爸爸好尴尬（2021）

Dad, I just... I just really want this to be cool.
老爸 我只是... 我只希望这次经历会很酷
Babe, it's going to be cool.
宝贝 会很酷的
And you know what's gonna make it cooler? Karaoke!
知道什么东西能让它变得更酷吗 卡拉OK
Hah! I already locked in the playlist of the songs that I want.
我已经设定了我想听的歌♥曲播放列表
Give me your list later. No...
-等会把你的列表给我 -不...
But you know "karaoke" is Japanese for "Beer goes in, music..."
"卡拉OK"是日语 意思是"啤酒灌下去 音乐..."
♪ Comes out ♪
♪ 唱出来 ♪
Shrimp Princess, out.
虾公主不奉陪了
Okay, I guess you don't have your playlist?
好吧 看来你没准备播放列表
You're doing it wrong.
你这样做不对
You're the reason why I pretend I can't understand English.
就是因为你 我才假装听不懂英语
But that shit isn't even level, man.
但是地面都不平整 伙计
Looks like you pouring a wheelchair ramp.
像是在铺设一条轮椅坡道
Look, I don't work for you. Mr. Brian pays me.
听着 我不是为你打工 是布莱恩先生给我发工资
Or he's supposed to, anyway.
或者说他应该给我发工资的
And what do you know about construction?
再说 你懂什么建筑施工
Man, please! You know that county jail off of I-75?
伙计 拜托 知道75号♥州际公路旁边的县监狱吗
I built that box when I was in that box.
那是我在那里坐牢时亲手建的
And it's sturdy as hell, too.
而且坚固得不得了
And if you ever get stuck in cell B-53,
如果你将来被关进B-53号♥牢房♥
there's an extra roll of dookie paper behind a loose brick.
那里有一块松动的砖 后面藏着一卷额外的厕纸
Well, if you know so much, why don't you give me a hand?
既然你这么在行 干嘛不帮帮我
Well, in the America that I'm from,
在我的那个美国
we pride ourselves on doing our own work.
我们以自己完成工作为荣
Work? But you don't work.
工作 但你不工作啊
Your job last summer was selling fake tickets to the BET Awards,
去年夏天 你的工作是贩卖♥♥黑人娱乐电视奖的假票
and you spelled "BET" wrong.
还把"娱乐"写错了
First of all, that's not my job, it's my hustle.
首先 那不是我的工作 而是骗钱
And second of all, I didn't spell nothing wrong,
其次 写错字的人不是我
the dude at Kinko's did.
是金考快印店的那个家伙
He's gonna take me to...
他会带我去...
I understand Spanish, my friend.
我听得懂西班牙语 朋友
♪ Ain't no mountain high enough ♪
♪ 没有一座山足够高 ♪
Ain't no way I'm singing that.
我才不唱那首歌♥呢
Sash... Sash, listen...!
萨莎... 听着...
Sash, listen. Listen.
萨莎 听着
How about the Jennifer Hudson version?
珍妮佛·哈德逊的版本怎么样
♪ Ain't no mountain high enough ♪
♪ 没有一座山足够高 ♪
♪ And you, and you, and you ♪
♪ 而你 而你 而你 ♪
♪ Ain't no mountain ♪
♪ 不是一座山 ♪
Mr. Dixon.
狄克逊先生
Put my shrimp down.
把我的虾放下
Girl!
妹子
Girl, this line is popping! I was telling you.
-妹子 排队的人很火爆啊 -早就跟你说过
I've seen at least two SoundCloud rappers
我已经看到了至少两个
I've had... situationships with.
跟我... 约过的网络说唱歌♥手
Girl, you're still breadcrumbing Lil' Sneezy?
妹子 你还在 跟"小喷嚏精"玩暧昧
But your Snapstreak ended two weeks ago.
但你们的网恋两周前就结束了
Girl, you need to drop that...
妹子 你得放下...
It's okay, I understood all of that.
好的 我全都听懂了
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Zia Williams.
女士们先生们 掌声欢迎齐娅·威廉姆斯
Fun fact, Zia was in the sixth grade three years in a row.
说个有趣的小知识 齐娅连续读了三年的六年级
Anyway, so what are you doing here?
对了 你来干什么
I thought we could all hang out.
我觉得我们可以一起玩
It's another person for you to throw shrimp at,
又多了一个让你扔虾的人了
and Zia here is really excited about the Yeezys.
而且椰子鞋让齐娅非常激动
There's Yeezys coming out?
有椰子鞋要发布了
Yes. That's why you wanted to come down here, remember?
是的 这就是你想来的原因 记得吗
Yeah. I do remember you saying I should say that.
对哦 我想起来了 你嘱咐过我要这样说
Who are we lying to again?
我们要骗谁来着
Look, whatever, y'all. Here, here. Have a seat.
听着 无所谓了 过来坐下
Look, we're doing karaoke. We only got two mics.
我们正在唱卡拉OK 只有两个话筒
Well, actually, we got three.
其实是三个
The third one has auto-tune in it.
第三个有内置的自动调音功能
That one is for you.
这首歌♥献给你
All right. We got the playlist right here.
好 这里有播放列表
I usually don't let people in, but... It's right here.
-通常我不带别人玩 不过... -就在这里
Hold on. If you have a request, it's time now.
等一下 如果你们想点歌♥ 现在就点吧
What do you want?
想听什么歌♥
Maybe some Doja Cat.
豆荚猫的歌♥
Remember our routine, remember? It goes...
还记得我们那套动作吗 像这样...
How about some Lionel Richie? That's what we got here.
来首莱昂纳尔·里奇的歌♥怎么样 我们只有他的歌♥
This is what we doing tonight, Lionel Richie.
今晚就唱他的歌♥ 莱昂纳尔·里奇
As a matter of fact, for the theme, since it's Yeezys,
事实上 为了切合主题 既然主题是椰子鞋
how about this?
这首歌♥怎么样
♪ Yeezy like Sunday morning ♪
♪ 椰子就像周日的清晨 ♪
Wack.
难听死了
Okay. Okay, you clowning? You clowning? How about this?
好吧 你取笑我 那这首呢
♪ You're once, twice Three times a sixth-grader ♪
♪ 你读过一次 两次 三次六年级 ♪
How about...
不如...
♪ Hello, is it me you're looking for? 'Cause... ♪
♪ 哈喽 你要找的人是我吗 因为... ♪
we'll be in the tent.
我们去帐篷里了
I'm gonna just take these. Yeah.
-我拿点这个 -对
Hold on. Sash. Sash, what is this? What's what?
-等等 萨莎 这是干什么 -什么干什么
We're supposed to be bonding and hanging out.
我们应该一起玩 培养父女感情
Why is she here?
她来干什么
Plus, she's gonna dumb down the smart TV I got in there.
而且 她会拉低我带来的智能电视的智商
I mean, we are hanging. And Zia's smarter than you think.
我们是在一起玩啊 齐娅没有你想的那么笨
Where's the bathroom in here?
帐篷里的卫生间在哪儿
She's really good at basketball.
她篮球打得很好
Well, I'm better.
我打得更好
Look, this is the time for me and you to bond.
听着 现在是我们培养感情的时候
But all you wanted to do is throw shrimp and sing songs.
但你只想着扔虾和唱歌♥
Don't think I didn't see the breakdancing mat in there.
别以为我没看见卷起来的霹雳舞垫
What...
你在...
you talking about?
说什么呢
Catch it... Come on, Dad.
-接上... -拜托 老爸
You know what? Fine. I'll go.
算了 好吧 我走
Why don't I just carry-my-oke out of here?
我还是拎着我的音箱走吧
Boy, loosen your damn jeans up.
小子 松松你的牛仔裤
Pop.
老爹
Listen, let me ask you something.
听着 问你一个问题
Do I need to get Brian's permission to fire Manny,
我开除曼尼需要征得布莱恩同意吗
or can I just call ICE?
还是直接联♥系♥移♥民♥局就行了
No, Pops. You can't fire a guy just 'cause you don't like him.
不 老爹 不能因为你不喜欢就开除一个人
But what happened?
出什么事了
Well, all I did is tell him his little funky concrete was crooked.
我只不过跟他说 他铺的地面凹凸不平
Listen, I'm a perfectionist.
听着 我是完美主义者
That man got all Ricky Ricardo on me.
结果那家伙冲我飙西班牙语
What up?
你好
Where's Sasha?
萨莎呢
Down at the Kanye thing with Zia.
在和齐娅排队抢♥购♥坎耶的鞋
Probably trying to convince Zia
很可能正试着让齐娅相信
that Samuel Jackson is not part of The Jackson Five.
塞缪尔·杰克逊不是"杰克逊五人组"的成员
That girl's not the smartest.
那个姑娘不太聪明
Last week she asked Sasha what date 9/11 happened on.
上个礼拜她还问萨莎 911恐袭是哪一天发生的
Tell you what, it was crazy out there.
告诉你吧 刚才太离谱了
You know what I don't get, though?
但是有件事我搞不懂
Sasha's on this thing, like,
在这件事上 萨莎摆出一副...
"I got so many friends." "I gotta go with my friend..."
"我有很多朋友" "我要跟我的朋友去..."
Like I don't have friends. I got friends. Who?
-就像我没有朋友似的 我也有朋友 -谁
Well, you know, I got...
你知道的 我有...
Well, there's Johnny, Ronnie, Ricky, Mike.
约翰尼 罗尼 里奇 迈克
That's New Edition.
那是新版本合唱团
Cool it now.
"冷静一点"
I just don't get it, though.
我就是想不通
Here's the thing. I did everything.
你看 能做的我都做了
I got the tent, I got the grill...
我带了帐篷 带了烧烤炉...
So why does everything with you have to be so big-time?
为什么你做任何事都追求大场面
Because that's what I do. I don't do small-time.
因为我就是这样 我不做小场面的事