爸爸好尴尬（2021）

Nice suit.
西装不错
But you're gonna have to throw in some floor mats
不过想让我买♥♥那辆二手车
and a spoiler if you want me to buy the used car.
必须给我配上地垫和扰流板
Did you know your milk is about to go bad?
你知道你的牛奶快变质了吗
I don't know who's in my refrigerator more,
也不知道谁在我的冰箱里待的时间更长
you or my milk.
是你还是我的牛奶
What you doing down here anyway?
你来干什么
You and Chelsea ain't seeing each other.
你和切尔西已经吹了
It's got nothing to do with Chelsea.
跟切尔西无关
We're better off as just friends.
我和她还是做朋友比较好
Why, what did she say? She said nothing.
-怎么 她说什么了 -她什么也没说
You know I'm only here 'cause I got suspended, remember?
我来这里是因为我被停职了 记得吗
I got nowhere else to go!
我无处可去了
Well, Mayonnaise, why don't you just go home?
蛋黄酱 那你干嘛不回家
I don't have any friends or food at home.
我家里没有朋友或食物
Here's my friend Cap'n Crunch, here's my friend milk.
这是我的朋友麦片 这是我的朋友牛奶
There you go. That's what friends are for.
拿去 这才是朋友的用处
Fine.
好吧
On my way in I saw your new white neighbors
刚才我进来时 看见新搬来的白人邻居
unloading groceries.
正在从车上卸食品杂货
They've probably got some oat milk.
很可能他们买♥♥了燕麦奶
Manny, what you doing here? It's your day off.
曼尼 你来干什么 今天你休息
Yeah, it's funny how you gave me a day off on payday.
是啊 说来有趣 你在发工资这天放我一天假
You think I could get my check two weeks late instead of four?
我想延后两周领工资 而不是四周 可以吗
You're here for your check? Let me get it, then.
你是来领工资的 那我去拿
I keep all the paperwork here in the kitchenettes.
我的文件全放在小厨房♥里
You know, so let me check and see where your paycheck is and...
让我找找看 你的工资支票在哪儿...
You know, 'cause I keep... You know what?
因为我放... 知道吗
I know where it is. Man.
我知道在哪儿了 伙计
There it is.
在这里
It's hot! Hot checks. Hot checks.
好烫 滚烫的支票
Yeah.
好
Well, maybe you could give me the other half on Monday?
也许到了星期一 你可以把另一半给我
Yeah, okay. Fine. That's how it goes.
好的 没问题 本来就是这样
What up, Chels?
你好啊 切尔西
You see me? What I'm looking like?
看到了吗 我看起来怎么样
You look good,
挺好的
if you're going for that used-car-salesman look.
如果你是想扮成二手车销♥售♥员的话
Look, I spent $90 on this
这是我在"西装革履仓储店"
down at the Suited and Booted Warehouse,
花了90美元买♥♥的
cause I'm getting ready for my date. Mya.
因为我准备去约会 米娅
Who? Mya.
-谁 -米娅
Your new little flavor of the week?
你这个礼拜的新欢
Listen, I've slowed down considerably
听着 自从萨莎来了以后
since Sasha's been here.
我换女友的节奏已经慢多了
Listen, the only person that I've kissed here lately
听着 最近我只吻过一个人
is Aunt Elizabeth, but she has a warm mustache.
就是伊丽莎白姑妈 但她长着暖暖的小胡子
Yeah, crazy.
是的 很奇怪
Okay. Well, talk to me about this Mya chick.
好吧 跟我说说这个叫米娅的小妞
I actually met her not too long ago
其实我是不久前
at this Vegas cosmetic convention, you know?
在拉斯维加斯化妆品大会上认识她的
So she's in town, I'll take her out.
现在她来了 我想带她出去
What you doing tonight? Want to hang?
今晚有事吗 想不想出去玩
I'm not doing nothing.
我什么事都没有
You know, here in Atlanta I'm like a nine,
我在亚特兰大的魅力指数是9分
but in Alabama I'd be a 12.
但在阿♥拉♥巴马是12分
You know what? l can get you some tickets
这样吧 我帮你搞几张
to the Soul Circus, okay?
灵魂马戏团的门票怎么样
Sigfried and Leroy.
魔术师齐格菲与勒罗伊
They don't have tigers, but they got these
他们没有老虎 但他们有
dancing Rottweilers, you'd love it.
会跳舞的罗威那犬 包你喜欢
I'll pass.
免了吧
I'll give the tickets to Pops, then. Hell no, you won't.
-那我就把门票给老爹了 -休想 免谈
Last time I went to the Soul Circus,
上次去看灵魂马戏团的表演
the magician stole my wallet.
那个魔术师偷了我的钱包
I got it back when I pulled a .45 out of my hat.
我从帽子里掏出手♥枪♥ 才把钱包要了回来
Why are you so dressed up?
你干嘛穿得这么光鲜
Yeah. I got a little date with this girl tonight.
我今晚跟一个姑娘有个小约会
But, you know, your daughter's been hating on my jacket,
不过 你女儿看不惯我的外套
so I ain't gonna wear it.
所以我不打算穿它了
Let me wear the jacket if you ain't gonna.
既然你不♥穿♥ 那就给我穿
Pops, don't stretch my jack... Stop.
-老爹 别把我的外套撑大了... -少来
You know we wear the same size, man. Stop playing.
你知道我们的尺码一样 别装了
Get my arm. Pops, come on, now.
-帮我把胳膊套进去 -老爹 别玩了
Okay. One, two, three...
好 一 二 三...
There you go.
好了
This is all right. Come on, now.
这不是穿上了吗 还说太小
How do I look? Come on. Come on, how do I look?
我看起来怎么样 快说 我看起来怎么样
Chelsea, come on, now. Pops, amazing. Yes.
-切尔西 快说 -老爹 帅呆了 是的
You know what? Pops is about to come out of retirement.
知道吗 老爹要重出江湖了
You know I used to model, right?
你们知道我当过模特 对吧
Because, sir, I got news for you.
先生 我要告诉你一个消息
You ain't the only one got a date. I got a date, too.
要去约会的人不止你一个 我也有个约会
I'm meeting this little honey I met
我要去见一个小辣妹 我们是
on that new dating site, backbender.com.
在约会网站"后仰"上认识的
She's gonna get all this zaddy.
我要让她知道本型男的厉害
Yes, sir. My God.
-是的 先生 -天啊
She's about to experience the best 93 seconds of her life.
她将体验一生中最美妙的93秒
Lock up your aunties,
不要放你们的姑妈姨妈出来
'cause Pops is coming! You know?
因为老爹要来了 知道吗
Pops, come on, man. What?
-老爹 行了 伙计 -干嘛
First of all, that's nasty. What?
-首先 你说得很下流 -什么
That's completely nasty.
太下流了
And second of all, you about to pop out of that,
其次 外套快被你撑破了
like Bruce Banner.
就像绿巨人那样
You look like the Incredible Hulk in this.
你穿这件衣服 看着就像无敌浩克
Yeah, well, if she looks as good as her profile pic,
好吧 要是她真像照片上那样漂亮
the Incredible Hulk is about to smash.
无敌浩克就要辣手摧花了
Pops, before you have a stroke...
老爹 趁你还没中风...
Look, first of all, the last time you smashed,
听着 首先 上次你辣手摧花
you ended up having Chelsea.
结果就有了切尔西
Come on. Blessing!
-拜托 -上天赐的福
Help me out, Brian. Yeah, I got you.
-帮我脱下来 布莱恩 -好 我帮你
All right. Here. Come on. One, two, three.
-好 我来挡着 脱吧 -一 二 三
Lord. All right. Come on, just pull.
-老天 好吧 -快点 用力拽
Brian, come on. I got it. Come on.
-布莱恩 快点 -准备好了 来吧
One, two, three, go. Go!
-一 二 三 拽 -拽
You good?
你没事吧
Pops. Stretching out my suit.
老爹 把我的西装撑大了
Shoot! Just the G I wanted to see.
太好了 正是我想见到的哥们
Dad, look at that jacket.
老爸 看这件外套
You really rocking it. You know,
你穿上太帅了 你知道吗
you should really get into modelling.
你真该去当模特
You know what I'mma give you? The Will Smith lips.
知道我要给你什么吗 威尔·史密斯的嘴唇
Come on. Can't I just say hi to my dad?
跟老爸打个招呼都不行吗
If you don't tell me what it is, I'm gonna say no automatically.
你要是不说是什么事 那就不行
Okay, there's this high school quarterback, Rahim...
好吧 有个高中校队的四分卫 拉希姆...
No.
不行
Dad, relax. It's not even what you think.
爸爸 别紧张 不是你想的那样
I've been tutoring him in summer school,
我在暑期班辅♥导♥他学习
he got an "A" on his math test,
他数学考试拿了个A
so he said he'd take Zia and I to Atlantic Station tonight to celebrate.
所以今晚他想带齐娅和我去大西洋站庆祝
The answer is still no.
还是不行
I don't want you riding around with some strange boy.
我不想让你坐陌生男孩的车兜风
Okay, then you're gonna have to teach me how to drive
好吧 那就教我开车
so I don't have to rely on other people.
那我就不用依赖别人了
The answer is still no.
还是不行
I don't want you driving around with a strange boy.
我不想让你 开车带着陌生男孩兜风
You know these young boys, they're out here
你了解这些毛头小子 他们喜欢
ghost riding the whip and whatnot.
在行驶的车子旁边跳舞