爸爸好尴尬（2021）

That's 'cause you're too cheap to buy the good kind.
那是因为你太小气了 不舍得买♥♥好酒
I'm not taking the job.
我不打算接受这份工作
That's why I don't have the good kind. What are you talking about?
所以我没买♥♥好酒 你什么意思
I love the idea of running marketing here,
我非常愿意负责营销工作
but you can't pay me what I'm making at Co.
但你付不起我在可口可乐挣的工资
And I'm stretched thin already paying for all my ex-husbands.
我还要给那些前夫赡养费 已经入不敷出了
Actually, two of them. 'Cause one thinks I'm dead.
其实只有两个前夫 因为有一个以为我死了
Why don't I leave you two alone?
你们两个聊吧
Thank you.
谢了
Chels, what is it? Is it about the money?
切尔西 到底是为什么 为了钱吗
Hell yeah. Come on, I got health care. I got a 401.
没错 我有医疗保险 还有养老保险
And I got a company car. I could get you a company car.
-公♥司♥还给我配了一辆车 -我可以给你配一辆车
You just gotta co-sign for it.
只要你签字一起还车贷就行了
Look, it's our mom's family business.
听着 这是妈妈的家族企业
You can't do this, Chels.
你不能这样做 切尔西
I know, bro, but I... I just can't.
我知道 哥 但我做不到
No, you can. No, I can't.
-你能做到 -我做不到
You trippin'. Why?
-你在胡扯 -为什么
Because blood is thicker than water.
因为血浓于水
And blood is thicker than Coca-Cola, too.
血还浓于可口可乐呢
But Coca-Cola pay them bills.
但可口可乐让我有钱付账单
All right, I'mma take these. I'mma try 'em out.
好了 这些我拿去试用了
All right, bro, love you, bye.
好了 哥 我爱你 再见
I hope you break out.
祝你长痤疮
Brian, Citibank is on line two about your Visa.
布莱恩 花旗银行找你谈信♥用♥卡♥的事 二号♥线
Report it as fraud and we get it free.
就说是盗刷 那就不用花钱了
I thought Brodie and I were really vibing.
我以为布罗迪和我情投意合
We were gonna get matching henna tattoos of our couple name.
我们还打算把名字合在一起 做成情侣纹身呢
Brosha.
"布罗莎"
I'm sorry, angel.
不好意思 小天使
I've been telling you since you were four months old
从你四个月大开始 我就一直跟你说
that boys suck.
男生都是坏小子
Or maybe something really bad happened to Brodie.
也许布罗迪出大事了
Like, he's in a coma.
比如昏迷了
Or even worse,
或者更糟
he lost his phone.
他把手♥机♥弄丢了
What should I do, auntie?
我该怎么办 姑妈
Well, you could do what I always used to do.
你可以学我一贯的做法
You find something of his to burn.
找点他的东西烧掉
Is that why we always used to have those bonfires every summer?
我们每天夏天都点篝火 原来是这么回事啊
Yeah, that's my girl. Pyrotherapy.
没错 真聪明 烧灼疗法
You could do what my cousin Kiki did.
你可以像我的堂姐琪琪那样
Okay. Okay.
好 听着
So you take a picture of one of your boobs and send it to him,
拍一张你单侧咪♥咪♥的照片 发给他
and he's definitely gonna text you back
他肯定会回短♥信♥
and ask for the other one.
找你要另一侧的照片
We're definitely not doing that. Y'all are underage.
绝对不能这样做 你们还没成年呢
Ladies, what you doin'?
姑娘们 在干嘛呢
Sasha got bread-crumbed, side-barred
有人撩萨莎 勾她聊天
and now she's benched.
现在让她坐冷板凳
I'm sorry.
替你难过
Or congratulations... Chelsea, translate.
或者说恭喜你... 切尔西 翻译一下
Yeah, so this guy that she likes,
好 她喜欢一个男生
he stopped responding to her texts.
现在他不回她的短♥信♥了
Right. Yeah, that sucks.
哦 好吧 够惨的
I got ghosted once, and then three weeks later,
我也碰到过男生玩失踪 过了三个星期
he un-ghosted me with a Venmo request for rent,
他又现身了 给我发了一个付款请求
for the two nights I slept over.
要我为在他家睡了两夜付房♥租
You know, a guy once ghosted me,
有一次有个男生跟我玩失踪
but I saw right through him.
但一眼就被我看穿了
Get it? Like a ghost, I saw right through him.
懂了吗 他像幽灵一样玩失踪 被我看"穿"了
Bless her heart. Okay. Tough crowd.
-老天保佑她 -好吧 你们的笑点太高了
You know what?
不如这样
I'mma tell you what my mama used to say to me.
听听我妈以前是怎么跟我说的
A woman's worth comes from the inside, not the outside.
女人的价值来自内心 而非外表
But if these boys start playing games,
但如果这些男生开始玩把戏
you toss his ass to the side.
你就让他们边儿待着去
Yes.
对
You know that Bay was her entire idea, right?
成立贝杨公♥司♥全是她的主意 你知道吧
Really?
真的吗
Okay. Think about this.
好吧 你想想
How many single moms
有几个单亲妈妈
could've built a successful company from scratch?
能够白手起家 成立一家公♥司♥并取得成功
Especially when one of your kids is as dumb as your daddy.
尤其是有一个像你♥爸♥那么笨的孩子
Gosh, I miss her.
天啊 我真想她
Rooster in the hen house.
公鸡闯进了一窝母鸡的家
What's up, Pop?
什么事 老爹
Chelsea, you're gonna need a new car battery.
切尔西 你的汽车电瓶该换了
Why?
为什么
Owusu Jr.?
小奥乌苏
What the hell?
搞什么
So, we gonna do the boob thing or what?
怎么样 发不发咪♥咪♥照
Are you sippin' that for me?
你们在喝酒为我庆祝吗
Because I just won the Father of the Year award.
我刚拿了"年度最佳父亲"奖
What are you talking about?
什么意思
I just saved my baby girl from her first bonfire.
我刚救了我的宝贝女儿 省得她也点篝火烧东西
That's what I'm talking about. Are you sure?
-就是这个意思 -你确定
'Cause if it has anything to do with Sasha's friend Brodie,
如果你说的是萨莎的朋友布罗迪
she's still upstairs devastated right now.
她还在楼上伤心欲绝呢
Yes. It has everything to do with Brodie.
没错 我说的正是布罗迪
See, I got the picture to get him out the picture.
瞧 我拍了一张照片 让他出局了
God. Look at this.
-天啊 -看这个
Here we go. Yeah.
-又来了 -对
Who is this little player with his arms all around that girl?
搂着这个姑娘的小情圣是谁
Focus. That's Brodie.
好好看看 这是布罗迪
Gimme this.
让我看看
You're stalking this little boy. Yes, you are.
你在跟踪这个小男孩 是的 你就是
You did that to me in high school. Chels...
-上高中时你就跟踪我 -切尔西...
I'm not stalking him.
我没有跟踪他
And don't you ever snatch my phone like that.
别再抢我的手♥机♥了
Listen, what happened was the minute Sasha turned her back,
听着 是这样的 萨莎刚转身
he rolls up to another girl and tries to get warm.
他就跑去撩别的女生了
You can't show her this. Why not?
-不能让她看到 -为什么
Okay. You have got to stay out of her business.
好吧 你不要再管她的事了
Listen. She is my business, okay?
听着 她的事就是我的事 好吗
And I am the chairman and the CEO.
我可是总裁兼首席执行官
You're a control freak, Brian.
你的控制欲太强了 布莱恩
Let the girl sink or swim on her own.
让她自己游吧 溺几次水不要紧
Yeah. She's gotta go through stuff.
是啊 她必须经历一些风雨
You know, things happen. We drowned a few times.
有些事是无法避免的 我们就溺过好几回
Girl, I'm... We still alive though.
-妹子 我... -照样活得好好的
We okay. I'm still drowning.
-我们没事 -我还溺着呢
You look like y'all need some floaties.
看来你们需要游泳圈
Okay, look, I know how to handle this.
好吧 听着 这种事我会处理
I'll handle it my way,
我自有办法
and that is I lay down the law and I'm Father of the Year.
我的办法就是立规矩 我是年度最佳父亲
For what? You crossin' a line, B.
凭什么 你越界了 小布
Get your snorkels, and I hope you get bit by Jaws.
去找一根呼吸管 希望你被大白鲨咬死
Shoot that... That's what I'm talking about. LeBron James.
投... 这就对了 勒布朗·詹姆斯
Time out, San Antonio.
暂停 马刺队
Stacy, I thought you left. I was hoping we could talk.
-史黛西 我以为你走了 -我想和你谈谈
Can't talk right now because the king is on.
现在不行 因为王者要上场了
Get that, LeBron. Take that for yourself.
接球啊 勒布朗 自己投
Okay. LeBron has got his bread.
好了 勒布朗不愁没面包
We need to talk about yours.
我们得谈谈你的面包
LeBron doesn't eat bread during the playoffs.
季后赛期间勒布朗不吃面包
We aren't on the team.
我们不是球员
You're on the couch. What you doin'?
-你只是观众 -你干什么
This better be good.
最好是好事
Bay isn't doing well, but I think that I can help.
贝杨公♥司♥处境艰难 但我觉得我能帮上忙