爸爸好尴尬（2021）

It's more like "Pops at the door."
这里更像是"爸爸多事"
Johnny, why are we at my house?
约翰尼 我们怎么在我家
You said to stop asking you out on dates,
你让我别再约你出去约会了
so I decided to ask you in on a date.
所以我决定约你在家里约会
Bonjour, monsieur.
你好 先生
Now look, we don't have no menu,
听着 我们没有菜单
but I memorized the specials.
不过特色菜我都背下来了
We got leftover sushi and three-day-old barbecue.
我们有吃剩的寿司和放了三天的烤肉
The chef recommends the barbecue 'cause the sushi don't travel well.
主厨推荐烤肉 因为寿司快散了
Here you go.
给你
What's this?
这是什么
That's the check.
这是账单
The bill is due before you chew.
先买♥♥单 后开饭
I said I'd pay you to have this catered with fine dining,
我说我愿意花钱请你做一顿大餐
not your leftovers.
不是你的剩菜
Our leftovers come from a very fine establishment.
我们的剩菜来自一家极其高档的餐厅
Le Crack-el Barr-el.
饼干桶餐厅
Does the barbecue come with baked beans?
烤肉配烘豆吗
It did.
本来是配的
I'll bring your things when the microwave dings.
等微波炉响了 我就给你们上菜
Isn't this nice? It's our first official date.
不错吧 这是我们第一次正式约会
This is not a date.
这不是约会
If it's not a date, why is there someone here selling flowers?
如果不是约会 为什么会有人卖♥♥花
That's just Manny.
这是曼尼
No, that's not Manny!
不 这不是曼尼
He's Manuel, the flower salesman.
他叫曼纽尔 是卖♥♥花郎
Buenas noches. Good evening.
晚上好
Some flowers for the madam? Gracias, señor.
-要不要给这位女士买♥♥束花 -谢谢 先生
We'll take all the flowers you have. Sí, cómo no.
-你的花我们全要了 -好的 没问题
"RIP Gladys"? Who the hell is that?
"安息吧 格拉迪斯" 她是谁
That's my third-grade teacher.
我三年级的老师
And we thank her for bringing us together in death.
感谢她死后给我们当红娘
That will be $75.
75美元
75 dollars? You just stole them off her gravesite!
75美元 这些花是你从墓地偷来的
No, hand-picked them off her gravesite.
不 是在她的墓地亲手摘的
Thank you. Might I interest you in a casket?
谢了 请问需要棺材吗
Why would we want a casket?
我们要棺材干什么
I don't know. It seems like this relationship is dying.
不知道 这段恋情似乎快要死掉了
This isn't a relationship. Yet!
-这不是恋情 -暂时还不是
We didn't order sushi.
我们没点寿司
Barbecue's gone.
烤肉没了
We'd like some wine. So would I.
-我们想来点红酒 -我也想来点
Let me know if y'all gonna make a liquor store run.
如果你们要去酒水店 告诉我一声
Marcus is so crazy.
马库斯太疯狂了
Who is Marcus? And why is he so crazy?
谁是马库斯 他怎么疯狂了
He's my little trainer friend.
他是我的教练兼朋友
But he gonna take me to the real Pappadeaux's tomorrow night.
但明天晚上 他会带我去真正的帕帕多思餐厅
That doesn't sound like a very responsible trainer.
听起来这个教练好像不怎么负责啊
Don't worry. He gonna work me out.
放心吧 他会陪我一起运动的
I got half a Kit Kat bar if y'all want dessert.
如果你们想要甜点 我还有半块奇巧巧克力
Speak now or forever lose this piece.
想要就快说 过时不候
All right.
好吧
That's my chain! Give me my chain! Keith, that's my chain!
那是我的项链 还我的项链 基思 那是我的项链
Give me! My neck is... My neck is naked.
给我 我的脖子... 我的脖子没项链了
My neck is naked. Keith! Keith!
我的脖子没项链了 基思
Give it! Give it back!
还我 还给我
Dad! Dad, are you okay? Yeah.
-爸爸 你没事吧 -没事
What, did you sleep down here?
昨晚你睡在楼下吗
Yeah, I did. I was up all night?
是的 我整晚没睡
Working on your troll. My troll?
-在对付你的喷子 -我的喷子
You know, I ate a whole damn box of Troll House Cookies.
我吃了一整盒"喷子屋饼干"
Anyway, the great philosopher Sun Tzu says,
伟大的思想家孙子说过
"In order to fight the troll, you must become the troll."
"欲斗喷子 必先成为喷子"
Why are you talking like Nelson Mandela?
干嘛学纳尔逊·曼德拉的口吻
I don't know.
我不知道
Anyways, my troll is gone.
总之 我的喷子消失了
He probably found someone else to pick on.
也许他找到新的霸凌对象了
Or he found the unemployment line,
也可能他去排队领♥取♥失业救济了
'cause I got him fired from Papa John's.
因为我让他被"约翰爸爸"披萨店开除了
Sorry, Shaq.
对不住了 沙克
Thanks for looking out for me, Dad. That's what dads do.
-谢谢你保护我 老爸 -这是老爸应该做的
But just so you know,
不过提醒你一下
the troll might be coming after you next.
你可能是喷子的下一个目标
Look at that. See this? I'm a thumb thug now.
你看 看见了吗 我现在是拇指恶霸
What's up, guys?
你们好
I'll leave you guys to yourselves.
你们慢慢聊
Is your sister here?
你妹妹在家吗
Our date last night ended a little weird.
昨晚我和她约会 结束时有点小尴尬
But she didn't mean what she said.
不过她说的话不是认真的
Whatever she said, she meant.
她说的话就是认真的
Yeah, she said that, too. But she didn't mean it.
对 她也这样说 但她不是认真的
I'm so sorry about Zia and everything like that.
齐娅受伤的事我很抱歉
But think about this.
不过你不妨这样想
You don't have to worry about her kissing any boys
在很长一段时间内 你都不必担心
for a long long time.
她会和男生接吻了
We just gotta work the kinks out, though, in that formula.
不过我们必须解决配方问题
It's probably nothing. Zia's allergic to everything.
可能没什么 齐娅对任何东西都过敏
Yeah, we don't even use detergent anymore.
现在我们连清洁剂都不用了
So what are you saying?
什么意思
You saying that the lip gloss actually didn't blow her lips up?
你是说那款唇彩没有炸烂她的嘴唇吗
Probably not. I think you're good.
应该没有 我认为你们的产品没问题
I gotta go apologize to Gunther.
我得向刚瑟道歉
Yeah, over in Germany.
对 他在德国
What time is it in Düsseldorf?
杜塞尔多夫现在是几点
I...
我...
Damn! That's deep. Go deeper, go deeper!
真舒服 好深 再深一点
Yeah. Feels good, doesn't it?
是啊 很舒服吧
Yeah, we'll open up your hip flexors even more later, all right?
一会儿让你的髋屈肌再张大一点 好吗
Yeah.
好
Babe! What the hell's going on?
宝贝 这是怎么回事
Get away from my girlfriend!
离我的女朋友远一点
I am not your girlfriend!
我不是你的女朋友
This is my trainer, Marcus.
这是我的教练马库斯
What up, bro?
你好 老兄
And it's just a workout.
我们只是在锻炼
Well, this workout ain't working out.
这样锻炼行不通
Give me a second.
等我一会儿
You know what, Johnny? You're right.
知道吗 约翰尼 你说对了
This ain't working out. We're over.
这样行不通 我们结束了
You look a little tense, bro.
你好像有点紧绷 老兄
Let me rub on those shoulders.
我帮你按按肩膀吧
I'm good, Pop, hold it straight! I am!
-老爹 拿稳点 -很稳啊
Trying to put this fire out. No pun intended.
我在为这件事灭火 这不是双关语
I don't want #Baysucks trending,
我不想"贝杨很烂"标签太热门
and I don't want no shaky-ass Worldstar video, either.
我也不希望发到"世界之星"的视频晃来晃去的
Ain't nothing wrong with Worldstar.
"世界之星"很好啊
I directed some of their greatest videos.
那上面有些很棒的视频就是我导演的
You ever seen "The Fish That Saved Palmdale"?
看过"拯救棕榈谷的鱼"吗
And we're live!
开始直播
Pops, I thought you was gonna give me an "action."
老爹 我以为你要说"开始"
Stop complaining, boy, and put on your lipstick.
别抱怨了 小子 把口红涂上
Action!
开始
What's up? It's, Brian Dixon.
大家好 我是布莱恩·狄克逊
I'm the head honcho here at Bay Cosmetics.
我是贝杨公♥司♥的老板
There was a viral video going around
网上有一段视频很火
with a girl whose lips exploded
内容是一个女孩的嘴唇爆♥炸♥了
because of our lip gloss.
原因是我们的唇彩
But I want to tell you this.
但我想告诉你们
It wasn't our fault. It was her father's genetics.
那不是我们的错 而是她父亲的基因不好
That's why you can't have white friends.
这就是为什么不能交白人朋友