爸爸好尴尬（2021）

Yeah, okay.
嗯 好吧
Get with me, just like this. Here we go.
跟我学 像这样 来吧
Get ready. Over here, over there, in the air, crack it.
准备好 这边 那边 空中 劈
Why are we doing this?
我们练这个干嘛
Because we are the Dixons. We're the Dixon family.
因为我们姓狄克逊 我们是狄克逊家族
That's all we do, is fight.
打架是我们的老本行
We're known for that.
是我们的成名绝技
Not only that, we live in Atlanta,
不仅如此 我们住在亚特兰大
and it's home of the Waffle House brawls.
这里是华夫屋斗殴的发源地
Somebody drop their sausage on your foot, you got to get at it.
要是有人把香肠掉在你的脚上 你必须收拾他
Okay, well, maybe you forgot,
好吧 可能你忘了
but I spent a lot of time with my grandparents
我跟爷爷奶奶住过很长时间
in Chiraq, Killinois.
在凶杀之都 伊利诺斯的芝加哥
Your grandparents would sleep at 6:30 in the afternoon.
你的爷爷奶奶傍晚6点半就睡了
Not only that, the only gun you saw was a Super Soaker.
不仅如此 你见过的唯一一把枪是水枪
All right, now come on.
好了 来吧
What'll you do when somebody runs up on you?
遇到别人挑衅 你该怎么做
Call Zia.
打电♥话♥找齐娅
Call Zia for what? So she can dumb everything down?
找齐娅干嘛 让她把一切变得弱智吗
Come on, hit me right in the hands.
快点 打我的手
That ain't my hand!
那不是我的手
That ain't my hands!
那不是我的手
That's a good one, though.
不过这一拳不错
I gotta put some ice on my umbilical cord.
我得冰敷一下脐带
I tell you what, girl, that bully ain't got nothing on you.
听我说 女儿 那个霸凌你的人伤不了你一根汗毛
How did you know I had a bully?
你怎么知道有人霸凌我
Your daddy knows everything, baby.
你老爸无所不知 宝贝
Plus, I got eyes in the back of my...
而且 我的后脑勺长了眼...
Stacy told you, didn't she?
是史黛西告诉你的吧
Yeah, that's right. That's right, she did. You know what?
是的 没错 知道吗
It doesn't matter, though, because everybody got bullies, okay?
没关系 因为每个人都会受到霸凌
When I was growing up, I didn't have no bullies...
懂吗 我是说 我小时候没人敢欺负我...
That ain't the way I remember it.
我记得不是这样
Tell her about Keith Henderson.
跟她说说基思·亨德森
Wait, what! Where? Keith!
等等 他在哪儿 基思
That boy, Keith Henderson, was a bad mother...
基思·亨德森那小子是个凶狠的混...
Shut your mouth! He was a grown-ass man.
别说了 当时他是成年人
Keith Henderson tried to whoop everybody's ass.
基思·亨德森见谁都欺负
He almost whooped my ass, and he was in eighth grade.
他还差点欺负我 当时他才读八年级
But you know, I got that clack-clack!
但你知道 我会...
No, I don't think you understand. He was a grown-ass man.
不 我想你搞错了 他是个成年人
He was the only kid in the whole of middle school
全校只有他一个孩子
going through a divorce.
在闹离婚
He got even meaner when he lost custody.
失去监护权后 他变得更加狠毒
Wait, wait. Who is Keith Henderson?
等一下 谁是基思·亨德森
Make it stop! Make it stop!
别说了 别说了
You know how many honeys will be at the game?
你知道会有多少美女去看比赛吗
That's what I'm saying.
这正是我想说的
You get to your spot, we definitely going to the championship.
你打好你的位置 我们一定能夺冠
Then we celebrating. What!
-然后我们去庆祝 -什么
Dixon. Nice chain. Let me wear that.
狄克逊 项链不错 让我戴戴
No, man. Stall me out.
不行 老兄 别来烦我
Yeah, leave him alone.
对 别烦他
Are you putting your nose in this, Johnny?
你要管闲事吗 约翰尼
Give me your chain, too.
把你的项链也给我
I'll give it to you.
我给你
But can I keep the locket?
吊坠我可以留下吗
It has a picture of my grandparents.
里面有我祖父母的照片
My grandparents now. Get out of here.
现在是我的祖父母了 出去
Now, back to you, Dixon.
现在再说你 狄克逊
Give me that chain before I take it off.
把项链给我 不然我自己动手了
It's my dad's chain. "My dad's chain."
-这是我爸的项链 -"我爸的项链"
Bitch, I'm your daddy!
贱♥人♥ 我是你爹
Now, say it with me. Who's your daddy?
说来听听 谁是你老爸
Willie Dixon!
威利·狄克逊
Man, my name ain't no Willie Dixon!
我不叫威利·狄克逊
You get one last chance to say it right. Who's your daddy?
给你最后一次机会好好说 谁是你老爸
Keith Henderson.
基思·亨德森
Damn right.
说对了
Beat it.
滚
But that's my chain.
那是我的项链
That's my chain.
那是我的项链
That's my chain!
那是我的项链
That was my chain! It was my chain!
那是我的项链 是我的项链
Actually, it was my chain.
其实是我的项链
And it was my belt, too, that I gave you that second ass-whooping
你回到家 我抽你的时候
when you got back home.
用的皮带也是我的
Dang, Dad. Come on.
见鬼 爸爸 起来
That... That really sucks.
太惨了
I didn't know that you dealt with a bully.
我还不知道你也受过霸凌
It was all good, Sash.
没什么 萨莎
You know, I had to deal with it, you know, for about six, seven years.
我被霸凌了差不多六 七年
You know, but Keith got his, you know,
不过基思也遭到了报应
'cause he eventually grew up and he went to prison.
因为他长大后进了监狱
That's right. He went to jail and braided a lot of hair.
没错 他进了监狱 还编了很多小辫子
They called him Greasy Knuckle.
别人都叫他"油手"
Yeah, well, I appreciate you trying to look out for me,
好吧 谢谢你想要保护我
but there's really nothing you can do.
不过你真的什么都做不了
Yes, it is.
不 我能
We're the Dixons and we stick together.
我们姓狄克逊 我们团结一心
Just tell me, 'cause we coming to your school.
快告诉我 我们去你的学校
He doesn't go to my school.
他和我不是一个学校
Okay, tell me which school he goes to.
好吧 那他是哪个学校的
I don't know. It's online.
不知道 是网上
Online High School? Let's get to Online High School.
网上高中 我们去网上高中
Just pull it up. No, no, no! It's online!
-把网址告诉我 -不 是网上
What do you mean, "online"? I mean, it's online. It's...
-什么意思 -我是说网上霸凌 就是...
You mean it's actually not a real bully?
你是说不是真的霸凌
You young'uns!
你们这些年轻人
We had real bullies who'd come in our classroom
我们那会儿是真的霸凌 恶人会走进教室
and do like this, look at you.
像这样 盯着你
And you'd be like, "Okay,
然后你就会想 "好吧
I gotta figure out a way after school how to get home."
我要想想放学后怎么回家"
You don't have a real bully?
你不是真的被人霸凌吗
No. You ever heard of cyberbullying?
不是 你没听说过网络霸凌吗
He's online.
他在网上
How about this? Click. He's offline.
不如这样 按一下 他不在了
What? I'm not gonna log off my Instagram 'cause of one troll.
什么 我才不会为了一个喷子就退出照片墙呢
I don't care how short or tall he is.
我才不管他有多矮或多高
Give me his Instagram handle.
把他的账号♥告诉我
It's SashaDixonSux.
账号♥是"萨莎·狄克逊弱爆了"
Boy, boy, boy.
好吧
Watch this. Watch me work.
看着 看我的
"SashaDixonSux, this is Sasha's father,
"萨莎·狄克逊弱爆了 我是萨莎的爸爸
and when I see you, I'm gonna kick your ass!"
等我见到你 我要踢爆你的屁♥股♥"
Take a look at that.
看看
I think you spelled that wrong.
你好像写错字了
Kiss... "Kiss your ass"? Damn autocorrect.
"舔爆你的屁♥股♥" 该死的自动校对
He hit back.
他回复了
"Sasha Dixon's father,
"萨莎·狄克逊的爸爸
when you kiss my ass, I hope you're not wearing that lip gloss,
希望你舔我屁♥股♥的时候 不要涂那款唇彩
'cause I'll get boils on my butt."
不然我的屁♥股♥会长疖子"
I told you. They're good.
跟你说了 他很厉害
Whose side are you on?
你站在哪一边
Let me show you how to get this.
我让你看看怎么对付这种人
That says "duck you."
你写的是"去屎吧"
What?
什么
Autocorrect, suck my duck!
自动校对 吃屎吧
This ain't Pappadeaux's.
这里不是帕帕多思餐厅
No, this is better than Pappadeaux's.
对 这比帕帕多思更棒