爸爸好尴尬（2021）

You ain't never heard a rapper rap about copper and a Prius.
不会有饶舌歌♥手 唱破铜烂铁和丰田普锐斯
Yeah, but maybe, just maybe,
没错 但是也许 只是也许
she wanted it to be you two just hanging out and talking.
她只想和你在一起相处和聊天
I gave her that. I gave her that and more.
我陪她聊天了啊 我还给了她更多
She didn't want more. You did. Come on with that.
-她不想要更多 是你想要 -别瞎扯了
Brian, it's not always about you.
布莱恩 不是任何事都以你为主角
It's like my 30th birthday.
就像那次我过30岁生日
Why would I want a cake
我怎么会想要一个
that looked like Halle Berry topless in Swordfish?
像"剑鱼行动"中 袒胸的哈莉·贝瑞的蛋糕
You're right. You're probably not.
没错 也许你不想要
And maybe it's just... I'm just too good of a dad.
也许只是因为... 我这个老爸太优秀了
You are too delusional of a person.
你有严重的妄想症
What's that?
什么声音
That's my ringtone. Yeah, I changed it.
是我的手♥机♥铃♥声♥ 对 我换了
Your ringtone?
你的手♥机♥铃♥声♥
Yeah, it's just my ringtone.
对 只是我的手♥机♥铃♥声♥
Sash. Listen.
萨莎 听着
I got the vegan pizza for you.
我给你买♥♥了素披萨
It's, nut cheese, no dairy, no lactose, and...
是坚果芝士味的 不含乳制品 不含乳糖 而且...
There ain't no taste.
没什么味道
All right, come on. Come on, you gotta eat. Come on, now.
好了 来吧 吃一块 快点
Dad. What in the actual...
-老爸 -什么情况...
Come on out! Get out of here! Who in the hell is this?
出来 快出来 这是谁
This is Brodie.
这是布罗迪
Nice to meet you, sir. I don't want to meet you.
-很高兴见到你 先生 -我不想见到你
What are you doing in that tent?
你们在帐篷里干什么
And why you got your shoes off?
你脱鞋干什么
Socks is like foot underwear. You naked out here!
袜子就像脚上的内衣 你现在光着身子
Well, we didn't want to disrespect your tent.
我们不想弄脏你的帐篷
I don't want you to breathe.
我不想见到你呼吸
Dad, calm down! You're acting crazy!
老爸 冷静 你像个疯子似的
I'mma show you crazy. Dad, stop!
-让你看看什么叫疯子 -老爸 不要
Look at you? You allergic to it? You swelling up?
你对它过敏吗 你会水肿吗
'Cause I ain't got an EpiPen. I'm back, bitch!
-我可没有肾上腺素注射笔 -我回来了 贱♥人♥
Who's the bitch?
谁是贱♥人♥
Hi, Mr. Dixon. Yeah, hi. Let me ask you a question.
-嗨 狄克逊先生 -嗨 我问你
What in the world is Sasha doing in this tent
萨莎和这小子单独待在帐篷里
alone with this boy?
他们到底在干什么
Why did you leave her?
你为什么离开她
What? Sasha had a boy here?
什么 萨莎和一个男生在一起
I just don't think we can be friends anymore.
我想我们做不成朋友了
I can explain.
我可以解释
We were just hanging, talking about Jesus.
我们只是在闲聊 讨论耶稣
You know, I should probably go.
我看我还是走吧
Yeah, you need Jesus. Stop. Seriously, Dad?
-对 你需要耶稣 -住手 真的假的 老爸
You know, I can't believe that I came back here to apologize to you,
知道吗 真是不敢相信 我回来向你道歉
and here you are in this tent, gallivanting with a boy.
你却在帐篷里跟一个男生寻欢
Yeah, I said "gallivanting." Black men say "gallivanting."
没错 我说的是"寻欢" 黑人汉子都说"寻欢"
Sasha, your dad and I are so disappointed in you.
萨莎 我和你♥爸♥爸对你很失望
Okay, I'm out. There's no need to tell my dad about this, okay?
好 我走了 这件事没必要告诉我爸 好吗
Here you go. Love ya.
给你 爱你哦
Look, Dad, this really wasn't what you think.
听着 老爸 真的不是你想的那样
I met Brodie in line. He's really cool.
我在排队时遇到布罗迪 他很酷
And it turns out he goes to school with Zia.
而且和齐娅是同学
It's exactly what I think.
这就是我想的那样
You're in a tent with a boy with his feet out.
你在帐篷里 跟一个露着脚丫子的的男生在一起
Dad, that's not me.
老爸 我不是那样的
I was raised better than that. Not that you'd know.
我的教养没那么差 只是你不知道而已
You better get that hot sauce out your throat when you talking to me.
跟我说话时 最好把你嗓子里的辣椒酱吐出来
You know the golden rule.
你知道那条金科玉律
Treat others how you want to be treated?
己所不欲 勿施于人吗
I don't give a shit about that. No boys.
我才不管那一套 不许交男朋友
Matter of fact, when you was born,
事实上 你出生的时候
I held you up in the air like the scene from Roots,
我就像电影"根"的那一幕 把你举到空中
and I said, "Behold! No boys, ever!"
我说 "注意 永远不许交男朋友 "
And then I handed you to the nurse
然后我把你递给护士
because the doctor was a boy, and I don't want that.
因为医生是个男的 我不想让他碰你
Everything okay?
一切还好吧
Everything is fine, and you need to mind your white business.
一切都好 你这个白人少管我们黑人的事
All right, calm down. You're creating a disturbance.
别激动 你在扰乱秩序
I'm creating a disturbance? Let me tell you something.
我在扰乱秩序 我来告诉你
I'm Red Lobster, and it's unlimited shrimp all month.
我是红龙虾餐馆的 本月小虾不限♥量♥供应
Stop with the shrimp!
别再扔虾了
That's it. You guys gotta go.
好吧 够了 你们必须离开
You hear that, Black people?
听到了吗 黑人朋友们
He said "guys." That's just code word for "Black people."
他说"你们" 这是一个暗语 意思是"黑人"
That's exactly what that is. Come on.
-就是这个意思 -走吧
Okay. You're gonna watch me start the revolution.
好吧 你看着 我要闹革命
No Yeezys, no peace! No Yeezys, no peace! Y'all with it?
没有椰子鞋就没有和平 大家赞同吗
Soft-ass millennials.
软弱的千禧一代
Then security kicked us out
然后保安把我们赶走了
and Dad made me listen to his
回家的路上 老爸一直逼我
"fight the power" playlist all the way home.
听他的"反抗强权"歌♥单
And then, you know, at all the stoplights,
然后每次等红灯
he mean-mugged every white guy who pulled up next to us.
他都朝旁边车上的白人扮鬼脸
He got us kicked out of a Spice Girls concert once.
有一次 他害我们被赶出了"辣妹组合"的演唱会
He kept shouting, "Why the Black Spice Girl gotta be Scary?"
他不停地嚷嚷 "凭什么 黑人辣妹叫做'恐怖辣妹'"
Well, look at the Scarlet Letters.
去看看"红字"就明白了
What wakes you up so early?
怎么这么早就起床了
You fighting the power, Flavor Flav?
要去反抗强权吗 风味弗拉福
I got the Yeezys, Mr. Brian.
我买♥♥到椰子鞋了 布莱恩先生
My God! Dad, you got the shoes?
天啊 老爸 你买♥♥到鞋了
No, I got the shoes.
不 是我买♥♥的
And you know what? They're twice as much on eBay,
知道吗 网店的价格是专卖♥♥店的两倍
so if you got the cash, I got the shoes.
所以一手交钱 一手交鞋
You know what, Manny?
知道吗 曼尼
I don't have the cash. You know, I carry the plastic.
我没有现金 我带着信♥用♥卡♥
Yeah, we take plastic.
好 我们接受信♥用♥卡♥付款
There you go. Just need a quick picture.
给你 只需拍张快照
What?
什么
There you go. Add 15% tip.
好了 加上15%的小费
What?
什么
20% tip.
20%的小费
You let me borrow your finger, sir?
借你的手指用用 先生
There you go.
好了
Don't forget your credit card. Thank you.
请拿好你的信♥用♥卡♥ 谢谢
We're going to the beach.
我们要去海滩
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
谢谢 谢谢 谢谢
You're welcome, you're welcome, you're welcome!
不客气 不客气 不客气
The only thing is, these Yeezys is for me-zys.
只可惜 这双椰子鞋是买♥♥给我的
Are you serious?
你说真的
Deadass.
比真金还真
So you really just got those shoes for yourself and not for me?
所以这双鞋真的是买♥♥给你自己的 不是买♥♥给我的
I can't believe you!
你太过分了
And I can't believe these shoes.
这双鞋也太过分了
What's wrong with you?
你是怎么搞的
First of all, don't "wow" me in my house.
首先 不许在我家里"哇"我
Look, it's rules and regulations.
这是规矩和规定
And when you break the rules, there are consequences.
违反了规矩 后果会很严重
And her consequences is me in these dope-ass kicks.
她的后果就是 这双靓鞋将穿在我的脚上
Okay, let's be real.
好吧 实话实说
You only have one rule when it comes to boys, "No boys."
说到男生 你只有一条规矩 就是"不许交男朋友"
Seems easy to follow, right?
似乎很容易遵守 对吧
What I don't get is these shoes.
让我搞不懂的是这双鞋
I mean, they're making all of this hype over the limited edition.
我是说 他们铺天盖地地为这个限♥量♥款做宣传
You should do something like that with Bay.
你应该将这个方法用于贝杨公♥司♥
Take that new lip gloss that came in and slap
给收到的新款唇彩
"Limited Edition Summer Release" on it.
贴上"夏季限♥量♥款"标签
Okay, sis, you cookin'. You are good for something?
好吧 妹妹 好主意 你还是有点本事的
You should use a hammer.
应该用榔头