头能有多难
You know, Pops, I'm surprised you even know what Uber is.
老爹 我很惊讶 你居然还知道优步
No, he doesn't.
不 他不知道
He just gets in people's cars and yells at them to take him home.
他只是坐进别人的车 大吼大叫地让别人送他回家
Well, it's all very confusing.
真让人闹不明白
I don't know why they call it UberPool, ain't no water in it.
搞不懂为什么叫"优步拼车" 司机开得一点都不"拼"
I rode for 45 minutes in a Speedo.
害我穿着游泳裤坐了45分钟
My ass was itching.
屁♥股♥痒死了
You know, I thought this time would be different.
我以为这次会不一样
But it's the same as always where I'm never a priority for him.
结果还是和以前一样 他从来不把我放在首要位置
Like last year, when I had that science fair
就像去年我参加科学挑战赛
and he FaceTimed in from a club.
他居然在夜店跟我视频
Well, you did get to see DJ Khaled.
但是你见到DJ哈立德了呀
How'd it go with the investors? It was great. And, you know, they...
-投资者的事办得怎么样 -很顺利 他们...
They thought I looked so much like Obama, so I had to hit 'em like...
他们觉得我长得很像奥巴马 所以我只能跟他们说
"And if there's any indication
"如果有任何迹象表明
that an investment in BAY is an investment in America,
投资贝杨公♥司♥就是投资美国
Sasha, Malia, Bo, they can all work.
萨莎 玛丽亚 阿博 他们都可以工作
Yes, we can."
是的 我们能行"
Okay. Well, when the Obama starts, I gotta go.
好吧 你开始模仿奥巴马 我就该走了
Have a good night.
晚安
See you later.
再见
They really loved that impression. Did you like it?
他们很喜欢看我这段模仿 你喜欢吗
Look, Sash...
听着 萨莎...
I really apologize for not making it,
今晚没能陪你吃饭 我非常抱歉
but things went great. And we could go tomorrow.
但事情办得很顺利 我们可以明天去
Whatever.
无所谓了
Can't wait to see what excuse you come up with next.
很想看看下次你会找什么借口
"Excuse"? First of all, who you talking to?
"借口" 首先 你在跟谁说话
You know, it's always something with you.
你总是这样
You left me at the airport, you couldn't take me to dinner.
你把我一个人丢在机场 不能带我去吃晚餐
Do you even want me here? What?
-你真想让我住在这里吗 -什么
Maybe you and I are like your pants and we just don't fit.
也许我们像你的裤子一样 就是不合适
You don't like my pants?
你不喜欢我的裤子
Sash, come on, now.
萨莎 别这样
You're overreacting. You know me. "Overreacting."
-你反应过度了 你了解我 -"反应过度"
You know, you're right, I do know you.
没错 我确实了解你
People seem to like you. They think you're a fun guy. But...
大家都喜欢你 觉得你很风趣 但是...
But what?
但是什么
You're just not a good dad.
你不是一个好爸爸
Sa... Sash, come on. Sash. Sash!
萨莎 别这样 萨莎
Come down here.
下来
I'll take the pants off.
我把裤子脱掉就是了
You know what? Back in the day,
知道吗 回到从前
if I would have said that to my parents,
我要是像她这样跟我父母说话
I would be waking up in ICU, wondering where my kidney was.
我会在加护病房♥里醒来 纳闷我的肾去哪儿了
But... this ain't back in the day.
不过... 现在不比从前了
I think I gotta fix this one.
我要补救这个过失
Dad, what's going on? I was still sleeping.
老爸 这是干什么 我还没睡醒呢
This is why you need to fix my lock.
所以说 你必须把我的门锁修好
You lucky you got a door.
你还有房♥门 就偷着乐吧
Look, just stand right here, okay?
听着 站在这里 好吗
And don't move until I count to three.
不要动 直到我数到三
Uno, dos, tres!
一 二 三
What the...
搞什么...
My God! That's J Balvin!
天啊 这是J巴尔文的歌♥
Dad, that was awesome! Yeah, baby.
-爸爸 太棒了 -是的 宝贝
I mean, even your dancing was a little...
虽然你的舞蹈有点...
But you sounded great.
但你唱得很好听
How did you even remember J Balvin was my favorite artist?
你怎么会记得J巴尔文是我最喜欢的歌♥手
You know what? I've been taking my omega-3s.
知道吗 我一直在服用不饱和脂肪酸
And not only that, but Manny's ringtone is J Balvin,
不仅如此 曼尼的手♥机♥铃♥声♥ 就是J巴尔文的歌♥
so we cooked something up.
所以我们就编了这一段
And I want you to know that I love you,
我想让你知道我爱你
and I'm just trying to make sure that our relationship... is tight.
我只想确保我们的关系... 亲密无间
I'm sorry for what I said.
对不起 我不该说那些话
Don't worry about it. It's just like how people say I can't dance,
没事 就像有人说我不会跳舞
or I don't know how to dress. But I think I look good, right?
说我不懂装扮 但我觉得自己挺帅的 对吧
But I just want to let you know that, from now on...
但我只想让你知道 从现在起...
nothing is more important than you, Sash.
任何事情都不如你重要 萨莎
Not even BAY.
贝杨公♥司♥也不例外
What about Disney World? Don't push it.
-那迪士尼乐园呢 -见好就收吧
All right, now.
好了
That was real nice, what you did for Sasha.
刚才你为萨莎做的事真的很贴心
But I still think the end could have used more harmonica, man.
但我还是觉得 结束时可以多加点口琴伴奏
All I know is I'm in the mood for some Chipotle.
我只知道 我现在想吃墨西哥烧烤
That's racist.
这是种族歧视
But I'll drive.
不过我来开车
I'll bring you tacos, guys.
我给你们带墨西哥卷饼
B. Talk to me, Matt.
-阿布 -快跟我说说 马特
The investors had a great time last night.
昨晚投资者玩得很尽兴
I knew they would. I killed it! They loved you.
-我就知道 我♥干♥得漂亮 -他们欣赏你
Man. Good. So we in the money.
伙计 很好 那我们拿到投资了
They're not going to invest. Not gonna invest? Why not?
-他们不打算投资 -不打算投资 为什么
They just don't believe in BAY's business plan.
他们还是信不过贝杨公♥司♥的企划案
Plus, they found out you weren't actually related to Obama, so...
而且他们发现你和奥巴马并不是亲戚 所以...
Hold on a second. What's up, baby?
等一下 什么事 宝贝
What? Trish, we...
什么 翠西 我们...
Goddamn, we talked about this!
见鬼 我们谈过这事
I gotta go.
我得走了
Gotta put out another fire. It's the third one this week.
又要去灭火了 这个礼拜第三次了
Make sure she drop and roll, man.
别忘了叫她卧倒翻滚 伙计
In my expert opinion,
根据我的专业意见
y'all don't need therapy.
你们不需要心理治疗
What y'all need to do is bond.
你们需要的是感情纽带
You need to get to know each other,
你们需要了解对方
spend more time with each other and grow.
多陪陪对方 共同成长
When I work with couples, there's always a leader and a follower.
找我治疗的夫妻 总是有一个领导者和一个跟随者
Sometimes he'll lead and you'll follow,
有时候他领导 你跟随
sometimes you'll lead and he'll follow.
有时候你领导 他跟随
It's all about love, honey. Here, come walk this way.
关键是有爱 亲爱的 来吧 过来这边
I want you to go outside here,
我要你出去
and I want you to have a seat in the lobby,
在大厅里坐下
and think about the stuff I've talked about.
好好想想我跟你说的话
I'm gonna talk to your dad about the bill, okay?
我和你♥爸♥谈谈账单的事 好吗
It was really a pleasure working with you. Now, you...
很高兴和你谈心 好了 你...
There's about seven minutes left on the clock.
你预约的时间还剩七分钟
I don't want you to waste your money.
我不想浪费你的钱
Last I checked,
据我所知
this couch was a pullout, so...
这张沙发可以拉出来变成床 所以...