爸爸好尴尬（2021）

We will never see this fool again.
我们再也不会见到这个蠢货了
No, Pops.
不 老爹
You know what we need?
知道我们需要什么吗
We need a duct tape and a chicken wire.
我们需要一卷胶带和一张铁丝网
What? No.
什么 不
We'll just go to the kid's house and scare him away.
我们去这个孩子家吓唬他 让他离萨莎远点就行了
Pops, you know what to do.
老爹 你知道该怎么做
I have a very particular set of skills.
我有一套非常特别的本事
Skills I have developed over a very long career.
是我在漫长的职业生涯中学会的
Skills that make me a nightmare for people like Brodie.
能让我成为布罗迪这种人的噩梦
Okay. Kiss-Your-Bottoms lives right down there.
好 那小子就住在那里
Right there. 321 Evergreen.
那里 长青街321号♥
Now if we gonna snatch this kid out in the street, I'll do a leg.
如果要把这小子拖到街上 我来拽他的腿
Every time I do arms, I get bit.
每次拽胳膊 我都会被咬
We ain't gotta do that.
我们不这样做 老爹
We'll scare him and make him pee just a little.
我们吓唬吓唬他 把他吓尿
I ain't gonna carry his leg, then.
好吧 那我不拽腿了
Brodie Owusu Jr.? What can I do for you, Oficer?
小布罗迪·奥乌苏 有事吗 警官
Hi, Mr. Dixon and hello, sir.
嗨 狄克逊先生 你好 先生
Brodie. Brodie, Brodie. We need to holla at you.
布罗迪 我们需要和你谈谈
Sure. What... Cut the Nickelodeon bullshit.
-好的 什么... -少跟我装天真
We seen you.
我们都看到了
We seen you all over that girl at Dave & Buster's,
我们在戴宝氏看到你对那个女孩动手动脚
and I got pictures to prove it.
我有照片为证
Right here. Look. Not that one. Hold on.
这里 看 不是这张 等一下
Right...
这...
Did you see that? Yeah.
-看到了吗 -嗯
Anyway. Right there. Look at it.
总之 这里 好好看看
What you got to say about that?
你还有什么可说的
I mean, I like the other one better.
我更喜欢另一张
Listen.
听着
Why don't you drop the charades?
别再装模做样了
Why don't you cut the shenanigans and just be who you really are?
别再演戏了 亮出你的真面目吧
Shoot straight. Come on, dawg.
说实话 快点 伙计
All right. What's on your mind, B?
好吧 你想让我说什么 小布
B? My name ain't B, bro.
小布 我不叫小布 老兄
I'm Brian Dixon. You put some respect on my name.
我叫布莱恩·狄克逊 你得尊重我的名字
My bad. I mean, you said you wanted to shoot straight.
我错了 是你让我说实话的
You know, player to player.
你懂的 浪荡子对浪荡子
Pimp to pimp.
皮条客对皮条客
What did this fool just say?
这个笨蛋说什么
Something about players and pimps.
他说什么浪荡子和皮条客
I'm not sure which one he is.
我不确定他是哪一种
I heard him.
他说的话我听到了
So that was all a charade?
所以刚才你在装模做样
Where's that guy that was in line at the Yeezy convention?
刚才那个排队买♥♥球鞋的乖乖仔去哪儿了
Look, that was just a part of my game for the honeys.
听着 那只是我泡妞的手段
Let me tell you something. My daughter ain't no side piece.
首先 我要告诉你 我女儿不是备胎
She ain't nobody's honey. And you stay away from her, B.
她也不是任何人的妞 你离她远点 小布
Come on, big dawg. That's my shorty right there.
别这样 大哥 她是我的马子
I'll snatch a knot in your ass.
我要揍扁你
What big dawg is trying to say is you better watch out,
大哥的意思是 你最好当心点
'cause I could arrest you right now
因为我现在就可以逮捕你
for impersonating Gerald Johanssen from Arnold!
罪名是模仿"大头仔天空"里的杰拉尔德·约翰森
You ever been hooked up to a car battery before?
你被汽车电瓶电过吗
Who are you anyway? Morgan Freeman?
你是哪位 摩根·弗里曼吗
No. But if you keep getting smart,
不是 但是你再这样桀骜不驯的话
you're about to get shawshanked.
你就要像肖申克一样被修理了
Never mind.
算了
I'mma go get these jumper cables.
我去拿搭电线
It's your choice, Brodie! Nipples or nuts?
你来选 布罗迪 咪♥咪♥还是蛋蛋
And if you don't pick nipples, you're nuts.
你要是不选咪♥咪♥ 你就是疯了
First of all, Brodie, which is a whack-ass name by the way,
首先 布罗迪 这名字真够逗的
my daughter is a good girl so I need you to stay away from her.
我女儿是个好姑娘 所以我要你离她远点
You understand?
懂了吗
You know what?
你猜怎么着
I don't. And I'mma say it to you like this.
我不懂 我还要跟你们说
Get off my porch, mall cop, goofball and old man.
从我家门廊滚开 商场警♥察♥ 白♥痴♥和老头
Old man? You 'bout to find out who's a old man.
老头 你马上就知道谁才是老头了
Now, it's your pick, Brodie. Nipples or nuts?
你选吧 布罗迪 咪♥咪♥还是蛋蛋
Johnny, hold these.
约翰尼 拿着
I'mma take your damn package, too, boy.
我还要拿走你的快递 小子
Johnny, come on with your nasty ass.
约翰尼 走了 恶心的家伙
Yeah. Tell Russell Westbrook that the clothes fit just fine.
对 告诉拉塞尔·威斯布鲁克衣服很合身
Yeah, perfect size.
对 大小正合适
Yeah, I'll do a post or something. All right.
对 我会发到网上 好的
Sasha, what's up? How was Sephora?
萨莎 你好啊 丝芙兰专卖♥♥店怎么样
It was fun.
挺好玩的
I got the eye shadow palette you wanted for research.
我买♥♥了你想用来研究的眼影盘
Get anything for yourself?
给你自己买♥♥东西了吗
I wasn't in the mood to shop. Girl stuff.
我没心情购物 生理期
Girl stuff? Like...
生理期 像是...
Girl stuff?
生理期
Girl stuff.
生理期
You want to... You wanna talk about anything?
你想... 你想聊聊吗
Not really. Thank God.
-不想 -谢天谢地
Here's the eye shadow. Okay.
-这是眼影 -好
That's mine.
这是我的
Mine. All right.
-我的 -好的
Mine. Yeah...
-我的 -嗯...
Desert Dust...
沙漠黄昏...
Yeah. That's mine, too.
-对 -也是我的
All right. Here's the shadow.
-好吧 -这是眼影
You said you ain't get nothing for yourself.
你还说没给自己买♥♥东西
No, I said I wasn't in the mood to shop.
不 我说的是我没有心情购物
Okay, all right.
好吧
By the way, your Visa's maxed out.
对了 你的信♥用♥卡♥刷爆了
Sasha, come on... What are you talking about?
萨莎 你说什么
Listen. I just got my credit card score up to 540.
我的信♥用♥卡♥分数刚刚提到540
Project Power.
"超能计划"
Don't pistol shrimp me.
不要对我施放热浪
What you doing here?
你来干什么
I arrested a perp in the neighborhood,
我在附近抓了一个罪犯
but I got some news for you.
但我有消息要告诉你
Brodie's ghosting Sasha.
布罗迪在跟萨莎玩失踪
Who told you this? Did Zia tell you?
谁告诉你的 齐娅吗
No. She left her phone in the kitchen
不是 她把手♥机♥落在厨房♥了
and I read her and Sasha's texts.
我看了她和萨莎之间的短♥信♥
Also, apparently, Lil Baby's new song slaps.
还有 利尔·贝比的新歌♥太好听了
All right. Look. You know what?
好吧 听着 知道吗
This is all wrong, but it's working out brilliantly.
虽然我们做得不对 但效果很好
Pops is always right. Nipples or nuts?
老爹一向正确 咪♥咪♥还是蛋蛋
Nipples or nuts. Nipples or nuts.
-咪♥咪♥还是蛋蛋 -咪♥咪♥还是蛋蛋
Nipples or... Nipples or nuts...
-咪♥咪♥还是... -咪♥咪♥还是蛋蛋
Johnny? What?
-约翰尼 -干嘛
We've already talked about this.
我们谈过这个问题
We call them men and women.
我们称之为男人和女人
Men have nipples, too, Chelsea.
男人也有咪♥咪♥ 切尔西
And some of them even like them played with.
有的男人甚至喜欢别人抚弄他的咪♥咪♥
Okay, Johnny, we all heard that. We're standing right here.
行了 约翰尼 我们全听到了 我们就站在这里
All units. Burglary suspectat 4th and Peachtree.
各单位注意 入室盗窃的嫌犯在第四街和桃树街路口
That's the perp from my cruiser.
他是从我的巡逻车上逃走的
He wanted the window down because it was hot.
他说太热了 想把车窗摇下来
All units, please be advised. The perp is very persuasive.
各单位请注意 这个罪犯是个大忽悠
Chels, whaddup?
切尔西 什么事
I've been thinking about your offer to work with you.
我一直在考虑你邀请我共事的事
And I've been thinking that you was gonna come to your senses,
我就知道你会想明白的
and that's why I'm a step ahead of you.
所以我抢先一步
I have the celebratory champagne here to celebrate.
买♥♥了香槟来庆祝
But it ain't the good kind.
不过不是什么好酒