爸爸好尴尬（2021）

Dad Stop Embarrassing Me S01E05

Part 4 April 28, 2021, 7:52 a.m.

So I am here to put my lips and my lip gloss on the line
所以我要拿我的嘴唇和我的唇彩冒险
live on IG.
全程直播
All right, here we go.
好开始了
Kind of spicy.
有点刺鼻
Yeah...
对...
Put your lipstick on, boy! What, you scared?
赶紧涂口红小子怎么你怕了
I ain't scared! I ain't scared of nothing!
我不怕我什么都不怕
I always Harlem Shake when I'm putting on lipstick.
每次涂口红的时候我都会跳哈林摇
So...
那就...
Okay, here we go.
好吧开始了
Okay, yeah.
好对
Apply evenly. Look.
均匀涂抹瞧
Evenly. Apply evenly.
均匀均匀涂抹
I never thought I'd say this to my son,
没想到我会跟儿子说这种话
but your lip gloss is popping!
但你的唇彩美爆了
We good. And... Yeah, I feel great. ...
没事而且... 我感觉好极了
Feels like a...
感觉就像...
Yeah.
对
Feels like a flock of butterflies on my lips.
感觉就像一群蝴蝶落在了嘴唇上
Who cooking bacon?
谁在做培根
Actually, it feels like a flock of butterflies
其实吧感觉就像嘴唇上停着一群
with razor-blade wings on my lips.
长着锋利翅膀的蝴蝶
It's getting kind of hot in here.
越来越烫了
Pops, I'm gonna need some water.
老爹我需要水
I can't understand what you're saying.
我听不清你在说什么
Are they bleeding? Use your lips. I can't hear you.
-在流血吗 -用嘴唇好好说我听不清
Are they bleeding? I can't see through all the smoke.
-在流血吗 -烟太大了我看不清
Pops! I need some water!
老爹我需要水
I gotta get out of here!
我得离开这里
I guess that's a cut.
我猜这就算"停"了
Damn. I knew I should have signed that boy up for track.
见鬼我就知道该让那小子练田径
Pops. Honest opinion.
老爹说实话
What do you think I look like? Shit!
-我看起来怎么样 -见鬼
My God!
老天爷
Your... Your lips look like a flotation device!
你的嘴唇像一件充气救生衣
That bad? Okay.
那么惨吗好吧
Y'all ain't gonna believe this!
你们肯定不会相信
Bay just hit a million followers on Instagram.
贝杨公♥司♥在照片墙上有了一百万粉丝
You're literally a meme! They call you The Motherpucker.
你成表情包了大家管你叫"噘嘴的家伙"
"Motherpucker"? What does that mean?
"噘嘴的家伙" 那是什么意思
It means that your video
意思是你的视频
is more popular than the crying Michael Jordan meme.
比"哭泣的乔丹"表情包还要火
My Jesus!
天啊
Your mouth looks like two airbags deployed.
你的嘴就像两个弹出的安全气囊
Okay. Everybody's funny. Everybody's funny.
好吧人人都是幽默大♥师♥
Now my son's famous for wearing lipstick,
我儿子靠着涂口红一举成名
I should be crying like Michael Jordan.
我应该像乔丹那样大哭
No! No, no, no!
不不不
Your lips look like two hot dogs exploded in the microwave.
你的嘴唇就像两条在微波炉里爆♥炸♥了的热狗
Okay. Everybody's funny.
好吧人人都是幽默大♥师♥
Look, I'm gonna be fine.
听着我没事
All I need is some Benadryl and some Hennessy
只要吃点苯海拉明再喝点轩尼诗
and this will go down.
就会消肿了
What's up?
什么事
The manufacturer confirmed
生产厂家确认了
that they put too much niacin in the lip gloss...
唇彩中的烟酸放多了...
You think?
你以为呢
Which is what's causing the adverse reaction.
所以导致了不良反应
And... But the good news is you broke the Internet.
然后... 不过好消息是互联网被你搞瘫痪了
How is that good news?
这怎么会是好消息
What we gonna use now, fax machines and typewriters?
那我们用什么传真机和打字机吗
No. Brian, listen. I'm serious.
不布莱恩听着我说真的
We have never had this many pre-orders in the history of Bay.
贝杨成立以来从没接到过这么多预售订单
We can't put it out on the street, I'm telling you right now.
我告诉你我们不能卖♥♥这个
They'll run through us like Metamucil.
他们会把我们像美达施一样生吃再拉出去
No. Brian, listen.
不布莱恩听着
We're gonna make it street-legal first,
我们先为它取得街头销♥售♥许可
and then we'll fill the orders.
然后再交付订单
You're about to get paid!
你要发财了
The first thing you should do is get them lips fixed.
首先你应该把嘴唇治好
Yeah. Like, a little liposuction.
-对 -比如嘴唇抽脂手术
Everybody's funny.
人人都是幽默大♥师♥
I ain't gotta stand for all this. I'm going in to work.
我不想听你们奚落我去工作了
I'm going with you.
我和你一起去
We can stop off at the DQ on the way.
我们可以顺路去一趟冰雪皇后餐厅
Damn.
见鬼
Stacy, make sure you lock the door.
史黛西别忘了锁门